As soon as Tav had said it, they knew it was a mistake. "It's not so bad, you know." they pull away suddenly and their hands fly to their hair, smoothing imagined fly aways. They begin to pace. "The palace, it's comfortable! The spawn... Kyus and Elhorn, they have every comfort imaginable. So do I." They have to fix this. Tav can feel Jahiera's eyes following them but they don't meet them. "We have mortal servants that dote on our every whim. The others, they're just to keep us safe. Strong. Two vampires in the city? Without a coven? We'd be sitting ducks for the first monster hunter with dreams of grandeur!" Tav is shouting and waving their hands.
Jeheira rolls her eyes and now she's shouting too. "My gods, child, do you not hear yourself?" She advances on Tav, not the least intimidated. Tav put their hands between them, as if to ward her off. "You truly are his spawn. You dress like him, you speak like him, and now you act like him too."
Jaheria is shaking her head. What hurts more, the disappointment or the revulsion? Both are clear and burning as daylight on her face mere inches from Tav's own. The panic is building again, radiating like ice from their fingertips and crawling, clawing, deeper in and up their body. Tav tries to step back but it's like they collide with a wall. Tav shoots a look over their shoulder. The sea, running water. There is no retreat. "You just don't understand." Tav's voice is quiet again, all the fight sapped from them. "He's just trying to keep us safe."
"I didn't come to fight you, Tav, but this" Jaheira gestures at Tav "it's not healthy... and I'm not the only one who worries for you." Tav groans. They remember the look that had passed between Karlach and Wyll, how quickly they had ushered them on even though Tav would have stayed there all evening. "I remember who you were." Tav can't hold Jaheira's intense gaze and looks down. "You were all spunk and fire. You cared about everyone, even those who didn't deserve it."
Tav can guess who she means. No. They won't hear this. A muscle flexes in Tav's jaw and they glare into the sand. Asatrion was right. This was a bad idea. They should never have come.
Jeheria can see this will not go further. She sighs and pats Tav's stiff shoulder. Tav still won't look at her. "Very well, cub." she looks back towards the party "The night is still young. Take a break and then rejoin the party. We've all missed you." She looks at Tav one more time. "Turns out you are a very difficult person to get a hold of."
Tav watches Jahera turn and leave, returning to the glow of the fire and music. She waves to Gale and they both continue to the refreshments and out of sight. Tav groans and turns toward the sea. They lift a hand and push against the invisible but impermeable barrier that prevents them getting any closer to the water. It doesn't move and Tav pushes harder. Nothing happens of course and Tav balls up their fist with a growl and slams their knuckles against it, punching again and again.
Their knuckles bruise then split. "Gods damn it!" Tav curses and flings their empty goblet at the wall only for it to sail through and land in the surf with a splash. Tav drops to their knees, head bowed and hands limp in the sand. It was all too much. This party was supposed to be a relaxing break. A chance to get away from the constant bickering at home with Astarion. Of course I'd ruin this too. What don't I spoil? They lift their eyes and stare out at the dark water. Stars sparkle on the surface warping and dancing with the waves.
Asatrion was keeping their friends away. Tav is sure now he must have been the one to lose the letters from Karlach and Wyll, and Kyus and Elhorn wouldn't turn away a guest unless Astrion had bidden it. Guilt seizes Tav again. The fucking spawn. That's when things started to go bad, when the tiefling woman had joined them four months ago. That was when everything went downhill.
-
Tav had been lounging in the drawing room. They were stretched across a velvet chaise lounge, a book in one hand held open with their thumb. The fireplace roared though it was midsummer, Tav missed being warm. The windows were blocked out with heavy drapes and tall bookshelves obscured them further. Still, tav could hear the rain slapping against the glass. There were other sounds too, a mouse somewhere in the walls, the servants stepping lightly, always out of sight. It was calm, comfortable and charmed if a bit lonely.
There was a deep creek from the direction of the entryway and Tav lowered their book. Astarion had returned. "Welcome back, Mas-" the butler's genteel voice cut out. "By the gods, what have you done?" Tav shot up, their book had fallen forgotten to the floor.
"Well don't just stand there, help or get out of the way." there was a shuffling sound. Tav ripped the door to the drawing room open and leaned over the banister looking down into the foyer. The elderly butler was ushering someone hidden under a cloak quickly through the door to the unused kitchens, a trail of mud followed them. Astarion was just removing his coat like nothing odd had happened. He checked his hair in the mirror.
"Astarion!" Tav called, concern had laced their voice and he looked up at them.
