I stood amidst a sea of people, overwhelmed by profound sorrow. Despite being surrounded by a crowd, a sense of solitude enveloped me. Observing the students around me, their eyes filled with disappointment and shock, I appeared pale and fragile, akin to a solitary pillar.
"Devpriya-you must not deny your father's wish priya." Said Gurudev, He wore a deep expression on his face, showing genuine disappointment towards me and my habits of letting him down, although I believed I was doing what was right.
"But Gurudev, i wish to learn under you. I'm sorry if I'm wrong, but learning from a great guru like you is a one in a million chance and i won't let that go, and I'm very good at dancing and Singing i must add." Let out Devpriya didi With an air of unwavering assurance resonating in her voice, which possessed a delightful and delicate quality, I observed Duryodhan stealing glances at her intermittently. His countenance was ablaze, and it seemed as though he yearned to express something, to divulge a secret to gurudev. Despite his attempts to interject, an invisible force hindered him from doing so.
"Whatever you desire-" Gurudev spoke calmly to her, then his gaze shifted as if he could read my thoughts or Duryodhan's. Meanwhile, Duryodhan was lost in deep contemplation, pondering something profound and serious.
"What is it putra Duryodhan? That is bothering you so much-" Gurudev was inquired out of curiosity, prompting everyone to direct their attention towards him. Dusassan found himself at a loss, unable to grasp what his older brother was contemplating, mirroring the confusion of the others. Ashwattama, as stoic as ever, stood by Gurudev like a pillar, his face devoid of emotion as he breathed heavily in between pauses.
"G-Gurudev, it's-actually....I've heard a lot about Rajkumar Balram and his knowledge in mace, i really want to learn from him..." He expressed his hesitation to Guru Drona. The silence permeated the surroundings, as a gentle breeze lazily swept through, accompanied by the incessant cooing of pigeons that filled the void. The afternoon sun caressed like a blazing fire, while leaves sporadically descended to the ground, serving as a reminder of the impending arrival of winter.
"Balram is really a very great mace bearer- you must learn from him. But i believe everything has a time, and this isn't the time for you to learn mace son." Said Gurudev.
"But why Gurudev-" he questioned perplexed, and in an instant his face began fumming as if he was about to erupt, his eyes were narrow and his face was stubbornly changing. Dussassan on his right, too was getting angry for no reason.
"Putra Duryodhan, i believe this is the time to learn the basic needs as a yuvraj and then further study whatever you desire to-" Gurudev spoke in a serene manner, pausing thoughtfully as he carefully selected his words. It was evident to everyone in the ashram that convincing Duryodhan, known for his stubbornness, would require patience and precision.
"Pitashree is right mitra- you have ample time to pursue your studies in mace-" Before Ashwattama could finish his sentence, Duryodhan abruptly interrupted him and commenced speaking, or rather, started barking.
"But this is the right age to learn, isn't it-?" he questioned.
"Mitra think about it-you'd be the yuvraj and then you will have ample amount of time to do whatever excites you, not just now" Ashwattama advanced, placing his hands on Duryodhan's shoulders, trying to make him realize that it was not the appropriate moment for him to leave.
"Guru Drona, this is truly my wish to seek education from him-please allow me, Gurudev." Duryodhan pleaded desperately, clasping his hands together in front of Gurudev, his eyes filled with hope and longing. In response, Gurudev bestowed upon him a serene smile and nodded in affirmation.
I found myself in a state of confusion, wondering if Duryodhan was actually accompanying me and what would unfold next! It was truly unbelievable; he was undeniably vexing, and I had to endure his presence for three long years. Filled with disappointment, I closed my eyes as he leaped into the air, exuding joy.
"May I pack my belongings gurudev-" he asked them, and he simply smiled and gave him a nod.
