Getting home felt like a sigh, everyone felt relief to be home but to Uhtred and his group there was the feeling of something missing. Someone missing. And there was, no denying it. Uhtred was his usual self taking it in his stride and insisting he was fine when it was obvious to anyone who had eyes that he wasn't. Many of the others sulked not knowing what to do with themselves. Tove had gotten past the 'what if?' stage of grief and the crying and the anger, she had the whole ride from Beamfleot to come to the terms of Clapa's death and the guilt she felt and would forever feel. To ease this feeling Tove made a memorial for him; it didn't take long at all. Something that would always remind her of Clapa was the palm sized rocks that were just about flat -perfect for his favorite game, stones- but also flowers. The flowers with big petals on the outside and smaller more delicate ones on the inside just like Clapa. She planted these colorful flowers in oval shapes boarded with the rocks she had spent long walks collecting in the surrounding area of a tree they would sit under to watch the cows in the field or play stones. After his cremation Tove spread his body between the flowers letting him rest in a quiet and comfortable place that he deserved.
A lot can happen in 3 years, everyone expected Tove and Sihtric to start a family after their marriage but that wasn't the case. Sihtric wasn't opposed to the idea as they had a place to call home and for the past 2 years had stuck to small and local raids but Tove was in no rush. And looking back she was glad she had felt this way otherwise her decisions have have not been the same when it happend. When it all came crashing down for Tove. When everything she had fought to hide escaped her grasp as if it were a sheet of paper in the wind. She could no longer act as if she was just quiet about her past because she was not loved as a child. All her running was for nothing, when he caught her.
"What is it?" Sihtric asked fed up of the game,
"Well if I tell you that means you've lost the game and its another point to me. Do you want to give up?" Tove asked a mischievous grin on her face as she knew she had won.
"Fine. Now let my brain rest what was it?"
"It was a horse." She laughed motioning to the ones they sat on.
"What?! The hints you gave were: big, useful and powerful. Are you sure that was the same thing you thought of?" Tove couldn't help but laugh also joined by Uhtred. The score was no 7:2 to Tove, each time he reacted the same, absolutely dumbfounded the asnwer was so simple but he couldnt get it.
"Yes I swear to you my love that is what it was, a horse."
"Well I'm choosing a new game because that is definitely not a proper game."
"There is no need for that Sihtric we have arrived." Uhtred slowly brought his horse to a stop, turning to face the group he spoke again. "This is a Saxon village there are not many buildings that aren't houses, from what I've been told there are around 15-20 Danes which is slightly more than our 12 men. I don't think they will be prepared for our attack. Finan, Osferth and Tove I want you to go round the back of the village from the east and wait for my signal, the rest of you are with me and Sihtric. We will enter through the north side and follow the path to the village hall where most of the Danes should be. You three can go leave your horse here." With a nod to their Lord the warriors dismounted and began through the forest the long way round to the village as Uhtred began to speak again. Tove gave Sihtric one last smile before she disappeared into the tree line.
"How much longer do you think they will be?" Osferth said huffing.
"Stop complaining baby monk, they will take the time they need, we have the easy job. Just wait and-" Before Finan even finished his second sentence the fight had begun. Shouting and swords clashing started from behind the houses they hid behind. "Well you got what you wished for."
The trio weren't far from the fighting at all, it was only a short jog before they spotted Uhtred. They wasted no time fighting, Osferth with Tove's guidance had become more confident with an axe and was really using it which was something he had worried about for a long time. The concentration on his face was very apparent. To Tove it came easily, she was used to the weight of the axe and could maneuver it with no trouble. That was until they locked eyes. She froze, every muscle in her body tensed. Her breathing began to become uneven and rapid. Finan's quick glance in her direction was now prolonged. The muscles in her face began to twitch as if she were about to cry but her nose began to snarl in anger then her lip began to wobble again. Just as he opened his mouth to ask her what was wrong she bolted in the direction of the forest dropping her axe at her feet.
"Tove?" Finan called after her catching the attention of Sihtric. A few of the Danes ran after Tove laughing and cheering as they did so. Sihtric swung his axe into another Dane as he made his was to Finan, his stride was interrupted by someone grabbing the back of his shirt and pulling him back, just in time though. A horse thundered past him, it would surely have killed him if he took another step.
