A Secret Ambition

VIII

"Cooking is at once child's play and adult joy. And cooking done with care is an act of love." Craig Claiborne

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VIII.

"Lily Beresford!"

Lily had rehearsed what she was going to say to her family. She had already practised on the driver who had come to collect her from Brunswick Street. She needed a plausible story as she was in quite a state.

After his shock and anger had briefly waned, Mr McCarthy had offered to summon a doctor to look over Lily for any signs of injury. But save for a badly bruised ego and a terrible fright, Lily did not feel as though she had suffered any permanent harm.

Her aunt and Maria were both in the entry foyer when Lily returned home that afternoon, and they were given a full view of the spectacle that Lily had made of herself.

Lily was certainly filthy. Her dress was stained grey and black from the smoke in the room and every inch of her smelt of the fire. She had not caught her reflection as yet, but judging by the colour of her hands, she knew that her face would be far from clean.

The look on her aunt's face made Lily long for her mother. Claire looked so much like Grace, and seeing someone so similar to her mother, without being her, hurt Lily in that moment. She had been terrified after her efforts to stifle the fire had only made things worse.

Lily was not certain if she feared for her life in that moment. Had the thought crossed her mind that she might die? She didn't know. But the fear that she was being punished for her deception certainly did. It was as though God was chastising her.

But Lily had had ample time to think and to re-evaluate her decisions throughout the day, and she thought back to the instinct that she had felt when Mr McCarthy had angrily tried to dismiss her. It was the absolute last thing that Lily wanted. She wasn't ready to give up this freedom. She had made this decision to venture out into the world for a reason, and she had many lessons to learn.

This was a very important one, apparently.

Lily had decided to be as honest as she could about the fire without incriminating herself. She figured that was a way to bend the rules around the sin a little. Perhaps her logic was entirely warped, but it made sense to her in that moment.

Claire seized hold of Lily's face between her hands and appraised her seriously with furrowed brows. "What on earth has happened to you? Are you well? Maria, ring the bell. We must have the doctor sent for immediately. Lord, the smell of smoke. What has happened?" Claire stressed.

Before her cousin could scurry away to obey her mother's command, Lily caught her. "Maria, wait!"

Maria paused, peering back at Lily with a look of confusion.

"I am well, I promise," Lily assured them. "I know I do not look like it, or smell like it, but I am. I tried to make a pot of tea today ... and I ended up causing a small fire."

It was the truth. Mostly.

"You started a fire?" Claire exclaimed.

"Making tea?" added Maria with an equal tone of alarm.

"Nobody was hurt, and thankfully it was brought under control quite quickly, but as you see, I am in need of a bath."

Claire released Lily after a moment and seemed to accept her story with a slow nod. That did not alleviate her concern, however. "Why were you making tea?"

"I was attempting to widen my skillset and I wanted to make a pot for my tutor. Foolishly, I asked myself, 'how hard can it be?'" Again, it was the truth. Mostly.