"Pack your things nihira-" As Gurudev exited without even glancing back at me, the students followed suit, leaving me standing there feeling perplexed and drained with Ashwattama by my side. His eyes held an emotion that seemed to convey more than words, but something seemed to be holding us back from expressing ourselves fully. Despite the unspoken communication between us, there was a barrier that prevented us from moving forward. He gazed at me with his warm, honey eyes, breathing softly. Tears welled up in my eyes as I fought to keep them from falling, questioning myself about what I had done to leave him behind in this harsh world. It felt like an eternity as I prepared to depart, while he seemed resigned to being left behind.
The wind gushed, carrying the fallen leaves through the air as we stood in perfect harmony. Despite the storm brewing in our hearts, pushing us further apart each day, I wondered how I would survive without seeing him. My heart pounded loudly in my heavy chest. We gazed at each other like foolish lovers, driven by young blood. Perhaps it was something my heart had always longed for.
He did not come forward, and neither did I, to initiate any conversation. It felt like it might be the last time we would see each other, and who knows when we will meet again, sharing that same unspoken mutual feeling that has been expressed through actions countless times. It was either him who would end up with me forever, or I knew that no one else could ever take his place in my heart. He is my first love, the one I desire. And I am certainly his. He is complete within himself, while I am just incomplete without him.
It was time to depart, and Duryodhan was filled with such excitement that he inadvertently neglected to bid farewell to his brothers. However, he certainly did not overlook the opportunity to create a scene with the Pandavas and embrace Dussassan for a final time.
"Take Care Anuj." He said as he began walking towards the exit of the ashram. And suddenly he turned back, when his gaze met with Devpriya who stood there looking at him, from a very long time. The afternoon waft playing with her loose curls, and her eyes were slightly filled with tears, that smudged her kajal. Duryodhan attempted to speak, but instead, he found himself gasping for breath. In response, Devpriya offered him a tender smile.
"You too, take care Duri." She said that made something beat inside Duryodhan's chest. He knew there wasn't something like a soft heart inside him, but when it bounced ferociously for the very first time, he knew that there was truly something like a heart inside him.
With tears welling up in my eyes, I stood there, gazing at each of them with an overwhelming sense of love and affection. Sehdev, although concealing his tears, Nakul, who had been absent since the morning assembly, and Bhrata Bheem, who had generously provided me with fruits and laddoos for my journey. I greeted everyone warmly, but when I reached Sehdev,he remained motionless like steadfast pillars.
"Where is Nakul-?" I questioned.
"He's--somewhere around--" Bhrata Arjun spoke, prompting all in the ashram to search for his sign.
"Why do you have to always do the stupidest thing of the world nihira-?" Said Sehdev lowering his gaze.
"I'm sorry, I promise I'll become mature now-" I said giving them a soft smile.
"That is no way possible for you." Nakul's voice emerged as he appeared unexpectedly behind Bheem. Clutched in his hand was a petite arrangement of vibrant wild flowers, showcasing a variety of hues including blue, red, pink, and white. Positioned before me, he wore a sorrowful smile that stretched across his lips, as he presented me with the hastily crafted bouquet.
"This is--- so pretty." I said.
"You will be missed Nihira." Nakul uttered, inhaling deeply as tears threatened to cascade from my eyes. I struggled to convey the immense significance they held for me in that moment; they were my ultimate solace. Before parting ways, I bestowed upon them a final smile. Although I knew I would return to the ashram in three years' time, in that instant, it felt like my true abode.
I scanned the area for Ashwattama, but he was not in sight. I respectfully touched gurudev's feet as we embarked on our journey to Mathura.
. . .
Mathura, a large town located along the banks of the Yamuna River, stood out as a unique destination unlike any other urban area I had visited in modern times. The town exuded a rich cultural heritage and deep-rooted traditions. At its heart, the slate-colored Rajmahal palace was surrounded by a multitude of soldiers, while vibrant mud-colored houses dotted the area. The women of Mathura moved with elegance and joy as they made their way to the Yamuna River to collect water.
