Chapter 33
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Nakatulala ako sa papel na naglalaman ng resulta. Tears started to stream down to my rosy cheeks, halo-halo ang nararamdaman ko. I feel happy knowing that I'm carrying his child, yet scared of how he'll react if I break this news to him. I'm also nervous and sad because I don't know what'll I do lalo na kung kailan malapit ko na makamit pangarap ko doon pa ako mabubuntis. But if people ask if if I regret this, I think I'll say I didn't.
"Tangina, Xochiquetzal!" Ate Kisha screamed her frustration out on the too of her lungs. "Kailan kayo umabot sa ganun? Wala sa kontrata niyo yung gumawa ng bata." Ate Kisha ran her hands through her hair, she looked tired, worried, and disappointed.
"Sorry, Ate." I hold my sobbed as I could, but I didn't succeed. Kumawala ang mga hikbi at luhang kanina ko pa pinipigilan. After we left the hospital, she didn't talk to me, ngayon lang sa apartment.
"Kailan pa, Xochiquetzal?!" She yelled. I understand her, she's not just a manager to me, she's also a friend of mine and a big sister.
"S-Sa party." I stuttered, nahihirapan akong magsalita.
Nanlambot siya, napahawak siya sa headrest ng single sofa.
"You sneak out that night, you ditch your curfew to—" she cut her own words and looked at me straight in the eye. "I-I don't wanna judge you agad, tell me why? Bakit, Xochi?" She asked, begging me to tell her the real reason.
"W-We were drugged. I saw Chloe put something on Zak's drink when I got out of the restroom. Uninom ko, but I was shocked when Zak stole it from me and drank the remaining half. Hindi namin sinasadya." I explained, I tried so hard to explain it clearly pero nahirapan ako dahil sa hikbi.
Her eyes softened, but she turned her back on me. "Aalis na muna ako, I don't want to make this big."
Then she opened the door and slowly left. I waited for her to come back but she didn't then it hit me, I was left all alone in our dim apartment. Mahina akong tumayo sa pagkakaupo, pinunasan ko ang basang pisngi ko, and walked towards the kitchen. I took a black tupperware out from the fridge and reheat it, I was sad and wala sa mood, but it's almost dinner. Hindi ko puwedeng pabayaan sarili ko lalo na't may bata sa sinapupunan ko.
Sumubo ako kahit kakaonti, pero ng malasahan ang pagkain ay agad akong naduwal. I immediately ran towards the restroom and vomited. I flashed it and cried my eyes out again, iyak lang ako nang iyak alam kong masama para sa bata pero I can't control it, all my feelings overflow. I felt like I lost another cherished person, I disappointed someone for like I don't know. A thousand times, I did try my best, hindi ko akalain na hahantong pala sa ganto. Pero hindi ako nagsisi na nabuo ang bata sa sinapupunan ko ang pinagsisisihan ko ay 'di ko sinabi kay Ate Kisha. She might've felt betrayed.
"I'm sorry," I whispered, nakaupo ako sa tiles, and I just let my tears stream down.
Lumipas ang ilang minuto ay di pa rin ako tumatayo. Blanking expression ang meron ako, medyo tumigil na rin ang pagtulo ng aking mga luha.
"Ohh my gosh!" A squeal right in front of me made me look up. She immediately placed the plastics she was holding.
She looked at me with those sad and sorry eyes. She immediately helped me get up.
"I'm so sorry, Ate Kisha. I didn't mean to." I apologized, I won't get tired of apologizing to her. I disappointed her, lalo na't malapit na ko sa pangarap ko.
"No, no, no. I'm sorry for leaving you alone. I'm sorry, I was just..." She trailed off and looked away. "Ate won't leave you anymore." She said, I smiled and dozed off to sleep.
Nagising ako dahil sa ingay ng alarm. I slowly opened my eyes, hindi ako agad umupo. Tinitigan ko lang ang ceiling ng kwarto ko, hindi ko alam kung paano ko sasabihin kay Zak ang tungkol dito. Hindi ko rin alam kung anong mangyayari kung sakaling malaman ng publick ang pagdadalang-tao ko.
A knock on the door made me slowly sit down on my bed from lying. Hindi ako nagsalita, but the door opened.
It was Ate Kisha, she's holding a black tray. She smiled at me, lumapit siya sa 'kin at ibinaba ang tray sa higaan ko. There is one big bowl for rice, one medium bowl para sa sabaw, and two small bowls na two different dishes.
