Jessie and August met at UCLA their freshman year. Jess was on the soccer team, Auggie was valedictorian of their graduating class. They seemed like the most unlikely of friends, the shy Canadian soccer player and the brave American pre-law student.
-x-
Jess was so excited to begin her first year of college that she forgot to look where she was going, instead focusing on the wall placards that had room numbers on them. "Room 347. 340, 341, 34..." she murmured before had run into someone and was suddenly sitting on the floor in the middle of the hallway. "I'm so sorry! I wasn't paying attention where I was going," Jess said as she stood back up.
"No it's ok, I wasn't paying attention either," the other student said, "I'm Iris, what's your name?"
"Hi Iris, I'm Jessie," she said with a smile. "What's your room number? I'm in 347."
Iris' eyes widened, "No way! I'm in 347!"
Jess couldn't believe her luck, she had, quite literally, run into her roommate.
A couple weeks after they met, Jess and Iris had become very good friends, they were roommates after all. Jess couldn't help but notice how Iris seemed uncomfortable living in the girls' dorm, but she just chalked it up to homesickness.
Iris did miss home, but she didn't think that was why she felt so uncomfortable in the girls' dorm. She felt so obscenely out of place, not just in the dorm but in her own skin. She had felt that way for a long time and kind of figured that everyone else did too.
One day Iris and Jess were sitting in their room doing homework and chit chatting when Iris brought up how she'd been feeling. "Hey Jess?"
"Yeah, what's up?"
"Have you ever felt out of place? Like you're supposed to belong but you don't?"
"I mean, kinda, yeah I guess," Jess replied. "Why?"
"I guess I just feel out of place," Iris said back.
"Out of place where?" Jessie asked.
"I don't know," Iris sighed. "I think I've always felt out of place."
"Why do you say that?"
"I guess I've just never felt like at home or at peace in my own skin."
"Okay..." Jess slowly said. "What do you mean by that?"
"Like my brain just got placed in a random body that isn't mine. Have you never felt like that?"
"No Iris, I haven't," Jess carefully explained.
"Oh," Iris whispered.
"I think you should maybe see a therapist," Jessie softly told her roommate. "They might be able to help you figure out what's going on inside your head."
Iris hummed noncommittally.
Iris did end up going to a therapist after much prodding from Jessie. Her therapist, Dr. Miller, had asked her to explain how she felt and again she said, "I just feel out of place."
"Ok," said Dr. Miller, "can you elaborate a little more?"
Iris heaved a large sigh, "I kinda feel like someone took my brain and plunked it into someone else's body and I'm just supposed to be fine and live with it. But I hate it."
Dr. Miller nodded along, taking in everything that Iris was saying. "So, if I'm understanding you correctly, you're saying you feel like you were born in the wrong body," she asked.
"Yeah," she stated, "exactly that. No one else I know has ever understood what I was saying whenever I brought it up so I just stopped bringing it up."
Dr. Miller sighed clasping her hands together on top of her knee. "Iris," she began, "from what I'm hearing from you, it sounds like possible gender dysphoria."
"And what's that?"
"Gender dysphoria is a sense of discomfort or unease regarding a mismatch between one's biological sex and their gender identity," Dr. Miller explained. "Typically, those who experience gender dysphoria are transgender."
"So what does that mean for me?"
"Well many people with gender dysphoria find that gender affirmation helps them feel better."
"Ok," Iris said slowly, "so like, what is that?"
"Gender affirmation has many different forms such as social, legal, medical, and surgical. Changing one's name or pronouns would be a social affirmation, changing gender markers on government documents would be legal affirmation, hormone therapy would be medical affirmation, and operations such as a breast augmentation would be considered surgical affirmation."
Iris' eyes widened comically large.
"How about I let you think about it for a few days and you can call me if or when you want to speak again?" Dr. Miller asked. Iris nodded her head, totally overwhelmed and confused.
Later that day, Iris sat on her bed with her computer open as she googled "gender dysphoria" and went down a wikipedia rabbit hole for several hours. She fell asleep with her computer open that night.