Mathura was a kaleidoscope of colors. The bustling markets and lively streets exuded vibrancy. I positioned myself by the window, gazing out at the drawing sun, as if it was drowning into the yamuna, the layer or orange was spreaded upon the dark water, children played around the ghats. The sky was crimson and the soft summer breeze blew across my face, playing with my curls. I listened to the birds returning to their home in the dawn. And a sweet smell of Jasmine filled my nostrils as the time for sandhya aarti approached.
A lot of incense sticks began spreading their aroma across the palace, the cozy and warm sunlight slowly jingled upon my long skirt, the stars emboided upon it began scattering their reflection around the room, and filled the entire space with different scattered lights. The entire experience exuded an enchanting aura, albeit superficially. However, deep within me, my heart remained tethered to the realms of Kuru Rashtra. He embodied an insatiable craving, and I yearned for him with every fiber of my being. The thought of losing him was simply incomprehensible, a reality I couldn't come to terms with. It was undeniably surreal.
I lowered my gaze towards the window pane, briefly shutting my eyes. Hoping to sense his presence, I inhaled deeply, reminiscing about the countless cherished moments we shared. All I yearned for was to relive those precious memories. Ironically, falling in love with a demi god was never part of my plans in this modern age. Yet, here I was, clinging onto the hope of encountering him once more, while burdened with the weight of disappointment for having let down his father, Guru Drona.
My eyes became heavy, and i was almost on the verge of passing out when a very soothing voice, something like honey or probably more sweeter than honey reached my ears, and as if every cell of my body was in a new zeal, a sudden urge to live and laugh filled the voide inside me. And immediately i opened my eyes, with a smile appearing on my face, i turned around.
"Kahna..." i murmured softly upon seeing him at the entrance. He appeared so ethereal that I struggled to accept his presence before me. Gasping for breath, I stood up from the bench, trying to approach him. But before I could, I tripped and fell to the ground, my leg caught in the long skirt I wore, causing me to tremble and reach out for support with my hands.
The room was instantly filled with his delightful laughter, causing even me to crack a smile. As I stood up, I brushed off the dust, my smile lingering a bit too strongly. I approached him, almost surrendering myself to his presence.
"Sakhi, where were you so lost-?" He asked folding his arms around and giving me a sarcastic smile.
"How am i even expected to be stable when im taking to you-"i said moving my body like a kid in front of him. As the pink and green coloured dupatta jingled along with me, it had those bells emboided at its border which gave a beautiful sound in between.
"Hmm, that is right-but still you were lost somewhere weren't you-?" He questioned raising his eyebrows at me.
"Ah--i-- Kahna you know everything--" I said with a pause, looking down at his feets.
"You asked me to write my own destiny- and here Im. What have I done--" As my voice cracked, revealing my uncertainty and sadness, a single tear escaped my eye and landed on his feet, causing my heart to ache. When I looked up at him, I was met with a serene smile, and his eyes exuded a sense of calmness and composure, much like his overall presence.
"Sakhi-"
He softly brushed away the tears that streamed down my face, instructing me to take a seat on the closest wooden bench. Overwhelmed by emotions, I yearned for Ashwattama's presence and the feeling of his touch. Memories of his teasing, his admiration for Gurudev and Duryodhan, all flooded back to me in that moment.
"...but I've heard his very cold and rigid-" he said, I was so lost that I couldn't even remember what he said before as I looked at him suddenly perplexed.
"Huh-"
"Isn't he rude to you?" He questioned.
"No-"
"It happens when you get away from someone you love, they crave for you more. And that's what is happening with you Sakhi." He spoke.
"He didn't even came to say me goodbye-"
"Maybe he was there somewhere hiding behind and seeing you go away." He said with a seredonic smile.
"You are very delusional kahna." I said.
"Sapne dekhoge nahi toh sach kaise honge Sakhi."
Guys guys !!! We've crossed 10k+ views. Thankyou so much for the immense love yall are showing on Sojourn. Yall truely deserve the world.
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And the story of Duryodhan learning mace as a weapon is a different story, i mean he does learn mace from Balram but at the times of Lakshagrah and pandavas exile but i just had to do something with the story so i just fast forwarded it, please don't cancel me😭👏
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