I blinked and looked at her, puzzled.
"Breakfast in bed, hindi ka kumain kagabi dahil hinimatay ka. Kaya kain ka na, after that inumin mo yung mga vitamins mo nannireseta ng doctor kahapon." She stated, tinitigan ko lang si Ate Kisha habang nag sasalita siya. She gave me the utensils, and I accepted it. "Bumili na ako kagabi, and then mag-e-exercise ka, jogging tayo sa labas samahan kita—" I cut her off by calling her name.
"Ate," I called, but she didn't reply and continued talking. She stood up and looked around my room.
"Tatayo na muna ako, chi-check ko muna yung pinapakuluan kong tubig—" once again, I cut her off.
"Ate Kisha, I'm sorry." I sincerely apologized, yumuko ako at nagsimula na namang magsitulo ang mga luha.
She burst out crying after a couple of seconds.
"Sorry, rin! Nagpadala ako sa emosyon! Dapat nasa tabi mo ko, dapat 'di ako umalis kasi ikaw yung nasa sitwasyon na 'yon ehh." She took the tray and placed it on the floor, tinakpan niya ito saka ako niyakap ng mahigpit. "Nasaktan lang ako, I dream high for you kaya ganun. And masyado ata akong naging selfish." Mahina nitong saad havang yakap-yakap ako.
"Ako dapat ang mag-sorry, I disappointed you. Hindi ko sinabi sayo sa, I choose to keep it a secret. Kasalanan ko." I said and pointed at my chest.
She shocked her head. "Okay lang. May rason ang diyos kaya ganyan, tahan na nga tayo makakasama ang pagdra-drama kay baby."
She smiled and looked at my belly. Instead of eating in my room, lumabas kami at sa kusina kumain. Ginawa namin ang sinabi niya, we took a jog and drip by Tita Christinia, but we haven't informed them yet about my pregnancy. Then sa hapon ay nag-shoot kami sa another project which is a teen fiction. Entitled, 'Under The Blue Sky' directed by Felicity. Siya pa rin ang director dahil nagustuhan ng mga nasa taas ang paraan ng pag-di-direct niya.
After shooting there scenes ay nag-paalam na agad kaming aalis na. Hinayaan naman kaming umalis kaya we move in haste to leave the set, I suddenly craved some mangos and peanut butter again that's why Ate Kisha wanted us to leave already.
We bought ten pieces of mango and 3 bottles of peanut butter. When I finally got what I craved, Ate Kisha suddenly asked something that made me stop eating. Pauwi na sana kami sa apartment, pagabi na rin kasi. It's 4:40 pm.
"May balak ka bang sabihin kay Zak pagbubuntis mo?" She asked while maneuvering the steering wheel.
I averted my eyes, ilang segundo rin ang pinalipas ko bago sumagot.
"I-I'm not sure, Ate Kisha. Hindi pa ako sigurado kung sasabihin ko ba o hindi. I'm scared, to be honest." I explained and leaned on the seat. Katabi ko lang si Ate Kisha para raw madali niya lang akong matulungan kung saklai na kailangan ko.
"Hindi sa pangingialam pero pareho niyong binubo ang bata na yan. You should tell him you'll never know if you don't do it." She explained. She's right, but I'm not just ready yet to tell Zak.
Tumango na lang si Ate Kisha at ibinaling ang atensyon sa pag-mamaneho. Nang makarating sa apartment ay nasa isip ko ang sinabi niya, pati sa pagtulog ay pinag-isipan ko kung sasabihin ko na ba agad bukas hanggang sa makatulog na lang ako.
***
When I woke up, the first thing I did was to prepare what I'd say to Zak or how I'd break the news to him. Even when I was on the shoot, I practiced it during our break, however only in my mind, because someone might hear me. Pagkatapos ng shoot ay dumiretso na ako agad papunta sa M Entertainment, I can't back down now kahit na nanginginig na ako sa kaba.
I took a deep breath before walking towards Zak's secretary. Kararating ko pa lang sa floor ni Zak at parang nabuhusan ang ng malamig na yelo dahil sa oanlalamig ng kamay.
"Good afternoon, Ma'am. Are you looking for Sir Zakchaios?" She asked, and I nodded in response.
"Is he free today? May mga importante meetings ba siya?" I asked, making sure that he had no important appointments so that he wouldn't be clouded by the thought of it.