"Him, the one on the horse he was the one who was asking for me he must be their Lord." Uhtred said releasing him.
"Finan what is it?" Sihtric asked looking around for Tove, he though Finan called to her because she was hurt but he could not see her anywhere. Finan looked from Sihtric to the forest in the direction the horse was now running.
"She just ran. Something's wrong."
"Well come on then!" Sihtric shouted adjusting the grip on his axe before he began running in the direction she left in.
The forest was dense, there wasn't enough room for the 3 men to run side by side, trees cropped up from every direction. Logs littered the floor. They looked in every direction hoping to catch a glimpse of Tove or the horse, anyone.
"Sihtric!" her scream rung out through the forest echoing from every which direction. The three stopped looking around and trying to gather where the sound came from.
"To-"
"Sihtric!" This time her scream sounded more out of breath, more desperate.
"Tove?" Sihtric called out.
"This way." Uhtred said pointing at the hoof marks in the dirt. Sihtric didn't have to be told twice, he was off like an arrow out of a bow.
"Sihtric please." even more desperate now. But it was so close now, she was so close now. Sihtric suddenly tripped, followed by both Finan and Uhtred. It was a trap, a rope was held by two of the danes, as they hit the floor they were grabbed and pulled to their knees. Tove was being held the same way, her hands pulled behind her back. The dane Uhtred had mentioned before had a hold of her a dagger pulled closely to her throat.
"Which one is it Meren?" Tove winced at the name. She avoided the men's eyes especially Sihtric's. With no reply the dane grabbed Tove's braided hair and yanked on it forcing her to look up,
"Well I know it is not young Uhtred here, I was wondering when I would run into you again. A Lord now I hear, wouldn't Earl Ragnar be proud?" Uhtred listened confused, he did not recognize this man, he squinted his eyes still searching his memory. His confusion was met with a laugh
"I asked you a question." The man said again pulling at Tove's hair, "Which one is your husband, Sihtric I'm guessing as his name is the one you called for when I caught you." Sihtric inhaled as if her were going to say something but after seeing Tove's panicked head shake in his direction he changed his mind.
"Ah, it's you. You are the man who has married my wife."
"What?" Sihtric almost shouted, his voice was a mix of shock a disbelief.
"You heard me boy."
"She is not your wife she is wedded to me. Who even are you?" Sihtric pulled against the dane holding him.
"She may be wedded to you now but she was mine first. Did she not tell you? I mean if you are married I'm sure that would be a key part of information, wouldn't it?"
"Liar," Sihtric snarled. He would not let Tove be faced with such slander. The dane holding him hit him hard over the back of the head.
"Einar please," The arguing was making her head hurt. It was now she regretted calling out for Sihtric. She had given in to her fear and begged for his help so selfishly.
"Tove you know this man?" Uhtred still hadn't remembered the familiar face.
"Uhtred, look at him. Really look at him." She said pleading with her eyes. Uhtred squinted but still he couldn't remember him. Tove began to hum a tune through her teeth, then it clicked. It was a song he and Tove's brothers had made up when they were younger about a Dane lord who lived not to far from them. He was known for being short tempered and cruel and with these traits unsurprisingly friends with Kjartan.
"Ah, there it is." Einar grinned as if he had accomplished something.
"Would someone please tell me what is going on?" Sihtirc demanded.
"I've come to get my wife. You see I have been searching for her for almost 8 years now."
"Tove what is he talking about?" Sihtric tried to catch her eye but she refused him,
"If you are anything like Earl Ragnar I cannot believe you would let a woman like this follow you Uhtred. A fraud, a liar, a traitor,"
"Einar stop it. Please just-"
"Be quiet. I will deal with you later."
"Tove is none of these things she is a loyal woman who has served me well for many years."
"Oh has she? Is that why she uses a fake name? Or why she remarried while I live?"
"Tove come on you arn't married to this man are you?" Uhtred laughed confident in her answer being no. But she stayed silent. She stared straight into the floor as she began to cry.
"Tove?"
"It isn't how it seems Uhtred."
"What the fuck Tove?" The disgust in Sihtric'c voice made Tove want to be sick. It was a tone she could never imagine he would direct at her. But to Einar it was music to his ears, just what he wanted to do. He wanted them all to hate her, to not look for her when he made her disappear.
