This is an extremely long fic I've been working on for a month now, and I'm really happy with how it turned out. I hope you guys enjoy reading it as much as I did writing it. And I wanted to thank you guys for the support you've been showing, it's really motivated me and made me want to write more and I think I've improved immensely from when I started posting on here. I really love and appreciate you guys and you're the biggest reason why I keep on writing and posting here.
Tagging the person who asked me to post it here angelbby97
Dean had been falling behind with paying rent and other bills the past couple months, and it hadn't been fun at all. Dealing with the constant demand for an interior designer and architect, and him always having to come up with different designs and styles in a short time and getting paid next to nothing since he was new, also not to mention that an angry, money hungry landlord would come knocking at the door at least once a week continuing to threaten eviction and ranting on how one patron out of the twenty-something others in the apartment being behind on rent payments was breaking him. Dean would react the same way every time, by only giving him a nod and reassuring him that he would get the money to him when he could.
He had thought about the other options he had, which weren't appealing or possible. One: moving back in with his mother (and Dean having to work two jobs since she was too high or too damn lazy to go out and find a job, yeah, that definitely sounds appealing.) Two: Moving back in with his best friend Roman (who had the sex drive of a teenage boy going through puberty, the noises coming from him and his girlfriend in the next room scarring him and keeping him up at night, definitely not.) And three: getting a roommate.
Option three definitely sounded like the best option in this case, especially if that meant he would only have to pay only half of the bills and get his landlord off his case sooner. Plus, he did have an extra furnished bedroom that only got used when Roman crashed there when him and his girlfriend got into bad arguments. So that's how Dean ended up calling the town paper the next day, putting in an ad for a roommate.
It was a week later when somebody emailed Dean regarding the roommate ad, Dean putting the finishing touches of some drawings for a house that he was currently helping build at the time when his laptop has dinged from the bed, notifying that Dean had received an email. Dean turned around in his office chair and slid his laptop down to the foot of the bed, opening the laptop and logging into his email to open the message.
To: deanambrose127@yahoo.com
From: seth_rollins28@gmail.com
Subject: Roommate ad
Hello,
I saw your ad regarding you needing a roommate in the paper, and I would be interested in meeting you in the near future? Reply when you can.
-Seth Rollins
"Yes!" Dean pumped his hands in the air as he silently celebrated, thanking the gods above for working with him for once.
Dean clicked on the reply button and quickly typed out his reply, reading it over before he sent it.
To: seth_rollins28@gmail.com
From: deanambrose127@yahoo.com
Subject: RE: Roommate ad
Hey Seth,
It's really relieving to hear that someone is interested in working with me on this situation. If you're able to, we could meet tomorrow. 124 East Avenue, apartment 13 in Stow, maybe around 3 pm? Hope that works out for you.
-Dean Ambrose
Dean had only turned back to his drawing desk when Seth had replied, Dean going back to his bed to open the email.
To: deanambrose127@yahoo.com
From: seth_rollins28@gmail.com
Subject: RE: RE: Roommate ad
That works out perfectly. See you then.
-Seth Rollins
Dean shut down and closed his laptop after reading the email, relieved that he finally found a solution to an extremely stressful problem. He sighed contently, piling all his papers neatly and putting all his supplies in his backpack, 2 hours of drawing and planning being enough for tonight. He could work more after the meeting with the Seth guy tomorrow. He shut off his bedside lamp and got under his covers, falling asleep peacefully for the first time in weeks.
***
Seth pulled his hair into the neatest bun he could create, feeling somewhat nervous about this meeting with Dean. What if Dean didn't like him? As much as Seth loved his parents, he was 29. He was getting a little bit sick of his mother being so overbearing and getting next to no privacy. He had lived with his ex girlfriend for 6 years, but after a nasty break up, Seth had to get a second job as a bartender while being a personal trainer, and he ended up having to move back in with his parents who welcomed him back with open arms, staying with them until he could get back on his feet.
Seth's thoughts were interrupted by the sudden vibration of his phone in his back pocket, him quickly shoving his hand in his pocket and pulling his phone out, seeing a text from his boyfriend Dean, who ironically had the same name as the guy he was meeting today. Seth smiled, Dean being one of the only people who Seth could talk to and made him feel better.
But their relationship was strictly online, since they never had time to meet up, and Dean had an ancient flip phone that couldn't send or recieve pictures, plus Dean didn't know how to use video chat, so they didn't even know what they looked like, only by their brief descriptions of each other. It was totally out of luck of how and when the two met, one late night when Dean had texted the wrong number which happened to be Seth's, ranting about his ex boyfriend and how much of a lying, cheating bastard he was, and Seth had stayed there to support him, and also to rant about his ex girlfriend. They just ended up not stopping their conversations and texting each other everyday. Seth knew it sounded bizarre, he was dating some guy he met over a text to the wrong person and didn't know what he looked like, but Dean meant a lot to him and they've even confessed their love to each other, so it's legitimate (at least Seth thinks so).
He unlocked his phone and went to messages, reading the text he had received.
Dean: hey, whats up with u today?
Seth smiled, knowing this was how Dean always started their conversations that could go on forever.
