Client: MaryPnkl
Reviewer: Lady-of-ink
"Poor in heaven/ The Lake Club" by MaryPnkl tells the love story between Mary Jane Smith and Felix Taylor, who apparently hate each other.
The first thing I would like to say is that I like the idea. It seems one with a lot of potential and, my favorite troupe, enemies to lovers. However, after reading a few chapters, I didn't manage to feel that Mary-Jane and Felix were enemies. While the author is good at describing the scenes, the characters' emotions aren't shown to us. I think show don't tell is the most important thing in a book. While I understand why Mary-Jane doesn't like Felix, I don't feel that she hates him. We are told she hates him, but we aren't shown.
The second thing is that I don't understand how it works with the title. Why are there two titles? I couldn't understand that. I suggest only keeping one. The blurb seems fine to me. I also like the cover and I think it's attractive.
I don't know exactly how original this story is. Enemies to lovers in the Middle Age... It's been done so many times. However, the author adds a lot of original things to their book. I like the idea that Mary-Jane and Felix will be forced to spend more time together in London.
I also liked the dynamic of the two families. It was definitely interesting. Mary-Jane also seems like an intriguing character. I haven't seen too much about her yet, but she is definitely interesting. Felix is rather mysterious, and I haven't been able to understand hus character yet. I also liked the sisters and cousins and their relationships.
I don't feel the plot is rushed. It also doesn't feel slow to me. There are so many things that can happen, so I feel the author isn't rushing into the story.
I haven't seen a lot of grammatical mistakes. However, I've seen a few repetitions. I suggest rereading the chapters before publishing them to look for repetitions and other mistakes. We don't notice them when we are writing sometimes. Or the author could ask someone else to read them and inform them if any mistakes are found.
In conclusion, "Poor in heaven" is an interesting story set in the Middle Ages, with compelling characters and an intriguing plot.