2000
The grin on her face is something which tells him she got something she wanted. But then he knows his best friend and she always gets what she wants.
"Ano yan, Leedja?" he asks as he deposits the chicken bucket he bought on their table. "You look like you won the lottery."
She rolls her eyes at him but grabs a chicken anyway. "Eh diba nga your prom is next week?"
"Hmm."
"Guess what," she says and turns towards him excitedly.
"What?" he replies with faux boredom that has her pushing him.
"Umayos ka!"
"Fine! Ano nga?"
"You know Kevin?"
It is his turn to roll his eyes. "Your crush na puro lang naman bola ang alam?"
"Hay nako! You're so judgemental. But anyway, he asked me to your prom so I'm going to see you there!"
While they went to the same grade school, high school was different. Ian is enrolled in La Salle Green Hills while Lea is sequestered in Assumption. That doesn't mean they have been far too removed from each other's lives. In fact, their lives are so intertwined that Lea is now invited to Ian's prom with her newest crush as date, while he is going with one of her acquaintances that he found pretty.
Tito Javier probably wouldn't have allowed Lea to go but then Mama Yans told him and Mama Bel that Ian will be there anyway which worked. As it always has for the both of them because apparently, where one goes, the other follows.
That's how they find themselves on a double date. Lea got picked up by Kevin who got the rightful disapproving side eye from Tito Javier while Ian drove to the venue with Carla. They met up there and huddled in one table, which proved beneficial for both Ian and Lea for whom it only took 30 minutes to decide that they are both bored out of their minds.
"Look at that guy over there. He looks like he's going to a carnival," Ian whispers as he leans over to Lea which has her pinching him.
"Your mouth!"
"It's true! Tingnan mo yung ruffles nung polo niya, parang clown."
"Gago ka talaga."
"Bakit? 'Di mo ba naisip yan?"
Lea, of course, refuses to answer because obviously, saying what she thinks is different than just thinking it. It doesn't take long before Ian's date asks him to dance. He sends a pleading look towards Lea as if asking her to intervene but all she does is grin and raise a glass while watching the boy get pulled into the dancefloor. Kevin, tries to talk to her and she tries soooo hard to keep up with the conversation but Ian was right, all he knew was ball and ball and ball, and all he wanted to talk about is ball. He even invited her to his tournament the following week but the thought of actually going makes her want to shoot herself so she comes up with a palusot, the palusot being Ian and her family heading to Tagaytay. That shuts Kevin up while she... well she continues to watch Ian get his toes stepped on repeatedly.
By the time the song was over, he was practically limping his way back to the table.
"Lei! Ian is a good dancer!" Carla exclaims happily which has Lea scoffing.
He's not. He's really not. She thinks to herself. Kevin gets pulled away by some of his team mates while Clara went to get some drinks and found some girls she knows which leaves the two by themselves.
She hears him wince which she takes as an opportunity to tease him. "Galing mo daw sumayaw. How's your toes?" she whispers and snickers at his expense.
"'Wag kang tumawa. Masakit kaya."
"Schadenfreude."
He mocks her by repeating the word mockingly and she hits him.
"Uy! Nakakailan ka na ha!" he exclaims quietly and grabs her hand.
"You kasi!"
"You started it ha!"
"Whatever," she grumbles and pulls her hand back from him. "Why don't you take your date for another dance."
"And then what? 'Di na ako makakalakad bukas? Eh ikaw? Ba't di ka sumayaw with your date?"
She winces then which has him grinning.
"'Di ba crush mo yan?"
Seh sighs in irritation. "Not anymore."
"Why?" he asks, the grin on his face turns into gloating.
"Changed my mind. 'Di ko na siya crush."
"Bakit nga?"
"Cute lang but kinda stupid."
"I knew it!" he declares with an expression saying I told you so.
"Oo na nga! What about you? Other than the sore toes, how's your date?"
And it has Ian's grin dropping. "I know she's your friend–"
"She's not ha! I just know her from school."
"Fine. She's. But she's sooooo boring. I don't even know what she talks about."
"Sabihin mo, you're not listening!"
"I am! But I keep on dozing off."
They snicker quietly when what he believes is a brilliant idea strikes Ian's mind.
"Tara!" he says and pulls her hand as he stands.
With a scrunched forehead, she asks, "where?"
A shit-eating grin spreads across his face. "Takas tayo."
He doesn't give her a moment to rationalize as he pulls at her and runs.
"Ian, gago, naka heels ako!" she exclaims but bursts into a fit of laughter as they run towards the parking lot.
He finds his car immediately and pushes her in before climbing behind the driver's seat and stepping on the pedal.
"Gago ka talaga," she tells him between laughter as he navigates the way out of the school compound.
"Pareho lang tayo," he quips back.
And she doesn't argue back. They'd both have to be some level of gago to abandon their dates, after all.
He drives them to Mcdo and tells her to stay in the car while he buys their provisions. She laughs loudly when she sees him carrying a gazillion things back to the car.
"Ian, dalawa lang tayo here ba't parang pang isang barangay yang food that you bought," she tells him while taking out the food from their plastic wrappings as they settle on the truck bed of his car.
"Mabuti na 'yan. Ang hirap mo kasi pag gutom."
"Whatever," she grumbles and pops a fry into her mouth. "How will they react kaya when they realize we've left."
Ian shrugs. "Who cares," he says and takes a bite from his burger. "Besides, pangit kaya ng food."
She rolls her eyes at him. "'Di kaya! The lasagna was okay."
He winces and stares at her in judgement. "Huy, mama mo pinakamagaling magluto sa entire Makati and you find that mediocre slab of soggy pasta good?!"
She scoffs. "You're overreacting! Okay naman yun ah. And the chicken was okay too."
"The chicken was overcooked! Sumbong kita kay Mama Bel para mag spend ka nanaman ng entire summer sa kusina."
"Don't you dare!"
He knows Lea hates the kitchen. Or at least the structured cooking that comes with it. She's good with eating a good Paella but will never learn how to make one. She just outright refuses.
He turns to face her with a grin. "What will you do for me if I don't tell."