Seth: im about to go talk to that guy about the roommate thing. im kinda nervous
He sent the text and locked his phone, putting in his front pocket and slipped on his Vans, then went downstairs to get his keys.
"Seth, where are you going?" his mother walked out of the kitchen, wiping her hands with a towel.
"I'm going to meet a guy about being roommates today." Seth answered. "I, uh, thought it would the first step in getting my own place and back onto my feet."
"You're trying to go live with somebody you don't even know? Do you not know how dangerous that is?" She shook her head, her voice getting higher.
"Mom, it's a good way for me to meet new people and save up for my own apartment that I'll get eventually." Seth sighed, knowing that his mother's overbearing and overprotective side was starting to come out.
"Then just find a place of your own, you'll learn to be independent and be able to budget your own money." She compromised.
"No, because all the money I've saved up will be gone so fast and I'll be back here within a month." Seth retorted. "Mom, I know what I'm doing. I'm 29, not 9. I'll be back soon." He walked out the house, getting into his car and getting out his phone to see two text messages from Dean.
Dean: i have my meeting too, hes coming over soon.
Dean: but u shouldnt be nervous i dont know how anybody couldnt like u ;) besides, i should be the 1 worried here. nobody likes someone as weird as me, ill probably chase him away or sum shit like that
Seth shook his head, blushing thanks to Dean's charm and annoyed at him always putting himself down, quickly typing in a response.
Seth: youre only saying that bc youre my bf. but youre unique, this guy should definitely like you just be yourself. love you
Dean responded seconds later.
Dean: i only speak the truth. thanks for the talk. love u 2
Seth smiled fondly at the text, locking his phone and putting it in the cup holder. He started the car and put it in reverse, pulling out of the driveway and putting the car in drive and speeding down the street.
***
Dean was sat on the couch in the living room, making sure he had everything he needed to show to Seth. He had gotten everything ready after he had texted his online boyfriend, Seth, and gotten a few positive words from him. He had all the bills he had to pay and other things he had that he thought were important to show to Seth laid out on the coffee table in front of him.
"Okay, I think I've got everything I need." Dean murmured to himself, lining all the papers up with each other and making sure they were in the right spots in the right pile. He then got up from the couch and walked around the apartment for the third time, making sure everything and everywhere was clean and presentable. He looked in the mirror and observed himself, him wearing his usual outfit of a t shirt and a leather jacket with a pair of blue jeans.
"I look good enough." He shrugged, then going back into the living room, the only thing to do was wait for Seth to arrive. He needed to make a good impression and convince this guy to move in, his life literally depended on it. He was starting to go broke and he was pretty sure he was one angry visit from his landlord away from an eviction letter. The doorbell rang and Dean stood up, walking to the door before opening it.
The guy looked young, in his late twenties like Dean, and he stood at the tallest six feet as Dean had to tilt his head down at the slightest angle to make eye contact with the man.
"Uh, hi. I'm Seth Rollins, the guy who emailed you about the roommate ad?" He explained, never breaking eye contact with Dean.
"Dean Ambrose." Seth held out his hand and Dean shook it firmly, pulling his hand back to his side. "Come in."
Dean stepped to the side and Seth walked in, his arms crossed at his chest as he observed the apartment, careful not to miss a spot.
"Nice place." Seth nodded, feeling the material of the couch.
"Thanks?" Dean answered, confused and intrigued by Seth. "I'll show you around." Seth nodded and followed Dean into the kitchen, Dean switching the light on.
"This is the kitchen as you can see, and the apartment doesn't come with utilities, so I have to pay rent plus gas, water, and electricity." Dean explained, Seth nodding. Dean let Seth look around for a minute, then turning off the light and leading Seth to the bathroom, then to his room.
"This'll be your room, and I could care less with what you do with it, just don't mess up the furniture since it isn't mine." Dean said.
"That's fine." Seth shrugged, then following Dean back to the living room and sitting on the couch opposite of Dean.
Seth looked around once again, taking it all in (not like there was much to take in, though.). It was a nice apartment, small, but not like they'd always be on top of each other and breathing down their necks. It was very basic and clean, Seth hating to judge but thought by the somewhat grungy and dirty look of Dean (but was quite attractive by the way), he didn't think he'd keep his place this clean.
"Yeah I know, with how I dress and present myself I guess, you wouldn't think that I would keep my place this clean." Seth's eyes widened, Dean seeming like he just read his mind. Seth opened his mouth to speak, but Dean interrupted him before he could with a further explanation.
"I was just raised in a dirty environment, and I was kinda sick of everything staying dirty, you know?" Seth nodded at Dean, understanding the best he could. "Plus, there's only one person living here, there's no need to make a big mess or not clean it up."
"Completely understandable." Seth replied, Dean letting a small smirk appear on his face.
"Yeah. I guess I'll just show you what bills I have, how things'll work if you move in, and maybe just ask you a few questions about yourself, you know, the basics. Your age, job, do you go to college, all that shit." Dean explained, sitting forward with his elbows resting on his knees. "Then I'll like, answer the question after so you don't leave her with barely an idea of me."
"That's fine. Shoot." Seth shrugged.
