As I smoothed down my dress, I began to think about the course of Justin and I's relationship. For starters the fact that I have to hide it from the one person I should not have to hide it from is exhausting. I'm constantly making excuses for why I am late or for why I don't come home at all. Most of the time I just want to tell her, "I'm dating Justin, so what?" But I know there is also a part of me that is too chicken to do so. I wish she would just find out so I can be over with it. But if she finds out she'll probably get extremely mad so maybe it's best she doesn't find out. Yet she'll have to know eventually. What if Justin wanted to marry me?
I giggled thinking about Justin asking me to be his wife. Him marriage material? I don't quite think so. Justin asking me to be his wife is almost as comical as seeing pigs fly. Pigs flying is funny because they are so fat so like how would they fly gracefully? I laughed a little harder and then pouted in the mirror. I need to stay focused. I'm meeting Justin's family for goodness sakes!
I don't understand why I'm so nervous. They are just parents like any other person's parents. Yet, not really because they are Justin's parents. Surely someone who made such a perfect specimen as Justin has to be a little scary I'm sure. After a long sigh, I grabbed my purse and headed out of my bedroom, closing the door behind me.
"Kasey? Hey, I can't find my leopard panties that you bought me," Jace complained as she threw things around in the living room.
I blushed because I have those on right now. I bought them for her but she told me she hated them and I figured I needed to wear my womanly underwear ever since last night's little incident with the little monkey underwear. I shuddered, lost in the horror.
"It has to be around here somewhere!" I responded, heading for the front door, my hand on the handle.
"Where you going?" she asked, sticking her head up from behind the couch, her red hair wild around her face.
"Oh, I have a dinner function to attend about my log."
"Ooh, can I come? I would love to meet some rich and ambitious people." She smiled, standing up, eyes blazing with excitement.
"No!" I yelled. I cleared my throat, smiling. "I mean no you can't because it's invitation only. It's at the person's house there aren't enough seats at the dinner table. But next time, sure."
Cocking her head to the side, Jace narrowed her eyes, saying, "I think you're up to something and I swear to you, Kasey, I will find out."
"Um, okay..." I snorted and then I was out the door.
Justin exited his apartment at the exact time I did and matching grins spread across our faces. I never get tired of seeing him as if it were the first time I was ever seeing him.
"You ready for this?" Justin asked, pressing for the elevator.
I wrapped my arms around his waist and leaned my head up against his shoulder. "Yes I am."
"Good." He kissed the top of my head.
"I think you look really nice in plum, by the way," Justin appraised with one hand on the steering wheel and the other on my exposed left knee.
I bit my lip and looked to see him smiling while he drives. It's weird to think that my presence alone makes him somehow happy. I never thought that I could make someone so happy just by existing, yet I do every day when I'm with Justin.
I chose to wear a knee length plum dress with a faux fur black coat that stops at the waist. On my feet I have on classic black pumps, and my hair is curled to hang down my back. I kept my makeup simple and my bag tiny, carrying just the essentials.
Justin is wearing a white button down, his chest exposed for he didn't button the top three buttons. His pants are basic black slacks and his hair is perfectly tousled.
With my free hand, I adjusted his hair so that it was no longer in his eyes. "Thank you, you look nice as always." He squeezed my knee and then pulled up into the driveway of one of the nicest homes I have ever seen.
The driveway was made of cobblestone, in the middle a little pond. Justin opened his car door and stepped out, walking around to open my door, taking my hand. I let him lead me out of the car and I looked up at the marvelous house.
"Wow," I whispered, breathless.
The outside is lit up with beautiful orange light, tall plants on each side of the door. A balcony emerges in the middle of the home and there seems to be plenty of windows encasing the place. Justin laced his fingers with mine and a doorman smiled, opening the door for us.
"Welcome home, Justin." He smiled.
"Thank you, York." Justin nodded at him and then we were inside. The den is incredible with windows all along the back, giving a view of the pool and the pool house. All the colors are homey and light, making one feel at home, at ease. The kitchen followed the same theme.