Several days after her first appointment with Dr. Miller, Iris called her back to schedule another appointment. She really wanted to figure this whole thing out; she felt so confused. Was she, wasn't she? So many questions running through her head.
-x-
Jess entered her dorm room after practice a few weeks later and saw Iris pacing back and forth in the space between their beds. She carefully sets her stuff down, "Hey," she gently piped, hoping to not startle her roommate.
Iris' head snapped up to look at Jessie, stopping in their tracks, eyes bloodshot. "Oh, hi," they responded.
"What's going on with you? You've been off for a few weeks now, I," Jess stated, carefully watching her roommate. Iris' eyes widened, not knowing what to say as they moved to sit on Jessie's bed.
"Uhm... you remember what we talked about like several weeks ago and you recommended I speak to someone about it?"
"Yeah, why?"
"Well I did," Iris disclosed.
"That's great, I! Really," Jessie expressed, as she moved to sit on her own bed next to her friend. "So what's got you pacing the room? Was it something they said to you?"
"Well uhh, she told me that it sounded like uhm," Iris struggled to get the words out of their mouth. They shook their head, "I can't."
"Would you rather write it down? I can tell this is bugging you," Jess offered, Iris agreed quickly and grabbed a pad of post it notes and a pen before scrawling down what they had been trying to say before they handed it over to Jessie to read. The post it read: "she said it sounded like gender dysphoria." Jessie looked up at her roommate with understanding and empathy. Jessie knew what gender dysphoria was, she had trans friends back home who often spoke about it. "You seem like you need a hug," Jess told her friend.
Iris nodded and leaning into Jess' side, wrapped their arms around her as a few tears rolled down their face, soaking into Jess' t-shirt. "Thank you Jess," Iris conveyed.
"Always and forever."
-x-
It was nearing Halloween when Iris had a realization: they hate the name Iris. It felt too feminine. They pulled up a list of masculine/neutral sounding baby names and scrolled through the list, a few catching their eye but one stuck out: August. It wasn't feminine and it wasn't super masculine. It was perfect.
August was so excited about his new name, he couldn't wait to tell Jessie so they called her knowing she was on the road with the soccer team. "Hey Jess," he said.
"Hey," she said, "what's up?"
"Uhm I may or may not have decided to change my name..." he trailed off awkwardly. He really hoped Jess wouldn't react poorly.
"That's great! Can I ask what it is?"
"Yeah, it's 'August'."
"I love it. It really suits you," Jess gushed.
"Thanks," August blushed.
"Any other new developments that I should be looped in on? Such as pronouns..." Jess probed, trying to get more out of August.
"I- I- I think right now I like he/him but that is subject to change," he stumbled.
"I can do that, Auggie. Always and forever."
August felt warmth flood through him hearing Jess' new nickname for him. "Thank you, Jess."
-x-
Auggie was studying for final exams, Jess was sat at her desk trying to finish a study guide for her French class. She didn't know why she was taking French, she didn't need the foreign language credit, she had a good understanding of the language (after all, she is Canadian).
Leaning back in her seat she groaned. "I'm so done," Jess said, as she closed her computer and stood from her chair. "I need a break, how about you, Auggie?"
"Yeah, sure," he said. "Let me finish this answer quickly and we can take a walk."
"Great!" Jessie watched over Auggie's head as he finished writing his answer down. "Ready?"
"Yeah. Wanna get ice cream? It's on me."
"Sure!"
Jessie and Auggie left their dorm building side by side and meandered their way across campus to the local ice cream parlor. They each ordered ice cream cones, with double scoops of course. Auggie handed his ice cream to Jessie to hold as he payed for their treats. He stowed his wallet, grabbed his cone, and he joined Jess at a little table to enjoy their ice cream.
"Thank you Auggie," Jess said, her palm sat on the table. Auggie gently slid his hand across the table and placed his hand on top of her's. Jessie slowly turned her palm over and allowed him to hold her hand.
"Always and forever, Jess," he announced. Jessie's cheeks blushed. The two went silent a moment as they locked eyes before their quiet conversation continued.