"Okay. First, do you have a job and you'll actually be able to pay bills, or are you just here trying to find a place to crash at and call home?" Seth's eyes widened at the context of the question, surprised at how blunt and straightforward Dean was.
"Uh, yeah I have a job. I'm a personal trainer at the gym by day, and a bartender at the bar Round 'n' Third across the street by night." Seth answered. Dean nodded at his answer, and rubbed his hands together. "You?"
"I draw designs for houses and buildings." Dean explained. "But I'm newer, so I'm not bringing in the big bucks, yet."
Seth nodded at him, surprised that somebody like him knew how to draw, also not to mention that he must have an interest for home decorating.
"Yeah I know, I don't really look like the type." Dean confirmed his thoughts, shrugging nonchalantly. "I didn't really expect it either. I just had a real interest for drawing in middle school, then I discovered I liked interior design and they became passions, so I turned it all into a potential career. I would decorate this place more, if I had the money. I've a few ideas in my head." Seth was oddly interested in what the guy would come up with, and he wrote himself a mental note to ask to see some of his drawings one day.
Seth realized how Dean always shut down his assumptions so nonchalantly, it was like he was used to it. It made Seth feel guilty for being so prejudice, but he didn't dwell on it.
Dean asked a few more questions in the same awkward fashion, then explaining to Seth how they would split the bills in half and how they would handle other things.
"So, you think you'd want to move in?" Dean asked after it was all had been said, watching Seth think about it.
Seth was quite attractive, Dean couldn't lie, but he wouldn't say anything or show any signs since he didn't want to chase off somebody else again, plus he was (kind of) seeing someone. He thought the two toned hair was quite cool, similar to his boyfriend's (well, his imagined boyfriend), and he had warm brown eyes, and his plump pink lips that Dean would want to kiss if he was single. And he was quite built, toned arms and shoulders that Dean found incredibly attractive, Seth was basically his dream guy in appearance.
"Yeah. It seems like a nice area, and you seem like a cool guy." Seth nodded, his hands shoved in his pockets. Dean smiled brightly, all of the stress he had been experiencing disappearing suddenly.
"Great! Do you need help moving in? When do you think you're going to be moving in?" Dean asked.
"I think I'll be moving in Saturday afternoon." Seth answered, scratching the back of his neck. "And since you asked, do you have any extra boxes I could use? Maybe like four or five little boxes?"
"I might. Let me go look." Dean walked to his closet and found some folded up boxes in the corner, grunting triumphantly as he pulled them out, holding them out to Seth.
"Thanks." Dean nodded in response, following Seth to the door.
"Well, see you Saturday." Dean opened the door for Seth, Seth muttering a goodbye as he walked out, Dean closing the door behind him.
***
"Dean, why didn't you just move back in with me? Why move some random stranger in?" Roman took a sip of his beer, not taking his eyes off of the football game showing on the TV. Dean and Roman usually met up at the bar to watch the game together or just to hang out, and tonight was one of those nights, especially tonight because both of their favorite teams were playing each other and they had betted high against each other.
"Because Roman, I'm not moving in with you when I moved out of there for a reason." Dean countered, shaking his head. He cursed in his head when he saw that his team was losing, since he had talked a lot of shit to everybody at the gym all this week.
"Well, why did you move out?" Roman asked, turning his head slightly. "You never did give me a real reason."
"Because I lost so much sleep living with you." Dean sighed, exasperated. "You literally don't know how to keep it in your pants and you're so fucking loud. I couldn't handle it."
But now Dean wasn't getting any sleep out of stress. He was always worried about not being able to pay his bills and constantly lived in fear of getting an eviction notice from his landlord. But he also knew moving out wouldn't solve anything either, since he would have to worry about splitting the bills between him and Roman, plus paying off his other bills, it would just bring more problems.
Roman cleared his throat, clearly not expecting that answer. "Now, now, we couldn't have been that loud."
"Oh no, I didn't hear Galina at all, it's YOU. You make these inhuman noises and the constant bang of the headboard against the wall, it's quite disturbing." Dean downed the rest of beer, letting Roman think about Dean's statement.
"Shut up, before I make you pay for all of the guys' drinks." Roman growled, Dean loudly laughing at his red face. It was quite tough and rare to make Roman Reigns embarrassed, but his face was as red as a tomato.
Dean had sighed after he had stopped with his laughing fit, turning his head to the TV when he spotted Seth standing on the other side of the bar, smiling at someone he was talking to. Dean's chest tightened slightly at the sight, Seth looking a lot more attractive when he smiled, shaking his head to remind himself that he already had a boyfriend whom he loved and was committed to. Seth looked over and saw Dean, nodding his head at him and said something to the person he was talking to then walked towards him.
"Hey, Dean." Seth greeted him, smiling him the same way he was at the other person a few seconds ago. "Here for the game?"
"Yeah, our two teams are going against each other. Couldn't miss it." He pointed his thumb toward Roman. "Oh, Roman this is my new roommate Seth. Seth, this is my best friend Roman."
"What's up, man?" Seth held out his hand to Roman who shook it , then resting his hand back on the bar.
"I'm doing good." Roman nodded at him.
"You ready to move in tomorrow?" Dean asked.