He smiled winningly and pushed the door closed with a foot. It slammed closed and the gray light that had illuminated a rectangle in the entry was extinguished. Tav crossed the walkway to the stairs that had been blocked by even that paltry light and ran down the stairs to meet him. Tav held his hands and examined his face. He didn't look hurt. "What happened? Who was that?" They had turned towards the kitchens with the last question.
Asarion grabbed their chin gently and redirected Tavs eyes back to him. "Nothing and no one, my darling."
"Well, that was somebody!" Tav exclaimed, pointing at the muddy tracks on the rug that ran the length of the hall. "And even Harold sounded like something was wrong."
"It's a surprise." Astarion chided. He rolled his eyes and began walking away in the direction of their rooms. Tav hurried behind him. "Oh well, between you and that old busy body I suppose that's been ruined." he smirked.
Tav pursed their lips as they entered their shared rooms. "So then you'll explain what this is about?"
"No, you'll just have to stew in the anticipation, darling. Perhaps you'll learn some patience." He had grinned mischievously and Tav had shaken their head with a smile of their own. How could they ever stay mad at him?
"I'm just glad you're ok. I thought something bad had happened." Tav pulled him into an embrace which he reluctantly accepted. His doublet scratched against Tav's cheek and his perfume filled their nose.
"My silly, simple, pet." he smoothed Tav's hair. "Nothing can hurt me."
-
"Is this a bad time?" A soft voice has snuck up on Tav. They shrug. Shadowheart doesn't wait for a better answer and sits next to them. The sand crunches under her weight and she pulls off her shoes. Shadowheart places her feet in the water. "That's much better. These heels are fine in Waterdeep but out here..." she smiles ruefully. Tav doesn't say anything, still staring out at the waves.
Tav looks at Shadowheart. Her hair is less severe these days. It falls in a loose plait down her back. Now she is the one not returning eye contact and she studies the horizon as Tav had a moment ago. The stars and moon reflect in her eyes. "I was going to come say hi to you and Gale I just..." Her dress is light and shifts with the breeze. Tav sighs and looks back at the water again. "Got sidetracked."
Shadowheart doesn't move. "I saw. It looked quite heated."
"I don't want to talk about it." Tav warns.
"Then I won't ask." Shadowheart keeps looking at the waves. "Would you like to hear about what we have been doing in Waterdeep?"
Tav nods. They grip the damp sand in their uninjured hand allowing it to crumble back through their fingers. "We have a house, near Black staff. I keep a garden with night orchids and vegetables." Tav starts to relax a little. Shadowheart grins "I also have adopted a good deal of pets. The first was the owlbear cub. Though they aren't much of a cub anymore."
"Are they here?" Tav perks up.
"Of course! Scratch too." Shadowheart looks over her shoulder "But they seem to have wandered off for now. I'm sure they'll come back after they finish sniffing." She laughs and turns to face Tav.
Tav is relieved "It seems so silly but I was worried about them, you know." They shake their head at their own foolishness. "I kept picturing them wandering Baldur's Gate alone. There were so many nights I nearly snuck out to look for them. I should have known you would take them in." Tav smiles. "Thank you, Shadowheart."
"Of course." Shadowheart waves the thanks away. The conversation pauses and Tav can hear the cricket song around them and further away the music from the party. "Do you want me to heal that?"
Tav blinks then looks down at the hand they had beaten against the water barrier. "Oh... uh, no." they say without conviction "It's my own fault. I was being stupid."
Shadowheart rolls her eyes. "Maybe so, but that doesn't mean you should suffer. Besides, it'll be easy. Here." She holds out her hands expectantly. Tav places their hand in Shadowheart's. "Te Curo'' There's a flash of bluish light and the split skin knits neatly back together and the ache in Tav's wrist recedes. Tav leans back again gently flexing their fingers, testing the mend.
"Thank you, again." Tav says and Shadowheart shrugs.
"Don't mention it."
"I wasn't sure that would work actually." Tav says still examining the faint lines left where the flesh reconnected. "I assumed it was the tadpole that allowed healing magic to work on me after I turned, and there hasn't really been a chance to experiment since we all split up." Tav feels the melancholy sneaking back in but they push it away.
"There's undead and there's undead." Shadowheart says. "There's the undead like you and Astarion. Your bodies are frozen at the moment of your death, and there's the others, ghouls, zombies and the rest, who's bodies continue to rot around them until they are nothing but dust."
Tav grimaces "Nasty, but I guess that makes sense. How do you know that?"
"I've been doing more than planting flowers and petting dogs since my retirement." she snorts. "Gale is a professor at Blackstaff academy, and he turns a blind eye to me pursuing their library." She looks meaningfully at Tav. "I've been learning all I can on vampirism, and how to reverse it."