"You have not lived today until you have done something for someone who can never repay you." John Bunyan
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XVIII.
"A ... a whole book of harp music ... Grandmamma, you shouldn't have." Lily lifted the collection of sheet music out of the gift box carefully and looked up at the eyes of her family members as they watched her open her birthday presents.
"I thought your father might have purchased you an instrument for the house, but he has neglected you thus," Cecily mused, eyeing Adam with an arched brow. "Think of the gentlemen Lily could have impressed had she had an instrument in the drawing room." She tsked and shook her head.
Lily was silently very thankful for her parents' gift of a dainty gold timepiece engraved with her initials.
"A harp would have been a little challenging to gift wrap, Mother," Adam retorted playfully. "I must admit I am also devastated that Lily's talents cannot be shopped to idiotic fortune hunters. Alas, there is always Christmas." Adam winked at Lily.
Cecily rolled her eyes before she returned her attention back to Lily and clapped her hands twice. "Now, for the pièce de resistance." She produced another two beautifully wrapped gift boxes. "Only one of these is for you, Lily. The other is for Jackie."
Lily's cousin had been sitting with her family on one of the sofas watching Lily unwrap her gifts and was quite surprised when her grandmother had named her. Jackie, as well as Jack, had forgone work that day, and she had donned a simple, white day dress for the occasion. Cecily had been pleased and had audibly said so.
"For me, Grandmamma? But it is not my birthday for another few weeks." Jackie straightened her posture.
"Yes, I know, but you are both to debut just before your birthday, and I wanted you both to have these." Lily could see the pride in her grandmother's eyes as she held the two gift boxes out in her hands.
Both Lily and Jackie rose to go and collect their boxes. Lily's name was handwritten in her grandmother's elegant hand atop one. Lily spied her given name: Cecily. Jackie, likewise, received a box inscribed: Jacqueline.
Lily and Jackie exchanged a glance, before Cecily urged them to sit together on a long footstool so that they might open their gifts beside each other. They simultaneously removed the ribbons and lifted the lids, before being greeted by a glittering, diamond tiara nestled in a silk bed.
Lily was suitable awestruck as she stared at the headpiece. It was a perfect halo of looping silver, adorned with diamonds of all sizes, the centrepiece a magnificent stone the size of a silver coin. Lily glanced beside her to see that Jackie had unboxed a tiara as well. Jackie's tiara was just as grand and as stunning as Lily's, the only difference being that Jackie's centre stone was a magnificent green emerald.
Cecily had never appeared prouder in her life than she had in that moment, and she was quick to lift each of the tiaras out of their boxes so that she could place them on the heads of her granddaughters. She gently placed Lily's first, before delicately placing Jackie's. Cecily stepped backwards to admire her work, and Lily could have sworn that she saw tears in her grandmother's eyes.
Cecily was prepared for the occasion though and revealed that she had brought down a silver hand mirror from her dressing table. She held it up to both of the girls so that they could see their appearance.
"Beautiful. Absolutely beautiful, the pair of you," Cecily declared. "Jackie, your tiara is the one I wore on my wedding day," she uttered tenderly. "I thought that the emeralds would compliment your eyes, and I am pleased to see that I am right." Cecily gently caressed Jackie's cheekbone with the back of her knuckle. "And Lily," Cecily brought the mirror in front of Lily's face, "your tiara was the one I wore when I made my debut all those years ago."
Lily could not believe her reflection when she saw the sight of the glittering tiara atop her head. It was, without a doubt, the most divine piece of jewellery that she had ever worn, let alone owned. The silver, diamond encrusted loops, formed a perfect circlet around her head, and it contrasted with her dark hair beautifully. It was ostentatious, and yet it suited her, and she looked every bit a princess. It was perfect, and fit for royalty, and Lily knew that she ought to have been feeling much like the lady that she was as she was about to debut.
And yet, all Lily could think about in that moment was Callan. How was it fair that she could be gifted something as valuable as this tiara without having to do anything for it, and Callan could work like a dog his whole life and still be ruined?
Though Lily would never sell such a sentimental heirloom, she wondered what sort of price it might fetch. Something like this would certainly change the life of Callan ... of so many.
"Perrie, one of these might have been yours had you cared enough to make your debut," Cecily suddenly snapped back over her shoulder.
Perrie sniggered. "Look what you did, Joe. You cost me a tiara!"
"Probably for the best," Joe retorted. "You'd lose half the diamonds cutting it down to fit your imp head."
Lily hardly heard the bickering of her sister and brother-in-law. She was still deep in conflicting thought as she had Jackie were both surrounded by their family as they came to inspect and compliment the tiaras. Alice had to ask Lily three times if she would wear the tiara before Lily heard her, to which Cecily replied that she would be gifted her own upon her debut, provided Cecily was alive to escort her and Alice did not follow in her sister's footsteps.
"Mother," Jack and Adam simultaneously groaned.
In all the excitement that Lily witnessed as she was fussed over, it really made her stomach twist into quite a knot as she thought about how normal this was for her. She had never really questioned it before, nor thought about the immense privilege she possessed in being born into a family like the Beresfords.
Did Lily even deserve it when someone like Callan had experienced all that he had and still did not persevere?
"You are beautiful, my angel." Adam's voice was the one to finally break Lily from her thoughts, and she looked up to meet his eyes. He was smiling down at her, a similar look of pride in his eyes as he appraised her. But he saw Lily's inner turmoil on her face, and with one flick of head, he motioned for her to follow him.
Lily nodded, and she awkwardly manoeuvred around her siblings to follow her father.
