That night while Arthur slept, a lamp cast its glow on the boy's front step, revealing an orange cat resting and the gnomes looking on with their stone gaze. With a long yawn, the feline glared into the night before a noise, the rustling of fallen leaves, made it dart up to its paws. After a long sniff, the creature bounded out into the dim, leaving the front step still and quiet.
Well, it wasn't for long.
Suddenly, a twinkle flashed in the eyes of the lady gnome before it spread like embers until her entire body, her pointy red hat, her polka dot shoes and the flowers she was holding flickered with a bright pale white.
Then as if a vacuum had sucked it all up, the gleam vanished before the gnome's nose started to twitch. And the twitching grew and grew until a monstrous sneeze thundered out.
'Why does that cat always lie down next to me every night,' the lady gnome all of a sudden tweeted. She sneezed again before shooting an evil eye at the gentleman gnome. 'Don't you even think I've forgotten about our argument last night. You will change this instant.'
The gentleman gnome stood as still and stone cold as before.
'If you don't change, Bitty,' the lady gnome continued, 'I will come over there right now and shove these flowers right in your big ears.'
In another sequence of dancing light, the gentleman gnome and the tiny fish at the end of his rod sprang to life.
'There's no need for that, sweetums,' Bitty squeaked.
'Don't you dare call me sweetums,' the lady gnome growled back. 'I'm very angry with you. Livid, in fact.'
'May I ask why, sw–Dolores?'
'Why? You know what you said last night.'
Bitty shrugged. 'Do I? What did I say?'
Dolores screwed up her face in thought for several moments, clearly trying to remember, before replying, 'Do you know what, I can't recall.'
'As always,' Bitty muttered quietly.
'What was that?'
'What was what?'
'You said something.'
'I didn't say a thing.'
'Yes, you did.'
'No, I didn't. You must be hearing things.'
'Don't you dare,' Dolores screamed. 'You said something. Admit it.'
'Keep your voice down,' Bitty replied, getting angry himself, 'you'll wake Arthur. No, you'll wake the entire neighborhood. No, you'll wake the entire country.'
Now whispering, Dolores came back, 'That joke is never funny.'
'It's not supposed to be a joke. Sometimes you can be excruciatingly loud.'
Dolores grunted before a flash of realization swept over her. 'Ah, now I remember. This is what we were arguing about last night. You called me loudmouth.'
Nodding, Bitty said, 'Very good. And you were loud last night just like tonight.'
'I am not loud.'
'Yes, you are.'
'NO! I AM NOT!'
'Quiet. Do you want to bring back the cat? Because if you continue like this, it will. And not only will it make you sneeze up a storm, it might look at you as dinner. Chomp, chomp. Actually–' Bitty put a finger to his chin '--that might be a good idea. I'd definitely get some peace around here.' Then with a yell, he squealed, 'HERE KITTY, KITTY, KITTY! HERE KITTY, KITTY, KITTY! I'VE GOT SOME FOOD FOR YOU!'
'Stop that,' breathed Dolores. 'That's not funny either.'
Bitty smiled devilishly. 'Will you be quiet then?'
Dolores folded her arms in a huff and grumbled, 'Fine.'
'Thank you. Now, I shall call the others to tell them that Arthur's parents will be away for a while.' Bitty pursed his lips to whistle and blew as hard as he could, his face turning red, but no hiss came.
However, the call was most definitely heard, for shortly after, the sound of scurrying sprouted from the darkness. And it was not from the pounding paws of the orange cat but the pitter patter of tiny shoes.
Before the two gnomes knew, several others popped into the glow. Standing the tallest, one wore a green hat with a red bauble on top, another had the dangliest of ears that almost reached the ground and a gray beard graced the face of the one beside him. There was one bespectacled with the thickest of glasses, one who wore flippers, and garden gloves and a shovel adorned the smallest of the bunch.
'Greetings, everyone,' bowed Bitty.
'Is there any trouble?' asked the lady gnome with the red bauble. 'I heard you two fighting again. I heard you last night too.'
Blushing, Dolores said, embarrassed, 'You must have been hearing things, Haga.'