"Yeah, I just need to pack a few more clothes then I'll be there sometime in the afternoon." Seth nodded, resting his forearms on the bar.
"Oh okay, that's cool. I'll be there so I can help you bring the boxes up even though you only have a few."
"Yeah, that's fine." Seth agreed. "You two need new beers?" Seth eyed their empty beer bottles.
"Nah, I'm driving." Roman politely declined.
"Sure." Dean nodded.
Seth turned around and got a beer bottle and opened it, then putting it in front of Dean. "This one's on the house." Dean thanked him and took a sip. "You sure you don't want one, Roman? It's no charge."
"Nah, it's fine, really. But thanks."
"Well, I have to work the rest of the bar, so I'll see you tomorrow Dean. Nice meeting you Roman." Seth walked away, leaving the two friends alone again.
"Well, he seems nice." Roman said.
"Yeah, he's cool."
"He's your type?" Roman nudged Dean.
"Yeah, he's exactly my type. Quite attractive, honestly." Dean answered.
"You like him?"
"I just met him, Roman." Dean scoffed. "Plus, I have a boyfriend."
"You're still texting that guy?" Roman asked in disbelief.
"That guy's name is Seth ironically, and yes I'm still talking to him."
"So his name's Seth too?"
"Yeah." Dean rolled his eyes.
"Would be crazy if that were the same guy, wouldn't it?" Roman laughed softly.
"Doubt it." Dean took another sip of his beer, turning his attention back to the game.
They had only stuck around for another twenty minutes, leaving after the game and arguing over who would be paying for the beers they had before Roman handed Seth a twenty, Dean grumbling all the way home. Dean was feeling kind of buzzed, so of course Roman kept his word and drove him home.
"Thanks for making me go out tonight." Dean said. "It was fun."
"Yeah, even when the 49er's kicked the Browns' ass." Roman grinned, Dean flicking him off and shutting the car door, Roman driving off as Dean walked upstairs to his apartment. He unlocked the front door and entered his apartment, closing the door and locking it. He kicked off his boots and put them on the floor of the coat closet, then putting his keys in the bowl with his car keys in the kitchen.
Dean went to his room and stripped out of his clothes down to his boxers and threw them to floor in a pile at the foot of his bed, telling himself that he would put them away in the morning as he got under the covers, turning on his phone to see a text from his boyfriend.
Seth: hey, what's up?
Dean smiled at the simple text, quickly typing an answer.
Dean: just got home from the bar with Roman, we ran into my new roommate there. what u doing?
He sent the text and laid back down, almost asleep when his phone vibrated on the nightstand by his bed.
Seth: oh, that's cool. i just left work, i had to close tonight. he's moving in tomorrow, right?
Dean: yeah, tomorrow afternoon. i'm kinda tipsy and tired, so i'll text you more tomorrow, ok? love u.
Dean sent the text and put his phone back on the nightstand, falling asleep as soon as his head the pillow this time, not hearing his phone vibrating again.
***
"Was that the last box?" Dean set the boxes he had down on the floor, turning around to face Seth.
"Yeah, I think so. I'll go check." Seth put the boxes he was holding down and walked out, leaving Dean alone. Dean looked around the room, seriously questioning himself as to why he was doing this.
He pulled out his phone to see he had no texts from Seth, putting it back in his pocket as he let out a sigh.
"Everything okay?" Seth asked, carrying a box that seemed to hold a shelf. He set it down on the floor, wiping his hands on his jeans.
"Oh, yeah I'm fine." Dean nodded. "Was that it?"
"Yeah, that was the last box."
"Do you need help unpacking?"
"No, I think I'm fine." Seth shook his head, hands resting on his hips.
"Okay. If you need anything though, I'll be in my room." Dean said, then turned around to go to his room. He got his work folder out of his backpack and sat at his desk, pulling out his drawings for his current project. He looked it over, trying to decide where he would start. He was currently working on a house for a newly married couple who wanted to build their own house, and Dean had been picked as the designer. He opened his laptop and launched Google Sketch, so he could give them a more realistic vision of the house. That's how he usually worked, he drew everything by hand, then after he was happy with it, he put it on the laptop.
But he had everything drawn out, he just saw something wrong with it. But he couldn't figure it out. He sat there with his head in his hands, closely studying the sketches to see what he had to change. He must've been sitting there for quite some time, because he was startled when Seth knocked on his door.
"Sorry, didn't mean to scare you." He put his hands up.
"No, it's fine. I just get really into my work." Dean waved him off. "You done packing already?"
"Yeah, I'm just building that shelf I picked up yesterday." Seth shrugged his shoulders. "I came in here to see if you could help me with it real quick, but I see you're busy." Seth cocked his head to see what Dean was working on, impressed with his skill.
"No, it's fine. I'm kind of stuck anyway." Dean stood up, and that's when Seth took the opportunity to get a closer look.
"Wait, I think I see something." Seth said, resting a hand on the desk.
"What?" Dean asked, interested by what Seth would have to say.
"Well, if this house is going to be on the corner, you could move the garage over 90 degrees and center the house a little bit." Seth explained. "Then you would have some more front yard space and expand the backyard a bit so you could add some more greenery. And also, you might want to add some brick to accent the exterior a bit. You don't want to overdo it with the siding."