Here we go again, she thinks and barely keeps herself from kicking Ian. "Fine. What do you want?"
His grin goes bigger. "You're helping me with Geometry."
And she groans. "Magluluto nalang ako."
"Hala siya!" he exclaims and she stares at him dead in the eyes.
"Ian, you are hopeless with Geometry."
"I know! Tell that to La Salle. They should cut me some slack. It's not like I want to study it."
She scoffs then. "Well, what do you want to study?"
He takes another bite from his burger before saying, "cooking. I'd like to cook really well so that everything people eat, including you and your picky eating tendencies, would associate a dish with me."
She smiles softly then and squeezes his hand. "That will happen." And she really believes it will.
The moment is broken when the radio shifts and the Beach Boys's Wouldn't It Be Nice starts playing.
"Our song oh," she murmurs with no particular reason. They've come to like it recently. They even bought a cassette for it.
"Come on," Ian says as he hops off the truck.
"What?" Lea asks confusedly as he helps her down.
"You didn't get to dance tonight. So sayaw tayo."
She bursts into giggles. "Dito talaga sa parking lot?"
He smiles back at her. "Wala namang tao."
And so she lets herself be pulled into a silly dance with this silly boy and that silly song.
But oh... wouldn't it be nice indeed to live together in the kind of world where they belong?
...
2003
Ian has been pacing and mumbling for the past thirty minutes. He called her house repeatedly, but she hasn't shown up. The maids in her house are likely annoyed with him, but he doesn't care. He needs Lea now more than ever after making a crucial decision.
Checking the time once again, he mutters, "Where the hell is she?" Classes ended four hours ago, and she should be home by now or, better yet, by his side, scolding him for his impulsive actions.
Lea, already in shorts and a shirt, walks in on Ian pacing back and forth in the living room. She senses something is amiss when she arrives, given that her yaya directed her straight to the Vallejos' house. Ignoring the annoyance in his voice, she greets, "Hey! I'm here!"
"You're late," he mumbles without looking at her.
Lea rolls her eyes, a gesture Ian doesn't see but certainly feels. "Sorry na. I had a group project and some papers to submit. Besides, I want to ask you the same thing. Where were you? You didn't show up for the last class."
Still pacing, Ian responds, "I had to do something."
"Like what? We had a quiz! Lagot ka nanaman kay-"
He looks up, interrupting her. "Well, I don't -" but his words stall as he notices what Lea is eating. "What the hell are you eating?"
Lea, oblivious, takes out the candy from her mouth. "Uh... a candy?"
"Candy? Wala ka bang lollipop sa bahay at kailangan ring pop pa yang kainin mo? What are you, 7?"
Another eye roll from Lea. "You know naman this is my favorite! Anyway, please don't change the topic. What is wrong with you?" She places the candy back into her mouth.
Ian sighs. "I did something."
"What nga? Did you fail again?"
"I think Dad is going to kill me when he finds out."
The fear in his voice catches Lea's attention. "Okay. Do I need to book a plane ticket somewhere far? Are the police after you?" He shakes his head. "Do we need to hide a body?"
Thick as thieves.
"Well, you have to clean up if Dad really kills me."
"Ako ang papatay sayo pag hindi mo pa sinabi, Christian Lucas!"
He looks at her straight in the eyes. "I dropped out."
Her eyes widen. "What subject?"
"Um. The whole course?"
Her jaw drops. Lea knew of his plans to change his course, but he usually gives her a heads-up. This bombshell is unexpected. He said he would finish the year, but clearly, he changed his mind. What an idiot.
"Are you out of your mind? Is that why I didn't see you after lunch? You went to the registrar's office? Why so sudden?"
Ian is about to explain when he hears the familiar footsteps of leather shoes.
"Christian Lucas Vallejo!"
Eduardo Vallejo's voice booms around the living room, making Lea stand a bit behind Ian. She watches as Mariana holds onto Eduardo's arm, ready to mediate if a confrontation arises between father and son. Lea, in turn, does the same, gripping his shirt and arm, ready to pull him back if the older Vallejo unleashes his anger.
"Dad..."
"I just landed an hour ago, and what welcome awaits me? My son dropping out of architecture. When were you planning to tell me? Kapag wala ka nang plano sa buhay mo?"
"I will tell you naman, Dad."
"Baka nakakalimutan mo na kaklase ko noong high school yung faculty-in-charge mo? He immediately called me and told me about this stupid decision! Bakit hindi ka gumaya dito kay Lea?!"
Lea tightens her grip on Ian. They've never been compared before, but Eduardo's anger at that moment is over the moon. She wants to apologize to Ian because he doesn't deserve that comment. Good thing Mama Yans arrive not too long after.
"Ed, calm down!"
"Calm down? How can I calm down when our only son, the one who will run our business, decided to let go of his future?! Sino na ang magpapatakbo ng firm ngayon when I die?"
"Dad, you know that I'm not interested in architecture. I want to be a chef. I already applied at the Center for Culinary Arts for next semester." He applied without informing anyone, not even Lea, maybe because he wanted to prove not just to his parents but also to himself that he can fulfill his dreams on his own.
"A chef?"
"Ed, please. Maybe it's time that we give our son a chance to do what he wants. Please?" Mariana interrupts. From the very beginning, she knew what Ian wanted, but her husband has dreams of his own for their unico hijo.
Eduardo gives his mag-ina one more stare before marking his words. "One semester, Ian. If you don't pass with flying colors at the end of the semester, forget that you're a Vallejo."
Ian and Lea watch as Ed walks out on them, Mariana trailing behind but giving her son a smile, small but assuring, as if telling him that everything will turn out well.
Ian feels his knees wobble and holds onto the couch. He finally lets go of the breath that he held. His father can get angry, but this was the first time that he felt his anger through his veins.
"That went well?"
Ian sighs and looks at her. "I guess?"
"Well, he didn't kill you."
"He didn't, but there's a big chance that I'll lose my last name."
She chuckles, "You better study hard then. Or... you can be a Santiago since you want to be a chef like Mama."
He sighs once more. "But thanks for being here, Leedja. I think you're the main reason that I'm still alive today."
