I wasn't going to update today but I missed y'all so here you go <3
Chapter 43
Thursday November 3rd
Lennon's POV
"Look! A duck!" Theo exclaimed happily, pointing it out to Harry and I. The two of us and all of the kids were on a little stroll around the neighborhood so we could get out of the house for a bit. It's been hard to think of activities for us all to do together since we both want to keep Harry's presence unnoticed, and it's boring to just constantly feel like we're stuck inside the house. Also, whenever Harry comes over, Theo just plays independently rather than with him so there isn't much bonding happening regardless.
I also get nervous about taking all of the kids out by myself just because there's a number of things that could go wrong, and I feel like since Hudson's accident I've truly realized how much anything can happen and change your life within moments. I try not to risk it, but sometimes it's unavoidable.
We ate pasta that I had made for dinner, with Harry, and then decided to go on a little neighborhood walk. It's weird to think that tomorrow would mark 3 months since Harry showed up again.
It's even weirder to think about the fact that 3 months ago today, I was just busy with the kids and my grief completely unaware to the events that would happen the next day. If someone had told me that a curly hair British man that left me and I haven't spoken to in years was going to be appearing on my doorstep the next evening, I would have never believed it.
But here we are, celebrating events and taking walks with him.
Life is truly unpredictable.
Lia started babbling at the duck once she got her eyes on it, and I smiled.
"You see the duck baby?" I cooed at her.
"I love ducks" Theo commented, joining us back on the sidewalk so we could continue our walk.
"That's very cool baby" I hummed. I was pushing the twins, and Harry was walking slightly behind Theo so he was close enough if he needed to be.
"Momma!" Theo gasped, stopping in his tracks and slapping both his hands against his cheeks. He bent over to get a closer look at whatever he was so excited over, but I couldn't see anything.
"What is it teddy?" I stopped behind him.
"A worm!" Theo shrieked and tried to poke it with his finger.
"Oh!" I gasped.
"Can we keep it?!" Theo jumped up and down, looking at me with pleading eyes.
I love you Theo, but there's no way I'm having a pet worm.
"Oh..buddy I think the worm likes to be outdoors" I tried to dissuade him.
"But he can be fwiends wif Mr. Worm!" Theo continued, coming over to me and tugging on my shirt. "Pleaseee"
"Baby we can't just take animals from their homes" I ran my fingers through his curls.
Theo looked around. "I no see a house"
"Worms live outside" I told him. "C'mon we can stop at the park on the way home"
Luckily, my bribery worked and we were waving goodbye to the worm. We approached the park a couple minutes later and Theo took off running to the rock climb wall, and Harry and I sat on one of the benches with the twins.
"Olivia wants me to announce my role in the film in January" Harry spoke up.
"Who is Olivia?"
"Director" Harry shoved his hands in his sweatshirt pocket.
"Ah" I nodded my head. "Well... it's whatever you want to do. Not my movie" I told him honestly. If he wanted to announce his stardom in the New Year, then that's his choice. I can't hold him back from doing that if that's something he also wants to do.
"I don't think I want to" Harry denied.
"Why's that?"
"I kind of like the secret we have here. Your parents won't say anything, right?" Harry furrowed his eyebrows.
"They haven't so far, so probably not" I shrugged, giving him my best guess.
"It's just... I grew up doing that since I was young, and I love it. But it's kind of nice to live a little normal again. Even the last few years, I was in hiding so it still wasn't right, but I don't know. Getting to see Theo like this just feels good, I don't want to ruin it yet. And I also want to respect you guys" Harry explained.
"It was difficult back then. I won't lie, it's been nice not seeing our names plastered everywhere. Or cameras in our faces. Theo would've been used to it had he grown up with it, but it would be weird for him now" I agreed with him.
"It's sort of inevitable though, yeah?" Harry commented, and I knew exactly what he meant. One day, in the near future, Harry's role is going to be announced and all of the chaos and stardom will come rushing back. Harry's name will probably be everywhere, and social media is going to tear through his life once again. They'll find out about his contact with me, and then the same searching will be done regarding my life.
The media will find out about the twins and make it a big story, probably twisting it all that Harry is here raising extras that aren't his because my fiancé died, and his savior role will be blasted.
Gosh, it already sounds exhausting.
"We'll just keep it to ourselves as much as we can, and share only what we want" I decided, slightly uneasy about the day that this will happen.
"We tried that before"
"We'll try harder" I said, determined. I've said before that now that the flashing lights and cameras are gone, I feel different about it. However, this is what Harry comes with. I've known that since the day that I met him what I would be setting myself up with.
"She told me to think about January, but I'm going to tell her no. My original plan was geared towards April"
"Whatever you can make work" I pursed my lips, and glanced over at Theo who was going up and down the slides. "And handle"
"I'm not going anywhere" Harry looked at me, a serious look in his eyes.