Dean took in Seth's advice, looking at the sketches. He noticed that Seth was exactly right, him smiling at Seth.
"That sounds way better than these. I'll definitely do that." Dean quickly scribbled down Seth's suggestions on a sticky note, sticking it onto the sketch. "Thanks."
"Anytime, man. You looked like you needed some help." Seth clasped a hand on his shoulder.
"Yeah, it's going to look a lot better." Dean nodded. "Now, what did you need help with?"
***
The first few weeks of Seth and Dean living together as roommates had gone quite smoothly, following all the rules the both of them had come up with together and following a consistent schedule, and Dean finally got to feel the satisfaction of handing over the rent money he owed to his landlord the next week when his landlord had shown up with an eviction notice, Dean putting the roll of money in his hand and shutting the door before he could chew him out or hand Dean the form.
But all good things come to an end, and roommates definitely weren't an exception to that saying.
It was just small mistakes at first. Forgetting an item that was on the shopping list, leaving dirty underwear on the bathroom floor, or just misplacing something. But now, it was starting to get worse, more consistent, and a lot more tense at the apartment.
And it wasn't just one person doing it, they were both to blame. Seth would literally throw his clothes everywhere, he would take too long using their shared bathroom, and he made the classic mistake of throwing a red shirt in with the whites, turning all their clothes pink and Dean having to go buy new shirts, socks, and underwear. And he could never follow simple instructions, as Seth was a stubborn person who went by the saying 'my way or no way', which always ended in disasters. And he always forgot at least one ingredient when Dean wanted to cook something nice, it always turning out to be the key ingredient and they would just settle on ramen noodles or grilled cheese sandwiches.
Dean on the other hand, was just as worse. He was an absent-minded person, meaning he got very easily distracted and forgot a lot of things. Seth was amazed that Dean still had a job (especially the kind of work he was in) for how clueless he could be sometimes. He almost caught their kitchen on fire once, when he had placed a towel a little too close to the lightened burner. And he constantly burned their food, since he got distracted by something stupid or by a work call. But Seth couldn't complain, he couldn't cook to save his life and he would probably poison him and Dean by accident.
Also not to mention that Dean had been getting a lot more clients and projects, requiring more time for working and not as much for house chores, all that falling on Seth, when he had his two jobs to deal with. And Dean had gotten more snappy, since he was always on edge on making the deadlines for the multiple projects he had to complete simultaneously. Dean just told Seth to quit the job that paid less, but Seth always refused since he did enjoy both jobs.
But there were even more problems, deeper problems between the two. There was this strange tension between the two, it wasn't dislike for each other or anything negative like that, but it felt like it was their feelings. Dean had started to gain these feelings for Seth, the same feelings he had for his boyfriend, and it was rubbing Dean the wrong way. He didn't want to do anything that could hurt his boyfriend Seth or their relationship. So he just tried to avoid Seth, sometimes it came off as obvious, but Seth hadn't said anything about it so Dean thought he was getting the message out.
But not the right way.
But Dean and Seth had gotten into a heated argument one night, after Seth had finally cracked under all the stress and the tense atmosphere in the apartment.
"I'm sorry I have a job that literally takes up all my time!" Dean yelled, throwing his hands up in the air. "It brings us money so still have a roof over our heads!"
"Don't act like you pay everything here! I pay half of the bills!" Seth spat, a frown resting on his face. "And even though I have two jobs, I do, barely, handle all the errands and chores around here while you're cooped up in your room all day!"
"I'm working in there and you know it!" Dean stepped closer to Seth, Seth not backing down.
"Well, you could spare at least 30 minutes of your work day and help around here! You live here too!"
"Yeah no shit, I moved you in here! And I will move your ass back to Mommy and Daddy if you keep on bitching." Dean snarled, Seth shoving Dean.
Dean stumbled back, him catching Seth's wrist to keep himself from falling, pulling Seth into his chest. They stayed in that stance for a few moments, staring into each other's eyes. Seth pushed him away, an angry look on his face mixed with... hurt?
Dean turned his head to the side a bit, studying Seth as he stood there, not breaking eye contact with Dean as he crossed his arms across his chest.
"What happened to you, Dean?" Seth broke the silence. "At first, you were really cool and outgoing, and I thought we could become really good friends. What happened? Did I do something wrong?"
Dean looked up at Seth, seeing his face was only filled with confusion and hurt. Dean sighed, feeling shitty that he hurt Seth's feelings, he never intended to make him feel that way. He just wanted to guard himself, guard his relationship.
"I-I didn't move in just to get out of my parent's house. When I met you, I immediately liked you and I wanted to get to know you more. But along the way, I kind of fell for you." Seth admitted quietly. Dean's head shot up, his mouth agape at Seth's admission. "There, I said it."
Seth walked over to the couch and sat down, setting his elbows on his knees and buried his head in his hands.
"Seth. What's wrong?" Dean sat next to Seth, trying to act like a friend to start and make up for his uncalled for behavior lately.