"Welcome to my abode." Justin squeezed my hand. "It's seventeen thousand square feet with a weight room, pool house, deck, office, theater room, breakfast nook, sitting area that no one uses, and a huge backyard. Plus the staff along with a home security system. Want to see how it works?"
I nodded, amazed by everything I am seeing.
Justin walked up to the kitchen's security monitor and said, "Igloo, who is this standing next to me?"
"Unidentified suspect, please wait," the monitor responded. I gasped. Holy crap! "This would be Kasey, your girlfriend. Now identified and stored."
"Thank you, Igloo." Justin turned back around to face me. "Cool, right?"
"Whoa, it's like in the movies!"
"I know." He laughed.
A staff member dressed in all black came to ask for my coat and I complied, letting him take it. He disappeared as quickly as he had come.
"Do you know any of your staff?" I asked, looking up at him.
Justin ran a hand through his hair, thinking. "Not anymore. When I was a kid I only had the staff and my sister to talk to. My parents weren't ever really around. Too busy making money to keep up with this big house. But when I moved out for college to do architecture, my parents replaced the majority of the staff. The only one I know that is left is Ms. Brown. She practically raised me. She's great. In fact, you need to meet her, come on." He grabbed my hand again and led me to a sitting area, where an older black woman was sitting, sewing something.
"Hey, Ms. Brown," Justin greeted softly.
Ms. Brown dropped what she was doing and quickly stood up to envelop Justin in a loving hug that had so much warmth my eyes teared up.
"Oh, Justin, you're so handsome, look atcha' just as tall as you can be. I remember when you were a little boy all gangly and nothing but hair and limbs. Well, you're still all hair but now you have muscles and some skin on ya. Oh, it's been so long." She kissed his cheek and then her eyes landed on me. "Who is that?"
Laughing, Justin replied, "That's my girlfriend Kasey."
"Girlfriend?" she screeched, pushing Justin aside to get a better look at me.
She's tall and all woman, her graying hair tied up in a fancy braided bun. She's wearing an apron with slip on shoes. Her brown skin is a little wrinkled and really smooth, her gray eyes crinkled in on the edges. Walking over to me, Ms. Brown turned me around by my shoulders, inspecting me.
"Hm, good choice. So, how did you meet?" She smiled at me.
Wait, she approves already? "Um, well we live across the hall from each other."
"This is Jace? I thought you hated Jace?" She frowned.
"No, this is Kasey, her roommate," Justin inserted.
"Ah, I see. She is lovely. Welcome, Kasey."
"Thank you," I whispered, blushing against the warm smile she is showering me with.
Justin winked at me before saying, "Check out her butt though, Mimi."
"I know, I saw. White girls got booty now. It's about time."
Justin threw back his head and laughed and I shook my head. What is even happening right now? Justin and Ms. Brown talked amongst themselves, and I fiddled with my hands, thinking about how amazing Justin's childhood must have been despite his parent's displacement in his life.
Before I knew it, Justin's hands were covering mine which seemed to be a pattern with us. "What's wrong, baby?" he asked, voice soft, eyes lined with concern.
"Nothing," I whispered, giving him a smile.
"Kasey..." He raised an eyebrow, demanding I tell him.
"Just I don't like how your parents weren't ever in your life. And I think you have been a victim of autodidactism and that's why you haven't ever had a woman in your life. Which, if you think about it is highly unfair because you didn't choose to be an autodidact."
With his head cocked to the side, Justin said, "So you're trying to tell me that I have taught myself everything I know today?"
"Yeah, I mean sure Ms. Brown was there but she didn't really have all the time to raise you. You are also experiencing Parental Alienation Syndrome as well which is terrifying and hard to get rid of. That will only take massive amounts of time."
"What is that?"
"When you feel hatred and resentment towards your parents because one parent tried to turn you against the other and vice versa."
"Um..."
"I don't know it just makes me sad. I wish you had a normal upbringing yet I don't mind the man you are today so I guess I'm torn."
After a long sigh, Justin squeezed my hands and looked me in the eyes. "Kasey, please stop trying to analyze my life. You're not a psychiatrist."
