SAND
Slowly waking up after a night of binge drinking almost makes me wish to stay asleep until the headache of the hangover passes but I needed to be somewhere important today.
Slowly, consciousness leaked into my sleep induced fog and I briefly wondered why my bedroom's color and decorations seemed all wrong. What happened to my band posters? Sitting up in astonishment upon realizing I was in Ayan's room. Wracking my brains for an explanation. I was pretty sure I was drinking with Nick and Boston last night. Did I come here? Surely I was too drunk to drive.
Looking around for Ayan, terribly embarrassed, wondering if I said anything out of the line last night. Realizing he wasn't in the room, I was about to get up when I found a note on the bedside table with a bottle of aspirin, water with honey and a key. Saying he had to leave early due to an early meeting and that I should take two aspirins and drink all the honey water. At the bottom as if hastily added, he said to take the key to the house and lock up when I leave.
For some reason, I felt ridiculously happy at the gesture. Ayan gave me the key to his house when he told me he didn't want anybody else in it, hence the dismissal of all the staff. He also reminded me we have a three o'clock meeting today at the company. Oh Shit! Scrambling off the bed; wincing from the headache, I took two aspirins as instructed and drank the whole glass of honey water. Apparently anything Ayan prepares tastes better.
Finding a simple soup and toasted bread at the counter, I ate everything and dashed out. Not wanting to be late for my meeting with the CEO. I called Nick while I was eating and he told me I left my motorcycle at Yolo, just blabbering about going to a guy named Ayan. He was confused because he thought I was dating Ray but I was boarding a cab before he could stop me. Scoffing at my almost mishap, thankfully I didn't reveal the truth to Nick.
Still smiling to myself as I walked into the Eclipse Records building a little after 2 o'clock. Feeling ridiculously happy for some reason even if I didn't get to see Ayan this morning. My manager raised an eyebrow at my surprisingly cherry behavior. Shrugging, I discussed some of my upcoming schedules with her and everything I got to prepare. Telling me she sent the details to my line too , I absently nodded that I heard.
"So this is your first time to come face to face with the whole team and the ever elusive CEO. Are you excited?" Beth asked, handing me a cup of coffee.
"Thanks and yes, I am very excited. I wonder how he is at work," I mused out loud.
"Who?" Beth asked confused. "Oh you mean the CEO? Yeah. He is absolutely a perfectionist at work so you should think about whatever you want to say during the meeting before saying it. He could slit your throat with his words. I remember you being all flirty with him during the ball. He might not like it if you did that today," she warned.
Nodding in acknowledgment, yet having a hard time picturing the Ayan I know with the image of the one she is describing. Walking into the meeting room, with almost all the department leaders and front and center is the man I've been thinking about since I woke up this morning. Absolutely gorgeous but looking exhausted and pissed off. He was discussing something with the person on his right and only looked up when Thua whispered I had arrived.
Looking straight at me but with a totally impassive face whereas I couldn't help the big smile on my face. Ayan momentarily paused looking at my face when he saw the smile but was tapped by Thua, bringing him back to the present.
We were discussing the song line ups, album cover, the promotion plans and basically everything that an artist needs to become popular. Ayan clearly had a vision for my career path but before he voices his opinion, he always lets me speak first after each presentation.
A few wide eyed stares were thrown my way but no one said a word about the obvious difference in our interaction with the way Ayan deals with his other artists. Mostly agreeing to my song choices except for two. He said we have got to remove Crescent Eyes and Secrets from this album. Ironically both those songs I wrote for him, so I couldn't help but ask.
"With all due respect Mr. President, do you mind telling me why you want those two songs removed? I love those songs and they are very important to me," I eyed him curiously and a little indignantly because they were for him. Did he not like them? How can he throw those songs away?
A series of shocked gasps could be heard across the room, everyone probably questioning my sanity for speaking up to the most powerful man in the company. Ayan looked at me for a tad too long. I was beginning to regret asking. Mentally prepared myself to be told to shut up and just do as I am told.
Instead, Ayan drank from his coffee cup before answering. "All songs in this album are about heartbreak, trying to forget and move on. It basically created a theme for your album. Dark, angsty, broken rockstar. I assume all these songs are personal and the time you wrote them you were going through each emotion. Crescent Eyes and Secrets are the exact contrast to the rest. It's about the joy and hope of falling in love again, the journey to recovering and it's obviously written for someone else, not the one you were singing about for all those other songs. Don't get me wrong, these two songs are great. In fact, I think Crescent Eyes is my favorite. But if you want them released, I suggest you wait to put them in your next album. Won't it be better for you to create Unchaste and be able to hand them to that person, knowing you moved on from them by putting everything down into your melody and lyrics? If you include Crescent Eyes and Secrets in there, he'd think they were about him." He pointed out but there was no anger.
Ironically, I think it's Ayan's way of telling me he knows I wrote the last two songs for him and he doesn't want to be in the same album as the one I made for Boeing. He is making sense, but the next album could take two years. I don't want to waste the songs I wrote for Ayan.
