Umeed Pasha was seven years old when she slipped from the stairs of her house. Given her boisterous nature and the urge to never sit silently in one place, it was normal for her family whenever she got scratched or bruised but this was indeed her first big injury that didn't let her mother sleep for nights.
Initially, Umeed found those eight stitches right above her ear incredibly ugly until her mother calmed her down telling her how fascinating it looked, further soothing her daughter by creating a story that her scars carry magic dust which makes her little beetle even more special.
Whenever Umeed recalled that time she remembered her mother barging through the hospital doors while she scooped in her father's arms. Arzu Pasha, who that day appointed her husband to look after her kids while she was away at her sister's place decided she'd never leave her kids in her husband's supervision again.
But she did leave. 5 years later. Within the blink of an eye. Relatives would often say that it'd have hurt less if she had been sick for years and months. But Umeed wanted to fight them, telling them that no matter what the circumstances were, it hurt immensely. She didn't need their empty condolences. She lost respect for many of them when right after her mother's funeral, everybody was more concerned about what was for dinner. She heard someone asking her chachu whether they'd have chicken or daal. That day she felt this urge to fight everybody. She wanted to scream at the lady asking her already mourning Chachi for an extra naan, she wanted to smack her cousins playing in the lounge right where her mother's dead body lay a few hours ago.
That night when Arzu was buried, Umeed stayed in her mother's room on her cold bed. She didn't know if her father returned from the graveyard. Sameer probably slept with Aghu Jaan and Chachu Chachi looked after the guests who were probably staying till quls. Umeed didn't know what exactly it was but she wished it'd end so these people would leave soon. This wasn't Umeed's first time sleeping on that bed, she'd often do that when she was scared. Arzu ensured she slept with her when she tripped off the stairs. Whenever Umeed got scared her mother would press her to her chest, and recite Quranic verses, telling her it was okay. That night, Umeed was equally scared, sobbing in her mother's pillow that smelled like her but there was no warmth, no motherly embrace. Nobody came to check on her as her mother did and the next morning she woke up without a comforter- something that had never happened before. It was the day she realized things were going to be different. It was only her mother who'd check on her every night ensuring that she hadn't slipped the comforter while sleeping. Umeed knew that night, she'd have to protect herself and her brother from now onwards. So, the next morning when she woke up, she went to Aghu Jaan's room and found a sleeping Sameer and covered him with a chadar just like their mother would do.
Umeed learnt many things after her mother passed away and one of them was that not everyone would be there to look after her wounds hence she'd have to tend them by herself. Not that her Aghu Jaan, Chachu, or Haya did not love her enough, they left no stone unturned in spoiling her, saving her from Pasha Saab's wrath but when she got herself in a brawl with Tasneem, her maternal cousin at Haya's birthday party, nobody stepped up to defend her, nobody knew it wasn't just her who pushed him but he also scratched her arms leaving marks and pinched her leaving a bruise. Of course, it hurt but she told herself the magic dust her mother talked about, was enough for her to deal with the world.
And seemingly it did.
It did when she jumped from the wall of her house for the first time. It did when she ran away so she wouldn't have to give MDCAT. It did so many times and she was grateful for her mother, and her family who in their own capacity never stopped caring for her. Sometimes, Pasha Saab's negligence, Chachi's daant would get unbearable. Even when she wasn't at fault, Umeed found herself in trouble, and that's when she would miss her mother the most. It'd break her little by little but then back in her room, her Haya would hug her tightly followed by endless tickles and none of the scoldings mattered anymore. However, Umeed wished that her father would know that it wasn't her fault when the girl in school pushed her from the slide. She wished he'd know how her lower lip bled when the neighborhood kid pulled her ponytail during a fight. She knew if her mother was alive she wouldn't have slept with pain in her limbs. She knew Arzu Pasha would've ensured the ones who bullied her daughter were reprimanded equally.
But it was okay.
Umeed knew she had more reasons to be grateful for. She was grateful for her Haya, for the weekly oil champees by her Aghu Jaan who'd give them twice a day thanks to her forgetful nature. She was grateful when Hilal Chachu at least tried to defend her in front of Pasha Saab and her school teacher though most of the time he'd fail. She was even grateful for her Chachi who despite everything made sure to cook Umeed's favorite meal. It was Chachi who kept her mother's clothes secure and safe. It was Chachi who'd often say, "bilkul Arzu bhabhi prr gai ho Umeed," and the remark was filled with adoration and awe telling Umeed how much her Zeenat missed her Bhabhi.
It wasn't intentional, but all these years made Umeed someone who would never create a ruckus over her pain. Be it a scratch or fever, she'd trust the magic dust and go with the flow. She had become strong, so strong that she felt weird when someone cared a bit too much. She'd never understand why were they doing this.
She had become this fearless tigress who'd take risks even if it meant putting her life in grave danger.
The day she ran away to avoid getting engaged to Waleed was one of those risks she took without any backup plan. Getting into a stranger's car felt more secure than trusting her father with the man he chose to marry her off with.
When she waited for her family to pick her up from the airport late at night, she wasn't scared, just angry and annoyed for being misunderstood once again. Her heart did whisper why couldn't they care for you? But she told herself that she was enough and she didn't have anybody to care for her. She had 2 crores now that'd be enough. If not care, at least she'll be respected and earn some validation from Pasha Saab that she secretly yearned for.
It was years of practice. Surviving alone. Finding ways for herself knowing nobody is coming around for help. Which is why she was never ready for the sudden change that entered her life.
It felt like the magic dust acted differently.
So, when Farjaad Khan Bahadur entered Umeed's life, she did not know what it was going to be like. Was she to allow to him take over?
Never.
