***Happy St. Patrick's Day!***
Willow gritted her teeth and dug at the ball bearings, her fingers slipping uselessly over the groove. She sat back and glared at the black bands around her wrists, then slapped at them both.
"Come on!" she yelled at them, her eyes darting to the bulb of water and bowl of food sitting on the bench outside the cell. Her stomach rumbled and her mouth was parched, her lips stinging around the edges.
It had been six hours. She'd picked up the casing more than once and thrown it across the cell, scattering ball bearings all over. Then she had to hunt them all down and put them back.
She sat back and rubbed her eyes with her palms, groaning.
"What are you afraid of?" Dethrhhek's voice sounded above her.
She looked up to see him leaning against the glass, arms folded.
"Right now? Dying of dehydration," she said, licking her lips and trying to work a little moisture back into her mouth.
"Really?" he asked, pulling something out of his pocket. "Is it that or does it scare you to see the blackness of the battlesuit moving over your skin?"
She looked at him sharply and glared. Was that it?
Willow closed her eyes and pushed herself to her feet and paced away from the glass, then back again.
"I don't know," she said, spreading her arms and letting them fall back to her sides. "Maybe? I mean... every time I see it I feel like I'm back in that cabinet. Fuck... I can even taste it."
She grimaced and scratched at her wrist with a shudder.
Nodding, Dethrhhek moved toward the door to the cell and it unlocked automatically. He pushed it open and stepped inside, looking down at what appeared to be a pair of lenses in his hands.
"I thought this might help, so I had Aurora print them," he said, holding out some kind of lenses.
They were clear and oblong and would press against the skin like swimming goggles, though they were more curved than those usually tended to be. There was just one problem.
"Ok, how are these supposed to stay on?" she asked.
"Just put them on, they'll stay."
She looked at them for a moment, then put them over her eyes. They sealed to her skin like magnets and the room brightened, color leapt up at her and when she looked at Dethrhhek, he shimmered with light.
"Holy shit," she breathed. "You are beautiful!" she blurted.
He smiled and it was radiant. "Look at yourself," he said.
She looked down at herself. "Woah" she breathed. "I do have stripes!"
"Told you."
"They're purple!"
"I tweaked them a bit. I see them as blue, but look at the battlesuit receptors."
They were hot pink.
Pulling up the pant leg of her jumpsuit she saw the bands around her ankles were pink too.
"Oh... okay. Um, yeah that's a little easier to look at," she said.
Then she looked up at him and said, "I'm still not gonna fuck you."
He laughed and cupped her face in one large hand. "Of course not," he said, his smile suddenly predatory. "I'm only dreaming about it."
Willow rolled her eyes.
"Look," she said, pulling away from his touch, "I know I'm something new and interesting, but I'm not—"
"Let's not talk about that right now," he cut in. "Right now, you work on getting that suit to help you get the spheres out of there. Or think of it as getting the suit to help you get something to eat."
"Oh, so you're in on that too, huh?"
He shrugged a shoulder and dropped his eyes. "I don't like it, but Ehnii made a good point."
Willow looked past him to the food and bulb of water on the bench and her mouth watered.
Dethrhhek tapped her chin and said, "You can do this." Then he stepped back and closed the door. The lock engaged and he stared at her for several long moments before turning and walking away.
"Assholes," She grumbled, glancing again at the food and water.
With a sigh she sat on the floor, crossed her legs, and stared at the ball bearings. Then she flipped them off.
***
The door clunked and stuck as Dethrhhek walked onto the bridge to find his pilot, navigator, communications officer, and his second in command smiling at him.
His steps slowed. "What?" he asked, narrowing his eyes.
"How's everything going with the lovely alien?" Zashiin asked.
"That is none of your business," Dethrhhek said, shaking his head. "Now give me a status report."
"We heard back from Captain Xenshel, but not the others. The Ssketch ship is still docked at Ahenao Station and Jeancheo is slowing their resupply. We should be there in twelve hours," Zashiin said.
"Thanks. Have you already sent a docking request for us?" Dethrhhek asked.
"No. I wanted confirmation that we were actually going to dock first. Captain Xenshel is on his way to rendezvous with us. Shouldn't we wait?"
Dethrhhek shook his head. "We need to resupply anyway so we might as well do some recon while we're at it. We don't move against them, though."
"And the alien?" Zashiin asked.
"What about her?" Dethrhhek asked, his tone more defensive than he'd intended.
"What do you plan to have her do while we're all off the ship?"
Dethrhhek hadn't thought of that. She was an unregistered species. He couldn't just take her onto the station with him, and he couldn't leave her on the ship alone. His crew had been deep in the pit for close to a Tilian year and deserved some time off the ship. He didn't feel right ordering anyone to stay onboard.
"Luckily we have about twelve hours to figure it out," Dethrhhek said.