As they returned from to their dorm, Auggie and Jess held their hands between them, a new type of bond had started to form. By the end of April they had gone on many dates and Auggie finally asked Jessie to be his girlfriend while they were on a picnic in the park. "Always and forever, Augs."
-x-
By their senior year, Jessie was looking to play soccer professionally and Auggie was studying for the LSAT. Jess had received multiple offers from various leagues, both domestic and international. Auggie had dreamed of going to Yale Law School since he was a kid.
"Jess," Auggie said. "You know I'll follow you to wherever you want to play, right?"
Jessie sighs, "Yeah, but I know Yale Law is your dream and I can't take that from you, Augs."
"And I know you're really considering Chelsea's offer for after graduation."
"I won't take your dream away from you, babe," Jess reiterated. "How do you feel about long distance?"
"It'd be tough," Auggie started. "We've been attached at the hip since we moved in freshman year. I've heard stories of couples who decided to try long distance and it broke them. I don't want the distance to ruin us, babe."
"It won't ruin us. Y'know why?"
"Why?"
"Because we have something that those other couples didn't."
"And what's that?"
"Love," Jessie confessed. "I know that you and I can make long distance work. My love for you is so strong, I can't come up with an accurate enough metaphor to describe it. I love you, August. Always and forever."
"I love you too, Jessie. Always and forever."
-x-
Auggie had just finished his last year of law school in the top ten of the Yale Law School Class of 2023. He was so proud of everything he had accomplished in his three years at Yale. His eyes scanned the crowd looking for his girlfriend of six years, Jessie. He hadn't seen her in months, he'd been busy with exams and she was in the midst of her season.
Finally, his eyes landed on her mixed in with both of their families. He hadn't expected the Flemings to come to his graduation but he was touched that they had showed up. He met her eyes and he smiled at her, that big goofy smile she had fallen in love with all those years ago at UCLA. Jessie grinned back at him with a blush.
After the ceremony had ended, Auggie was walking though the crowd hunting for his family, he patted his pocket several times to make sure he had the box. As he passed through the crowd of people, he greeted friends he had made and their families before he finally found his own family. "JESS!"
"AUGGIE!" She ran to him, leapt into his arms and pressed her lips to his. The kiss marked their first kiss in three and a half months. "I missed you," she murmured into his neck.
"I missed you too, babe."
"I love you so much, Augs. I'm so proud of you."
"I love you too, Jess. Thank you."
"Ahem! Hello, we're here too," August's mom pulled his attention from Jessie to where the rest of his family stood in wait for him.
He set his girlfriend back on the ground with one last loving kiss, grabbed her hand and pulled her with him to speak with his family. "Hi mom and dad," he greeted them and pulled them into individual hugs. As he hugged his dad, he whispered into his ear, "I'm gonna propose, get your camera ready." His dad squeezed him tighter.
"I'm so proud of you, son," his dad replied tearfully.
After he hugged his parents he went and hugged the Flemings too. He softly spoke into Jessie's dad's ear, "I'm gonna propose, make sure your camera is ready." He hugged him tighter and lay him on the back.
"You've had my blessing since she brought you home the first time," he whispered back.
Auggie backed out of the hug and returned to Jessie's side, wrapped his arm around her waist and gently guided her towards the small bit of open space in between their families. "Jess," he began, sneakily having pulled out the box from his pocket. "We met freshman year at UCLA on move in day. You quite literally ran into me, we discovered that we were roommates and the rest, they say, is history. I've spent the last six years being in love with you and it has been the best six years of my life. You made me believe in the strength of love and you believed in me when I couldn't." Auggie backed up and dropped to one knee and opened up the ring box. "Would you, Jessie Alexandra Fleming, make me the happiest man alive and marry me?"
Jessie was awestruck. The ring was gorgeous, Auggie was handsome as ever, the moment was perfect. "Yes, Augs. One hundred percent yes!"
Auggie placed the ring on her finger before he hopped up and they shared a searing kiss as their family cheered all around them. They both smiled into the kiss before Auggie whispered, "I love you, Jessie. Always and forever."
"I love you too, August. Always and forever."