"I know I'm just-"
"Please don't, alright?"
I clamped my lips down shut and Justin's jaw went hard as he let go of my hands, stepping away from me. Oops, I pressed a button that was not meant to be pressed. Embarrassed, I turned away as well, fiddling with my hands so hard that they turned bright red.
"No, Kasey, I didn't mean to be mean I just-"
"It's my fault; I didn't mean to pressure you into talking about your life I just wanted you to know how I felt which was wrong."
Justin turned me around by my shoulders and covered his hand with mine, squeezing tight. I felt the warmth of his hands encase my entire body and I sighed, looking down at my feet.
"Don't feel that you can't tell me how you feel. I honestly don't like to talk about my family. I don't want you to meet them because I don't want you to know how horrible they can be. This dinner is a disaster." His eyebrows pulled in together with worry.
"Then let's go, we don't have to have dinner with your family if you're not ready. We can go to McDonalds and order a bunch of large fries." I smiled and Justin's face lit up with happiness.
"You're the best, Kasey." He leaned down to kiss my cheek, leading me out of the room and to the front door.
"Justin, you made it just in time," a feminine voice said from behind us.
Justin's hand tightened on the door handle till his knuckles were pale white. I turned around to find a tall woman with long and shiny dark hair framed around her shoulders, her eyes blazing, and her attire professional and crisp.
"Ah, I was just leaving, actually." Justin yanked me to his side and I gasped, looking back at the woman.
She threw back her head and laughed so gracefully it could be in a commercial ad. "Don't be that way. We have a very lovely dinner planned for the both of you, on me." She smiled, exposing her pearly whites.
"No thank you, I have work to do-"
"I'm sure the precious buildings can wait. Come to dinner. I insist." Her voice grew hard there at the end and I shuddered.
"I'd be delighted," Justin said, his voice tight with tautness.
I feel like I walked into a sauna, it's so sticky with tension in here. With a smile, Justin placed a hand on the small of my back and led me into the dining room. The woman eyed me the entire way there.
The dining room is beautifully set up and Justin pulled out a chair for me to take a seat in and I gave him a grateful smile that he didn't return, instead pushing my chair in and sitting down next to me. I placed a hand on top of his clenched one and he looked over at me, face scrunched up.
"It's okay," I whispered.
"You don't know my family."
Milly walked in, her dress electric blue, her silver heels high. She for the first time in all of my life was not smiling, and she walked over to Justin to place a hand over his free one.
"Justin, please, I'm sorry. She saw the magazine and demanded to know who Kasey was and I'm sorry. I didn't mean for this to happen," she whisper hissed in a panic.
"Just please get out of my sight," he growled, not even sparing her a glance.
"Justin, please, I swear to you." Her eyes filled with tears, and her bottom lip quivered. He didn't respond and she eventually sulked to her seat across from Justin, sinking down into the seat.
A man that looked like an older and colder version of Justin walked in and took a seat at the head of the table. The woman walked in after him, a cold smile on her face.
"Ethan, what a pleasure for you to think you can sit in my chair." She gave a curt nod to Milly who nodded in return and then her eyes went back to Ethan.
He let loose a low chuckle, leaning back in the chair. "Well, Ellen, for a long time it's been a pleasure for you to think you can do whatever you want whenever you want to with whomever you want. But, to each their own, hm?"
Ellen's face flushed and she laughed. "Girls run the world, haven't you heard?" Without another word, she sat down at the other end of the table, crossing her legs. "Where are your manners, Justin? Haven't we raised you better than this? Introduce us." She winked at me and I forced myself to smile despite how awkward this dinner was.
Snorting, Justin said, "I wasn't aware that you raised me at all, but, Kasey this is my birth giver, Ellen, and my birth giver's assistant, Ethan. Aren't they lovely?" He grinned sardonically and I swallowed, hard. I've never seen him like this and it's absolutely terrifying.
"Hi." I waved and Ellen rolled her eyes.