"Loko! Kay Mama Yans ka magpasalamat. She was the one that convinced Tito Ed."
He gives a small smile. Now that he got that out of his chest, he feels much better... much much better as he steps forward to forge a name of his own.
...
2005
The vibrant sea of sunflowers directs everyone towards The University of the Philippines Amphitheater. The entire venue buzzes with the excitement of graduates, proud parents, and enthusiastic family members. A kaleidoscope of white Filipinianas and Barong Tagalogs set against the maroons and yellow golds of sablays creates a picturesque scene, marking a momentous occasion for all. The air is filled with joy and achievement as everyone celebrates the closing of a significant chapter in their lives.
Among the graduates is Lea, standing in line with her parents, anticipating the moment she ascends the stage to hear her name called and receive her diploma. As she scans the vast sea of faces, she secretly hopes to catch a glimpse of a familiar figure. He assured her that he'd be there, but she also insisted he shouldn't come due to a crucial practical exam for his French cuisine course. Lea managed to convince him that they'd reunite at her graduation party, knowing well that failure in a culinary subject is not an option for him.
Yet, in her heart, there lingers a faint hope that he might defy expectations and be present. Since the age of six, they've shared every significant milestone, making the absence of his familiar face at her graduation a bittersweet note in the symphony of her achievement.
"Santiago, Lydia Encarnacion Alejandra. Bachelor of Science in Architecture." The emcee announces, and Lea gracefully ascends the stage with a radiant smile, her parents trailing behind. With pride in their eyes, they watch as Lea receives her well-deserved recognition: Magna Cum Laude and Best Thesis Awardee. The emcee's words are met with a round of applause, and the proud parents are handed two medals, which they lovingly place around Lea's neck in turns.
"We're so proud of you, Lea," Isabella expresses with genuine joy.
"Thank you, Ma."
"And it's not just us who are proud. Mariana and Eduardo are thrilled to have you in the firm."
Lea giggles at the shared excitement. The official photographer requests them to pose as a family, and as they do, a loud voice echoes from a distance.
"Congratulations, Leedja!!!! Wooooohhh!!! Best friend ko yan!!!"
Even from approximately 100 meters away, she spots him. Still in his school uniform, it's clear he rushed from school to make it in time. Embarrassment washes over her as she contemplates hiding, but the happiness of seeing him fulfill another promise takes precedence. Always present in her life, he beams with pride, and in that moment, she decides to let go of the embarrassment and bask in the joy of his presence.
The air at Casa Isabella buzzes with celebration after the momentous event. Javier and Isabella have opened their doors to family and friends, all sharing the immense pride in their youngest daughter's achievement. The Vallejos are in attendance, with the exception of Lorna, who's currently pursuing her master's degree in London. In just two days, the family plans to join her for a European tour, an additional gift to commemorate Lea's graduation.
Ian, assuming the role of an honorary host, busies himself in the kitchen, determined to prepare Lea's favorite dishes and showcase his culinary school learnings as requested by Mama Bel. Meanwhile, Lea effortlessly entertains the guests, many of whom are already familiar with Ian from his time studying architecture before transitioning to culinary school. There's no set program for the evening—just a gathering to celebrate Lea's success.
Emerging from the kitchen with an array of appetizers, Ian takes it upon himself to personally serve each table, encouraging everyone to taste and share their thoughts. Once the plates are out, he grabs a bottle of beer and joins Lea and their friends on the back patio. The night comes alive with the sounds spun by a hired DJ.
Sliding into the chair beside Lea, Ian is welcomed as if the spot were specifically reserved for him. "Wuhooo! Cheers to the new graduate!" he exclaims, lifting his bottle as the rest follow suit, sharing in the celebratory sip.
"So, Ian, what's the plan now? We graduated ahead of you," a friend playfully teases.
Ian chuckles. "It's fine and I'm very happy for you guys. Kahit siguro tinuloy ko yung arki, hindi naman ata ako gagraduate on time." Laughter ripples through the group, well aware of his past struggles with the subject. "I'm content with where I am now."
"Lucky Lea, having her own personal chef!" someone chimes in.
Ian scoffs. ""Ito? Eh ang alam lang naman kainin nito, chicken nuggets and bacon eh. My culinary skills are wasted on her."
"No way! I eat other things," Lea protests. "I love your soufflés and aglio olio!"
"Only because you're so picky."
"But seriously, you guys! Your parents hit the jackpot. Lea takes over the Vallejo firm, and Ian takes over Casa Isabella! Perfect match!" Carmen suggests.
"Dapat ata magpakasal na lang kayo!" another friend jokes which made everyone chime in.
Ian and Lea exchange glances, bursting into laughter. Them? Together? Getting married? No. Way.
...
"What's wrong, Lea?" comes the question of another fellow as she sees Lea wince while trying the pasta they ordered. "Is there something wrong with the aglio olio?"
Lea forces a smile and shakes her head. "No! It's all good," she tries to convince her and proceeds to take on the dish which does not satisfy. Actually, the three months she has spent in Boston is just a repetitive routine of people telling her to try this or that food cooked by whoever Gordon Ramsay the second because it is exquisitely good. None of them has satisfied her tongue so far and that's quite impossible if one really thinks about it because it is Lea, she who has the palate of a child.
She forces herself to finish the food, all the while thinking that she hasn't eaten a food she actually likes. At this point, she might not find a food that she'd like at all, not when she keeps on comparing them all to the ones the big baby she left at home cooks for her. It'll be a tall order to emulate his cooking, especially since he has his own signature style. She knows it's irrational to be thinking of this especially since she hasn't spoken to him longer than she flew across countries and yet, she couldn't help it. Every single food she tries that Ian has cooked, she keeps on associating with him. It's a bummer because it means she couldn't enjoy Boston in its entirety.
She wants to kick herself at the shin for even thinking about Ian. Sure, she talks to Mason through Facetime almost every night. But Ian? They are not at all bati yet. Part of it might be her fault for ignoring him but she's got a pride bigger than any fried chicken and so here she is, forging through the next day– miserable and lonely without someone to pester and to bother her. She must admit that she got used to it, to his presence. It's been more than 30 years of him being a constant after all, and this might be the longest that they've been apart, and definitely the longest they haven't talked.