"If I may suggest," Zashiin said, "I noticed she has little hands. Tothetto will be conducting repairs and keeps complaining that he can't reach."
"Can't reach what?"
"Everything! Have you ever listened to him fix anything?"
Dethrhhek raised an eyebrow. "Aurora," he said, "is Tothetto repairing anything right now?"
"Affirmative, Captain."
"Open a channel and let me hear him."
A grumbling voice came over the com. "Son of the pit. Every forsaken time it's always something... damned fat fingers. Can't... reach..."
"Aurora, close the channel," Dethrhhek said, chuckling.
"Well, Zashiin, are you comfortable with an alien working on the ship while we're away?" Dethrhhek asked.
"No, but it won't just be Tothetto. He'll have his team. Chedeña used to be a skull-cracker at that tavern on Tallahan Station and we all know Leldeth has a shady past."
"Which won't do either of them any good against a Ssketch battlesuit," Dethrhhek pointed out.
Zashiin nodded. "I don't think we have to worry about her purposely harming any of our people," he said. "Not after what I have observed of her."
Dethrhhek nodded."I agree," he said. "I will take your suggestion under consideration. It is a good one, so long as everyone has a full supply of DD's."
He finished up on the bridge then headed back down to the holding cells. It had been several hours and he was tired. If he was tired he was sure Willow would also be tired. Especially if she'd figure it out how to summon that battlesuit by now. But when he arrived he found her laying on the floor inside the cell, the spheres still in their slot. The food on the bench had grown cold. Her eyes stared blankly, lost somewhere in a memory.
Raising a fist, he tapped on the door and she blinked, then looked up and shook her head.
"I can't do it," she said. Her voice sounded rough.
A pang of disappointment rolled through him but he pushed it away. It wasn't her fault.
"It's okay," he said, pulling the door open and then grabbing the tray of food and water. "This simply is not the way for you."
Kneeling beside her, he set down the tray and then carefully cupped her head, bringing the bulb of fuel to her lips. She sat up, grabbing the bulb and guzzling it until it was empty. Then she licked her lips, staring longingly at the bulb.
"Can I have some more?" she asked.
"Of course. Tell me, Willow, how much water do your kind usually drink per day?"
"About three liters if we want to stay healthy," she said, picking up the bowl and eating the cold food.
Dethrhhek's eyebrows shot up. Three liters! That was more fuel than the Farahtuu used in a day! He'd only been giving her about sixteen ounces per day.
"Then I have not been giving you enough," he said as he did some tallies in his head. He was going to start needing a lot more fuel.
She shook her head. "No, I'm actually really dehydrated. Especially after, you know, this," She added, pointing her middle finger at the metal spheres in the slot.
"Why didn't you tell me you needed more?" he asked.
Willow shrugged. "I didn't want to seem like a burden," she said. "Especially when I found out that you use water as fuel."
Dethrhhek took a deep breath and blew it out. "I don't want you to worry about that," he told her. "We're stopping at Ahenao station in about seven hours. We will be resupplying there. Refueling."
She finished her meal, licked her lips, and wiped her mouth in the back of her hand.
"Come," he said, standing and holding out his hand. "Let's retire."
***
Willow stepped into Dethrhhek's room. For the first time she realized that it was actually a little messy. He had a pile of clothes in the corner, even though there was a panel in the wall directly above the pile that opened up just for dirty clothes. She was pretty sure it took them away somewhere in the ship to be washed. At least that's what she hoped, considering she had stuck her jumpsuit in there. He also had a desk that was covered with random crap, and she remembered the first time he dragged her into his room, the bed had been a little messy.
He stepped in beside her and started undoing the back of his jumpsuit, walking toward the bathroom. Before he got there he had kicked off his boots and stepped out of the pant legs and then kicked the jumpsuit into the corner.
Willow rolled her eyes. Were all guys just naturally slobs?
He stopped at the door and turned to her, hooking a thumb into the band of his underwear and pulling them down.
"Are you coming?" he asked.
Her heart giddy up in her chest and she licked her lips before saying, "Uh, yeah. I guess. I just, I don't know how to get these off." She pointed at the lenses over her eyes. She had tried pulling at them a couple times but they seemed stuck to her face.
Dethrhhek smiled and pointed to the bridge of his own nose. "Tap them twice right there," he said.
She did as he told her, and they popped right off. His luminance dimmed and her stripes disappeared. With a slight pang of regret, she set them on his desk along with the rest of his random crap. Hesitantly, she stripped out of her clothes, and followed him into the shower.
It didn't make her as nervous this time as it usually did. She still wasn't sure if she wanted to go in there by herself, but going in there with him didn't scare her. Well, that was a lie. It still scared her but for a different reason. He was the reason. She knew what he wanted from her, and she knew that she kind of wanted it too. Even though she knew that she shouldn't.
