SUMMER
My entire body gives up as soon as Madame Daisy turns off the music after six and a half hours of intense training. My ass hits the floor and I lean my back against the white wall, feeling like I'm about to throw up. My body feels on fire and I do my best to ignore it. I'm the last one to leave the studio- Madame lets everyone go early, except me because she believes in me and apparently- I can do more. I probably can, but dancing seven days a week, six to eight hours per day without even a break it's exhausting. You might think I'd be used to this by now, given I've been doing this since I was a toddler but nope, my entire body feels like it's on fire.
My gaze follows Madame Daisy as she unties her blonde hair, soft curls falling down her back after she brushes it with her hands. She's wearing yoga pants and a tank top, like she always is. I admire her, really.
She's in her mid thirties and looks like someone my age. Daisy Silvers goes to the gym every morning, two hours a day to keep that figure. I know that because she makes me follow the same routine she does, but as I'm getting my career, I go to the gym after my classes.
"Tired?" her voice echoes in the empty and quiet studio.
I shake my head. "I'm fine." I lie. I'm trying really hard to tell my heart to calm down, it feels like it's about to burst out of my chest.
Madame Daisy chuckles, locking her hazel eyes on me. "I'm really proud of you, Summer. You have real talent- you're going to take over the world, you know that, right?"
I don't know if I want that, I want to say but instead I nod and she keeps going. "Dancing is your life. This is your life. I'm only doing all of this because of you. I want to see you at the top of the world just like I was. You deserve that. You're going to be a mini-me." she kneels in front of me and her lips curve into a creepy smile.
"Lock the door when you leave, okay? And try to stop eating so many carbs, you have a costume to fit in, you're getting fat." she wrinkles her nose, looking down at my body and I feel my cheeks heating up.
She leaves me completely alone in the dance studio and I look at the floor-to-ceiling mirrors, checking my figure. Do I look fat? Have I put on weight? I don't think so. I shouldn't have. I don't even remember the last time I ate real food.
I stand up, placing my bag over my shoulder and taking a sip of my water bottle as I keep staring at the mirror. I look nice- I know I'm beautiful and I'm perfect, in some way but somehow Madame Daisy's words make an impact in my brain distorting my own view. I let my hair fall down my back, making it dance with my waves curls. I don't remember the last time I danced with my hair down.
I can't figure it out when was the last time I had fun dancing and didn't feel like I'm dying.
My body burns- I can't feel my feet and as much as I used to love this pain... Right now it feels uncomfortable. The clock on my smartwatch says it's six thirty pm, I've been here since noon after my three classes.
I make my way to the park across the street after closing the studio. Madame gave me my own key just in case I wanted to come and dance, whenever I liked. I hug myself with my winter coat, feeling the breeze freezing up my face and legs. People come and go in front of me and I like that no one is paying attention to me. I sit down under a tree, a little away from all the people and I hug my legs to my chest, feeling kind of small and alone.
I should be making my way to the gym next door instead of stopping to rest. Having time to rest is not in my vocabulary. You can sleep at night! Madame's voice fills my brain making me shake my head to tune it down.
I settle in, crossing my legs on the cold and wet grass but I'm too tired to care. I look up at the sky with a long sigh, the shades of purple and pink are blending together, creating a breathtaking sight for me. I'd take a picture but I don't want to miss it. The sun is hiding behind a cloud, welcoming the night and I don't make an attempt to leave. I need a little bit of peace in my life and also, it doesn't feel like I can stand up. If I do, I'll fall and that's going to be embarrassing.
I open my bag, pulling out a book and a protein bar and I put it between my teeth. I try not to moan at the flavor in my mouth but it's almost impossible. This is my first meal in more than twenty four hours, if someone's listening they can mind their own business.
I swallow down the first bite and I immediately grab my water bottle, it's a force of habit at this point.
Just as I'm about to open my book-a romance comedy, thank you very much- I hear someone clearing their throat. Glancing up, I find the girl who's been in my mind for the past two weeks standing right in front of me.
