My hands and legs are uncontrollably shaking as I continue to feel the vibration of Tyson's cries against my back. The tightness and firmness of his hug from my behind can be very felt yet still wasn't enough to stop my body from trembling abnormally. His loud cries sounded so real yet pathetic. Pathetic in a way that I, for one, had witnessed how he was as a person, and this hilarious crying of him is so unbelievable and very far and out of his character. It's almost as if he's acting in a soap opera. Kahit kanina pang nasa loob kami, nagmumukha talaga siyang umaarte at ang sarap sarap niyang tawanan!
Ang sarap sarap niyang pag-tawanan sa mismong pagmumukha niya pero putang ina, ang mabigat na bikig sa lalamunan ko at ang nag-mamakaawang maka-agos na mga luha ko ay masyadong matibay at malakas kaya hindi ko tila magawang isa-aksyon ang mga bagay na tumatakbo sa utak ko at mga iba pang gusto kong gawin.
I don't know how I could still afford to have such tempting reaction to him after all these years of loathing him to death. After all the curses, wishes of bad karma, and swearing to never ever feel anything again for this man have all come crumbling down like an old fragile Victorian building.
Ilang beses ko na siyang paulit-ulit na pinatay, sinaktan, at binasura sa isipan ko simula noon at alam na alam kong kung darating man ang araw na makikita ko siyang muli, ay talagang walang wala na ang dating epekto niya sa'kin.
That I would absolutely have lost it all already when the time comes. That I'm totally over him and everything about him. And that I'm definitely not going to have even the slightest sign of relapse at all. I'd just be all the way a changed, powerful, and grown woman that I thrived to be.
But I don't know... I don't know if it's because, although, I have always been half-hearted about seeing him again, always had been torn between 'being scared' and 'caring less' if I'd ever really meet him again, but still never have I ever thought about finally seeing him again in a very unexpected time, setting, and in such a very drunk state.
Hinding-hindi ko inisip at inasahan na makikita ko siyang muli nang napaka-unguarded at carefree ko lang! Again, off all fucking times?!
And I hate how fate could be doing this to me right now. How it's playing with my whole being. How it tries and tests me. With me having little to no defense. Fuck.
I hate it because, with me, being this overwhelmed and unguarded, while being with this man whom have finally got a hold of me while annoyingly crying, makes me feel so weak and hopeless. So troubled and shaken. And fuck it! I expected better! From myself! From all of this fucking thing. This is definitely not what I wanted it to be!
I clenched my jaw again and took a deep breath. Swiftly reminding myself of what I did and said to him inside that room. I could have done better but that wasn't bad either, at least. Nasimulan ko na. You already did something, Apple. All you have to do is to just fucking man up and continue what you have started with him earlier! If he wants it, then give it to him. Serve what's needed to be served.
With all the forced strength and passion I was able to muster, I turned my body so fast that it loosen up his hug on me. Bahagya siyang napaatras nang tuluyan akong napa-harap sakaniya.
With red and wet eyes, runny red nose, and pinkish drunk cheeks, he looked up at me. Pa-putol putol siyang humihinga habang patuloy na humahagulhol nang mahina at baritono.
"B... I'm beg—"
I did not let him finish begging again and forcefully gave him another, I lost count now, hard and sharp slap. Napa-baling ang mukha niya sa kanan niya at kitang kita ko ang ngayo'y pag-haplos niya na sa pisngi niya. Tila tuluyan nang tinatablan nang sakit. Kahit na ba'y kanina ko pa siya pinag-sasampal sa loob at hindi man lang natitinag, ngunit ngayo'y tuluyan nang nang-hina at unti-unting nakaka-ramdam ng hapdi.
"Ang kapal ng mukha mo! Ang taas ng apog mo! Baliw kang tarantado ka! Sira ulo ka! Sirang sira ka putang ina! Hayop ka!" I spat those so fast that I was gasping for air after it. I saw him timidly caress his left cheek and turned his ridiculous crying face to me again. Tinitingala ako. Ignoring the hard and stingy slap.
"Buttercup, no, shh... I know... I know. You're angry. You're angry and I understand it because you didn't know. You didn't know what happened to me and I'm sorry—"
"Sorry? Talaga, sorry? Sorry para saan? Para sa lahat nang pangga-gago mo? Pangga-gamit mo? Pang-lalarong ginawa mo? Putang ina, hinding hindi ko tatanggapin iyang inutil na sorry mo!" I continued to overpower every lies and bullshits that are coming out and may yet to come out of his dirty mouth again.
Ang ideyang pinag-aaksayahan ko talaga ng panahon ang gagong 'to ay sobrang nakaka-inis! Because seriously, what's more to Tyson Echiverri aside from being a compulsive liar, manipulative, and an expert and trained cheater? None. And here he is, really having the audacity to think I have time for his bullshits. The fuck!
He gulped and breathed for air through his mouth. No longer sobbing but still shedding silent tears on his drunk and pinkish cheeks.
"Please, B, I ask of you, hear me out. Hear Tyty— out..." He hiccuped like a baby in the midst of his sentence and I instantly had to shut my eyes so so tight after seeing that image of him. And after what he said sunk into me.
Fuck. Putang ina, Apple! Huwag na huwag mo akong bibiguin! Apple Neone! Tumibay ka! Mag-hunos dili ka! Gumising ka! This is the fight that you've trained so hard to be strong for since then. You cannot afford to disintegrate in the middle of this fucking war! Not now! Not ever again!
"Pakiusap, B... Makinig ka lang muna. Sasabihin ko sa'yo lahat lahat. Pero pakiusap, huwag ka lang ulit tumakbo... Huwag mo ulit ako takbuhan... It makes me scared, Buttercup... so scared..." He resumed sobbing again. The amount of thick and real tears coming out of his turmoiled eyes is unbelievable. Napaka-galing. Napaka-tuso. Napaka-talino. To be able to master this level of manipulation and scheming is insane... Just pure evilness.