The meeting room had gone so quiet after Ayan's explanation. No one even dared to breathe in case it pissed Ayan off, who had put his chin on his clasped hands on the table, looking at me challengingly.
"What happens if I don't agree to take them off the list?" I asked him directly, also looking him in the eyes.
"Normally, I'd tell you I don't give a fucking damn what you want. I'm the one who will sign off everything. But for your guts newbie, I'll make an exception just this one time. I'll let you decide if you want to keep them or wait for your next album. Which I'm pretty sure would be 100 percent about this new person. I already have an idea what that album would look like in contrast to Unchaste's dark theme. I think Rebirth would be a good album title," he actually smiled and the room was quieter. The reason no longer being fear, but absolute wonder at the rare beautiful smile on their boss' face.
"You're right, your vision seems better than mine and I have one hundred percent trust in your expertise and experience. I'll follow your suggestion Mr. President," I assured him. Feeling lighter than ever, knowing I am in great hands and Ayan knows what he is doing. The way he's already planning for the next album, while we are still working on the first.
"All right, is there anything else?" Ayan asked everyone in the room.
A hesitant hand was raised and Ayan gave a nod for her to speak up.
"Hi Sand, I'm Sara, the head for the PR department. I'm pretty sure this question sounds too personal but for us to be prepared for all circumstances I need to get this out of the way. Are you currently in a relationship? We just want to know, so we can prepare in case there'll be a scandal in the height of your promotions," she asked.
"I'm not sure yet Phi, but I started seeing someone just recently," I answered briefly, glancing at Ayan as I did.
"Hmmm... well, getting into a new relationship when starting a showbiz career is a pretty bad idea, you might want to rethink this," Sara pointed out.
"You're the third person who told me that Phi. The first one would be the one I am dating, the second his best friend and now you. I'm pretty sure my answer would still be "I'll take the consequence if something happens Phi," I told her.
"You must remember, if you wreck your career you are not only doing damage to yourself, the company is spending a lot of money on you," Sara told me directly. I can feel Ayan and Thua's stare but I ignored them.
"I'll be careful Phi. Also, I don't know if this is important for you to know now but I'm Bisexual. If that information gets out in public, would that be a problem?"I asked her frankly.
Wide eyed and glancing at Ayan as if evaluating what's the right thing to do, when I opened about my sexuality so easily.
"But this kind of thing will have a big impact on your career," she said slowly.
"I know Phi. I wanted to be a voice for the LGBTQ community, that is why I'm pursuing this career. We just want to be treated like anyone else. Gender shouldn't matter at all," Making my stand on the matter clear, in case she ever suggests we keep this a secret.
"We can safely assume a lot of people already know this, right?", it was Ayan who spoke and I nodded.
"Then I suggest Ms. PR leader, find a way to disclose this information ASAP during his promotions and make it so it will be beneficial for him instead of another hitch in his career," Ayan told the PR Director acidly.
Nodding in fear, she had started writing on her iPad. After checking there's no more questions, Ayan dismissed the meeting. He put his head in his hand as if he was having a migraine and told Thua to close the door after everyone leaves and to dim the lights.
AYAN
My migraine must be caused by both lack of sleep and the early start of endless meetings today. Thankfully the meeting with Sand had been the last. Asking Thua to close the door and dim the light before leaving, wanting to get back my bearings before heading home. Finally picking up my car tomorrow, that would prevent me from further inconveniencing Thua by making him leave home earlier to also pick me up.
Recalling how I had almost ran to the curve this morning preventing Thua from barging into the house, regretting giving him a spare key for emergency. After all, I was living alone. If no one else had a key, if something happens I'd be left there helpless.
Barely sleeping at all after Sand arrived drunk last night. He had clung to me all night, whispering sweet nothings and kissing. He'd probably be embarrassed if he finds out but I should be more embarrassed because I was sober and I let him. I even left him a spare key so he would be comfortable to leave whenever. Groaning at my stupidity, I heard the door creak open. Thinking it was Thua asking if I was ready to leave, I told him to go on home without me because I can call a ride home later.
Placing a couple of aspirin in my hand and water, I looked up to find Sand gazing at me in concern.
"What are you doing here?" I asked in surprise.
"Drink that first. You look like you are about to pass out," he instructed. Feeling too tired and in pain to argue, I drank two of the pills.
"You shouldn't be here. People will get suspicious why we are both here when the meeting's over," I told him.
"Most people had gone home now and I made sure to have an excuse to come back. I told Beth I left my guitar here," He smirked pointing at his guitar, still propped against thewall.
Grimacing at the pounding headache, I sighed. "Did you leave it here on purpose?" Head in my hand, I kept my eyes closed, willing the medicine to take effect.
"Yeah I saw you weren't doing alright. Why don't I take you home?" Sand offered.
"You don't have to Sand, I also don't want to give my PR Team a problem before they can come up with how to package your sexuality," almost smiling, if only I wasn't in so much pain at the thought of the shocked PR Managers face when Sand just directly said he was bisexual.