Obviously he just wanted to be the first one to fuck a new alien, and she didn't exactly have a problem with casual sex. But letting another man—or, male—touch her still felt like betraying Jonah and his memory. She'd never been good at casual sex anyway. She always got attached. And in this case she knew she could not get attached. She didn't care what Dethrhhek said, she wasn't staying here. She couldn't live in space! She needed to get Evan and go home, to Earth, to her brother.
Dethrhhek took her hands and placed them on the bars in the ceiling, then engaged the oil and foam shower. It was over quickly and he was a gentleman, though she wasn't entirely sure he would stay that way. Who knows, maybe he would and she was just jaded from dealing with human men. At least the ones she'd met before Jonah.
She dressed in a fresh jumpsuit, though this one was a little itchy, the fabric tough. She wondered if, on this space station they were going to, she could get Dethrhhek to pick her up some pajamas. Something soft and warm.
He'd slipped into a clean pair of underwear while she'd dressed and they both turned around and looked at each other at the same time. She tried not to stare at those muscles and shoulders and then narrow V of his waist or the huge package his underwear barely contained. He openly stared at her and laughed.
Willow glared at him.
"That isn't meant for sleeping," he said through his laughter.
"I figured it wasn't," She said. "But as you have yet to give me anything that is meant for sleeping, I'm using what I have."
His laughter faded and he sighed, clasping his hands behind his back, all four of them.
"Willow, I give you my word that I will not touch you unless you want me to. You don't have to wear... armor, to bed."
As if to give more reassurance, he grabbed a dose of what he called DD out of a drawer, and jabbed it into his bare thigh.
"There," he said, "If you become too uncomfortable, you can at least know that I won't lose my senses if you find me too tempting."
Willow snorted and folded her arms, looking in the direction of the bathroom.
In her peripheral vision she watched him climb onto his bed and pull the blanket over his body. One of his wings extended upward and brush the ceiling vibrant and colorful and still majestically beautiful.
Without looking directly at him she walked over to the bed and climbed in. She pulled the blanket over herself and curled up on the very edge with her back to him. She could feel his eyes on her, she could feel his humor. The room was silent but he could have been laughing. It was infuriating. She wanted to hit him, and kiss him. She wanted him to hold her, and she wanted to run as far away from him, as this ship would let her run.
The light in the room faded away to darkness, and from behind her Dethrhhek said, "I have a sister," in a soft tone.
Willow frowned, what had he just said?
"Her name is Taleen. She's many years older than me. When I was only fifteen years old, she chose a fine mate. It took him two years to dominate her. He was so stubborn he just refused to give up no matter how many bones she broke."
Willow's eyes widened. They broke their potential mates bones? How awful!
"I have the suspicion that she finally took pity on him and let him dominate her. She was always sweet like that."
Willow couldn't help frowning hard and looking over her shoulder at him. How could he call someone sweet after they broke the bones of the person they chose? That just didn't make sense.
In the darkness, the red patterns over his skin shimmered slightly and his freckles along with the little lights in his hair glimmered. His eyes, of course, had that inner luminance that she supposed could have been as pupils.
"I was twenty years when he died. Their ship was attacked by humans and those lifeless, remorseless machines slaughtered more than half the crew."
She stilled, heart suddenly hammering while a queasy sensation rolled through her belly.
"She'd loved him passionately and his loss nearly extinguished her spark. But eventually, she mated again, and again," he said with a huff. "She has four mates now and when I asked her if she ever felt bad about mating again after her love had died, she told me she would always love him, but that living alone with her grief, haunted by his memory, would not honor him. He'd always wanted her to be happy, and so she believed the best way to honor him was to try to be happy, even in the wake of his passing."
Willow was facing him and didn't even realize she'd rolled over.
"Is this your way of telling me I need to move on?" she asked, narrowing her eyes.
"No. You should never move on from someone you love. What I'm saying is that if they loved you too, then your spark, your happiness would have been important to them. I saw that image of your Jonah, standing beside you. That male loved you, I could see it in his eyes, and his posture. The accident may or may not have been your fault, but do you think someone who loved you that much would want you to break into pieces and not heal? He deserves your grief, because it is proof that you loved him. He does not deserve your torment."
She felt herself crumble as each word he said broke a little more of the wall of self hatred she'd built around herself over the last year. He was right. Jonah wouldn't want her to be in pain. That didn't mean the pain was going to stop, but it seemed to change the perspective of it in that maybe it was okay for her to stop adding fuel to the fire of her agony.
She covered her face with her hands and wept silently. To his credit, Dethrhhek stayed on his side of the bed.
***Thanks for reading! New chapter every Sunday, some holidays, and sometimes because I feel like it!***
PD: 03/17/24