KARNA
I come out from my Palace earlier than usual. Ever since I reach Anga I haven't slept so much. Matter of fact I haven't been sleeping properly since I entered Kampiliya Palace. At first I spent the nights away imagining my dream life with her, now at the realisation of nightmare I am living in.
As I proceed with my Surya Narayan puja he bless me with his presence and starts telling things I don't quite understand.
"Take a good look at your Kingdom son, for you won't return anytime soon."
I keep my hands fold as I speak to him, "I don't understand Surya Dev. I am just going to Hastinapur as its time to visit the court. I will soon return, Hastinapur doesn't need me now. When they fight a war, I obviously with stand in front of my friend Duryodhaan."
Surya Dev stressed, "Putra! why do you always talk about war? There are so much more to a warriors life than war. War is the end. What about life? How about your life as a man? You have to build your personal life. "
I wanted to say there is no one to decorate my life but he continues.
"Your life will also be decorated. You just have put your ego, anger, hatred, loyalty towards the wrong person aside and let your heart take the steps. You are with your friend in the path of Adhaarma."
"Surya Dev, about my loyalty towards Duryodhaan, I will stand by his side but do teach me what needs to be done so we walk the path of Dhaarma. But if you are telling be to put my anger towards Arjun aside, he already closed the the door of peace." I reply, not looking up.
"What Arjun did will affect Arjun's life, what you do will affect yours. When you are in Hastinapur don't let your ego make you stop from following Dhaarma this time." With this Surya Dev vanishes, not giving me a chance to say anything else?
I wonder if I have been doing a lot of Adhaarma that Surya Dev always says 'this time'.
DRAUPADI
Ever since we reached Hastinapur, I've been busy meeting a lot of family member, Bramhin and Kings and Queens who visited for the celebration. My life as a wife has not started yet, I have a lot of rituals to complete and a lot of penance to do so that the brothers won't have to live a sanyasi life.
"Who do you think is the most handsome, Maharani?" Malini ask. Malini followed me from Kampilya. I first met her when Shikhandi jiji brought her to my room and said, "Draupadi, I cannot be the sister you need right now, so I bought you a companion. She will be a great friend." She is the longest I have known here but she sure have a lot to ask.
"Who is the most handsome among them?" She ask sitting on the rug, placing her chin on the bed.
I lay down on back and answer, "All are. Yuvraj Yudhistir is handsome like calm breeze. Rajmukar Bheem is handsome like a storm, Rajkumar Arjun is handsome like rain, Rajkumar Sahdev is handsome like Vedas and Rajkumar Nakul is handsome like forest."
"It seems Mahadev has given you the most handsome princes." She laughs.
But I almost had the most handsome one, the one with the golden glow, who is as mysterious and handsome as the sea. Yet warm as the Sun. Who is not mine.
"And Maharaj Pandu's sons are the best too. And the promises they gave you was something any Princess or Queen would be jealous of." Malini likes them a lot.
I feel bad thinking about Karna while my husbands have promised me that none of their other wives would stay in our palace. I will be the wife of only one of them every year. Whenever one of them becomes king, I will be the queen. Our marriage life is yet to be started but Arya Putra Yudhistir said we will start it after he becomes Yuvraj again. They said they cannot bring me from being a Maharaj Kumari to Queen. They said I should be Samragyini Draupadi. Empress of all. 'I am going to hell.' I think to myself.