"I shouldn't feel these things towards you. I've been talking to someone online for almost a year now, and we're kind of a thing. Well, as much as we can be." Seth sighed.
"I know how you feel. Strangely, I'm going through the same thing as you right now." Dean admitted, letting his guard down a little bit. "You're dating someone amazing, but along the way, while you're living your own lives, you meet someone and they sweep you off your feet." Seth looked up at Dean, seeing that Dean was being sincere and genuine about everything he was saying.
"What do you mean?" Seth asked. Dean is seeing someone? He 's never seen him bring anyone by.
"I'm... in an online relationship too. Met him after my ex cheated on me. And I grew to love him and everything, but then I met you, and all these feelings started coming to me. I couldn't do my boyfriend wrong like what happened to me. It really hurt me and made me feel weak and taken advantage of."
Dean didn't like to think of himself like weak. He was raised in a very aggressive environment, and he didn't have his mother there to fight his battles like others did. So he grew up to very independent, strong, and had built all these walls around him to keep anyone from potentially hurting him. But with his ex, when he found him in their bed with someone else, he knew he made a mistake. But that was the weak part in Dean. When he felt something for someone, he tried to stay closed up so they couldn't take advantage of him, but he always opened up to them and it didn't always turn out the best. Roman's really the only person he trusts with all his heart, ever since he took him in that night when Roman found him in an alley beaten up and bruised, and they had grown a brotherly bond that Dean had never gotten as a child.
So now, he felt extremely exposed and vulnerable in front of Seth and he hated it, hated the feeling, he just felt like pushing Seth and away and locking himself in his room, but that's what caused this to happen. It was basically a lose-lose situation.
"Dean, I'm not one of those people. I would never dream of hurting you or anyone like that." Seth hesitated, then put a hand on Dean's arm, rubbing it soothingly.
"I know, but I can't hurt him like that. Not how my ex hurt me. It would make me just as bad as him and I hate hurting people." Dean admitted, Seth being surprised by Dean's last statement.
"I wasn't supposed to say that last part, was I?" Dean cursed himself, his head down, his shaggy bangs hiding his eyes.
"I'm not sure." Seth shrugged. "But I don't care. I'm sorry that you had to go through all this pain and suffering from your break up, even though it seems like it goes deeper than that. But I won't push you. Only you can confirm my thoughts and you don't ever have to. I'm fine with that. But know that I'm your friend, I won't ever hurt you like they did, I'm not them."
Dean finally looked up, turning his head to Seth as he saw that Seth was still looking at him. He had been looking at him the entire time. When he saw the expression on Seth's face, Dean hated it. He wanted to hate Seth. It was care mixed with pity, and Dean hated people feeling bad for him. They couldn't do anything about it, they didn't cause it, and they couldn't fix it either. Dean stood up abruptly, walking away from Seth, but he only followed him.
"Dean?" Seth spoke, genuinely confused.
"Don't do that." Dean snarled, confusing Seth. "Don't pity me. I hate pity, you shouldn't even care about me. Nobody cares abo-"
Seth was tired of Dean constantly putting himself down, so he shut him up the only way he could. He placed a hand on the back of Dean's head and the other on his shoulder, and pressed their lips together. Dean was shocked at first, his eyes wide open and his hands down at his sides, but he eventually kissed back and closed his eyes, placing his hands on Seth's waist.
Their kiss was short but sweet, and Seth tasted as good as Dean imagined. Dean was the first to pull away, both of them looking into each other's eyes as they tried to catch their breath. Seth had a sheepish grin on his face, but Dean's face stayed blank as his mind raced. He had just kissed another guy, when he has a boyfriend. He cheated on his boyfriend. He was just as bad as his ex. Probably worse since his feelings were involved, it wasn't just purely physical. It was emotional, and Dean thought that cheating on someone emotionally was so much worse than just physically cheating.
Dean pushed Seth away at that, then rushed to his room and closed and locked the door, ignoring Seth's protests. He sat on his bed, his head in his hands feeling like the shittiest person in the world. He just went against everything he believed in, he betrayed and potentially hurt the person he loved.
"Dean!" Seth jiggled the doorknob and banged his fist on the door. Dean continued to ignore him, rubbing the nape of his neck with two fingers, a habit he had that he only did when he was angry, nervous, or put under pressure. Right now, he was feeling all three plus other things. "Please Dean, talk to me. I'm sorry I kissed you! It was completely unnecessary and just made everything a lot worse. Just please let me in so we can talk." Seth pleaded. "It's just going to make things worse if we ignore each other."
Dean sighed, knowing Seth was right. He stood up and unlocked the door and opened it, sitting back down as Seth sat beside him.
"Don't be sorry about it." Dean said, him saying that since he enjoyed the kiss. He wished he could kiss Seth all day and keep him in his arms. He was so warm and comforting, Dean was addicted to Seth and they had only kissed once and they weren't even together. "I know I shouldn't have, but I liked it. A lot."
"I did too." Seth agreed.
"But we're seeing other people Seth! Do you know how wrong that is of us to say these things to each other? To do these things to each other? I feel like a complete shithead, and he doesn't deserve someone like me. He deserves so much better."
They sat in silence, Seth thinking about Dean's words. It really was wrong of them to do this, to do these things when they were seeing people.