She finds it all silly by now, how she got too angry at him for being the asshole that he is when she knows full well what and who he is, and what he usually does and is usually his number one advocate. She cannot even remember why she got so mad at him, although she thinks it might have something to do with her wounded pride.
Funny where that got her.
All alone (not really, her Ate Lorna is with her) in wintery Massachusetts which she's sure both he and Mason would've loved. Ian has always loved the snow, saying that it doesn't feel real but when the cold touches his cheeks and turns them red, it makes him feel like he's beyond this world. He's weird like that but one look at the falling snow through the glass windows reminds him that even if he is weird... he is her weirdo.
At least he used to be.
Now, she isn't so sure.
Especially since she isn't brave enough to actually pick up the phone and call him after leaving without saying much of a goodbye.
She smiles sadly at the thought. It was always going to be the two of them against the world but the first signs of trouble has her abandoning ship. That makes her feel shameful, especially since what Ian did does not even measure to the worst thing he has done in the past and he has done a lot lot worse.
They finish the food and leaves the pub for the Graduate School of Design where they will be having another small group discussion with the other fellows about the merits of eco-architecture. Harvard is huge and as diverse as diversity can possibly be when it comes to academic programs. It's practically a community in itself with its various schools and colleges dedicated to different areas of studies. That also means a lot of walking because while the buildings are kind of spread out, they also aren't that far enough from each other to merit a car ride.
They have just gotten out of the building when her eyes caught something... or someone walking towards the Tanner Fountain, someone so fair and tall, with tousled hair and a gait which screams so much of the man she has been thinking a lot lately. She doesn't know what happened. Her brain probably got frozen by the cold but when she blinked and the view did not change and the man was still walking towards the fountain, the treacherous hope bloomed in her chest that perhaps he actually is here. Without second thoughts, she set off, practically running after the man.
"Ian?" she called out while briskly taking large strides to try and reach the man. "Ian!" she calls loudly but receives no response. "Screw it."
She runs.
After the man.
Not knowing who it is.
Only hoping that it is her best friend.
Then she reaches him and she pulls at his shoulder.
He turns and she gasps.
It takes her a second or two to realize what she's done.
"Yes, Miss?" the man with an unmistakable British accent asks.
Her cheeks burn although she's thinking she could blame the cold for that but embarrassment spreads throughout her body. "I'm sorry, I thought you were someone else," she says apologetically.
The man smiles kindly at her and says, "no worries," before continuing on his way to the Cabot Science Library.
"Lei!" She hears someone call for her and realizes that she forgot she was with someone.
"Oh my god, Liz! I'm sorry, I thought I saw someone I knew."
The woman–Liz catches her breath for a moment before standing erect. "You scared me for a moment there."
Lea grins sheepishly. "Sorry again. Come on, let's go."
Still slightly embarrassed but certainly more settled now, she and Liz make their way through Cambridge St. again. Her now friend begins to tell her about the new big ticket Emirati project another fellow is working on when she suddenly sees a little boy, about four or five, trip on the ground while running. It must be maternal instinct that prompted her to proceed to the boy who started crying.
"Hey, are you okay?" she asks, architecture forgotten now and replaced by the sudden surge of worry over the little guy whose face has turned tomato red. She kneels down on the ground to check on the little one.
"My hands hurt," he cries and Lea checks it only to see some angry red scrapes.
"Oh, no. You scraped your hand."
He cries harder.
"No no, hush now, don't cry," she tells him softly. "I know what to do."
The boy stops crying for a moment and looks at her. "You do?"
Lea smiles at him, a vision of assurance to a little boy scared, and she pulls out a tiny pouch from her coat's pockets. "You know, little kids can get hurt all the time which is why you gotta be careful, especially since the snow is slippery."
"I'm not little! I'm six!" he insists while lifting six fingers to show her his age.
This makes her chuckle. "Alright, Mr Six, let's fix you up," she says and unzips the pouch which reveals several packets of graphic bandaids.
"Which one do you want?" she asks while showing him the packets and he points at superman. "Nice pick," she mumbles and begins to patch up the tiny wounds. "There! No more hurt, is there?" she asks as she finishes placing the bandaid and certainly, the little boy's sniffles are replaced by a triumphant grin.
"I have a superman bandaid."
"You do."
"It doesn't hurt anymore! And I'm not scared of it anymore too!"
She smiles softly. "I guess that's what happens to brave boys, they defeat their fears."
Brave people defeat their fears. Is that it? Is that what's happening? Does she fear? Is that why she couldn't call Ian because she's afraid he might not pick up after she abandoned him?
"I'm okay now, thank you!"
"Mason! Oh my god, there you are! I told you not to run!" calls an approaching figure whose face was morphed with worry. "Are you okay?" she asks the little boy.
The name surprises Lea but she tries to keep it down.
The little one nods. "I'm okay. This pretty lady helped me!" he says and points at Lea.
"Hi, I'm Lea. He tripped and got some scrapes on his palms but he's okay." she tells the worried woman whom she assumes is his mother.
The woman heaves a sigh of relief. "Oh thank god. I'm Mae and I'm so sorry for the inconvenience. He's in a phase where he keeps on running away every chance he gets."
Lea chuckles and shakes her head in amusement. "That's okay. My little guy is like that too."
May and the little one thanks her again profusely before they make their way to their car, leaving behind Lea and Liz by the footpath.
"You're good with kids," Liz says. "Do you have a kid?"
Lea nods and smiles at her. "He's four and his name is also Mason."
And she misses him a lot.
But she also misses his dad.
...
Lorna has been living in Boston for the past ten years, and during those years, she has always looked forward to Sundays. It has been her reset day, a day where she can run errands, stroll in the park, grab a book unrelated to work, meet up with friends, or simply stay at home. However, for the past three months that her sister has been staying with her, Sundays have felt a bit different.
When she found out that Lea pursued the Harvard offer, she was excited. Despite knowing the main reason Lea left Manila, Lorna was hoping to spend quality time with her sister. She envisioned taking her to favorite brunch spots, exploring tourist places, driving around, or just helping Lea take her mind off things. However, none of those visions have come to life.
