"Y/n?! What the fuck is that on your arm?" Harry asks, scrambling down to me.
I look down at my arm confused, and then realise what he's seen. I look at him, as tears begin to drop down my face and I become unable to speak.
"Y/n, come here. You know I hate to see you breaking like this." Harry says, pulling my arm lightly onto my bed.
"Shit, I'm not really good at this." Harry said, whilst scratching the back of his neck.
"It's not a big deal." I say, shrugging whilst wiping a few tears.
"Y/n, it clearly is! Sorry, I shouldn't yell. I'm just worried for your health. I'm surprised you haven't passed the fuck out yet!" He said, looking at me.
"Harry, I'm sorry." I said, unable to get long sentences out.
"What brought you to it? And when did you do it?" He asked, resting his hand on my lap.
"Harry, I don't know. When Ethan brought up our parents, it just sort of triggered me." I said, pushing his hand off my lap, and he threw his hands up defensively
"Why? What did they do?" He asked, concern showing up in his eyes for a visit.
"A lot Harry, I don't really wanna talk about it." I said, knowing it would probably trigger me again, because you know, I'm weak like that.
"Well, I can't make you feel better if I don't know. However It's your choice whether you tell me or not. Is this what was wrong with you earlier?" He asked me, curling hair behind my ear.
"No" I say, no emotion.
"Y/n, you need to tell me these things and what's wrong with you. I can't bare to see you in pain. Actually, we should probably clean these nasty things up." He said, standing up.
"Do you have a first-aid kit?" He asked.
"No, I don't. I don't have any bandages Harry, otherwise I would've cleaned them up myself." I said, sighing throwing my head in my hands.
"Well, I'll call JJ down, I'm sure he has some stuff, especially with boxing." He said, getting his phone out of his joggers.
"No! Don't! Don't even think about telling Ethan either please." I almost begged him.
"Y/n, we have to clean this up somehow.. I don't really know how to do it without, and JJ will be comforting about it" He said, placing his hand on my lap once again.
"Y/n, Harry, if your up there that is, Im just going to meet Faith. She's got some stuff going off, and wants me there for her. Keep your hands to yourself Harold, or I swear to god I will kill you!" Ethan shouted from the kitchen.
"Yeah!" Harry shouted back, removing his hand from my lap.
"He's gone, and JJ can come, Ethan won't know. I promise you." Harry said, comforting me with his soft palm against my cheek.
"Fine. But if it goes anywhere other than JJ and you, I will never speak to you again." I said, eyeing him up sternly.
Harry nods and gets his phone out and dials JJ's number. Soon enough he picks up, and Harry puts it on loud speaker.
"Harry! Yo!" JJ says over the phone, his camera facing the ceiling.
"Bro, I need you to come to Ethan's, that's if you can. It's an emergency. Can you bring your boxing first-aid kit with you too?" Harry asked him, as I began biting my nails. Harry removed my hand from near my mouth and held them tight.
JJ pops up on FaceTime camera.
"That shit in the kit is strong, why? Is everything good? Is someone hurt? What happened?" JJ asked overloading Harry with a lot of questions. JJ didn't know I was in the room.
"Everyone's fine. I just need you to promise to not tell anyone about this, and Ethan can't know neither." Harry said, giving JJ the eyes, making sure that he wouldn't tell anyone.
"Ofcourse man, but who is it that's hurt? And how? I need to know, so I can see if I can give them the right stuff. I shouldn't really do this, but one of my friends are hurt obviously." JJ says leaning his phone against something so we can finally see his figure.
"It's for Y/n. Please bro ASAP. I'm stressing the fuck out." Harry said, rubbing his hand over his forehead.
"Just tell him." I said, because I know JJ wasn't to sure about this, as I could tell by the look on his face.
"Is that Y/n?" JJ asks popping a confused look onto his face.
"Yes, It's Y/n, she cut herself. Purposely, and It's super deep. I don't know how she hasn't passed out yet." Harry says, sighing once again. He's so stressed out, which ofcourse is all of my fault. Why do I have to be such a bitch.
"Shit bro, on my way right now. Hope she's alright." JJ says, rushing his way out of the kitchen to the bathroom to get his kit.
"Alright lad. Thanks so much for this, and please don't tell Ethan. I'm going to talk to her about this." Harry says.
"No bro, I won't. Not my place to tell him. But she's got to do something about this, as much as I don't know the girl properly, but I really wouldn't like to see her hurting." JJ says, scrambling around his living room after finally finding his car keys.
"Be quick. Ethan's not in, we don't know when he'll be back." Harry says, checking the time on his phone by swiping down.
"I'll be as fast as I can bro. Talk soon." JJ says, ending the call.
"Harry, I'm sorry for putting you in this position, I'm always messing things up. I'm such a prick. I don't know why I do this I can't-"
Harry places a peck on my cheek.