"This sounds so incredibly wrong, but maybe we shouldn't tell them. Keep this secret between us so nothing bad happens."
Dean listened, and even though it was incredibly selfish and just downright horrible of them to do it, it sounded better than telling Seth and hurting him. He knew it would probably come back to bite him in the ass about it in the future, but he didn't want to deal with how much pain he would put Seth would put through right now. He was a selfish, cowardly person.
"Fine. Get out." Dean said coldly, seeing Seth almost flinch at his tone in the corner of his eye. Seth obliged, standing up and closing the door behind him loudly. Dean looked down at his clenched fist, wanting to punch something. He was so unhappy and frustrated with himself, but he didn't do anything. He only stripped down to his boxers and laid under the covers, staring up at the ceiling. His phone vibrated and he opened it, seeing a text from go figure, his boyfriend Seth.
Seth: i know we haven't talked in a few days, and i completely understand bc your job is slamming you. but just remember that i love you and always will, no matter what happens.
Dean grunted and threw his phone angrily on the floor, the battery flying out and the phone going somewhere else. Dean didn't care. He laid back down and closed his eyes, falling into a troubling slumber.
***
"Wait, so you kissed your roommate?" Roman asked, his eyes wide in disbelief.
"No, he kissed me. How many times do I have to say it?" Dean snapped, rubbing his temples.
"You kissed him back! I'm sorry, it's just, that's not like you." Roman said.
"I know. I'm a cheating piece of shit." Dean buried his face in his hands.
"Dean, it's fine. You only kissed, not like you two had sex or anything." Roman rubbed his back.
"I guess, but it probably would've gone that far if I hadn't started freaking out." Dean muttered.
"Well, then I guess it's good you reacted?" Roman threw his hands in the air. "I don't know what to tell you, Dean. You two kissed, you're keeping it from your online boyfriend."
"It's more than that. You might see kissing as harmless, but it means a shit ton to me. Plus, I've been cheated on before, so I know the feelings and pain you go through." Dean shook his head. "Seth doesn't deserve any of that, he's such an amazing person. But I went behind his back and did this. I don't deserve him, he deserves better."
They sat on Roman's couch in silence, an idea popping into Roman's head.
"Have you ever asked where he lived?" Roman asked.
"No, why?" Dean shrugged, wondering why Roman would ask a question like that.
"You don't know where the damn dude lives?! Shit, are you two even dating?"
"Yes asshole, we are dating! It's just never come up in our conversations." Dean shoved Roman's shoulder.
"And you never wanted to have just the tiniest idea of where he lived?" Roman shook his head in disbelief. "Dean, this guy could literally live in the same town as you! He could be your damn roommate for all you know."
"Seth is not my roommate. No chance."
"How do you know? You haven't met him, you don't know what he looks like, and you don't know where he lives." Roman explained. "Plus, they both have the same name.
"Roman, my boyfriend isn't my roommate. I can barely tolerate my roommate and I like my boyfriend. So, they're different people."
"How about you text Seth and just ask him where he lives, maybe ask him to meet up?" Roman suggested.
"Ask to meet up? Hell no!" Dean's voice got loud, Roman putting his hand on Dean's knee to calm him down.
"Hey, sorry to get you riled up there. Why don't you want to meet him?"
"Because, if we're too afraid to talk on the phone or even send pictures, why would we be okay with meeting up?"
"You two don't need to meet in private. You can meet at a coffee shop or something. Meet at the park."
"No, I can't." Dean felt his chest tighten at the idea.
"C'mon Dean, if your relationship with him is this serious, and if it's going to get any farther, you're going to need to face him."
"I can't face him after what happened with my roommate. The guilt is already eating me up just texting him like everything is fine, I couldn't handle it being face to face." Dean said.
"Then you two can talk it out. If he's understanding and good guy like you say he is, he'll forgive you and you can really improve your relationship."
"But what if he doesn't react the way I want him to? I don't expect him to react the way I want him to, but - fuck! Why is this so hard?" Dean stood up, and starting walking around the room.
"Dean, calm down. We don't even know where the guy lives." Roman stood up and stopped Dean's pacing, putting his hands on his shoulders. "How about you just ask where he lives to start?"
"...Fine." Dean pulled out his phone and opened it, going to his messages and texted Seth.
Dean: just wondering, but where do you live?
Dean showed the text to Roman, sending it after getting an approving nod from Roman.
"Good. Now we see if he'll answer." Roman sat back down, Dean joining him.
Dean's phone vibrated minutes later, Dean opening it and Roman leaning over his shoulder to read the text.
Seth: i live in ohio...
"He lives here in Ohio!" Dean exclaimed.
"Ask him what city!" Roman insisted, Dean quickly typing out a reply.
Dean: i live in ohio too! i actually live in stow.
Dean sent it and quickly got a notification, reading it.
Seth: youre kidding. i live in stow too.
"What did I tell you?" Roman smiled, pleased with himself.
"This is so surreal. Should I ask him to meet up?" Dean asked.
"Go for it, man." Roman nodded.
Dean: maybe we should meet up. like really soon
Seth: totally, when? im free this saturday.