Despite the significant age gap, worry lingers as a big sister. Since Lea arrived, she's either immersed in Harvard classes or staring into space, as if counting invisible spots. Lorna noticed Lea's lack of appetite, taking only a few bites of what she prepared. Most of the time, Lea would retreat to her room, staring at the ceiling until she falls asleep.
One Sunday morning, Lorna decided to talk to her sister. It has become too much, and she couldn't bear seeing Lea like this any longer.
"Lei, want to eat breakfast at the Tavern?" She opens up on a fine morning. Lea is sitting on the couch, absentmindedly clicking the remote through channels.
"It's okay, Ate. I'm fine with cereals."
"Cereals again? C'mon Lei, I have nothing to do today, and I haven't shown you around since you got here."
Lea sighs. "It's fine, Ate. We don't need to go out. Besides, it's freezing. I'm too lazy to get layered up."
Lorna sighs, sitting on the couch beside her, contemplating how to cheer her up.
Lea snips. "Stop staring."
"Sorry. I'm just worried about you."
"I'm fine."
"Of course you are not fine," Lorna counters which prompts Lea's frown. That doesn't deter her as she continues. "You can always call him, you know."
If only her big sister knew how many times she attempted to dial his number, yearning to hear his voice, even the sound of his breath she misses.
"Lei, I know that the main reason you are here is to give yourselves some space, but for the past three months, that space that you gave yourselves to think is making me worry. Even Ma and Dad are worried." Lea looked at her, thinking she spilled the beans, "don't worry, I didn't tell them, but I'm sure they can hear it in your voice whenever they call."
"I just miss Mason... that's all."
"Mason? Or Tatay ni Mason?" Lea frowns some more. "Lydia Encarnacion Alejandra, you are just as stubborn as ever." Lea rolls her eyes at the sound of her full name. "Listen to me..." Lea gives her a glance, and Lorna switches the TV off. "To be honest with you, I was not the biggest fan of Ian when we were young. He's so kulit, follows you around like a little puppy, gets you into trouble, and most of all, he is always the chubby boy that eats all our food in the ref." Lea couldn't help but giggle at the last statement. "But as you both grew older, he was always the one that made you smile. He was always the person that was there for you when I couldn't, and most of all, he brings out the best in you, Lea."
Lea discreetly bit her lip. She didn't expect to hear those words from her sister. In an attempt to dissuade whatever Ian advocating her sister is planning, she jokes, "Are you jealous of Ian?"
Lorna chuckles. "Slightly." She admitted. "But maybe because you have this relationship that I wish I had with you when we were growing up. But now that you are of age, I couldn't think of another person to entrust you with other than Ian."
Lea sighs. "I'm scared, Ate."
"Scared of what?"
"We've been best friends for decades. I probably overreacted and then left without saying anything. It's like I abandoned him. What if he doesn't want to talk to me ever again?"
Lorna gave a small smile. "You won't find out unless you two talk and work it out together. You don't have to go through it alone, Lea. Besides, you know each other like the back of your hand; I'm sure you'll figure it out."
Lea sighs. "I'm not yet ready."
Lorna nodded. She didn't want to push her sister when it comes to her feelings but at least she already told her what needed to be said.
"Okay, you can take your time, but not too long. Guys can get impatient too!"
Lea gave a small smile, "Can't believe my big sister is turning into an advice guru."
Lorna chuckles. "Bakit, ikaw lang ba ang pwede maging relationship adviser?"
Lea squints at her, intrigued at what she just said. "Are you saying that you have a boyfriend?"
Lorna scoffs. "Well, I can tell you if you join me for breakfast at the Tavern."
Lea playfully smiles. "Give me 20 minutes," hurriedly stood up to get bundled up.
Lorna giggles and follows suit, feeling content with the conversation she just had with her sister.
...
"In creating sustainable green cities of the future, it is important to forge stable relationships with those in the grassroots because ultimately, the city will be lived in by them. They are our most important stakeholders," discusses one of the Hauser Leaders from the Center for Public Leadership whom they invited for the very purpose of intersectional discussions.
Lea knows that this matters a lot of course but she's human and she's fallible and she knows that it's difficult to grasp something of drastic importance when one's mind is somewhere else.
It's halfway through December. Winter recess is nearing. She's got no plans of flying home since the idea of braving the December rush in the Philippines does not appeal to her at all but also maybe because she's apprehensive about the possibility of Ian looking at her like she's a wall.
This has gone on for far too long but is she doing something about it? Of course not.
Her ate is right. She could always try to call him. In fact, she has tried but every time she is about to hit his name on the screen, she freezes. What am I going to say to him? She keeps on asking herself and then resorts into a spiral of urong-sulong that never seems to end.
Now, she's cold and lonely, away from her baby, and miserable because her baby's dada is not talking to her (A/N: is he really not talking to you though?)
What a bind she's found herself in. Very first world problem naman, Lea, she scolds herself.
It barely registers in her brain. She isn't even sure she knows what the discussion is about at this point, what with drifting on and off from the idea of getting over her hesitation to call her best friend and just patch things up. Three months is tooooo long. She doesn't know how she lasted that long.
Also, she keeps on seeing him in everything she does and everywhere she goes.
Associating food with him makes sense. To a point, it remains logical because he is a chef and a pretty damn good one. But judging Mcdo's chicken nuggets and comparing them to the ones he makes is weird. Thinking of how bad coffee is now because it doesn't taste the same way as when he prepares it is insane. But it doesn't even stop there.
Last week, she went to the grocery store and when she got to the meat section, she saw ribeye. She prefers sirloin but she bought ribeye. For gods sake, she doesn't know how to cook ribeye but her mind went: Ian loves ribeye.
The other day she was walking home and she thought she smelled cedar and pine– the smell of his perfume. And it's weird how she smelled that when she was walking along the aisle dedicated to international cuisine. There is no rhyme nor reason for her to think of him at all.
Yesterday, while she was folding her own laundry, she suddenly realized that she's not doing it the way she used to. She used to fold the vertical portions to the center along with the sleeves before folding the shirt in half. Now, she folds it by the seam and ends up with a much smaller shirt than she usually would. This is the way he folds his shirts because he insists it saves space.