"You've always been one for the dramatics, Justin. You were like the daughter we thought we'd never have." Her lips twitched into a smile and then Ethan and her fell into synchronized laughter.
"This is flattering, something you guys finally do together," Milly spat as soon as the staff entered the dining room to place the appetizers in front of us.
The appetizer was blue cheese and pear tartlets with a glass of some kind of wine. I don't really know alcohol so I sipped on my water instead.
Leaning close to me, Justin whispered, "Now may be a good time for you to become acquainted with alcohol." He gulped down his entire glass and then mine before settling back in his chair.
I turned away not wanting to see him like this. Milly was drinking her glass of wine as well, ferociously I might add. With a shake of my head, I ate my appetizer.
"So, Masey, is it?" Ellen grinned.
"It's Kasey," I snapped, my voice not in the least quivered for I am over this dinner. I now see why Justin didn't want me to meet his family. They are terrible.
"Kasey, yeah, so how did you two meet?"
"Knowing Justin, he probably met her at a club or something," Ethan interjected.
"For one, I haven't been to the club in years, I'm a grown man with grown up things to do. Secondly, I met her through a mutual friend which is one of the safest ways to meet people. She was given a high recommendation and I am glad that I have met her."
"Hmph," Ethan grunted, sipping on his wine. "Well, welcome to our family."
"Are we a family?" Justin muttered.
"Enough with the dramatics, Justin, seriously," Ellen hissed.
Justin's hand squeezed down hard on his wine glass and then he released, a smile slipping across his face. "Anything you say, mother."
Appeased, Ellen sat back in her chair as the staff entered the dining room, removing the dirty plates and replacing them with hot bowls of apple butternut squash soup. It's lovely. They refilled everyone's wine glasses and then my water one.
"Milly, how are you? Are you seeing anyone?" Ellen asked, making conversation.
"No, too busy with my rallies and protests. Got people to see, lives to change, you know the drill." She pushed around her soup, frowning.
"When are you going to get a real job, Milly?" Ethan set down his glass of wine. Ellen laughed. "Whatever do you mean?" Milly looked up from her bowl of soup.
"When are you going to get a real job, one that actually requires critical thinking or grunt labor? I know you're a woman and all but at least your mother actually uses some kind of brain power each day."
"Ha ha," Ellen laughed, amused. The wine must be getting to her.
"I'm sorry that fighting for the rights of women doesn't appear to be a real job to you. Yet, you fail to remember how insignificant your one little opinion is. I make thousands of dollars a year. I'm doing just fine, thanks for your concern."
Justin choked on his wine with laughter and I leaned in to whisper into his ear. "How much have you had to drink?"
"I'm fine, Kasey, don't worry." He squeezed my knee underneath the table and I sighed, looking away.
The staff entered the dining hall once again, removing the bowls and replacing them with entrees of chicken breasts with herb basting sauce and sides of asparagus, potatoes, and sliced tomatoes. They refilled the glasses once more and exited the room.
"I find you believing that women have it so much more terrible than men very interesting." Ethan popped a tomato into his mouth. I closed my eyes. This is not going to go well.
With a snort, Milly said, "Well, when you get ready to do something trivial such as pick up some water from the gas station at night because you're thirsty and then fear that some man will probably take advantage of you if you go out alone late at night then maybe you'd understand the difference."
"That could happen to anyone. I could go get gas late one night and a man could jump me for my cash and mug me. It has nothing to do with being a woman. Get your panties out of a wad. Feminists appall me, you know? You whine and cry all day about the differences between a man and a woman yet fail to find the similarities. How can you exist with your glasses half empty so much?" He chuckled and then returned to eating his dinner. I shook my head in disgust.
"Well, here is a difference. When you cheated on me for ten years with seventy five different woman or whatever number you want to come up with, it was fine, I needed to get over it. It was my fault because I worked too much, I didn't satisfy you, I didn't care. But I cheated on you with one man and you had divorce papers on my desk the next morning. So, explain to me who had the upper hand in this scenario and why." Ellen crossed her arms over her chest, her eyes blazing.