Jade-green eyes look down at me through long lashes and I take her in. Her long brown hair is pulled back into a messy ponytail, her face dotted with soft freckles the sunlight makes them shine, her expression is almost shy. She's wearing a white oversized hoodie and some sweatpants like she just got out of bed like that- but she looks beautiful. She is beautiful. She was even beautiful when she yelled at me for not wanting to help her, and for the first time in two weeks, she's standing in front of me.
"Hey," her voice fills my ears, I notice she's holding her hands together and her cheeks are red- she's... nervous.
I tilt my head, narrowing my eyes at her. "Uh... hi?"
"Hey." she says again and I raise my brows, trying to repress a smile. "Hi. Sorry. I'm... can we talk?"
"I don't know. Are you going to yell at me again?"
She's taken aback with my response but simply sighs and shakes her head. "No. No, I won't. I just want to talk about the, uh... the showcase. I saw you said yes to Queens."
I nod. "I did, I said yes. Two weeks ago."
Willow parts her lips to say something but she shuts her mouth when those green eyes land on my lap- on my book. "Are you reading Falling into deep?"
My gaze immediately falls to my book, feeling my cheeks turn pink. I hold it up in my hand and move it around. "Uh. Yes. It's my, uh.. my favorite book."
"Oh. I love that book. I've read it, like, two months ago. It's great. I don't have the physical book but I've read it on my phone and I finished it in one night- I love that author, she has such good books. Have you read the series? I'm trying to but it's like a seven series book and I do not have enough time to read seven books. I'm on the third one, which is that one- but you know that, you just said it's your fav-"
"Willow." I interrupt her and she stops abruptly. I bite my bottom lip to keep myself from smiling. She's adorable. "I could talk about this book for days but you didn't come to talk to me about books, right? How did you find me here anyway?"
"I've been looking for you since yesterday if I'm being honest and today... got lucky, I guess. I was just going to get some food." She takes a deep breath, her eyes find mine and I find myself unable to look away. I've never seen such beautiful eyes. "Can I sit? Are you busy?"
"You can, but you're probably going to get dirty and I don't have much time. I'm having dinner and then I gotta get to the gym." my nose wrinkles when she sits down anyway, in front of me. I'm suddenly hit with the smell of vanilla, making me feel subconscious about myself. I've been dancing for five hours straight, I'm pretty sure I don't smell like flowers.
"Oh. I'm sorry. Is someone waiting for you for dinner? I can find you later."
I shake my head before she can leave. "No. No, I'm having dinner." I show her my protein bar and she narrows her eyes at me.
"Is that... Is that all you're having?" her voice is almost a whisper but I hear her anyway.
I hate the look she's giving me. Like pity and something I can't name, so I shake my head and a nervous laugh escapes my lips. "No, I, uh... I'll have dinner with my sister after the gym."
"Oh." she raises her brows. "That's, um... great. That's great." her eyes close for a second as she shakes her head, like she's erasing a thought. "Okay, I just wanted to find you because... I wanted to say I'm sorry."
"Seems like all you do around me is apologize." I try to joke and then press my lips together. "You don't have to. You were hurt and I... I understand."
"I still didn't have a reason to take it out on you. I don't know you, and you don't know me. You had your reasons to say no as well as I had my reasons to say yes." her voice is soft, calm, almost like a melody to my ears but I notice her hands are shaking. "I don't want you to feel obligated to do this because of what I said... I don't want you to do this because you feel sorry for me."
I immediately shake my head. "I'm not," I promise and she looks at me like I'm lying. "I'm really not. I... Mila, my friend-you've met her, she convinced me to sign up for the dance classes saying we should try something new- well, not something but somewhere new. We wanted to do something outside the Academy and I said yes because I really needed a change. Mila's mom, professor Queens-" she gasps and I chuckle at her reaction. "I know. Shocking. She told us we should do this. Do something new, that is not performing in front of thousands of people. She said I'll have the freedom I'm searching if I do this and... I don't know, I just signed up. For me, but also... for you? I guess."
Willow listens to me like I'm telling the best story in the world. Her face softens and I can't help but nothing how beautiful she looks under the sunlight, under the beautiful sunset above us.
I've always appreciated pretty girls- I knew I liked girls when I was thirteen. I had my first crush in secondary school. I remember thinking she's very pretty, I want to be her best friend.