Not only that, to be able to sound so genuinely hurt and in pain, is another whole level of talent and audacity. All that just to fucking try to fool his former fool again. And play with my life like it's just a piece of shit to him.
"I can't afford seeing you run away from me again, Apple... I've lost you long enough. Your loss scarred and traumatized me hard enough. Please, just stay still and don't run, as I say these things to you." He tightened his arms' hold around my waist. Not even bothering to wipe his wet cheeks. Ano pa nga ba't dagdag effect din iyon, 'di ba? How ridiculous this sick in the head man really looks and sound right now, tss. Kadiri. Sobra.
"Whatever you have to fucking say, keep it! I don't give a fuck. I've gotten rid of you well and long enough too. Now let me fucking keep it that way." Sigaw ko sabay malakas na tulak sakaniya. Napa-upo siya sa semento at bahagyang napa-bitiw sa'kin ngunit agad agad at natataranta na parang isdang nakawala sa tubig niya akong inabot muli at niyakap nang mahigpit. He cried like an infant again.
"Utang na loob, B! Stop it, please. Stop trying to do it again."
"Ang kapal kapal talaga ng mukha mo! The guts to ask such thing from me the exact way you do it before so fucking disrespectfully! I'm not a toy that you can store and play with inhumanely, you fucking bastard! I refused to be within the corners of your fucking words again. I even despise to be held and touched by you again! Diring diri ako sa'yo, Tyson! Diring diri!" I screamed so hard that I felt light headed afterwards.
I no longer even care about who's watching ang listening to us right now. I wasn't prepared to be confronted and caught by this satanic creature tonight but if it's confrontation that he wants, then I would gladly reciprocate!
I saw how his lips pouted like a baby. Like what I said triggered him to feel like crying again. Since when did this asshole become such a crybaby? We'rent you all tough, masculine, dominant, alpha male, huh, Tyson Matheus? What happened to your spoiled rotten ass?
"Oh, wow... Hah. That stings a lot." He humorlessly chuckled and looked away and softly wiped his tears off his bloodshot eyes. And then smirked lifelessly.
Na para bang natatawa siya sa sarili niya at sa panahon kung saan niya natatagpuan ang sarili ngayon. He sniffed and looked at me again. Mapungay ang mga mata niya habang naka-titig sa'kin nang ilang segundo bago niya isinandal ang noo niya sa puson ko at yumuko. He's looking down the cemented floor now and kept on catching his breath.
"I've just got buried by that, Buttercup. For countless of times since you left me, you successfully killed me with that after years of hopelessly looking forward to seeing you again..."
Mabilis at tahimik ang mga kamay kong sinalubong ang papa-tulong luha sa kaliwang mata ko at nang napahid iyon ay nag-patuloy akong matigas at taas noong naka-tingin sa kawalan. No longer giving the pathetic soul any attention despite how good he is in putting up a show. On bended knees. With head held down.
"Ang s-sakit... B." Basag na boses ang sumunod kong narinig at kahit pigil na pigil na ako kanina pa, hindi ko na-iwasang ma-yanig sa narinig ko.
Simula kanina nang marahas at galit niya akong hinila mula sa kasayawang lalaki, nag-simula siyang maging tunog galit, malakas, maangas, at matapang.
Hanggang sa unti unting nang-hina, nanginig, at tumangis kinalaunan. Napa-pikit ako nang mariin sa sunod na na-iisip.
Pero putang ina, ang marinig siyang pumiyok at mabasag ngayon ay labis na labis na umantig sa sistema ko. To hear him confess his pain and how I put him in so much greater pain is like knowing and hearing that he's reached his peak and limit already.
Na para bang ang tibay tibay niyang hinahawakan at pinananatili ang emosyon at sarili niya simula kanina, ngunit ang makitang tinatakbuhan ko ulit siya'y labis na yumanig sa kontrol niya...
At ngayon... Ngayong matapos marinig at madama ang masasakit at walang awang mga salita at insulto mula sa'kin, ay tila tuluyan niya nang nabitawan ang kapit niya sa lahat nang nagpapa-tino sakaniya.
In my entire pursuit and the decent time that I had spent with Tyson back then, not once did I ever witness him falter like this. He had always been a very strong figure to me and definitely to other people too. And to see and hear him this weak, defeated, and affected is a sight to behold.
I looked away and tried to maintain a straight and cold gaze at the blur image of the club's carpark ahead. Choosing to disregard that very pathetic attention to detail and ignore the painful crack of his baritone voice. The weakest baritone I've ever heard from him.
I smiled satisfyingly and sarcastically to prevent myself from being affected again. Kahit na ba'y sa purong kawalan lamang ako ngumingiti at sumasalamin ito sa kung gaano ka walang laman ang pagdiriwang kong ito ay nanatili pa rin akong nag-mamatigas.
"G-god... How I'd do it just to turn back time and be a better Tyty for you, Buttercup, I'd do it in a heartbeat. Just to undo all those that I've said to you before. All the wrongs that I did..." He drawled in a very slow and shaking voice. I continued to kill myself by painfully trying to keep my fake strong facade and posture. You just cannot, Apple... You just cannot.
"Just so I won't be hearing them from you right now. Fuck, Buttercup, it feels so bad..."
I scoffed and directed my glaring eyes at him.
"Umpisa pa lang 'yan, Tyson. Hindi ka pa nakakakalahati sa katarantaduhang ginawa mo sa'kin. And I could give them all back to you right now in just one sitting because I don't intend to involve myself in your drama for long, at all. I'd strongly manifest for this to be our very last encounter again and nothing mor—"
"Tang ina, Apple Neone, pakiusap! Ayokong makipag-away sa'yo. Ayoko, B! I missed you so much and I'm sorry for going ballistic earlier! I swear I didn't want that for our first meeting again after many years. Pero tang ina, nahihirapan ako, B, sa tuwing sinusubukan at nag-babanta kang layasan ulit ako! Nababaliw ako, B! Nabobobo ako pagdating sa'yo!" He spat— still looking so poor, facing the cemented floor.