'No, I wasn't. You two were definitely fighting.'
'I heard it too,' said the gnome with the flippers.
'Me too,' came all the others.
'Whatever you heard,' interrupted Bitty, briefly glaring at Dolores, 'it is not why I called you.'
'What is it then?' asked the bespectacled one.
'Well, Glasses, Arthur's parents will be away for a while. We just want all of you to be on extra lookout, to keep your eyes peeled. You all know how special Arthur is and what he's destined to do.'
All the gnomes turned solemn and hung their heads.
'We'll finally get to go back home again,' said the gnome with long ears. 'To Huge Hill.'
'Precisely, Dapple,' replied Dolores. 'Arthur will help us rid our lives of goblins and we'll get to go back to our old homes.'
'But first,' said Bitty, 'we need to keep Arthur safe. Yes?'
'Here, here!' the other gnomes echoed, their glumness now gone.
'Now, Flippers,' continued Bitty, 'I want you to do a few more laps of the creeks and the human's swimming pools around here than you normally do.'
'Aye, aye,' bowed the gnome with the flippers before taking out a snorkel and mask.
'Tiny?'
'Yes?' answered the smallest of the lot, the one with the shovel.
'I want you to dig a few more tunnels around here. Just in case we need to move quickly and stealthily.'
'You can count on me.'
'And lastly, Youngone?' said Bitty.
The gnome with the gray beard nodded.
'I want you to take the rest and patrol the streets.'
'You got it,' replied Youngone.
'Excellent. Now, if any of you come across trouble, you all know to tell me or Miss Eustace immediately.'
'Yes,' came a chorus.
'Good. Now that will be all. Off you go.'
Salutes swept through the group of gnomes before they vanished as quickly as they came. Bitty then turned to Dolores and gave her a look of triumph.
'Why are you staring at me like that?' snapped the lady gnome.
'I told you,' Bitty replied.
'Told me what?'
'That you're a loudmouth.'
And just like that, steam began to billow out of Dolores' ears and she went as red as a tomato.
Bitty knew a scream was to come and said, wagging his finger, 'Don't do it. Do you want the others to hear us fighting again? Not to mention, you'll wake Arthur and I would like to cook my dinner in silence.'
'You mean our dinner,' Dolores croaked, trying desperately to keep her scream bottled.
Bitty took the tiny fish off of his rod and replied, 'I'm the one who caught this. And it took me ages.'
'But I'm hungry. I haven't eaten since last night.'
'Neither have I. Eat those flowers that you were going to shove in my ears. I'm sure they taste as lovely as you.' Another devilish grin graced Bitty.
Dolores grumbled before whipping her bouquet above her hat and tossing it at her husband.
But Bitty was ready, ducking down just in time, and the flowers soared off into the pitch black. He then popped back up and started to laugh deeply, causing Dolores to steam even more until her hat began to flame and smoke.
'Ooh, may I.' Bitty snapped a twig from a bush nearby, took it over to Dolores and lit it with her fiery cap. Then taking the flaming twig back to his side of the front step, he grabbed more twigs and made a roaring fire at his feet. Not long after, the fish was cooking away. 'Now that smells absolutely delicious.'
Dolores grumbled more, but this time with a quiver of saddened dismay.
Bitty looked back at his wife before saying with a tone of regret and forgiveness, 'Do you know what, sweetums? You can have this fish. I can go catch another.'
In an instant, Dolores stopped steaming and the fire sizzling away on her hat blew out. 'Are you sure?'
'Very much.'
'That's very sweet of you.'
'Something sweet for my sweetums. Here.' From his back pocket, Bitty whipped out a plate and placed the now cooked fish on top. He then went over and handed it and a fork to his wife.
Dolores gave her husband a peck on the cheek. 'Thank you, dear.'
'My pleasure as always.' Bitty walked back to the fire.
'You were right. It smells delicious,' said Dolores. She then raised the fork, ready to dig in.
But before she could take a bite, the orange cat sprang out from nowhere, snatched the fish from the plate and leapt back into the night. And as Dolores began to steam and sneeze again, Bitty couldn't stop himself from laughing.