Turns out, I wanted more than to be just her best friend. I talked to my moms, scared that those feelings were happening to me. Of course, none of them made such a big deal out of it, I mean, I have two moms! But they were happy that I trusted them enough to tell them. It was on my mom's birthday, I remember my big sister making a joke about them turning the birthday party into a coming out party.
I've never did anything about the girl I had a crush on because it turned out the girl was homophobic and made my life a little harder when the rumors about me being a lesbian started to spread out but I had my sister with me, she was like my angel guardian at school- until she left for college, and everything changed.
"Summer?" Willow's voice fills my ears and I immediately blush, lowering my head when I notice I've been staring at her.
Clearing my throat, I say. "I'm sorry. What did you say?"
I hear her chuckle and I tuck a stray hair behind my ear. "Nothing. Just thank you for doing this. I know you're busy so I'll just adjust to your schedule. You let me know when you can and I... I'll make it work." I see the hesitation in her eyes and I wonder why, but I don't know her enough to ask.
"I'm free almost every night. Expect Fridays. On Fridays I-" go to my moms and we have family game night with the Johnson family, I want to say but why would she care? "I just can't on Fridays but then, I'm free. At night."
She hesitates a second. "Only at night?"
I hum, nodding. "I have classes in the mornings and then I leave to the Academy."
"Oh." her brows raise. "What about Sundays? or Saturdays?"
"Well, I'm free after three pm those days." god, it sounds lame how I literally have no life outside the academy. "We can meet at my house, if you want- I don't mind. We have a room soundproofed. My mom is a music producer so she has her own space there but I'm sure she's fine if we use it."
Green eyes go wide. "Your mom is a music producer?!"
I chuckle. "Uh, yeah." she doesn't know who my mom is? That's... new.
"Holy shit. That's so cool." her whole face lights up and my heart melts. "But- are you sure? we can meet at the library or the park- jeez, even my dorm."
My nose wrinkles. "You have to write a song and I have to make an entire choreography out of that song- I think we might need privacy and quiet for that." I chuckle. "But it's fine. Whatever feels comfortable for you."
"Do you always offer to take home a stranger you just met?" she tries to joke, I can tell she's nervous and I wonder if I did wrong inviting her to my house.
We don't know each other but I can't go out in public more than twenty minutes without at least one paparazzi trying to get my picture, and I've learned that the hard way but instead of saying that, I smile at her and shake my head.
"We have a whole project to do and win. I'm sure they'll understand."
She sighs, nodding her head and I notice the way her eyes are sparkling. "Win," she whispers. "We are going to win."
"Yup. That's the plan." my phone rings in my hand, and we both turn our heads to the sound.
Madame Daisy: Have you gone to the gym yet? Don't forget! One step closer to becom... the notification bar only shows so much and my heart drops to my stomach.
Does she have a tracker on my phone or something?
I sigh loudly, locking my phone so Willow can't read the message but I'm sure she did. Our eyes meet again, she softens her gaze to me and I try to hide my embarrassment drinking from my water bottle. "I'm sure you're busy. We can talk about it later. I could leave you my number so we can make a plan."
I swallow loudly, my heart feeling heavy because our time has come to an end. I unlock my phone and I give it to her so she writes her number. She saves herself as Willow James and then we both stand up, she's a little bit taller than me so I look up to find her eyes. "I'll text you."
"Great." she hesitates. "I'll, uh... see you later, Summer and once again, I'm sorry about the other day."
I run a hand through my hair, shaking my head. "Don't worry about it. It's fine." I give her a soft smile.
"Right." she presses her lips together. "I'll just... uh, go."
I don't want to go to the gym. I'm tired. I'm hungry. I'm exhausted but somehow, I don't want to go because I don't want this interaction to end. I wanna keep talking to her but my phone rings again.
Madame Daisy: Remember, you're perfect but we'd like to keep it that way! See you tomorrow.
"Yeah." I whisper to the girl in front of me. "Yes. Me too."
I don't say anything else as I start making my way across the street. I don't turn around but somehow I feel her intense gaze on me. The huge sign with flickering lights saying Vancouver Dance Academy almost mocks at me when I enter the building next door and I force myself to keep training.
This is my life.