Song: Time After Time
Artist: Cyndi Lauper (Cover by AbelTriesHerBest)
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I never knew that I could feel this way about anyone.
My palms feel sweaty.
But at the same time they don't.
My body feels jittery.
Yet I feel relaxed.
My mind is swirling.
But I feel calm.
I feel nervous all over and all I keep thinking about is if I'm going to mess up and do or say something stupid.
Sean is sitting in front of me. He has his fingers wrapped halfway around a large juice cup.
His fries and double cheesy burger are nowhere to be seen. Empty ketchup packets are scattered on the empty burger wrapper that is spread out before him.
I slowly sip the remaining liquid in my cup.
Sean glanced around the busy restaurant then at me. And when his eyes turn to me, I panic and divert my eyes quickly.
I turn my attention to the unfinished burger and the bits and pieces of fries splattered with ketchup that are left in front of me.
"Are you done?" He queries.
I clear my throat and nod meekly.
"I should probably drop you home now before it gets late. I don't want to worry your parents."
Parent,** I want to say to correct him.
But I don't.
I want to tell him that it wouldn't matter if I'm home late anyways because no one's home today. Wilma went home for the day and with my dad still out of the country, that just leaves me.
Lonely Vannessa.
This is something I should be used to, but it still hasn't become any easier to digest.
Even though most of my life has been centred around this recurring feeling of emptiness, I still have a hard time accepting it.
I feel like maybe that's why I hid myself from the world. Maybe that's why I used my education as a shield-a distraction from the truth.
A blanket to cover the nakedness that is the real me.
Bland and vulnerable to the world.
Maybe that's why I am so onboard with the whole idea of getting Sean's attention.
Maybe I want to end this hollowness that's lurking inside me.
Maybe I want to end it before it eats me alive.
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We stopped outside of my house.
I notice that the outside lights are on. They begin to grow brighter as the sky of grey, blue, peach and pink hues begin to darken the more the evening passes by.
It is darker than it was when we were at the diner.
Sean's car engine is still on and he gazes in what I think is admiration at my house.
"Nice house," he says with a slight whistle.
"Thanks."
It is silent for a few beats.
I take that as my cue to get the heck out of the car before my mouth slips and spoils this almost perfect day.
I grab the handle of my bag and push the door slightly.
The chilly evening air greets me. Wisps of my dark curly hair scatter in front of my eyes. Obeying the wind's demands and creating a barely see-through view of tiny clustered dark threads.
Tucking the hair behind my ear, I turn to look back at Sean for one last time.
He's already gazing at me.
My body temperature rises and blood rushes to my cheeks under the pressure of his gaze.
"Um... Thanks for dropping me home." I say shyly.
"No problem. The pleasure is all mine."
I was about to bid my farewell when he quickly interjected.
"Are you free this Saturday?"
The question was so sudden I was left dumbfounded for a few seconds. My mouth opened and closed like a gaping fish desperate for h2O.
Focus Vannessa!
Answer the question!
"Y-yeah. Yeah, I'm free."
"Would you like to go out with me again? Or is it too soon?" He queried, sounding unsure.
I wasted no time in thinking and replied with, "sure."
Sean glances at my house once more.
"Ok cool. I'll see you around then."
"Yeah. See you later."
I put my right foot onto the sidewalk and hoist my body out of the car. I plop my backpack on one shoulder and shut the passenger door.
I turn. About to head to my front door.
As soon as my feet start to move, Sean's car engine revs and before I can register it, his car speeds off.
I spin around and blink at the spot where his car rested not too long ago. Amazed at how fast he disappeared.
The only evidence which proves he once occupied the area is the existence of dark puffs of exhaust that his car left behind.
I cough when the smoke seeps down my throat.
Before today, I had completely different thoughts about dating.
One thought in particular was that after the date, the boy would drop me home. We would have conversations outside my house. He would wait in his car and watch me as I walked to my front porch. Until I was safely inside.
But it did happen as I thought it would.
Except, the boy left me on the sidewalk in front of my gate and sped off as soon as I closed his car door.
My imagination was built around a box of white and dark chocolate, white roses and sweet, expressive poems on my first date.
But it turned out very different.
