Hei guys,
Are y'all ready for the angst to begin bc this chapter will be what starts it all! From now on it'll be ROUGH for my girls. I'm wishing you luck ahaha.
Also I'm really sorry about not posting for a while, I've been so extremely busy with moving countries, trynna find a job, the christmas holidays, seeing everyone after being gone for half a year etc. Hopefully I'll have more time now, though I'm still applying for jobs so that'll of course come first.
Well let's just begin, shall we?
Hope you like it.
Chapter warnings:
Nothing, but lemme know if I missed anything.
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It all started out as a completely normal day, Clarke would never have thought anything amiss.
"Hey, love" Lexa says as she enters the room with two plates of food for breakfast, pushing the door open with her hip, which is so very hot, Clarke thinks to herself. When Lexa is almost at the bed, Clarke removes those thoughts from her head and begins to get up, "no" Lexa says quickly, making the younger girl stop in her tracks.
"Lexa, I'm better. If you're never going to let me move myself, I won't ever. I've literally healed, I'm fine!" Clarke complains.
Lexa lets out a small laugh, shaking her head, as she makes her way towards the bed. She kisses Clarke on the lips, setting down the plates on the bed and making her way under the covers herself, before finally saying, "I know. It wasn't that. I just thought we should have breakfast in bed. I've been really busy the last few days and I won't have any time today either, so I was thinking we should at least have breakfast together today. Plus you told me about bringing your loved one food in bed is a skaikru custom and I don't want you to lose your culture, Ai Gona."
"Ai hod yu in, so much" Clarke says, peppering kisses all over Lexa's face. The older girl laughs, her eyes are closed as she lets the blonde bombard her with kisses. Lexa's laugh is the most beautiful thing she's ever heard and she doesn't think she could ever get enough of it. She'd do anything in the world to hear this girl's laugh.
"Clarke! The food." Lexa gets out between laughs, but Clarke just presses her own lips against Lexa's quickly before sitting back against the wall.
Suddenly the thought hits her of how close she was to losing all of this. How one small bullet could have taken all of this away from them. If Lexa had come in just one second earlier or one second later, one of them could have been hit in a more crucial place. They were so lucky and Clarke is not going to take that for granted.
Her heart feels heavy and he throat closes up just by the thought of what could have happened, what almost happened.
"Are you okay?" Lexa asks.
Clarke somehow managed to speak trough the lump in her throat, though she can hear that he voice does sound off, "yeah, I'm fine." she says, smiling at the girl beside her.
"No, you aren't. You're crying, Niron. What's wrong? You can tell me."
"It's just my thoughts" she starts saying, using the heel of her hand to dry away the tears she hadn't noticed before. "Can we talk about something else, please?"
"Yes, of course." Lexa says "how do you like the food?"
"It's really good," she answers as she takes another bite.
"I'm glad."
"You said you were busy today, what are you gonna be doing all day?"
"Just meetings upon meetings, you know how it is."
Clarke laughs, "I do. I've gotten myself a very busy girlfriend"
"Girlfriend?" Lexa asks, tilting her head slightly , her brows furrowed and questions clear in her eyes.
"Sorry! I didn't even ask if you were okay with it and I-" Clarke rambles embarrassed, completely misinterpreting the other girls confusion.
"That is not what I meant. I apologize. I simply do not understand what girlfriend is"
"Oh" Clarke breathes out relieved, "well it's a word we use for our partner who's a girl. Like the person we're with... Dating, you know" she tries to explain and luckily Lexa seems to understand it fairly quickly, but to be fair, she is an extremely intelligent person. There's a reason she's the first commander of all thirteen clans.
"Well that makes sense. I would love to be your girlfriend, Clarke Kom Skaikru." Lexa says, which makes a wide smile form on Clarke's face as she feels her cheeks heat up. Lexa kisses her on the lips before asking, "So, what about you? What are your plans today? I do feel bad about not being here all day, so I am sorry about that."
"Don't apologize. I know what I signed up for when I started dating you" Clarke begins. "I think I'll take a walk around polis and then-" she stops and looks away, because she really doesn't want to see Lexa's reaction to this. She knows it'll hurt her, but she decided yesterday that it was time, "then I'll pack my bag. I'll leave for Arkadia today. I'm sorry Lex, but they need me right now and I'm finally healed enough to go. I wish I could stay here, but I can't. Sorry"
A look passes through Lexa's eyes as her body freezes up, but it happens so fast that Clarke doesn't know if it really happened or not. She shakes the weird feeling off, knowing that if Lexa needs to talk about something, she'll come to her in her own time. Sometimes she needs a push before she talks to Clarke about it, communication is not her strong side, but the blonde girl wants to give her a chance to bring it up herself. Also she really doesn't want to risk bringing in a fight right before she has to leave. It would tear her apart to leave on bad terms.
"I'm sorry" she repeats.
"It's okay, Clarke. You need to be with your family." The brunette starts getting out of bed "Sorry, Ai niron, I have to go. I'll see you before you leave." Lexa gives her a quick kiss on the lips, before leaving their room.