Initially, she'd never let him pick her up from her house when they'd go on dates. After all, why should he come all the way from his office to Bahadurabad when she could do the same? Of course, he didn't listen.
It was Haya who told Umeed to let him take care of her. Her cousin knew her like no other and she could see when Umeed closed her wings and started getting anxious. Not that she didn't trust him but sometimes, it felt unneeded. When Farjaad got to know that Niggo had earlier asked Umeed to stop calling her mama, he asked her why she hadn't told him. She had no answer. She knew he knew she was hurt but there was no reason to whine about it in front of her boyfriend.
Yes, she'd blatantly scold him for not giving her time and more but she'd also not tell him how much it hurt her when Zuleikha Khala didn't attend their wedding or bothered to congratulate.
.
"Umeed, kyun krti ho aese? Fracture hojata toh?" He hadn't let go of her hand since they left the cafe. Despite her telling him incessantly that her wrist was doing fine and she could move it properly and might punch four other people, he refused to budge and only sighed in relief when the doctor assured him that his wife was fine and there was no need to get worried.
Nobody has ever fractured their wrist by punching someone, she tried telling her husband who challenged her basic knowledge.
X-rays were done and there was nothing to be scared of. Her wrist was fine, her fingers were more than okay and Umeed winked at Farjaad telling him, "Don't worry, I'll be able to use my hand to its full capacity." However, Farjaad didn't appreciate the humor and only glared back- the only glare that cowered Umeed sometimes.
Sitting on the bed cross-legged Umeed waited for her husband to return from the kitchen. He admonished her from eating the dinner by herself despite her protests that her hand was working properly and even the doctor advised her to not take it too seriously but Umeed came to the conclusion that Farjaad's logic seemed to lock itself when it came to her.
Lying on his side of the bed, he gently held her by her arm and pulled her towards his side. Since both weren't in the mood to sleep yet, he still had his back against the bed and Umeed adjusted herself in between his legs, her back aligned with his torso.
She let out a "tsk" when he held her wrist again and pressed it to his lips.
"Tumhe kya zaroorat hai aese h sbse ladne jhagdne ki?"
"Isay self defence kehte hain"
"Isay bewakoofi kehtay hain Umeed. Be realistic yaar. Kuch ho jata tou?"
"Huwa toh nahi naa!" Umeed pushed her head back resting it on his shoulder blade, looking at him with an expression she knew worked on him like a charm.
"Mazak nahi hai ye. Btaya hai mujhe sab haya ne. Kese tum apne cousin se ldd padti th. Aur woh mohallay ke bachon saath pangay."
"Aik tou ye Haya ki bachi. Shadi ke baad se mujhe toh inhon ne mujhay apni team se nikal dia hai."
"Awwal toh kal se tumharay saath gaurd jaega," Umeed noticed he ignored her earlier rant and went on to lecture her more but before she could interrupt, he cut her off raising his brows, "but please Umeed, mujhe fiqr rehti hai tumhari. You're already so clumdy hrr waqt mujhe darr hota hai kahin kuch kra na liya ho tumne. Ab agr aese logon se ladti jhagadti raho gi, anjaan logon pr chadhai kr do gi toh mera kya hoga? Please, thoda khayal rakha kro."
"Aap chahtay hain mein kisi ko agay se kuch na boloon agla banda chahay mujhe chedh h kyun na raha ho."
"Nahi meri jaan," Stressing on the jaan he secured his grip on her hand placing a kiss on her exposed neck and continued with a resigned sigh, "I just want you to be cautious. I don't you to put yourself in life-threatening situation. Umeed-" He continued after a pause,
"I want you to trust me enough to take care of you. I know tum bohat bahadur ho, lekin mujhe meri jungliee billi ki dehshat srf apne liye chahiye. Tumhe andaza hai naa woh larka kuch bh kr skta tha? Koi hatyaar hota uske paas toh? Ya baad mein khuda na khawasta kuch hogya tou?"
"Acha naa, bass krein ab. Aa gai hai samajh"
She felt him take another deep sigh, his torso heaved under her but instead, he took her face in his hands and Umeed noticed his expressions, similar to the day in the hospital when she supposedly fainted. He traced her eyebrow. Umeed noticed the way his eyes traveled all over her face, absorbing every feature. He gulped looking at her hand which was now covered with a hand warmer.
"Tum meray liye bohat khaas ho, bohat ahem. Umeed tum meri zimmedari ho, agr tumhe aik kharosh bh ati hai tou mein khud ko maaf nhi kr paon ga. Tumhe shayad andaza bh nhi naa jab Waleed ki mujhe call ai mein kitna ghabra gya tha. Kuch samajh nhi aa rha tha. I could only think of the worse."
Instead of saying something, Umeed placed a peck on each of his eyes followed by one on his cheek with a silent promise of never putting him through such anguish again. She slept in his arms, pressed against his chest, feeling him murmuring something maybe a prayer and she smiled.
Magic Dust.
She even heard him say I love you but couldn't register if that happened or if it was a fragment of her imagination. Nonetheless, it didn't matter. After years Umeed finally found her warmth. She found an embrace that reeked of assurance, that didn't make her feel cold at night. She knew she didn't have to hide her pain anymore. She knew her life was a beautiful fairytale.
Note: Hey everybody, long time no see! Hope this wasn't as bad as i had expected. I am scared i didn't get Umeed right so apologies for tampering with the characters. I created the whole Magic Dust thing after writing half of the story because i couldn't find a suitable title for the oneshot and then this word came up and basically I inserted it forcefully. ANYWAYS, Happy New Year to you all. May this year bring health, happiness, abundance, and prosperity to us. May this year be the year of experiencing all our duas and prayers. Ameen.