"Where do you think you're going?" Cecily called after them both. "You had better not be talking Lily out of debuting, Adam! I am mere weeks from finally presenting my granddaughters. Do you know how long I have waited?"
"Do you know, we have no idea how long you've waited, Mother. You never mention it," Jack teased. "We all ought to be as humble as you are."
"You are incorrigible!" Cecily snapped at her youngest son.
"Be calm, Mother. I am not going to talk Lily out of debuting," Adam promised, before he uttered under his breath, "though you know I am in full support of you remaining at home forevermore, my dear."
"I heard that!" Cecily screeched just as Adam closed the door behind him.
As soon as the door was closed, Adam collected Lily with his arm and held her securely at his side. Lily leaned into the security of her father and allowed his presence to soothe her.
"I would like to think that I know your mind very well," Adam murmured. "Perhaps you do not let your old papa know all your secrets, but your heart is as transparent as sheet of glass. Tell me what is troubling you so that I might help you."
How Lily wanted to tell her father everything. How she wanted him to fix everything for her so that she never had to worry again. But then, was that not yet another example of an unfair privilege that she possessed? It was almost as though her papa had a magic wand that could be waved, and all her problems would vanish.
And yet Callan's father had tried to do the same thing for him, and all that had achieved was Callan being consigned to a deal with his horrid-sounding grandfather that would end in him being forced to renounce his faith.
"Papa, is it fair that we have all of this?" Lily meant to ask the question calmly, but the stress in her voice was evident as she reached up and ran her fingers over the smooth diamonds atop her head. She then went to remove the tiara, but it had somehow managed to catch in her hair.
It was almost like a cruel joke. Even if she tried to reject this wealth, it still had a hold on her.
Adam brushed her hands away and managed to untangle the strand of hair that was caught, before he gently removed the tiara from her head. "Is what fair?"
"That ... that we are rich, and others are ... not rich."
"Is it fair?" Adam posed. "I don't know," he answered honestly. "We have no control over what family we are born to. Is it fair? Perhaps not. But I have never made it my business to laud my fortune over others, nor have I raised the four of you to behave in a way that suggests you are better than anyone else because you have been born to privilege.
"Your mother and I made the purposeful decision to raise you blindly to your position in society so that you interact with every individual you meet with sincere compassion.
"Perhaps it is not fair that we have what we do, and others go without. But we do not behave in a way that is ignorant to the plights of others. With such wealth comes great responsibility, and it is in my role as Duke that I ensure that every man, woman, and child who lives and makes a living on my estate has opportunity to prosper."
Lily bit down on her lip and thought about how she and her siblings had been educated in the church school just like her parents had done. She had grown up with the village children of Ashwood, indeed, very ignorant about the differences in their stations. Perhaps too ignorant. "But Papa, is it right that I should have something so valuable when that tiara could help someone else so much more?"
"Is it right? Of course, you should have it, Lily. Your grandmother has given it to you as a very sentimental gift." Adam took a breath, before he sighed. "The difference between you, and many others in the same position as you are, is your compassion. Your capacity to care makes you a far wealthier young woman than any other person with a fortune to his name. Many people choose not to see the struggles of the everyday man."
"Caring for someone doesn't put food in people's bellies, Papa. Money does that."
Adam let out a breathy chuckle. "Indeed, it does. But compassion is where it must start. Seeing the needs of others is an important steppingstone to proper charity. I did not choose to be in this position, but I do not waste it, either. I fund the school. I ensure every child on my land can read and write. Fourteen boys who have grown up on Ashwood lands have applied to me for aid and I am sponsoring their education at Eton. Your mother works with the reverend to organise food and clothing parcels, and she coordinates doctors to travel from London so that people in the village can seek care without charge.
"Compassion is where it starts. I know it does not necessarily mean that all of one's problems are fixed, but I am not God. I am but a man who does his best for his family and for his people.
"I would like to think that this eye allows me to see something in people that others in my position might often overlook or neglect. My son-in-law, your Uncle Jem, your Uncle Alex ..."
Lily thought back to her father's recent mentorship of Joe, of how he had taken Joe under his wing and had raised him up to be the proud man that he was today.
"You cannot give every poor man on the street a tiara, Lily," Adam murmured. "For that is not the only way that you can help a person."
Lily stared at the tiara that was still in her father's hands. She did genuinely care about Callan and his struggle. She cared for him so much that it hurt her insides to see him in pain. She would have done anything to help him ...
... she had believed in him.
Was it Lily's belief that had changed his mind? Lily had not offered him money. But she had offered him compassion. Had that really helped him in that dark moment? Was that enough?
"Are you going to tell me what has brought this on?" Adam asked softly.
But no sooner had Adam asked the question were they interrupted by a footman joining them in the hallway.
"Pardon me, Your Grace, but you have a visitor."
Adam tore his eyes away from Lily, only to ask, "Who?"
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Who could it be?????!!!!
I hope you've all had a wonderful first week of January. Mine was eventful! I spent 5 days in Adelaide which is in another state in Australia. Visited family and then took bf on a tour of the city as he'd never been before. My favourite place to visit when I'm in Adelaide is Hahndorf, so go there if you're ever in town!
I then came back to get my wisdom tooth out :( I'm very fortunate that I only have two wisdom teeth, and one looks like it'll never come through, but the other did. And that little bitch had a captain hook hand. My dentist yanked for 20 minutes. It was so fkn traumatic. I cried. Obviously didn't hurt as I was numbed but omg that was horrible. I'm on painkillers now.
But yeah, party party party over here!
Thank you all for your lovely comments on the last chapter. I very much appreciate it and I read them all.
Vote and comment xxx