Clarke stares after her long after she's gone, wondering what just happened, but she quickly drops it, but does decide to speak to Lexa about it before she goes to Arkadia. Right now, she really has to pack because she doesn't want to stress about it later, so she gets out of bed, finds her bag and starts putting her clothes, some books and a few other things into the bag. Hopefully she won't be gone long, so she doesn't pack all her things, only the most necessary. She doesn't even pack all her clothes.
It does take her a few hours to pack, not because she has a lot of things, but because she doesn't have to leave in a hurry so she takes her time about it, having some fun while packing.
When she's done, she decides to go find Lexa as well as food for the road. She leaves the room and first she decides to go to the top of the tower to see if Lexa might be in a meeting or something. When she gets there, Lexa isn't there, she asks a guard where she is, he informs her that the Heda is in Indra's quarters, so Clarke goes there. They're probably discussing something important, but Lexa doesn't keep things from Clarke, just as Clarke doesn't keep things from Lexa, so she doesn't think it matters that she interrupts them quickly to say goodbye. She wouldn't interrupt if Lexa was in a meeting with the ambassadors, she'd probably just wait till they were done or let a guard know to meet her in their room afterwards, but since it's just Indra it shouldn't matter.
When she gets to the right room, with some help of course since she's never been there, she's about to open the door, her hand is on the handle when she hears her name. Listen, Clarke wouldn't normally eavesdrop, but she has trust issues, okay? Not that she can't trust Lexa. Yes, she betrayed her that one time, but they barely knew each other, let alone loved each other, there's no way she'd do that now. Indra on the other hand. She trusts Indra, she really does, but she's fiercely loyal to her people and if she's against Clarke or skaikru in any way, she needs to know.
"I don't know how to stop her, Indra," she hears Lexa say.
"Maybe you shouldn't Heda. I get that you have feelings for the girl, trust me, I've grown to care about Octavia kom Skaikru like she was a child of mine, but those two are a danger."
"Neither are dangerous. I trust them... Or at least Clarke trusts Octavia and I trust Clarke."
"Your love is blinding you!" Indra bursts out. Clarke hears her take a deep breath, before continuing, "I apologize, Heda. I meant no disrespect. All I'm saying is that Clarke Kom Skaikru is loyal to her people and Octavia Kom Skaikru is loyal to her brother. If you are to kill their people, neither are to be trusted alive."
Clarke presses her hand against her mouth so she doesn't give herself away. kill their people? What is Lexa planning? Please don't let Lexa be behind this. Clarke's heart couldn't handle it. Not again.
Then comes the dreaded words from Lexa, "I know," she starts with a sigh, "but there must be something we can do. I want to get rid of Skaikru, it's what needs to be done. My soldiers are even ready to leave as soon as tonight as planned, but I can't lose Clarke."
"I know Heda, I'm sorry" Clarke hears Indra say and that's all she hears before she turns around on her heels, running through the halls, tears flowing down her cheeks, but she quickly wipes them away and slows down to a walk when she realizes no one can notice anything or she's as good as dead. She gets to their room, closing the door behind her, letting out a sob, but quickly pushing it back down, she can cry when she gets back to Arkadia, but not here, not now. She quickly grabs her bag, leaving the room and walking fast towards the stable.
"I'm leaving today, get a horse ready for me, please" she says in a rush, badly hiding her haste.
"Do you have permission to-"
She doesn't even let the poor stableboy finish before interrupting him, "I'm Clarke Kom Skaikru and I need a horse now."
"Of course," he answers before readying a horse for her.
It doesn't take long before she's riding out of Polis, galloping through the woods, towards Arkadia. She never did get the food for the journey, but it's fine, she just needs to get there, fast, so she can warn them and help defend her people. She should never have trusted Lexa, not after mount weather, she feels so naive right now. How could she be so stupid? This is all her fault. She needs to fix it, even if it'll cost her life.
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Lexa instantly stops talking as does Indra when a guard enters the room.
"Why are you disturbing us? This better be important!" She says, glaring at the guard who had the audacity to walk in without knocking even though she specifically instructed them to not interrupt this meeting.
"I apologize Heda," he starts with a bow, "you just told us to let you know immediately if anything happened with Clarke Kom Skaikru."
Lexa's heart stops and her thoughts run wild, the next worse than the prior. "What happened?" She commands him to speak.
"She left, Heda."
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Oh no. Guess Lexa betrayed Clarke, again. Will she really kill Clarke and all her people? Well she is a leader after all and leaders need to do what's best for their people. Anyways, you'll find out more about what's going on and why Lexa is doing this in the upcoming chapters. It'll be a lot of angst for a while now, so get ready because it'll take Clarke a long arse time to get over this betrayal. I'm so excited to write Clarke and Lexa being on opposite sides of a war! Enemies while lovers is coming and it's gonna be amazing! I can't wait! But tbh y'all are probably not as excited as me about the extreme upcoming ANGST!Anyways, I really hope you guys liked this chapter and I hope you have a great day!