Last night, while she and some friends were at a pub, she swears she heard someone call him. And then for some reason she doesn't understand, the band sang Everybody Wants to Rule the World– his go to karaoke song.
He is everywhere.
And she is not getting amused with herself.
"Ensuring that you have a reliable partner is very important in securing your goal."
She doesn't hear the rest of it but two words imprinted on her mind: Reliable partner.
Success is only possible if one has a reliable partner, one who is willing to pick up the slack when the other is barely making it through the day, one who would without question take one for the team, one who would go through hell and high waters for the other, one someone is part and parcel with. With the right reliable partner, anything is possible and the world is simply oyster.
It has her chuckling, half in irritation, and half in realization.
She realizes that she has a reliable partner and he is back in the Philippines but the more ironic thing is, he keeps on making his way into her life without even trying. And that's something else.
...
He gets woken up by the sound of sniffles and slight tugging at his arm. He groans as his eyes acquaint him with his surroundings, and then he realizes that he is not dreaming and the whimpers he is hearing are coming from his son. He jolts out of the bed and pulls the little boy in his arms.
"What's wrong, bud?" he asks worriedly, trying to scan Mason's face for whatever hint he could get that would give him an idea about what's wrong.
Mason immediately buries his face against the crook of Ian's neck that immediately gets wet from the boy's tears. "Dada, I had a bad dream."
"Shush, bud. Dada is here," he tells him softly, tries to assure him that the dream is not real but he is and he is here. All semblance of drowsiness is now gone. When Mason settles a bid, he brings him to the center of the bed and tries to get him to talk. "Want to tell Dada about your dream? They say they won't come true if you tell people."
Mason's eyes grow wide. "Really?"
Ian nods and gives him a reassuring smile.
"There was a monstew. Dada, the monstew was gonna take Tamy away!" he exclaims and begins to sniffle again.
Sighing, Ian pulls him into a tight embrace and whispers, "It will be okay, Mace. Nobody is taking Tamy away."
The boy drifts into a less eventful slumber but sleep eludes Ian. He lies awake thinking and thinking of how messy things are at the moment.
It has been more or less three months since Lea left without warning. Every day, he's waiting for her to call. He wants to call her badly, like really badly and to not call is taking every ounce of his self-control.
The day he realized he loves her more than a friend is the day he recognized just how much of a permanent fixture she is in his life. His own identity was forged side by side with hers, with their shared experiences and troubles. He's always loved her and she knows but it's a different kind of love. The love he knows he feels for her now is deeper, stronger, and has taken roots in his very core.
Oh how he wants to fly after her. But he knows that he must have done something really upsetting to send her bolting and it is taking his everything to sustain himself through the longing. He loves her, all of her, every single wiles and tendencies. He loves the whole of her and loving her means respecting her and her decisions. And if she needs to get away, needs a breather, then he'll wait.
He's waited more than thirty years to feel something like he feels now, a love all encompassing that makes him want to be a better person. When the time comes that she beckons him home, he will rush as the winds rush through the thistle of the pines in a forest so lush, singing and swaying. Maybe then he'll get to tell her that he loves her in a way he never imagined would ever be possible and maybe then he could hope that she will deem him worthy of the chance to love her openly for the whole world to see. He's waited more than thirty years. A few more months is nothing in comparison.
...
What is Christmas if not the most wonderful time of the year?
It is supposed to be. Nobody should be so disillusioned by life to give up on jolly St. Nick.
Maybe Ian.
Ian, the miserable one as his mother has dubbed him jokingly. But it couldn't be a joke when it perfectly describes him, could it? Because it's true. He is miserable.
All the Christmases he could remember have Lea in them. Every single one. Tonight, there is only him, his parents, Mason, and the two older Santiagos. It does not feel like the most wonderful time of the year.
He lets Mason run around, satisfied enough with the knowledge that he is having a grand time, especially after seeing just how many presents there are under Mamu and Papu's tree, most of them bearing his name. He's slowly learning to read, but he knows his name and the letters that make it, so the little one is certain that he is loved by everyone. And it's true. He is. He really is.
Ian delegates the merry making to him because he... well, he will be sulking the entire night.
And he has good reason to be.
For one, Lea hasn't sent him a Christmas greeting (A/N: wala pa ngang alas dose. 'Di pa gabi sa kabilang dulo ng mundo hoy).
"Mamu, I sing!" Mason declares and pulls his mamu to the grand piano displayed at the bottom of the spiral staircase.
Ian watches from his seat, thankful for the amusement the little one brings.
"What does Mason wants to sing?" Mariana asks, eager to humor her little apo's request.
Mason stands on tiptoes and Mariana bends so he could whisper in her ear.
"Okay, Mamu's got it. Are you ready?" Mariana says with an excitable grin.
Mason nods with enthusiasm.
Mariana begins to play and then goes Mason.
"Wouldn't it be nice if we were older?
Then we wouldn't have to wait so long
And wouldn't it be nice to live together
In the kind of world where we belong?"
Ian chokes.
How could his boy know...
He watches and listens intently as Mason entertains the whole family. He watches and his mind drifts to that one night in the early 2000s where he and Lea escaped from his prom and ended up dancing in the parking lot to this song. He remembers how this is their song.
Now Mason is singing it and it reminds him some more of the depth of his love for his best friend, his person has grown.
Mason ends the song with an applause. He then runs towards Ian who remains frozen on the loveseat.
"Dada! Was that good?" the little one asks with a huge grin.
Ian ruffles his hair and smiles widely. "Very good, bud."
"Yay!"
Then Ian clears his throat. "Bud?"
"Yeeeessss?" the little one drawls.
"How do you know that song?"
"Oh!" Mason's face lights up. "Tamy sings it for me before sleep!"
And just when he thinks he couldn't love her some more, he falls even deeper.