"Matagal ka nang baliw, Tyson! Matagal ka nang bobo! Napaka bobo mo noon pa kaya kahit punong-puno at halos paliguan ka na ng tunay at marahang pagmamahal, eh bobong mas pinili mo pa ring itapon at ipag-palit iyon sa libog mo! Sa hang ups mo sa ex mo! At sa kagustuhan mong makabalik sa Eurie mo! Kaya kinantot mo, sa loob ng kwarto natin, matapos mo akong paniwalaing umalis ka ng bansa para mag-trabaho! 'Di ba?!"
I lost the cold and condescending demeanor that I worked so hard for since earlier and looked down on him to scream at the back of his head. To scream all of that pent up baggage and grudge to him. All the silently and painfully kept confrontational thoughts. And I heaved a very deep sigh after it as if something very heavy was lifted off of my back.
I was so ready and focused on any reaction from him but instead, all he did was to hug my legs even tighter and started to sob deeply again. He then shook his head repeatedly.
"N-no... No. No... Buttercup. No..." He started to hiccup again, like a lost young boy crying and looking for his family. I remained strong and unaffected. At least, that's what I think I'm exactly doing right now.
"H-hindi, B... Hindi totoo... 'Yun. Hindi totoo 'yun, B." He sobbed in a very childlike manner.
"Hindi?! Kitang kita ng dalawang mga mata ko, ang punyetang tite mong naglalabas masok sa puke nung pinakamamahal mo? At sarap na sarap ka pa! Kayong dalawa! Tang ina niyo, pinaalis niyo lang ako! Ni hindi man lang kayo sumubok na itago nang maayos at talagang sa mismong kwarto pa natin! Sa m-mismong kama pa natin, Tyson!"
I shut my eyes so tight after getting my voice cracked, shamefully, against my will. The desire to appear and sound strong has never been this wild. And I've practiced how to act and look strong for years. And there's no better time to act it and bring it to life but now. Now is the right time for it. I'll give him a show he rightfully deserves!
"Sasabihin mo sa'king hindi gayong damang dama at alalang-alala ko pa kung paano kita puno nang pagmamahal na hinalikan at hinatid papunta sa byahe mo para lang sa huli eh masaksihan kang may kinakantot na iba sa mismong bahay natin! Kung paano ako nagamit lamang na parang sirang tulay para maabot at makuha mong muli ang babaeng pinaka-mamahal mo! At kung paano rin ako, sa prosesong iyon, nagawang traydorin at saktan ng mga sarili kong kaibigan! Ha?!"
I am literally shouting at his humbly held down head on my abdomen. I harshly wiped the sneaky thick tears that got away from my eyes and tried to kick him away using my right leg. Ngunit parang alon lamang ang katawan niyang sumabay at nanatiling naka-kapit sa'kin.
"How your equally sick in the head best buddy harassed and violated me! All at the same night, you fucking bastard! All of you ganged up on someone that did nothing but love all of you! Nang walang kalaban-laban! You all chose to break me and ruined my whole life right at the very place where I'm supposed to be protected! And loved! But no! You chose what you did and you're gonna face the consequences no matter what. Do you hear me?!" Gigil kong sinabunutan ang maiksi niyang buhok sa likod.
I saw how he endured it like nothing and just renewed his hug on me. I let out a disgusted laugh upon noticing how he can easily endure physical attacks from me but would cry like a baby everytime it's verbal.
Kaya huminga na lamang ako nang malalim at napag-desisyunang itigil na ang pisikal na pananakit sakaniya. It's not resulting any damage on him. It's useless. At kanina ko pa siya binubugbog and I hate how I suddenly engaged in such physical assaults when I'm never even one my entire life to begin with.
It's the verbal and hard truth attacks of his evilness that he's evidently and mostly affected with. So that's where I'll proceed in causing him pain and damage. Giving him back all that I felt since the day I rode that bus to Baler.
"Kaya hindi ikaw, at wala sainyo, ang may karapatang sabihin sa aking hindi totoo iyon! I've had enough of your bullshit gaslighting, Echiverri! I've had enough of you! Everything about you! Sinusuka na kita! Sukang suka na ako sa'yo! Matagal na!" I continued.
I saw how his broad and muscled shoulder blades fell down and how his massive body crouched— showing loss of strength. Nang akmang naramdaman ko ang pag-luwag nang kapit niya sa beywang ko ay mabilis at buong pwersa akong umatras mula sakaniya at halos makawala na talaga ako.
Ngunit ang mahahaba at maskulado niyang mga kamay at braso ay nahila pa rin ako pabalik. He rose up from crouching and stood both on his knees now. With his face leveling my breast and his arms, encircling my waist.
Nalukot ang mukha niya at naiiyak na umiiling sa'kin. He's looking up at me like I'm some God that he so religiously worship. Begging for forgiveness and new chance. And he's definitely not getting those from a Goddess like me. Ever.
"I'm so sorry, my Buttercup, hmm? I'm sorry you had to go through that alone. Without me. I'm sorry I failed to protect you from them. I will forever bring that painful regret of not being able to defend and secure you, B. I'm sorry for failing to protect us both..." Nabasag muli ang boses niya. I tried so hard to avoid his poor and hurting blood shot eyes looking up at me. Nagsusumamo. At halos nanlalambing.
Bullshit. And just what the fuck is he saying now?!
"I was ganged up too... I was betrayed too, Buttercup. And all my life I always reigned supreme and powerful, but they got me drowned that night... and so deadly intoxicated, causing me to lose sanity and was left powerless, in the same very damn time you needed my protection... You needed me strong for you."