Sitting down beside me, he nods. "No ones gonna find it odd that someone who works for you offers to take you home Mr. President, when you're clearly not alright."
"Thua's still here. I'll go home with him," I told him.
"Okay, I'll just stay here and be quiet. I just want to make sure you're alright," he says.
"Keep talking, your voice is kinda calming," I responded and he smiled brightly, his cute dimple showing their cuteness.
"Well, if you're sure. By the way, how did I end up at your house last night?" He asked curiously.
"You don't remember anything do you?" I glanced at him.
Shaking his head, I finally cracked a smile. "Too bad then, you'd be very entertained as I had been last night if you did," I teased him.
"Oh God! Did I do something uncomfortable? Did I sprout a lot of nonsense? I tend to do that when I'm drunk. I get all clingy if I like someone and I say things," he cuts his sentence clearly feeling embarrassed despite not recalling everything.
Feeling myself blush despite the migraine, remembering Sand's touch and intimately whispered words in bed last night. Refusing to look him in the eye anymore, I pretended to be in too much pain to save myself from answering.
Hearing a short rap on the door, Thua strode in. Shocked to see Sand and raising his eyebrows. Clearly indicating this is not a safe environment to be in close proximity.
"I forgot my guitar, Thua. I came back to get it, but saw Ayan here so I stayed for a bit to make sure he's alright," Sand assured Thua. Finally standing up to pick up his guitar, he looked at me a little too familiarly for a casual acquaintance before softly saying I should go home to rest now and that he's going to work in the recording room for a bit.
Sighing in relief, Thua asked me if I needed to go to the hospital. Declining, telling Thua I just needed to sleep this off. He nodded and told me he had my bag and we could leave now. Calling Khan and telling him to drop by my house before going home so he can check on me, I smiled in appreciation at these two friends who had cared for me more than anyone would expect from their friends.
THUA
Ayan had fallen asleep finally. Khan is currently still with him checking his vitals, worried that he had been getting more frequent migraines lately. I was in the kitchen making Ayan porridge so he has food when he wakes up. Spotting two sets of everything in the dish drying rack made me curious. But then again maybe Ayan had just not washed his dishes previously.
Glancing briefly at the clock, it's already 10pm. We have to go home soon or Khan wont even get a decent sleep tonight. As if hearing my thoughts, Khan had come down the stairs. Concern etched in his eyes as he asked if I had the contact information of Ayan's therapist in the US. Assuring him I'll get it, he nods and moves to pick up his bag when we both hear the lock on the door turn. Freezing in surprise, because only I had a spare key and Ayan is certainly in bed. Khan had swiftly moved over to me, placing me behind his back but the one who came in was certainly as surprised as we are.
"Sand?" I uttered in surprise.
Large eyes bulged as he looked over to us, knowing full well there's no way out of this situation.
"Uh... hi. Sorry, did I frighten you both? I just finished recording and had bought Ayan some porridge, thinking he must not have eaten anything," he smiled tentatively, holding out the packed food.
"You have a key?" Was all I managed to utter.
Before Sand could answer, Khan had dragged me out and told Sand to take care of Ayan. Telling him to call him through Aye's phone if something happens.
"But Khan! I thought they just went on one date. How does he already have a key to his house?" I protested as Khan placed me on the passenger seat.
Walking over to his side, he sighs and finally utters, "Babe, can't you see? If Ayan likes him it's none of our business and technically we should be celebrating. Ayan hadn't been with anyone else beside Akk."
"No... that's the exact problem Khan. He looks like Akk! What if Ayan is just confusing his feelings? What if he just reminded him of Akk, that is why he is taking things too far, too fast?" I insisted, now utterly worried for my best friend whose previous relationship had fallen apart due to my fault. Still feeling guilty for the last five years that Ayan had suffered and still hoping Akk would also forgive me someday as Ayan had done. Ayan had become the sibling I never had, but also, I was paying penance for the way I had ruined his and Akk's life. Ayan will never tell me this, but I know at some deep part of his heart he still felt resentment at the fact that my revelation of their secret relationship had led to Akk's breakdown and eventually the very painful words said during their breakup that had wrecked Ayan's psyche permanently.
"Khan, what if Sand breaks what Ayan had so fragilely put back together? He won't survive it this time," I finally whisper my fear.
"Trust Ayan to know how he feels. He finally let his emotion decide for him again, babe. I think Sand really likes him and whatever happens, we'll be here for him," Khan, who has always been my own pillar of strength, assures me as he squeezes my hand with his own free ones.
Unknowingly as the lovers drove home holding each other's hands, Khan's phone had been ringing. It had been on silent mode since he had been at the hospital today. It finally stopped ringing and the missed calls appeared on the screen along with the messages that are about to change Sand and Ayan's story forever.
Short note from the Author 👋
Hi! Hope everyone's alright.
Finally back to normal.
Sorry it took so long.
Thankfully next December is still far off 😅
I'm getting back to my original pacing.
Hope everyone's still here!
Don't forget to let me know what you think.