"That's why you never wanted to talk to me about your past because you already have a husband. You were happily married and what? Fancied a change?" Tove scoffed at his remark. Now she looked at him, she stared at him dead in the eyes
"Happily married? Happily? Do you know what age i was married at? 10! Do you think we fell in love and ran off?" her breath became quick as she sobbed through her shouts. She had enough of Einar pouring poison in their ears and what right did they have making assumptions?
"10 but you disappeared when you were 9." Uhtred, once again slow to follow interrupted Tove,
"Well done. Best memory award goes to Uhtred,"
"Hey Tove there is no need-"
"No!" Tove screamed cutting Finan off, she writhed against Einar's grip until he let her go leaving her on the floor free to point angrily as she shouted.
"You Uhtred Ragnarson have no right to talk about my family. None. They died for you and your stupid fucking fight with Sven." Uhtred tried to protest but knew he would not be heard while she shouted. Even the mention of her family made her begin to sweat, her stomach turned.
"Kjartan and Einar came to my Mother and Father asking them to join them in killing Earl Ragnar. When of course my mother refused they threatened my parents. My father sent of Bjorn to warn you but they shot an arrow through his head before he even finished climbing the fence. We had no time to run before the fire started, then the killing." The taste of smoke in the back of her throat only worsened the sick feeling she felt.
"Tove I-" Uhtred tried to apologise
It all came back to her so clearly, seeing Bjorn's body go limp as it toppled over the fence; at least his death was the least painful. The scream from her mother and the curses she shouted at Einar, the tight grip her mother used to guide her away as they ran. The sound of people rushing in all different directions and the feel of the huge hands that snatched her from her mother. Tove had to clench her teeth to hold the vomit that threatened to spill from her mouth.
"You think I wanted this? I never lied to you I just didn't mention it."
"You're still a traitor Meren, abandoning your son how you did." Einar smirked, he was completely unfazed by the memory Tove was forced to relive. He did not join the three men in looks of horror instead he couldn't wait to turn them against her once more. He hoped his plan was working. Hearing what he said Tove began to sob. Not as she cried before, now her whole body shook and she didn't contain the distressed cries.
"What do you want from me Einar? If it is my life you want you can have it, spare me the pain and get it over with. I have no silver to give you." Tove knew not what to say. She escaped him thinking the consequence that would catch up to her would be death. But this was much worse. She could feel her whole world crashing down around her, there was no going back now.
"No no, my dear wife," Einar began stroking Tove's hair as she cried "I could not waste a woman like you. Sihtric did you know of our son?"
"No." Sihtric answered begrudgingly.
"He is a boy like no other: tall, brave, smart, fast. Everything a man could want in a future heir but he is keen in battle and I cannot contain him yet I fear for his loss."
"You have many sons. Many wives. I am not special." Tove murmerd spitefully,
"You undervalue yourself my dear. Why do you think I would go through all that trouble with killing your brothers if you weren't worth something? You're right I have sons but none as perfect as ours. The others are sickly and weak."
"No." Sihtric breathed, he knew what Einar was proposing.
"I need more sons, more of you. You are all I need, no woman can compare to you no sons compare to ours." Sihtric began to struggle against the man restraining him, Einar wouldn't touch his wife traitor or not.
"Where has this sudden appreciation for me come from? I remember what you did to me. That. That was not love." She wanted to laugh. She was so, well there was no word for it. Furious didn't compare even closely to what she felt in that moment.
"I'm not asking Meren." The admiration that had controlled his voice previously was now gone. It was replaced with annoyance as if this was taking too long. He now wanted to see if the men once loyal to her would still fight for her now they knew who she truly was.
"Well your mad if you think I'm going." Tove grabbed the dagger that was previously held to her throat out of Einar's had and positioned it in front of her abdomen.
"Tove no!" Sihtric yelled as he finally broke free of the grip that held him,
Sihtric only had a few steps to reach her but so did Einar, he saw the danes rugged hands begin to reach for her and hoped she was bluffing with the dagger. Sihtric lunged at Einar wrapping his arms round his neck.
"If the only sons I birth are yours I will birth no sons." She shouted in a shakey voice her tears now stopping. She was sure in her decision, she was ready.
Then she plunged the dagger deep into herself.