"Oh, you shut up, Echiverri. Stop trying to sound all poetic now, crazy asshole! Ang korny mo tangina ka para malaman mo! I can't believe how an arrogantly proud alpha man like you could downgrade so much very quickly! You're now even stooping this low just to play your manipulation game again. And fuck you for that!" I rudely cut him off in the middle of his little sweet lie telling. He gulped and continued to look at me with weeping tender eyes.
"My Buttercup, I'm sorry... I couldn't stand up for us and protect us that night... I needed protection t-too..." He whispered the last word and something tugged at my numb heart. Shit. A sudden wave of energy that feels so negative and heavy surged through my bones. It's as if I'm smelling my own trauma.
"Maniwala ka, B, gustong gusto kong ibalik ang gabing iyon at hindi na tumuloy pa para hindi ka nila nasaktan. I wished to have firmly declined my traitor friend's offer to have some sip of whisky only to be stabbed in the back and end up waking up to a cold bed and beside an almost stranger woman. Not my Apple... Not my B... Not you." He wiped his eyes using his right hand while the other remained hugging me. Takot na takot iwanan.
"And I hated that memory so much, B... The memory of waking up without seeing your face buried on my chest. Your short hair... Spread out and sticking on my arm... That night took life out of me, Apple. It took my Buttercup away from me. And with that, I beg to correct you, but this 'sick in the head' man had never and could never cheat on you, Buttercup..." He said and paused, wiping another tears again.
"Not when I'm already so fucking in love with you..." He lost his voice at the end and kissed my chest.
Nagsi-tindigan lahat nang balahibo ko sa katawan. My heart was beating so fast out of anger since he dragged me into that room and up to now that we got here. But now, it's beating so hard, fast, and precise... From a place I would never dare name at all anymore.
He gently pulled his lips from my chest and stared at me with eyes sparkling with so much gentleness, understanding, and pleading appeal. Nanlalambing. At nagsusumamo.
"Kaya hindi, B... I didn't cheat on you. I may be a lot of things and a crazy asshole like you say now but I would never waste all of those special moments I had with you just for an irrelevant and ill intentioned person from the past. A past that you saved me from..." He slowly displayed a smile but the pain from his face did not fail to show up alongside it.
"Kaya uulitin ko... hindi, B. Hindi ko magagawa iyon. Hindi iyon magagawa ni Tyty..."
I had to look away when I heard that. Fuck. I couldn't even remember the last time I uttered that endearment. And fuck him for perfectly knowing where and how to attack me! Napaka-husay talaga na tuso!
Gigil na gigil kong pinag-babangga ang mga ngipin ko para lang pigilan ang sarili. What say you fucking now, Apple Neone! Galaw!
"Hindi iyon magagawa ng Tyty mo... I'm your Tyty, right? I am no one else's Tyty but my Buttercup's only... Hmm..." He hummed.
Buong pwersa ko siyang tinulak nang hindi ko na kinaya at ramdam na ramdam ko na talaga ang pag-amba ng kahinaan sa kalooban ko. It caught him off guard and I successfully got away from his hold.
Natataranta at hindi magkumahog siyang tumatayo mula sa pagkaka-luhod at mariin pa akong napa-pikit nang matumba siya mula siguro sa lango ng alak at pekeng emosyon.
Nakita ko kung paano unang tumama ang nguso niya sa semento nang natumba siya nang hindi naka-balanse, dahil sa pagkaka-taranta matapos kong kumawala. If anyone can only watch him right now, he looks so awfully disgraced for someone of his status. For an Echiverri, he looks such a great embarrassment to the family.
He never acted this way before and to see him pull such stunt, makes me want to almost applaud him for being the best of the best in his field! All for the sake of another deception and domination.
He groaned and stood back up immediately. Not even a single drop of humiliated arrogance or bruised big ego was displayed in his face. Had it happened years ago, that fell to the ground would totally humiliate and hurt his ego big time. But now... I just watched him stood up and poorly tapped his lips. Na nakita kong nasugatan o nagasgas pala sa semento.
Akma siyang lalapit ulit ngunit dinuro ko siya sa mukha at dahan-dahan ring umaatras para lumayo sakaniya. I saw him gulp deeply, as if swallowing the pain that I can hilariously see written across his face.
And yes, I find it hilarious. I still find all of him now hilarious. Nothing from all the nonsense he shared appeared authentic, believable, and credible enough for me to believe in it. Definitely not from someone like him with a very tainted and notorious history and background. Never again.
"B... Let me take you home... I'll tell you more about it. I'll show you what I did to Jerro and your old friends—" Lasing niyang sabi ngunit naputol nang biglang may mga malalaking tao ang dumating. I felt his panic and pulled me back to him.
I shrieked when his hands touched my skin and successfully hug me again. But before I can begin to go violent with him again to shoo him away, I suddenly felt the presence of other people around us even more.
I saw three of my giant bodyguards aggressively pulled Tyson away from me. Tyson's built and height can absolutely compete with my bodyguards' physiques or even better but damn it! Sinakal pa nung isang bodyguard si Tyson mula sa likuran at halos di maka-piglas ang tarantado.
"Ma'am. Pasensya na ho at ngayon lang, nahirapan po kaming hanapin ka sa loob." Sabi ni Andres— ang tila leader ng mga bodyguards ko. And I felt such relief to suddenly remember that although I don't have any of my closest friends with me tonight, I thankfully did not miss to have my bodyguards escort me and look after me tonight. Akala ko'y wala na talaga akong takas pa!
"Andres, isakay niyo ako sa sasakyan bilis! I'm being harassed—" Sabi ko kay Andres na naka-yakap sakin mula sa likod ko, hinihila ako palayo sa gagong baliw. Habang iyong gago naman ay patuloy na pinag-tutulungang inaawat ng tatlo kong bodyguards. I heard his angry growl.