I guess imagination is just that most times.
An imagination.
A vision of what I hope reality could be.
But I should know better.
I'm just grateful that Sean is at least tolerating me after how I practically threw myself at him like a common apple.
He might not have given me anything fancy for the first date but I have high hopes for the second date. And besides, he said he wanted to take things slowly.
At that thought, a huge grin stretches across my face. I cough a few more times and trudge towards my front door. I pull my phone from the side of my bag and turn it on.
When the lock screen comes into view my mood shifts instantly. Upon entering my front porch, my feet stop moving as if they have a mind of their own.
The smile drops from my face and I fight the thoughts that race through my mind.
Oh. Shit.
'Let's meet up on Saturday.' The text reads. 'We need to work on that project.'
I reread Dontae's message three times.
The message was sent at 5:00 pm.
It's now 6:30 pm.
At that moment, my body runs cold as the agreement splashes iced water on my face.
"And there's no go-backs, which means that if you agree you will follow my terms for the next seven months."
Dontae's words reiterated in my head like an endless loop. Starting over and over and over again.
My response to his deal comes rushing into my head.
"Yes. I'm willing to do whatever it takes."
If I didn't feel uneasy about this deal earlier, I surely do now.
I shouldn't have agreed to go out with Sean without Dontae's input.
I sigh in deep frustration.
What did I get myself into?
What am I going to do?
If I tell Sean that I can't go out with him on Saturday I might hurt his feelings. But maybe I can convince Dontae to switch the study session to Sunday.
No. No Vannessa.
What if he feels offended?
What if he calls off this whole agreement?
We aren't as close as we once were so I have no idea what could happen if I make him upset.
What am I going to do?
I gaze over at Dontae's house.
It is really quiet.
Bright lights illuminate the fancy porch and the outside of the house.
Fear crawls up and down my skin as I remember the way Dontae had looked at me in the school's parking lot.
I want to talk to him but maybe I should give him some space until he's ready to talk.
Yeah.
That sounds good.
We'll figure something out on Saturday.
I remind myself of the beautiful parts of my day.
Like the way Sean made me feel.
I try to remember the way he spoke to me.
The way his words gave me some sort of comfort.
The way he made me feel special.
I smile slightly as I pick up the key from under a loose floorboard. The door opens with a smooth click when I twist the key into the slot.
Taking a deep breath, the familiar scent of lavender wafts into my nostrils.
I expected to see nothing but darkness inside the house, but the lights are blindingly bright.
My smile grew as my mind wandered to Wilma.
Oh Wilma.
She's always looking out for me. Even when she's not around.
I headed to my room and freshened up.
With nothing better to do, I whipped out my workbook along with my ladybug notebook and sat on the chair.
I started my homework. Working through the difficult math questions.
Sean's face flickered in my mind like the flame of a lonely candle surrounded by darkness.
It was interesting to know that you could love so much about someone in such a short span of time.
What I gathered from my little time with Sean is that he's charming, sexy and from the way he acts, he seems like he's willing to go into the deepest and darkest pit to get what he wants.
And for some reason, I liked it.
Maybe we can have a blast together.
I can't believe he actually has feelings for me.
I don't stop the smile that lights up my face.
Although I know that fairytales aren't real, I force myself to believe that just for this moment, this is my fantasy.
It feels good to have something go the way I want it to go for once.
I tried to focus on the homework in front of me but I couldn't.
My thoughts kept reverting to Dontae's expression.
I stopped smiling and lines of worry crinkled on my forehead.
His blank stare filled my mind.
But his eyes are what worries me.
They held something.
Something so very obvious, but at the same time, so inconspicuous.
And for the first time, I wasn't worrying about my end of semester exams or getting straight A's on my next five assignments.
I was... distracted.
My attention was fixed on something else.
Wow.
Who could have guessed that me, Vannessa Walters, would one day be distracted from my textbooks?
And that too, engrossed by two teenage boys.
What's happening to me?
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Thanks for reading everyone, hope you enjoyed this chapter and if you like the story so far don't forget to vote and comment or just choose to do one. Wishing you a good day/night and I'll see you in the next update.
Your amateur author,
Fetish_For_Melody ♥️