Later that night, when Noche Buena is over and everyone is filled, the clock is nearly midnight and it is way past Mason's bed time, the adults decide to settle down, thinking of at least having a nightcap before they all go to sleep. They would but of course, they first need to get Mason to settle in his bed. But Mason begged and begged to be allowed at least one gift before he went to sleep. The grandparents told him that he has to sleep or else Santa won't come. The little boy looked at them with incredulity and said: but I won't open Santa's gift, they haven't arrived yet. I'll open Tamy's!
Ian sighs at the cheek his son could have only gotten from his Tamy. "If you open one gift, do you promise to go to bed and wait for Santa's gifts tomorrow morning?"
Mason nods with a grin.
And they all relent. It's hard to deny that boy anything when he looks at you so expectantly.
Ian felt a tinge of sadness upon getting handed the present from Tamy. He sees her handwriting and wishes... for something. He couldn't put the words into it but something inside of him wishes for something, anything... someone...
"Here's from Tamy," he tells Mason in a quiet voice that has the older ones sharing a look. Mason, oblivious to everything, rejoices and tears open the package. She bought him a book. Patch of Sky by Nic Yulo, it reads. She also got him a pig plushie and Mason is all too overjoyed.
It doesn't take long for him to settle down after that with a slight coaxing of getting at least 2 pages of his new book. Ian hadn't even finished the first page when the little one dozed off, the new pig plushie clutched in his arm tightly.
"Good night, Macy," he whispers and plants a kiss on his temple before turning on the night light that doubled as a music box, and leaves the door ajar before leaving the room while the soft melody of You are my Sunshine is playing.
He finds the older ones in the den, sharing a bottle of red wine. He tries to escape them by going straight to the kitchen to get started on the dishes. It is something that would distract him. Scrubbing the grease and oil, and the char would keep him busy enough to stop thinking about Lea. But of course, his mother has other plans.
She follows him in the kitchen.
"Hey, ma," he acknowledges her presence as he rolls up the sleeves of his polo to his elbows. "Go back to the den and enjoy your wine. Ako na dito."
Mariana only smiles at him. "But I have something for you. I'm sure you wouldn't want to miss it."
It is only then that he notices the things she is holding. There are two, a present and an envelope. He puts on an apron before walking towards her.
"These are for you, anak. Merry Christmas."
He embraces his mother and bids her the same. And then she moves to return to the den, but before she could completely disappear behind the arches, she tells him: anak, if you love someone, you hold steadfast and chase if necessary.
He shakes his head and would have chuckled if he hadn't seen her handwriting on the gift card that was most certainly addressed to him. He swallows the lump in his throat. He didn't expect this. Heck, he hadn't even gotten something for her!
But it is real and it is there and she has a Christmas gift for him. Perhaps the merry Christmas is still alive after all.
He carefully tears the wrapper and chuckles when he sees a customized Pop Funko of him wearing his chef uniform. She didn't really say much in the card, just a simple merry christmas, but the gesture itself is not lost to him. This means she doesn't hate him enough to erase him from her life and really, at this point, that is all that he really needs.
With warmth in his chest, he places the Funko back on the kitchen island to open the envelope his mother handed to him. He opens the flap and when he realizes what it contained, he bursts into a fit of laughter.
Maybe it was Mama Bel. Maybe it was Mama Yans. Maybe it was both of them.
It doesn't matter.
What matters now is that he needs to pack.
If he wants to catch the plane for the tickets he is holding then he better pack and pack fast.
Christmas rush? What Christmas rush? His mind is clear now. He knows exactly what his mother was saying earlier. He's flying to Logan International Airport on Christmas Day and nothing will stop him from chasing after and winning back his person after all.
...
She couldn't resist it. She sent him a Christmas present and then felt embarrassed about it, enough to let herself be dragged outside the apartment for a distraction instead of getting swallowed by embarrassment.
One of her friends invited her to a staging of a local theater company. Seeing as she has got nothing better to do, she agreed. It started off well, she enjoyed the show, the characters were portrayed with soul, the songs are nice but then she staggers upon a single line the grandfather of the protagonist said.
It is quite simple, really and there isn't any flamboyance in the way he said it. In fact, it was delivered in such a way that she could see herself listening to the same thing in real life. She could see Mama Yans saying it. It really is something old people would say to someone with an intent ear for listening and it goes this way:
Love is in the little things we take for granted because we think they'd be around to wait for us forever
It's just a sentence and a fictitious, facetious one at that. She shouldn't be affected. Not at all. She's beyond the fourth wall. Why should she feel intensely about that one singular line that did not last longer than three seconds?
Yet, it keeps her at the edge of her seat, thinking about all the things she's loved before and how they'd all come to pass.
She used to love music and had considered taking it professionally at one point but she grew out of it. She doesn't think love should be as fleeting as such.
She used to love videogames and sometimes, she still finds herself playing on the off chance that she has the time. She doesn't think love should be begging for scraps of time. It is something one makes time for.
She used to love riding to the countryside... but realizes she only loves it when Ian drives the way. She doesn't think love should be dependent on the presence of an impetus.
Love should be omnipresent, something that sustains, something that persists, and something that resists. It shouldn't be measured by extrinsic standards.
Take Mason for example. She loves that boy not like her own because he is her own. She cannot begin to quantify or even qualify the reasons why but she knows deep in her heart that she loves him.
And then there is Ian. She loves him too... has loved him much far longer than she's loved Mason because he is her best friend. He is part of who she is, someone whom she grew up and shared secrets with, someone whose identity was forged alongside hers. It's difficult to nitpick special milestones and leave him out because he was there for every single one of them just like she was in his. She loves him because he is a part of her. Time made sure to build him a cocoon in her heart that wherever she goes, even if the circumstances are not right, he will always be there. Which makes her realize some more that she misses him and sees him in everything he does. More than 30 years of being around each other, three of those having lived together under one roof makes her realize just how intertwined their lives are. The world changed, the times raced, yet there has always been a Christian Lucas who is sure to remain as bullheaded, unrestrained, and thrill-seeking as he has ever been. But there is also the Christian Lucas who will drink Vodka with her and cook her nuggets because she's tired of real food, the Christian Lucas who will pull her into spontaneous escapes... The Christian Lucas who is constant in everything.