"Putang ina! Bitawan mo girlfriend ko! Shit! Babasagin ko mukha mo—" Sigaw ni Tyson habang marahas na kumakawala sa hawak ng ibang bodyguards at dinuduro si Andres sa likod ko. Witnessing how he instantly transformed into a wild beast again after seeing me being held by another man. As if he didn't just give an Oscar worthy emotional breakdown earlier. Walang katulad sa kabaliwan!
"Bilis, Andres! Get me out of here." I panted. Itinayo ako nang maayos ni Andres at agad iginiya patungo sa naka-hazard na SUV sa may unahan. I can still hear groans from behind. Just not sure if it's still Tyson's or now my bodyguards'.
"Apple Neone! Fuck. Get off me." He roared.
I closed my eyes tightly and forced myself to ignore all his fading noises especially when we reached the car. Andres safely tuck me in inside. Agad siyang sumakay sa shotgun seat at pina-takbo na agad nang naghihintay na driver.
"Sina Perez na bahalang mag-ligpit nun, Ma'am." Ani Andres mula sa front seat. I was instantly alarmed at that and got so nervous.
"What? Anong ligpit? Are they going to kill the man?" I worriedly asked. I'm not even noticing how I am acting right now.
"Ahh, hehe, hindi naman po. Bale, ese-settle lang po para kumalma at mapa-uwi sa bahay nito. Sino ho ba iyon, Ma'am?" Ani Andres. I frustratingly bit my tongue and rested my body against the SUV's leather seat. I massaged my forehead.
"The reason why you have this job on me right now." Simpleng sagot ko. I saw how he looked at me over his shoulder.
"Echiverri po pala iyon? 'Yung sinasabi lagi ni Sir Apollo?" Anito, tila hindi makapaniwala. Umirap na lamang ako at ipinikit ang mga mata.
"Gago, pre. Sinakal pa naman ni Perez kanina. Delikado." Rinig kong bulong niya sa kasamahan niyang mainly ay driver ko. They both lowly chuckled.
Just two minutes inside the car, on our way home, when the silence awfully enveloped around me that it's almost defeaning, my heart continued racing like crazy. Parts of my body are still shaking. And some... Aching.
I let out a deep sigh before closing my eyes and hoped for sleepiness to eat me up. Not that I think it would ever visit me tonight... Or even for the next few nights moving forward. Fuck.
Magka-halong pag-aalala at panggi-gisa sa'kin ang ginawa ni Apollo habang si Claire naman ay pino-proseso pa ang nalaman mula sa'kin. Pinapa-breast feed niya si Ace. Pareho silang naka-upo ni Kuya sa mahabang couch ng sala at ako naman ay sa pang-isahang couch, sa harap nila.
Kanina nang hinatid ako nina Andres paakyat dito sa condo nina Kuya ay para akong pasaway na anak na naligaw ng landas. Sobrang late na at na-disturbo ko pa sa gising iyong dalawa dahil nga wala akong susi ng pinto. Inutusan ko na lang si Andres na ipa-hanap kina Perez iyong clutch ko sa club na iyon.
I can still feel the slight trembling of my fingers while I shared to them what just happened to me. The rest of my body already have calmed down but my fingers remained fidgety. I can still clearly remember how many times I slapped and hit him. I have never ever physically hurt Tyson before. And so did he. But, fuck! As he should naman! Ayokong ma-konsensya. Hindi dapat. Tama lang sakaniya iyon.
"Hindi ako nag-kulang sa pagpapa-alala sa'yo lagi, Apple. This is now what I had been talking about. Sinobrahan mo naman masyado. You became too complacent. Ang sana'y dapat mabilis lang na pag-uwi mo eh naging taon at kalahati na. Isang taon nang naka-libing si Nang Lupe at nandito ka pa rin." Kuya sighed and massaged his forehead.
"That's also because my bodyguards have been very effective din, Kuya. For a year, they managed to keep me safe and impossible to locate. But, yeah..." Suko ko sa huli. Kasi ano pa nga bang ibang dahilan 'diba. Kasalanan ko 'to. At ngayon na nandito na 'tong bwisit na suliranin na ito, wala nang ibang choice kung 'di ang harapin ito.
"I'm sorry din, Sis. I missed to ask for regular updates from my source in ECG. This could have been prevented." Si Claire na tila naka-ahon na mula sa gulat niya sa nalaman.
"Tsk. Babe." Sita ni Kuya. Agad din akong napa-iling.
"No, no. It's not your fault. Ano ka ba! You've done enough for me and you now have my cute nephew to focus more on. Kaya ko na 'to. It has always been inevitable din naman." Sabi ko. Labis na nako-konsensya sa abalang nabibigay ko sakanilang dalawa ni Kuya.
"Kung umuwi ka lang ng amerika noon pa, edi sana wala kang problema ngayon. Mahirap na 'to ngayon, Apple. He now has knowledge of your whereabouts and can just easily monitor you. Sumabit ka talaga sa bitag ng putang inang gagong 'yun." Yamot na yamot ang mukha ni Apollo.
But compared to how he used to aggressively react about Tyson, he's way calmer and reserved now. Ganiyan siguro ang nagagawa kapag may anak na. Dati kasi ako lang iyong batang pasaway sa buhay niya. Ngayon may mini Apollo bad breath na siya. Kaya 'di na ako ang favorite at prioridad. I sighed and nodded at him.
"I'll book a flight back to New York tomorrow. I may need to add more bodyguards, Claire."
"Wait, no, Sis. It's too soon. That move is too predictable for Tyson. You would really think he won't have eyes all around you now? Stay here muna. No going out." She suggested. Napa-ikot na lamang ako ng mga mata sa sobrang pagod, asar, at galit kay Tyson.
I still don't understand and cannot accept that I'm being harassed and cornered like this. That everything I do, every move I make, and every decisions I consider, he's always involved. Always have to be involved. We always have to consider putting him in the picture before making a decision and it's so tiring. How can I really move past that phase of my life if he keeps on still meddling with my business?