Ethan's face flushed and he dropped his fork into his plate. "Ellen, don't start—"
"Oh, God, don't you dare! We've never discussed this, never. You never explained to me why you left me. But let me tell you something, Ethan, it hurt when you cheated on me a billion times but I forgave you. What made me unable to be forgiven?"
"I didn't have an emotional connection to those women, Ellen, I've told you this countless times—"
"Yet you assumed I had an emotional connection to that one man?" She threw back her head and laughed. "He was a guest intern at my office and he was handsome. I knew he was interested and you never would answer my calls, you were never home. I made you dinners and you never would show so I brought him home for dinner because I was lonely, the kids were at grandmas and we fucked, so many times." Ethan's jaw went hard. "Then you came home and you saw me with him and I didn't say let me explain or any of those cheesy things because I wanted you to see it. I wanted you to see me pleased by someone else," she spat her voice pure and unadulterated venom.
Ethan stood up from his seat at the table, chair squeaking against the marble. "You shut your filthy mouth, you bitch!"
Laughing maniacally, she leaned all the way back in her chair, arms behind her head, propping her up. "It's funny how angry you men get when you've feel you have lost. Yet, you were a winner each time you fucked a different girl and I didn't know. But the truth always sets itself free and you made it look like it was no big deal but lord forbid I find pleasure in someone else. Feminism and feminists are important so we can eradicate sick fucks like you."
"I don't need this." Ethan threw his napkin down onto the table.
"Go ahead and leave. In the morning leave a restraining order in my mailbox. That ought to do the trick, hm?" She laughed some more. "See, Justin, I told you, your father is no good."
"Is this what you've been spouting to him all these years, huh? Is this why he never wanted to see me?" Ethan yelled.
"Oh please, you did that to yourself. You're your own reason why he never wanted to come see you." Ellen rolled her eyes.
"God, you're such a bitch! You chose to open your legs to someone else I didn't do that to you."
"And it was the best decision I ever made. I never said I regretted my choice."
Justin's face went pale and Milly's face was exactly the same. My goodness, can't they see that they are hurting their children? This is too much for them. They don't need this.
"Fine, good for you, but don't tell my son whether or not I'm good or bad for him."
"Well you are bad for him." Ellen shrugged.
"Oh, me? What about you? You and your sluttish ways."
"Oh God, save it! I'm not the bad guy here."
"You're terrible for both your children—"
"Shut up!" I slammed my fist down onto the table and everyone's head turned to face me. My face is flushed and I'm breathing hard but I don't care. I can't take this anymore. "You're both terrible for your children, both of you! You both messed up, you've both been shitty, and in result of that you have damaged children. Did you ever stop to think for one second of why maybe Milly feels the need to advocate for women's rights so hard? It's because she has felt trapped her entire life between the both of you and needed an outlet to get all of her pains and frustrations out. Have you ever stopped to think about why Justin never is around and never has real connections with anyone? It's because he thinks love is artificial for you were his first example of love and you showed him the ugliness of it. How can a kid want to love someone if it ends up like you two? You're both disgusting. Just despicable. And you sit here in front of your children who will always be your children no matter how old they are and talk about the ugliness in front of them. You're damaging them, they don't need this. No one would ever need this in their lives."
"Is this true, Milly? I thought you were my favorite girl?" Ethan whispered.
"It's true," she admitted, voice soft, eyes filled with tears. "I love you both but I can't with this anymore. You don't know what it was like growing up being popular but not wanting to invite anyone over for fear that you would show up at moms and start a fight. All you ever did and do is fight all the time. You never believed in any of the things I wanted to do. I wanted to do journalism but you didn't agree with my dream so I had to do it by myself without your support. Justin supported me. All we've ever had is each other and you both put in our heads how one parent was shittier than the other parent and it made me hate you both. That's right, I hate both of you. Either of you are better than the other; you're both equally as shitty. You're both cold and uncaring and I am sorry that I have to call you my parents for you were never there for either of us. I think that Justin has suffered more than I have over this and you haven't even noticed because you have your heads stuck so far up your asses. I'm out of here." Milly stood up and threw her napkin down, walking over to squeeze Justin's hand. "Justin, I'm sorry, okay? I love you so much." She kissed his forehead and then leaned down to say to me, "Please, please take care of my brother, forever, but especially tonight, he'll need you." She headed for the door. "I'll call a cab; I had too much to drink." Then she was gone.