"Should I do it?" Dean asked uncertainly.
"Yes! Do it!"
Dean: how about we meet at that park behind the car dealership? with the huge pond. we could walk around and feed the ducks
Seth: that'd be great. i cant believe im finally meeting you.
Dean: i know i cant believe it either
Seth: ok. it's official. ill meet you on the patio there, saturday at 3.
Dean: ok, see you there. love u
Seth: love you too.
"I'm really meeting him. My boyfriend." Dean smiled brightly, then frowning. "But I have to break up with him."
"Dean, you don't have to. Just tell him about what happened and you'll just have to leave it in his hands. Don't jump to conclusions, just take it one step at a time." Roman said.
"Okay." Dean sighed. "Thanks for pushing me, Rome. I wouldn't have ever made this step without you."
"It's nothing. What are brothers for?"
***
Dean stood in front of the mirror, straightening out his plaid shirt. Dean had actually tried to dress himself nicely, especially since he was about to meet his boyfriend. He had put on a plaid shirt he had gotten for special events and put on his nicest jeans, with his usual boots.
"You look nice." Seth appeared in his doorway. "Going to see someone?"
"I am actually." Dean shyly smiled. "Going to meet my boyfriend."
"Oh really?" Dean nodded excitedly. "I'm going to meet mine too. I actually have to get going, so you have fun."
"Wait!" Dean called after Seth, Seth turning around. "Buttoned or unbuttoned?"
"Unbuttoned for sure." Seth winked, then left without another word.
Dean's stomach churned when Seth winked, him feeling guilty all over again about the entire situation. He shook his head, focused on only meeting on the person he loved. He took a deep breath, and exited his room to get his keys and leave the apartment.
Dean climbed into his car and started it, starting to drive down the road. He couldn't stop thinking of what would happen when they would meet each other, how they would react, what Seth would look like, what he would smell like. Dean was just getting more giddy by the second, and he pressed on the gas a little more.
He arrived a few minutes later, since he only lived a few minutes from there, and he got out and locked the door. Dean started to walk down the path by the pond, seeing a few ducks running around and others swimming in the pond, under the blue sky and shining sun. As Dean got closer, he saw someone sitting at one of the picnic tables on the mini boardwalk built over the pond, Dean picking up his pace as he realized who that was. He had a huge grin on his face, almost running.
But Dean's running stopped and his smile disappeared off his face when he realized who that really was.
Seth?
Why was Dean's roommate here? He was supposed to meet his boyfriend here, not his unlikable but attractive roommate. Seth walked up to Dean, the same confused expression on his face as Dean's.
"Dean? What're you doing here?" Seth asked him.
"I'm here to meet my boyfriend." Dean answered. "What are you doing here?"
"I'm here to meet my boyfriend too." Dean looked at Seth for a minute, before it finally clicked.
"Son of a bitch." He hissed, face palming. How could have Dean been so stupid and naive, when his boyfriend had been living with him the entire time? Roman had even said something but Dean had brushed it off.
"What? What's wrong Dean?" Seth asked. Dean almost laughed at Seth, seeing that he still hadn't put two and two together.
"You don't realize this, Seth? We are the boyfriends." Dean shook his head. "We're fucking idiots."
"A-are you sure? This can't be true." Seth stuttered.
Dean took out his phone and texted Seth's number, Seth's phone sure enough vibrating.
Dean: enough to convince you, jackass?
Seth looked at his phone, then glared at Dean and then tapped on his phone and locked it. Dean's phone then vibrated, Dean looking at it to see a text from Seth.
Seth: get off your damn phone and kiss me idiot.
"Hey, I thought I was the corny one?" Dean smirked, then wrapped his arms around Seth's waist and kissed him, Seth wrapping his arms around Dean and kissing him back. This time, their kiss was filled with love and care, as they embraced each other. Seth pulled away from Dean first, not letting go of Dean as they stayed in each other's arms.
"I am not a fucking slob!" Dean ruined the moment, pulling away from the hug.
"Yes you are! You leave the kitchen a complete mess after you cook and you flood the bathroom after you shower!" Seth retorted.
"At least I don't hog the bathroom and turn all my white clothes pink!" Dean replied.
"You leave your laundry everywhere, and you literally forget everything and get distracted too easily! You almost blew up the apartment!"
"Whatever. Shut up." Dean shook his head, Seth smiling in triumph. "Let's just walk around the park and get to know each other and do that lovey dovey shit."
"Fine. You brought any bread?" Seth asked, referring to feeding the ducks.
"You took that seriously? Roman only gave me ideas." Dean shrugged.
"Was it Roman that got you to ask me out?" Seth asked.
"Yeah, and he even made the good ass call that you were the same person the entire time."
"Damn, Roman knows us better than we know each other." Seth clicked his tongue.
"Yeah, I know." Dean chuckled. "But since I know for sure you're my boyfriend, I expect a free gym membership and free drinks at the bar."
"Deal. And you decorate the apartment, since we can finally afford it."
"I have no problem with that." Dean pecked Seth's lips once more, taking his hand as they walked around and talked more. They were both huge idiots which they both acknowledged the entire time, but they were happy to be huge idiots together.