Kaya kinabukasan nun ay nag-deactivate muna ako nang lahat ng socmed ko. The bodyguards were able to find my clutch and it gave me such relief. I stayed inside the condo and had my bodyguards stationed just outside the condo's door and hallway. One in the lobby to check for any Tyson related suspicious things so it can be immediately reported to Andres.
Wala akong ibang ginawa sa mga sumunod na araw na nasa loob lang ng bahay kundi ang ichismis kina Karina, Dane, Shai at Zoey ang delubyong nararanasan ko.
"You have to go home now, Apple. That's enough vacation for you. Time to work your ass off again." Ani Karina sa vc namin. Kahit sa loob loob ko'y hindi ko pa sana talaga gustong bumalik ng states pero wake up call na din talaga 'to. Nakakahiya na din kay Karina na mag-isang nagpapa-takbo ng negosyo namin on the ground.
"Hala, Aps! Huwag muna. Next week na 'yung first anniversary ng C&L. As an investor, I'd really appreciate your presence on that day. At nag-promise ka na rin!" Tutol ni Dane habang naka-vc kaming tatlo ni Shai. Oh, shucks. I almost forgot about that.
"Oo na, a-attend na." Irap ko. She giggled.
"Ba't di ka dumulog sa korte, Aps? File a protection order against that man. Bagay sa mga ganiyang tao eh dinadaan sa legalan." Mataray na sabi ni Shai. Oh, I lost count on how many times I thought about that but Apollo was right, it requires lengthy paper works and slow as a snail due process. It's an instant no for me. Plus, I'm not gonna stay here anymore so what's the point.
I answered Shai and the three of us continued to talk about many other things that day.
Sa sumunod na mga araw ay nadagdagan nga nang tatlo ang mga bodyguards ko. Claire got them from the same agency.
"Pogi nung isa, ha, in fairness." Bulong ko kay Claire habang pinapanood namin si Kuya na may binibilin sa lahat ng bodyguards, kasali na iyong tatlong bago.
"Huy, gaga, malandi. Hindi ka susulot nang sariling security!" Kinurot niya ang tagiliran ko kaya sinuntok ko naman ang may tahi at kaka-anak niya pa lang na pukelya. Chareeez. Siniko ko siya at tumawa.
"Palitan mo 'yang iba nang gwapo. Keep that new guy and Andres. Oh, and Perez too." Pangla-laro ko pa.
"Landi nito. Umuwi ka na sa US nang matiwasay, Sis. Huwag ka nang mandamay ng inosenteng tao. Kakaawa kaya kapag napag-selosan 'yang mga 'yan." She murmured while arranging Ace's clothes. I knitted my brows at what she said.
"What?" I gave her a side eye. She giggled.
"Wala. Help me bath Ace, Tita Apple." Aniya at kinarga na si Ace mula sa baby bed nito at sumunod naman ako sakanila.
Dalawang araw bago ang anniversary party ng business ni Dane ay naka-tanggap ako ng email mula sa V mag. And it was from the Vice President of Operations himself! Not from my direct superiors like Dylan. Why on earth would I receive an email from the executive level?
Kabang-kaba ako habang binabasa ang email ng VP of Operations. Jusko, muntik ko nang makalimutang empleyado pa rin pala ako ng V mag. Karina wanted me to resign but I cannot do it yet since I signed a 5 year contract with them. Yes, it can be breached but risking to part ways with an influential entity that has a lot of connections with the beauty and entertainment industry, on bad terms is a suicide. Plus the media. I can't risk it especially now that I myself co-own a rising brand. Hihintayin ko na lang matapos ang kontrata ko.
Kumunot ang noo ko nang napansing wala namang importante sa email na iyon, parang bot email nga lang, eh. I deleted it and checked for other new emails. Although I kind of laid low from my work in V mag and I appreciate them being so understanding about the nature of my own business, kaya mga extra extrang trabaho na lang iyong pinapagawa nila sa'kin. Like proofreading an article, designing article layouts, and mga pang princess lang na workloads. Emzz.
Namilog ang mga mata ko nang nakita ang kakapasok lang na bagong email mula sa VP pa rin. And this time, it's a calendar invite for an online meeting. 10 pm at 1 am Philippine Time on Thursday next week lang ang available choices sa calendar. Hayop! Nag-send pa siya ng invite eh no!
Fuck! That's the day right after Dane's business anniversary! Will I be hang over free by then? Baka bangag na bangag pa akong haharap sa VP!
And, shit, wala man lang description kung ano at para saan 'yung meeting. May nagawa ba ako? Iteterminate ba ako? Jusko. Pinili ko na lang iyong 10pm kasi baka burlaga na ako sa 1am. Ma imbyerna kaka-hintay 'yung VP haha.
So I remained socmed free for the rest of that week. Emails are the only things I checked on the internet. FaceTime din pala for vc with my friends.
C&L's anniversary came quicker than expected and I'm so upset about not being able to grab myself a better dress for the event because of my lockdown era. Kaya nagre-wear na lang ako ng dress mula sa maleta ko. Maletang hindi na-galaw kasi nga ang akala eh hindi mag-tatagal pero eto na't isang taon nang hindi na-ilabas yung mga gamit sa loob. I'm so tamad and yucky.
I eventually found a black Dolce & Gabbana long sequined corset dress. Sweetheart neckline. I paired it with my black Louboutins.
I did my make up and decided to wear something light and laid back only tonight. I curled the end of my waist length coffee brown hair. I finished it all with 10 sprays of Eclat d'Arpege and Bvlgari Omnia Amethyst. From Tita Gwen. And yes, I wear two perfumes. Why? It's just iconic.
I brought five bodyguards with me to the venue. Inarkilahan ni Miguel Lancheco ang isang night club sa BGC kaya nasiyahan ako sa isiping exclusive lamang sa mga empleyado and guests ang party.