"None, Ma'am." Even destiny is on my side today. "But Sir Zakchaios is currently in a meeting today, and afterwards, Sir Zakchaios will be just looking into the papers for signing." She informed me, and I nodded.
"Can I go in?" I asked, sana oo.
She smiled and bowed her head. "Certainly, Ma'am."
I mouthed thank you and immediately walked towards Zak's office. Pagkarating ko sa labas ng office ay wala nga talagang tao, pumasok ako at saka umupo sa sofa. Mga ilang minuto na ay 'di pa rin siya dumarating kaya mas lalo akkng kinabahan.
I stood up and practiced what I'll say, to ease the nervousness I'm feeling.
"How should I start it?" I whispered and placed my right hand on my chin. Thinking about how I'll break the news to him.
"Good afternoon, Zak." I started to rehearse, para di ako mautal at para di mawala sa isip ko. "Kumain ka na? Do you remember the night we did the deed? Ang pandit ng deed." I blew some air, and pabagsak na umupo sa sofa.
"Remember nung party na nagawa natin yung dapat di natin ginawa?" I looked up as I said that. "Puwede na ata, tama. I'll use that one?" I nod my head, I rested my head on the headrest.
"At sasabihin ko na lang na..." I trailed off and stared at the ceiling for a while. "And that one night bore into something. I'm seven weeks pregnant, Zak." I said and sighed with a heavy relief.
That should do it!
"You're what?!" A deep manly voice yelled that made me jump out from sitting.
Namutla ako nag makitang nakasalubong ang kilay ni Zak habang nakatayo sa glass door.
"Z-Zak, kanina ka pa dyan?" I asked, stuttering from fear and shock.
He didn't answer my question but instead walked towards me. Nakailang hakbang lang ata siya to reached my spot.
"Tell me, are you really pregnant?" He asked, hindi ako makatingin, nanginginig man ang katawaj ay dahan-dahan akong tumango.
"H-How? You said you were safe." He stated that made my eyebrows meet. Nagtanong siya? Gosh, iyon ata yung hindi ko narinig.
I bowed my head. "I'm sorry."
Kasalanan ko pala talaga kung bakit kami nasa sitwasyon na ito. If I just told him na hindi ko narnig edi sana nabilhan niya agad ako ng birth control.
"Hey, Love. Look at me." He spoke softly, I'm not a crybaby but I feel like crying right now. Hindi ako tumingin sa kanya, I tried my best to conceal my sob.
"Are you crying?!" He panicked.
Nagulat na lamang ako ng makita mukha niya, yumuko siya para tingnan mukha ko. Suddenly I felt my body lighten. Zak carried me in bridal style and sat down on the sofa. Now, I'm sitting on his lap while crying.
"Wag mo ko tingnan." Humihilbing angil ko ng sinubukan niyang hawiin buhok ko.
"Love, listen. I'm not angry, I was just shocked to know that with just one night I knocked you up." He said jokingly.
I pouted. "Is it true? You're not angry at me? Di ka talaga galit kasi buntis ako?"
I looked him in the eye kahit na umiiyak. Bako siya sumagot ay may kinuha siya sa bulsa niya and handed it to me. It was a handkerchief. He gently wiped my tears that was streaming nonstop.
"Come, blow on it. I won't look, I promise." He uttered and even held the handkerchief for me as I blew my snot. "I'm not angry, I promise. I was just surprised and to be honest I'm happy." He assured which made me tear up more.
I wrapped my arms around his neck and cried a river on his shoulder. He didn't force me to stop, he comforted me by rubbing my back, calling me love, and cheering me up.
Nang matapos sa pag-iyak ay inilayo ko ang ulo ko sa kanya.
"Kala ko magagalit ka sa 'kin." Panimula ko, after I recovered from crying. "W-Will you terminate the contract?" I asked I didn't know where I picked up the courage to ask him that but thankfully I did.
"Yes," He answered which made my shoulders droop down. "Are you sad?" Tanong niya pero diko na sinagot.
"Sorry but I have to, Love...." he trailed off, Love, you don't even love me nga eh.
"I guess this is the right time. Love, I want to be with you, I want to go out with you without following any schedules, without thinking about any rules to defy." He started, tinitigan ko siya. Nagtataka kung bakit niya 'to sinasabi sa 'kin. "I love you, Xochiquetzal Hanalei Valmorida." He added, in a low sweet voice.
My eyes widen in shock at his sudden confession.
"Let's make it official."