"Y/n love, don't be so stupid. You're obviously not okay; and sometimes people's resort is this. I hate to see you breaking, I'm only stressed because I feel for you. I don't want you hurting." Harry says, placing a hand on my cheek.
"I know, but if you didn't know about how much I was hurting you wouldn't be dealing with this and-"
"Y/n, shutup. Don't put yourself down, if I didn't know you was hurting then you would've done it more often. Listen to me right now, none of this is your fault. It's the way you feel, you can't control it and that's that. I'm always here for you, I try my best to understand, and give the best advice I can, but please stop putting yourself down for feeling so low. You're gorgeous, and perfect. You don't need to be doing this to yourself, no matter how hard the past has been your not a kid anymore, and you can control your future. So do what you enjoy, and enjoy it. Don't stress sweetheart." Harry says, smiling comforting me whilst rubbing his hand up and down on my leg.
I just pass a smile to him, and thank him in my head.
Soon enough, JJ arrives.
"Y/n these are some nasty cuts, and it might sting because this stuff is super strong, just know I'm going to try my hardest to be soft on your arm."JJ says, whilst leading us into my bathroom, and opening his first-aid kit.
"However, Y/n, you must speak to Ethan if you're feeling this low. I know It's hard, because he'll be hurt just as much as we are hurting for you right now. But he must know, and I'm not forcing you to tell him, you must prepare that yourself." Harry says, JJ nodding along, basically agreeing to what he has to say.
JJ takes some sort of solution out of his black first-aid kit, and presses some down on a cotton pad. He starts soothly pressing down on it and I hiss, as it stings the cuts.
"I know, sweetie. It's gonna hurt. I'm sorry. I wish I could cure your pain." JJ says.
I see Harry in the corner biting his nails as he watches JJ press down lightly on my arm.
"Ethan's going to find out sooner or later Y/n, I have to bandage your arm up." JJ says, sighing.
"I know, I'll figure out a way to tell him. I'm just unsure of how he'll take it. I know he'll understand, but I don't want everyone feeling sorry for me." I say. closing my eyes and gritting my teeth as JJ cleans up the blood from the cuts.
"He'll be there for you, and as for everyone feeling sorry for you, we just want you to be okay. We know It's probably a tough time for you, but people need to know when you do it. People around will hurt for you, if you don't let people know It's happening." JJ says, his soft voice soothes me slowly. Soon I start to feel sleepy.
Soon, JJ gives me some strong paracetamol that will cure them. Then he wraps the bandage around my arm slowly so that it doesn't hurt.
"Is that okay for you?" He asks, looking down at the bandage, patting it down so it stays.
"Yeah, thanks JJ, sorry for interrupting you." I say, feeling guilty.
"You didn't interrupt me. Right now this is more important than anything. Listen to me, I'm always here to talk to you, so is Ethan, and the rest of the boys. Especially Harry. I've seen you to get closer. Hopefully he's someone you'll be able to talk to, Y/n, I feel for you I do." JJ says, putting everything back into his kit.
"I know JJ, and thankyou, I am trying my hardest." I say.
"Good, now keep your head up. And you can always talk to me Or Harry, but please, talk to Ethan. Because if this happens again, we can't hide it from him. We just want to make sure you're okay, love." JJ says, smiling patting my head, and giving me a small hug.
"Y/n, I'm so proud of you, I know you didn't want anyone else knowing but I'm glad you did this." Harry said, passing me a smile.
"I have to shoot now, but Y/n, please try hard for me and the rest of us. We all care about you so deeply, we haven't known you for long, but we've known you enough to know that you're obviously struggling. So from this point on, whenever you feel shit, or confused or anything, I want you to ring me or Harry." JJ says.
"Yeah, thanks JJ. again, I didn't mean to interrupt you. I know I've already said it, but I just feel guilty." I say, feeling the guilt droop down to my stomach.
"For the last time, you didn't interrupt me. If you did, you're more important in this situation. And don't feel guilty, love." JJ says, smiling whilst opening my bedroom door.
"Goodbye for now Y/n, but keep your head up, love you hon." JJ says softly, leaving my room.
"I'm glad that's over and done with, I hate it when people know" I say, dropping onto my bed, as Harry does too.
"Promise me that you're going to talk to Ethan?" Harry says, looking over at me.
"Yes I will, I just need to figure out away to get the subject up." I say, sighing.
"He'll understand, I did, and JJ did too. so I'm sure he will. Is it okay if I crash here tonight too? I'm a little tired and-"
"Ofcourse you can, don't even need to ask. I'd like your presence especially after this horrendous night." I say passing him a smile.
He begins to take his shirt off, and plops into bed with me. I just sleep in my clothes because, yano. Why not?
I face him.
"Goodnight, Y/n" He says, grabbing my waist and pulling me in for a kiss.
I kiss back, and lay there in his presence and fall into a deep sleep.