Nang nakarating ay mabilis naman agad akong naka-salamuha ng mga tao. I love how decent and humble the party is. Halos parang ibinase na ni Dane sa ugali niya. No over the top red carpets. Walang maraming anek anek at plastikan. Lafangan at walwalan at konting plastikan lang ganun. Tapos.
"Ililigpit 'yung mga chairs and tables mamayang 10. Miguel planned to turn the venue into a typical night club para sa mga gustong pumarty. Pilyo talaga." Sabi ni Dane habang sumisipsip kami ng alak. Nakaka-rami na kami ni Shai ngunit itong si green eyes ay hindi pa nauubos ang unang baso niya. May energy gap kaya itong si Dane? Keme lang.
At ganun nga iyong naging eksena pagka-tungtong ng alas dyez. The kind and jolly elder employees we bonded with earlier already left and went home. Mga medyo bagets bagets na lamang ang natitira.
"Come on, ladies, stand up! Dane! Apple, hey! Come on, Shai." Miguel approached our table and hyped us up. Nagdi-dim na kasi 'yung lights at nagpapa-tugtog na ng electronic dance music.
"I've invited some of my friends from college, is that okay? Tayo na lang din naman. Might as well open the party for more people." Pasigaw na sabi ni Miguel kay Dane. Inosente lang namang tumango ang huli. I don't know, Miguel is a fine young man, but he doesn't have any charisma whenever he's beside Dane. Hindi bagay. But I'd rather Miguel Lancheco than that asshole Rocco Del Francia. Ka-uring ka-uri nung isang Echiverri. Same brand. Same factory. Jusko.
When the alcohol finally worked its magic on my system, I began doing my little dance moves. Konting alak pa at maya maya lang ay nasa gitna na ako makikita niyo. Chariz.
Dumami nga ang mga tao nang mas lumalim ang gabi. I saw very familiar faces from Ateneo. I didn't give a fuck first but when I saw a man that used to be Tyson's regular teammate in his basketball games before, my burning little dance moves immediately stopped. I instantly became so alarmed and defensive.
I took my phone out to call Andres. Ilang ring pa bago ito sumagot.
"Andres, pasok kayo please. I don't feel safe." Sabi ko at pinatay na ang tawag. As long as they're just somewhere inside the club, I'll be fine.
Kaya ang imbes na pagpapaka-pokpok sa gitna ng dance floor habang peak na ng disco eh na-uwi sa pagiging parang uod ko na lamang sa tabi. Poorly sipping on my drink.
"Aps, bathroom lang ako sandali, ah. Babalik yun si Shai. Diyan ka lang." Sabi ni Dane at tumayo. Aba, mga hayop na 'to, iiwan akong mag-isa dito! Iyong lokaret na Shai din kanina pa nawala. Bumooking na yata sa jowa niya.
"Bilisan mo, Sister Dane!" Sabi ko at tinaboy na siya.
I enjoyed drinking alone during that brief moment. I refuse to admit that the threat of Tyson's possible presence here tonight have greatly cowered my entire being. A supposedly empowered and strong Queen can be that easily tamed by a person's presence— and it's not even confirmed at that. Just pure paranoia.
And no matter how insulting that fact may be to my entire Queenly persona, I still won't admit to that easily. I am a Queen who knows when to fight and when to hold her horses. A Queen who chooses her battles wisely.
This is my last event and public engagement in the country before I leave for New York the day after tomorrow. And no matter how enticing the dance floor looks right now, I still won't dare throwing myself to it again— with the risk of being captured and pulled by Tyson again. The last thing I'd like to happen in my last few days here in the country is to be held captive by that asshole again.
"Hey, do you mind having a company?" A jolly boyish voice with strong upper class accent interrupted my thoughts. Napa-tingala ako rito.
I saw a tall and lean fair man beaming at me. Holding a glass of whisky. Naka black long sleeve polo ito at jeans. I smiled at him.
"No. Sure, have a seat." Sabi ko sabay lahad sa upuan ni Dane. Bahala ka na akling. Chupi ka muna. Bu-booking lang akes nang very light.
"Samuel, by the way. You?" He offered his hand as soon as he settled down beside me. Quite skinny for my liking but not bad naman na. May face card naman kahit papaano. Pero, urgh!
"Apple. Nice seeing you." Sabi ko at tinanggap ang kamay niya. Ah, yes, quite a good distraction too. Keeping my mind off of my thoughts about that crazy man.
"Are you alone? If yes, you can join my circle—"
Natigilan at napa-hinto sa pagsasalita si Samuel at napa-yuko, tila may tinitingnan. Kumunot ang noo ko sakaniya at tumingin din sa baba, hinahanap ang tinitingnan niya.
And suddenly, I saw a green laser beam directed at Samuel's abdomen. Magalaw at tila sinasadya.
"What's that?" Tanong ko. Tumingala si Samuel at tila sinundan kung saan nag-mumula ang laser at kitang kita ko kung paano nanlaki ang mga mata niya at tila mas pumuti pa ang balat nito.
"Shit. I gotta go." Mabilis na sabi ni Samuel at mas mabilis ring kumaripas palayo. What the fuck? Ang weirdo nun, ah! Parang natamaan lang ng lasers ng club, eh! High siguro 'yun!
I shrugged it off and sipped on my drink again. I resumed watching the dance floor scene like I'm some old party animal that already had her time and share of being a gimikera.
But after few minutes of just watching around, I noticed how the green laser beam remained pointing and moving just near me. And, shit! Blue pala lahat nang ilaw sa club. Nag-iisa lang ang green na laser beam na ito!
I instinctively looked up and followed the laser beam. And what I saw almost had me choke on my own saliva.
On the third and dark floor of the club, there stood the man I never wanted to see again, observing and watching me with hawk like eyes, alone and is annoyingly pointing a children laser beam toy at my direction. Bahagyang naka-hilig ang mga siko sa railing at pinapanood ang buong kaganapan dito sa baba mula roon sa itaas.