Unlike the others she has thought of, the last two... those she truly loves and if the grandfather is right that love is in the tiniest most mundane things that are often overlooked because they are such a constant, then she is done being bullheaded too. When she gets out of this theater, she is going to take out her phone and call home before everything is too late and Ian has, as her Ate said, gotten married or something that would equally freak her out.
She will get Ian back in her corner.
Mostly because she misses him a lot and really it's difficult to explain who Leedja is when Ian is not around. She simply finds it difficult.
She bids Liz goodbye and begins her walk back to her Ate's apartment with her phone clutched tightly in her hands. His name and icon are on the screen and her finger hovers over the telephone icon. She is going to call him– that is decided but before she actually does call him, she needs to figure out what to say first.
Hey, how have you been? It's been three months, no?
Merry Christmas, Ian!
Ian, I went overboard.
Ian, I'm not really mad at you.
Ian, I missed you.
It's a lot. She's got a lot to say but she doesn't know how to condense them all into one opening greeting that would be enough to keep the call going in case he has no plans of actually talking to her. She laughs sarcastically then because what if she has finally mustered the willpower to call him and he refuses to answer? What if he's decided he's done dealing with her temper, and as Ate Lorna said, has found someone to settle down with?
That last thought stirs an ugly feeling within her core as her stomach clenches at the thought. Ian married to someone? Someone who will become his person? Who will call him hers? Who will move into the condo with him and Mason?!
MASON!
Ian marrying someone else would mean Lea getting displaced from Mason's life and that makes everything a million times worse.
But at that moment, while she might loathe the idea of Mason gaining another person who will actually have legal precedence over her, her mind fixates over the idea of Ian finding a different confidante, a person who will be closest to his heart, someone whom he will take on spontaneous runaways, and cook for her, and drink with... someone who will be his person.
It makes her nauseous.
That's her. She is his confidante. She is his person. The thought of not being so startles her into the realization that Ian could live a life without her... three months ago, she wanted to reestablish the boundaries that delineate his life from hers... now she isn't sure there has even been a boundary to begin with.
It has always been her and Ian. Against the world if need be.
Their lives have always been so intertwined that they probably know each other better than they know themselves.
What if Ian gets married?
He can't! No, please he can't, she screams mentally as a sudden surge of urgency fills her. Screw it, she murmurs and decides to shoot the shot or lose. She may not know what to say just yet but she will call him and let him know that she is there and she is...
What is she?
No answer.
His phone number is not ringing. His Facetime is down. She tries messaging a simple hello on Viber but it remains unread.
It sends her heart hammering against her chest while her anxiety shoots to the sky as the worst possible scenario begins to cloud her mind.
Is he with someone? The thought makes her rage.
Without much thought, she types an entire litany at a lightning's pace.
Until she hears an impossible thing.
"Tamy!"
She freezes. Tamy? Is the cold making her hallucinate now?
"Tamy! Tamy!" there it goes again, louder and seemingly closer, and more and more resembling Mason's voice.
She shakes her head, unsure what to make of it when something suddenly hits her leg and when she turns to look at it, she gasps.
No way.
"M-macy?" she asks and the little boy who now reaches her hips looks up with a huge grin, looking much too cute swaddled in the thickest coats and an ear warmer with bunny ears.
"Hi, Tamy!" he greets with a grin.
"Oh my god!" Lea exclaims and kneels to embrace the little one. "You're here!"
He nods with a grin. "Surprise!"
She plants a kiss against his temple and embraces him again.
And then her eyes land at the towering figure that approaches closer to them and her breath hitches.
He is wearing a khaki winter coat while a vibrant black scarf is placed snugly around his neck. He isn't wearing ear warmers, something she will be scolding him for later because he obviously needs one if the redness of his ears is anything to go by but for now, she is momentarily stunned.
She blinks to make sure she is awake and not dreaming, but when he doesn't disappear, she gasps.
Ian and Mason are here... in the middle of wintery Boston... with her.
She carefully releases Mason from her embrace and he immediately giggles and squeals as he diverts his attention to the snow that has gathered on the pavement, leaving Lea the opportunity to actually look at Ian.
He offers a hand and helps her stand up when she takes it.
"You're here," she whispers in disbelief, even going as far as prodding his arm with her index finger.
He chuckles at her. "Couldn't enjoy Christmas without my best friend," is all he says but it is enough to open the watergates and flood her with the glaring reality of the real reason why she has been feeling the way she has been.
The sulking, the longing, the seeing him everywhere?
Now that she sees him in front of her... she realizes the truth that has been staring at her the entire time and before she could reign in her emotions, before logic could deter her from doing something so entirely foolish, she throws herself at him and kisses him.
In shock, he stands frozen for a moment, causing her to worry about what she's done but then his lips start to move against her and he wraps her tightly in his arms, leaving her no other choice but to melt in his warmth.
They part and pant, their breaths dissipating in smokes while they stare at each other.
Ian cups her cheek gently and whispers with a huge grin, "Hi Leedja."
She chuckles and brushes the tip of her nose with his, attuned to the warmth, finally realizing what she is after all– a foolish, foolish girl who has been knee deep in denial that the future she wants is actually the one she's been living.
"I want to tell you something," Ian murmurs.
"Hmmm." The corners of her lips curl, slightly in nervousness but also mostly in certainty. She has a feeling she knows what he's going to say.
"Leedja?"
"Yeah?"
"I love you."
And then the snow begins to fall.
What is she again? Just another girl who loves her best friend in a forever kind of way.
"I love you too," she returns and stands on tiptoes to kiss him again while the cold of the snowflakes swirls around them. It doesn't matter, the cold does not bear strength against the warmth that emanates from just a guy and a girl who has finally mustered the courage to say something so difficult to admit.
"Tamy, where's my kiss!" Mason complains which prompts the two adults to part, with Lea red in the cheeks as she pulls the little one to her, and Ian laughing and staring at the sky, ridiculous as he points towards it like he won.
I love you so much, she thinks as she looks at the man she has long called her person... and she does... she really, really does . She tried to deny it with Miguel but love, she supposes is a stubborn thing because it grew with her, it surrounded her, it warmed her, and now, it has found her again. There is no denying something that is fundamentally true after all.