It was silent for a long while and then Justin cracked it with his loud and raucous laughter.
"It's funny, isn't it, Justin? You never take anything seriously, not even your job. What do you do for a living, hm? Build models with that stupid architectural degree and never get them built?" Ellen attacked, her hands clawed.
I see a pattern here. When they are upset, they take it out on Justin, they make him feel just as terrible as they feel, if not, worse. How has he taken this for so long?
"Oh so I guess the UNT stadium and the Dallas Cowboy Stadium I co-designed and made millions off of did nothing for my career. Glad you are an expert, mom."
"Sure, you're so credited—"
"We are leaving," I interrupted, standing up from my seat. I refuse to hear this all night long. I've had enough. I grabbed Justin by the front of his shirt, hauling him from his chair, and watched as he slowly staggered onto both feet.
"Look at you, a pathetic drunk. You prove to me every time I see you that you'll never amount to anything." Ellen shook her head in pity.
I narrowed my eyes and yanked Justin to the door. Before I could open it and pull him through it, he said, "You know what, mom? The funniest thing about you is that you know you fucked up by letting dad get away with sleeping with all those women. You let him run all over you and the only reason you're mad about dad leaving you is because you didn't leave him first, because he won. And that, mom, that is pathetic. Have a lovely night." He winked and then I had him out the door before anyone could say anything in response to him.
Frustrated, I supported Justin's drunken stumbles as I placed him in the passenger seat of the car. Pulling out my phone, I turned on my GPS for I don't really know where I am. The whole ride back to the apartment, Justin mumbled incoherently and smashed his face against the window.
Pulling up to the apartment was a relief, and I supported Justin once more into the elevator and up to his door.
"Did you see her face after I said what I said? It was like the face of doom, like when the character in Lion King gets schooled at the end." Justin chuckled and I sighed, shifting his weight.
"Are you talking about the scene where Scar lets himself go off the same cliff he killed Mufasa on?"
"Yeah...you so get me." He laughed and I patted down his pockets for his keys, finding them and unlocking the door. "Ouch," he hissed as I threw him down on the couch.
I plopped down next to him, fuming. This has been the worst night and Justin is drunk. I want to get in my bed, alone. Standing up, I said, "Well good night, Justin."
Justin's warm hand latched onto my wrist and he said softly, "Please don't go, Kasey."
"I have to go. I have other things to do." I tried to get free but he held on tighter.
"No, Kasey, I'm sorry. Don't leave me, please."
With a roll of my eyes, I yanked my hand away. "I'm going." I will not watch him be drunk.
The sound of a choked back sob registered to my ears and then Justin was sobbing. I turned back to face him, my eyes wide. He has his head in his hands, his shoulders shaking. Oh my goodness, why is he crying?
"Justin, stop it. Why are you crying?"
"You're the only good thing I have," he admitted through his tears. "Please don't go. I'll sober up, I promise, just don't go. Please stay with me."
My heart broke and I sat down on the couch next to him, cradling his head in my lap. "I'll stay, shh."
"Why does my family hate me? What did I do? Kasey, what did I do?"
Tears of my own fell at his heart breaking words and I whispered, "Nothing, baby, you didn't do anything. Sometimes, sometimes there are things you can't change."
"Kasey?"
"Yes?"
"I really care about you, and I'm glad I found you. You're the most beautiful and intelligent woman I have ever met and you support me. You're really here for me and I'm so grateful." He hiccupped.
"Okay, Justin."
"I mean it. I think I may even love you." He sighed, snuggling into me.
My eyes grew wider. Drunk people are usually honest people. "Shh." I kissed the top of his head and caressed his hair until he fell asleep in my arms.