Skyler's POV
'SKYYYYE WHAT'S FOR BREAKFAST.'
He's been calling me Skye for a week now.
'EGGS AND BACON, GET THE FUCK UP OFF YOUR LAZY ASS'
'YOU'RE NOT MY MOM'
He walks out into the kitchen, his tank top stained with white toothpaste, and sits at the kitchen counter.
I serve him his food.
'Mm, good stuff.'
He eats literally every little morsel and crumb of food on the plate. He opens the fridge and grabs some orange juice.
'There's really no point in you having your own apartment if you're here all the time.'
'I bathe over there, my clothes and weapons are there.'
'Oh, I don't mind you bathing with me.'
'Huh?' GOD IM SUCH AN IDIOT.
'God, you're such an idiot.'
'Thanks for voicing it.'
'When's the next killing spree?'
'Not for a while now, the General survived, obviously, and told my Dad what happened. If I attack another one of his employees, he'll get mad. He would've done something if Tomer was dear to him, but he isn't. I'm gonna let him cool off a bit for now.'
'Alright.'
'Sooo, um, my friend, Kristin is coming over to my apartment to see how I'm doing.'
'You have friends? Are you sure she's not imaginary?'
'I'm sure.'
'So when is she coming?'
'This afternoon.'
'BUT IT'S 12 NOON.'
'Yeah. I know.'
'It IS aftern-'
The bell rings, and I get up to open the door.
'HIIIII SKYE, WHATS UP BABYGIRL YOUR APARTMENT WAS EMPTY SO I CAME HERE.'
'How did she know you could be here?' Joshua asks me.
Kristin interrupts him before he can continue spewing out more questions. 'OK GIVE ME A TOUR.'
'How much coffee did you have, Kris?'
'Let's say I had to wait at the drive-thru for like half an hour.'
'You're crazy.' I tell her.
I proceed to give her a tour of the entire house, while simultaneously cleaning up the mess Joshua has made.
'So you live here?'
'No-'
'Come on, don't lie now, you do live here.' Joshua shouts from the kitchen.
'Ok, about him.' Kristin lowers her voice. 'So like, I came in because I heard you screaming while I came up the stairs, but you didn't tell me you were living with a dude.'
'I'm not LIVING with him, I'm living next to him. He asked me to move, so I did.'
'Just like that? Since when have YOU been following advice, or even requests?'
'I just didn't see my loss in it.'
'Are you sleeping with him?'
'Yes- I mean NO, I mean.' I sigh, 'it's hard to explain.'
'YOU'RE SLEEPING WITH HIM?'
'HEUFBHJKEQHOID NO, I'M NOT SLEEPING WITH HIM, IM JUST SHARING A BED WITH HIM.'
'BABE THATS THE SAME THING.'
'NO ITS NOT WHATDOYOUMEAN GIRL'
'HAUOWEFWNRAGIDSHJKSSAHDEFE I-ARE YOU LIKE CRAZY? YOU FIND A RANDOM DUDE AND SHACK UP WITH HIM? JUST LIKE THAT?'
'BFFBJDS IT'S NOT LIKE THAT, HES NOT SKETCHY. Even though he's surprisingly good at fighting and human psychology.'
'Skyler, honey. My dear.' She puts a hand on my shoulder. 'You're delusional.'
'PFHAFJEDKB NO IM NOT.'
Joshua walks in. 'What are you guys doing in the store room?'
Kristin smiles. 'Alright, what are you plannin- OHMIGOD IS THAT A TWILIGHT SPARKLE POSTER?' She screams. Kristin's always been obsessed with My Little Pony. Since she was 6, and now that she's 19.
Joshua, apparently is ALSO a brony. It makes me want to bang my head on a wall. Apparently, now she'd found a My Little Pony poster in the store room.
'OHMIGOD YES ARE YOU A BRONY?' He screams like a little girl.
He scoffs. 'AM, I, A, BRONY?'
Kristin looks at him confused 'ARE YOU?'
'YES!'
'WHO'S YOUR FAVOURITE PONY?
Joshua's POV
The biggest My Little Pony festival was to be held a few miles from Bridstoke, and I even had someone to go with me!
'Do you really have to go there?' Skye asks me annoyed.
'Aww, are you gonna miss me?'
'I sure as hell will not miss the odor you leave everywhere you go OR the mess you spread all over your house.'
'Come on, you're just jealous I stole your best friend.'
'NO IM NOT'
'Sure, sure.'
'I'm still mad you made me take off my cosplay.'
'There's still glitter everywhere around the house AND on you AND on me AND on Kris and she's living in MY apartment.'
Kris bursts into the house.
'MY LITTLE PONYYY' a voice shouts from the other side of the house.
I jump and runs towards it.
'MY LITTLE PONYYYYYYYY'
'WHAT WILL TODAY'S ADVENTURE BEE?' she shouts back.
'You guys do this bullshit every time Kris comes into the house.'
We sing the entire intro.
I can't believe my eyes, Kris is dressed as Big McIntosh. With a green apple painted on her face and everything.
'YOU'RE DRESSED AS MCINTOSH?!'
'HAHAHAHHA YES.'
'SKYE DIDNT EVEN LET ME WEAR MY COSPLAY.'
'You could've gone a little easier on the glitter, little bro.' She pats me on the shoulder which is weird because she's only a little taller than Skyler and short in front of me.
'AAJOEINAWOJDEIOFHÆ IT DOESN'T MATTER NOW LET'S GOOO.'
'BYE SKYEE' Kris shouts, waving at a very annoyed Skyler. I'll deal with her later.
We reach the convention eventually, after we get kicked out by our Uber driver for singing the MLP theme song for an hour and a half straight.
'IT'S MAGICAL!' Kris screams.
'YOU BET.'
'EEUOWHFAJWFHËDHA LET'S GO IN THERE BROTHER.'
'YEAE.' We frolic over to the entry gate and the guard gives us a dirty look but we still go in.
Kris gasps. 'J-MAN ARE YOU SEEING THIS?'
I scream in delight 'PRINCESS LUNA! SIGN MY FOREHEADD!'
We frolic around the whole day and eat a week's worth of cotton candy. When we finally come back home, Skyler is standing at the door, with hellfire in her eyes.
'KRISTIN.'
'Now now, Skye, babe, calm down.' Kris says panicked.
'WHO GAVE YOU THE WONDERFUL IDEA OF PAINTING MY LITTLE PONY CHARACTERS ON MY FAVOURITE BAG?'
'I was, uh, it's a gift!'
'Let's have a little chat, shall we?'
They both disappear into her apartment, which gives me time to change and wear my normal clothes.
A few minutes later, Skyler comes back, with a scowl on her face.
'What happened?'
'Shut up.'
I stare at her.
'I can and WILL fuck that attitude out of you, Skyler.'
She opens her mouth to say something, but stops mid-way.
'Now tell me what happened.'
'She painted Princess Celestia on my favourite bag.'
I try not to snicker. It was my idea.
'It's okay, I'll buy you a new one.'
She looks at me with delight.
'YOU WILL?'
'I will.'
She jumps at me, lying on the couch and gives me a hug.
'Ok, ok get off. That passionate for a bag?'
Then I realize she smells like whiskey. Sober Skyler would never voluntarily come within 1 foot of me. It's more fun for me when she puts up a fight anyway, I win every time.
I pick her up and take her to the bedroom, but she fights me as I try.
'I WILL EAT YOUR MY LITTLE PONY FIGURINES, YOU BIG APE. PUT ME DOWN.'