You claim you don't hate me, you claim that you live, you claim all thing yet y'all constantly call me a(n):
-screw up
-embarrassment
-bitch
-retarde
-lazy
-cry baby
-dumb ass
-problem
-fat
-flat
-ugly
-dumb
-N word
-stupid
-dumb
You constantly insult my looks, my interest and generally everything about me. You make me feel alone, hated, useless , stupid, fat, ugly and so much more and yet you still get offended when I say I want to move away for college/university.
When my friends and cousins left you got angry at me for my brothers actions, you switched our positions in your yelling fest so I seemed worst. Despite the fact that my guest asked me "Wait you actually need to live with this" I was the one who embarrassed you. According to you everything is my fucking fault.
At dinner you said that I embarrassed you, okay fine I can live with that. Buy you took it to far when you put my brothers words into my mouth, when you switched our roles, when you didn't have a single regard about how what you were saying was affecting me.
You get angry at me for everything and you're pretty damn vocal about it. My brothers never get yelled at or blamed and my mom doesn't do a damn thing about it. There are two people in my family who wouldn't celebrate or not notice if I died, my mother and fucking dog.
I wanted a fresh start but you're making that so hard, I want to let go if last year's problems but you're creating new ones. I want to be happy but you're making that fucking hard. It's your fault I can't sleep, eat, laugh, socialize but you proceed to make it my fault.
Im sorry that Im not perfect but neither are my brothers but I don't see you yelling at them and making them feel like they should kill themselves so you don't have to deal with them anymore. Im sorry but I'm sick of you I want to run away but I need a education, a shelter,ect.