He timidly smiled at me, oozing with so much manliness and effortless sex appeal. I finally was able to get myself to react to such another pathetic and embarrassing stunt of this man again. Naturingan pang Echiverri heir! Jusko.
"Just looking after you. I'm sorry." He mouthed but I captured all those words clearly and accurately.
He then turned the laser off and stood up properly. His face is displaying his softness for me but his eyes are never lying, so obviously alert like he's hunting for an enemy.
Kaya kunware pa-ngiti ngiti sa'kin sabay depensang nag-babantay lang dahil ang totoo'y umiiral na naman ang matagal niya nang ugali noon pa? The very reason why the poor Samuel probably ran for his life, very scared and traumatized. Punyeta talaga. I could only imagine the face and look he was giving Samuel earlier. Kaya takot na takot iyong lalaki. Bukod na siguro na kilala din siya nun.
Tapos nung ako na ang tumingala sakaniya, pa inosenteng ngumingiti-ngiti na? Na parang walang binantaang tao. And who knows if Samuel was his first victim tonight or not. At ayoko nang isipin pa.
Kaya agad kong pinutol ang titigan namin at tumayo. I grabbed my phone and called Andres. Walang lingon-lingon akong lumabas ng gusali at sinalubong nina Perez. I let out a heavy sigh when I entered the car safely.
Tang ina. I can curse, insult, and mock Tyson now all I want but never could I ever discredit him for having such nerve wracking, bone chilling, and intimidating aura and effect on people. Natural na iyon sa kaniya. Ganun na talaga simula noon pa. And he sure damn knows when and how to use it.
I left the party very grateful, still, for managing to dodge that threat. I very hoped for that to be the last time I'd ever see him. Not only didn't he have any character development at all, not a single display of acknowledgement for the grave mistakes he committed against me and no willingness to own up to it and take full accountability was ever shown as well. So, no...
He will be a downgrade for me if ever. Kung noon ay siya ang inaabot at ako ang downgrade, hindi na ganun ngayon. And I love how karma does its job for people like him. The tables have successfully turned and Apple Neone is sitting on top of it. No plans of ever turning it again.
I kept that encounter to myself and didn't let Apollo and Claire know when I joined them for lunch the next day. After lunch, I started to prepare for my virtual meeting with V mag's VP of Operations.
Ready na rin ako para bukas. May ticket na ako at handang handa na rin iyong mga gamit kong 1 year old na sa maleta ko. Oh 'di ba, hassle free.
"Good morning, Apple." Masiglang bati ni Jon Matthews, ang VP of Operations ng V mag.
"Good morning, Jon. How is it going?" I warmly greeted. Kaming dalawa lang talaga ang nasa loob ng meeting kaya kinabahan ako lalo buti na lang at madaldal itong si Jon.
Ilang minuto pa'y sa gitna nang chikahan namin ng VP na akala mo'y matagal nang mag-bff talaga, eh may pumasok sa meeting. Isang puting amerikana na naka-salamin. Binati ako nito nang mabilis at tila may urgent lang na sasabihin kay Jon.
"The new member of the..." Anito ngunit hindi ko na narinig nang buo dahil pumasok sila sa isang break out room. Prolly to have privacy as it sounded like an executive level related concern.
Hindi naman nag-tagal ay bumalik na si Jon sa meeting. Wala na iyong babae. He cleared his throat and smiled at me.
"Well, anyway, let's get straight to it. The reason why I have called you in for a meeting is because of a very important effort that we need to exert in order to adapt smoothly and successfully to a very sudden and massive change in the company..."
He blabbered few more things after that and when he's done, an awkward silence enveloped the two of us. He chuckled.
"Sorry for scaring you, Apple. But there's a new member of the board. Having recently acquired 38% shares which instantly made him a major shareholder of the company. This investor happens to be based in the Philippines. With a background of mainly construction and real estate, they're pretty much huge in that aspect so having said that, V mag likes to start their tenure as a major member of the board, by featuring their construction empire in our magazine on a global scale, allowing them to penetrate more markets." Aniya. I gulped and nodded. Okay... Okay?
"And you also happen to be one of our brilliant editorial assistant turned content writer. And is currently in the Philippines, I heard?" He smiled excitedly at me. Like I'm supposed to be happy too.
Just what the fuck. I'm not liking this. I now feel where this is heading to. Absolutely not. I'm leaving this country. Asap!
"So with that, we're hoping to appoint you to this project. We found your being in the Philippines very very convenient, saving us so much time and effort instead of sending people from here like we normally do. But of course, we will still send some of your colleagues to the Philippines to be with you. And we will send you another email containing all the details and the offer for taking this project." He smiled. I remained dumbfounded.
What do I do? Should I decline the offer now? With the freaking VP of Operations himself?! Nakakahiya!
"Overwhelmed, I can see, huh? That's good. That's good. I'm really hoping, Apple. You would do me and the company such a big favor because of this." He urged. Ay pota, parang wala pang balak bigyan ako ng panahong mag-isip! I cleared my throat.
"Thank you, Jon. I really appreciate this once in a lifetime opportunity, but can I—"
Naputol ang sasabihin ko nang biglang may sumali sa meeting.
Engr. Tyson Matheus W. Echiverri have joined
"Oh, he's joined in! Good day, Engineer Echiverri! Thank you for joining us today. I thought Lanna was bluffing earlier when she told me." Maingay at tuwang tuwang bati ng VP sa taong pumasok. Na ngayo'y kaka-bukas lang ng camera...
His symmetrical and pointed nose was what I first saw. Then followed by his thick brows and pitch black eyes... And when he looked to his left side a little bit, that very familiar and nostalgic wing tattoo on his neck appeared.
"Good day, Jon... My pleasure." His baritone drawled unacceptably very sexy over the computer. Gustong gusto ko nang mag leave sa meeting nang buma-baling na siya sa'kin.
"Good day, Butt— Miss Sandova." He smirked adorably. I peed on my fucking pajamas.