I took a deep breath. Was I confident in Harry sticking around and not ditching us purposely again? I don't know. Right now everything seems to be going well, besides my parents, but if there is one thing that I've learned it's that when I think thinks are okay, anything can change.
"Okay. We should head back now, it's getting dark. Theo, 5 minutes bub" I gave Theo his warning so he'd be ready to leave when it was time.
Theo used his last 5 minutes to swing on the swingset, and then we began the walk back home. Once inside, I got to work on making the babies their bottles, Harry watched, and Theo ran off to go play in his room.
I got the twins situated in their bouncers with their night time bottles, and I left Harry to keep an eye on them while I went to Theo's room. I found him digging through his pajama drawer for something to sleep in.
"Cars!" Theo determined, yanking his red patterned car pajamas from the drawer. "Help"
I grabbed his arm and pulled him over to me, and he laughed as he fell down into my lap. I took off his dirty clothes and changed him into his PJ's.
"I not tired momma" Theo told me.
"You can watch one show, it's not your bedtime yet baby" I pushed his hair out of his eyes. "C'mon"
I gave him a piggy back ride to the living room, his giggles erupting when I playfully threw him down onto the couch. I helped him put on an episode of Paw Patrol and cuddled under a blanket, and then I went to the kitchen to be with the twins.
Walking in, I found Lia still drinking happily in her bouncer, but Harry was now cradling Atticus in his arms and holding the bottle for him.
"He was fussy" Harry shrugged.
"Sorry, want me to take him?" I asked, and outstretched my arms.
"I'm good with him" Harry smiled.
I knew he would say that, but I figured I'd offer anyways. I don't exactly want Harry to feel like he has to help out with anything that doesn't involve Theo. The twins, the house, the mess, that's all things he keeps offering to help me with, but he's not here to be that figure. He's allowed to just solely focus on Theo.
"Okay" I nodded. "Theo's watching TV"
"Sounds good"
The twins finished up their bottles and that's when I took Atti from Harry so I could put them down for the night. They both fussed a little, which was slightly unusual but it wasn't too bad so they still fell asleep decently quick. Harry and I ended up watching the rest of Theo's episode with him, and then it was time to put him to bed as well.
"Say bye to Harry, bud" I hoisted Theo up onto my hip.
"Bye bye" Theo waved.
"Bye buddy" Harry smiled. "Sweet dreams"
I took Theo to my room and read him two stories, and tucked him in with a kiss to his forehead as usual. "I love you to the moon and back"
"Moon and back" Theo repeated, our daily routine.
I snuggled with him for a few moments before he was out like a light and I could sneak out of the room back to Harry. He was right where I left him, comfortably lounging on the couch scrolling through his phone.
"3 for 3 are out" I celebrated, and sat down across from him on one of the chairs.
"Congratulations" Harry chuckled.
"Thanks"
"Theo sleeps in your bed, right?" Harry asked, setting his phone down and looking at me.
"Yeah, why?"
"Don't you think he should move back into his room?"
I stared at him.
"I just think it could be good for him" Harry continued.
I crossed my arms across my chest. "I think the best place for him is where he feels safe"
"I know, but-"
"Don't you remember the part of our agreement where parenting choices are made by me? I do what I think is good for Theo, and that's what I'm going to continue to do Harry" I got defensive.
First my parents think that my choice of having Harry around isn't a good one, and now the person I defended wants to question something regarding the choices I make for Theo? I question my parenting abilities just fine on my own, I don't need any of them trying to do it for me.
"It was just a question Lennon"
"I feel like you're getting too comfortable. I want you to stick around for Theo, and I feel like I've compromised my boundaries to ensure you don't leave again. I was never planning on you being here on his birthday, or on a holiday. It was so soon, he only met you a month and a half ago. That wasn't supposed to happen, but I let it because the thought of you becoming discouraged with Theo's progress scared me into thinking you would disappear again. I feel like I've let down a lot of walls so quickly to make this work for the two of you, so please don't sit here and try to question me" I explained to him, trying to stick up for myself.
What I said was the absolute truth. When I agreed to let Harry be in Theo's life, I never pictured it having him here celebrating birthdays or holidays so soon. Down the line, I would be open to it without a doubt. However, right now I simply allowed it because Harry's disappointment and my parent's disapproval made me feel guilty and I wavered.
I just don't want Harry to think that just because I've allowed certain things to happen, that it means all the boundaries I set in place are thrown out the window forever.
"Okay.. I'm sorry" Harry bit his lip. "I'll lay off"
"Thank you" I told him, sincerely.
"I'll head out. Get some sleep"
"You too" I stood up to walk him to the door. I didn't want to make things awkward, but I just felt like I had to say something right then. I know he won't let it affect anything though.
I watched Harry walk to his car and give a little wave, and then I headed back to my bedroom for another night of restless sleep.
If anyone else started college classes today (or this week) hope a surprise update made your day better, and good luck this semester!! We'll be suffering together 🤍
Xoxo
Sierra