Upon awakening, I was greeted by a throbbing headache and a disoriented mind. Slowly, I opened my eyes, only to find myself inside a tent, struggling to clear my blurred vision. Memories from the previous night flooded back to me - Ekalavya's sacrifice and Guru Drona's insatiable desire - all of which caused a sudden surge of pain in my brain. Trembling uncontrollably, I realized that I had never witnessed such a bizarre scene in my entire life.
My thoughts drifted back to the conversation I had with, Guru Drona. Suddenly, my attention was drawn to Devpriya didi, who entered the tent with a look of sheer terror on her face.
"How do you feel now?" She questioned sitting down on the mattress.
"Better—" I replied.
"Why were you so stubborn last night, Gurudev has been fuming since then." She said, giving me a glass of water. As i sat folding my legs togther for some warmth.
"It wasn't my mistake, he was so rigid and arrogant, atleast he should have thought about the little boy for once—" before I could speak, I heard footsteps approaching in the tent, and somehow i could tell it probably was ashwattama. My heart began to ponder and i wished he was not ignoring me like last night.
It was him, he entered into the tent. He had an cold expression, as if he never knew me. I gasped on seeing him.
"Devpriya would you please—" he said signing her to leave us alone. I breathed heavily, for what he might say out. I felt weak and lacked energy. Devpriya nodded in agreement and exited the tent. He positioned himself in front of me, still holding onto that cold and arrogent expression. His eyes were scanning the room, unable to met mine. I waited for him to make an eye contact, something understanding that would sooth me but he suddenly threw the arrows of words at me.
"Nihira, yesterday was the first and last time you raised voice at my father." He said placing his arms on his waist aggressively.
"Ah—" i gasped for air, unable to comprehend, how randomly he began the conversation.
"I wouldn't stand for anyone doubting my father. But because it was you, I stopped. If it had been someone else in your position, they might not have made it through yesterday." He continued.
A sudden feeling of terror seized me, because I had only heard of this side me him, never in all these months I bad expected it to witness. I breathed heavily, with a pounding head.
"I just voiced my opinions, and your father had—" before i could compelete he began speaking harshly.
"Your opinions doesn't matter here." He spoke, shattering my heart into countless fragments. I looked at him with wide eyes, shocked and perplexed on how cold he could get. I had always seen his soft side, but the way he spoke suddenly out of nowhere made me question his politeness. I opened and closed my mouth trying not to say something very rude to him, i was totally taken aback by his words.
"What, why my opinions does not matter—?" i spoke.
"Because—"
"Because you are not supposed to speak something like that to anyone, you opining does not count anywhere." He replied.
"I expressed my true feelings, and you are nobody to tell how I should feel about this. You had the option to support me, yet you chose not to." I said looking at him with shattered heart and soul.
"Nihira—now I'm a nobody to you." He expressed his anger and surprise through his wide eyes.
"Ah—y you were wrong yesterday, why didn't you saw your father being a heartless man all of a sudden—?" I spoke when my eyes began to fill with water.
"Nihira he is my father. Regardless of whether he is right or wrong, I will obediently adhere to his instructions. Do you understand?" He spoke sternly.
"But what about the boy—" I questioned.
"Nihira, why do you have such a strong fixation on the boy? What if he had lost his entire hand in a war? What actions would you have taken? Would you have ventured to the battlefield to seek out the perpetrator? Or would you have continued to support him?" He exclaimed.
I expressed, with tears streaming down my face and my voice trembling, that there was no conflict the previous day. Instead, there was an unpleasant and conceited instructor who solely prioritized his reputation and ego. His sole desire was for his students to surpass all others. I gasped for breath as I confronted him, and he gazed back at me with his deep, disapproving brown eyes. Not once did he even blink, maintaining his unwavering stare.
"Devpriya didi once mentioned to me that Gurudev shows favoritism towards Bhrata Arjun, but I was the only one who couldn't see anything beyond you. He is biased towards arjun, Ashwattama," I uttered while tears streamed down my face.
"He may be biased, but he is still my father and your Guru, isn't he? So, what is your next move?" He asked, tilting his head slightly and looking at me.
Our gazes locked, and within his eyes, there was a hidden secret he couldn't reveal. I marveled at his ability to keep his emotions in check, never allowing them to interfere with his true self. Yet, beneath his composed exterior, I glimpsed his tender and courteous nature. The depth of his compassion and the immense love he held for everything and everyone touched me deeply. Once again, tears welled up in my eyes.
"What do you want me to do now?" I questioned. As I clasped my hands together, he wore a deep expression on his face. His intense gaze locked onto me, making it impossible to hold eye contact. It was as if his eyes had the power to dissolve me. My heart raced and my pulse quickened as I glanced downwards. In that moment, I questioned myself, wondering if I had made a mistake. However, deep down, I realized that my actions were justified, even though the person I opposed turned out to be completely wrong. .
"Apologises to my father." As he advanced towards me, I instinctively moved back, feeling overwhelmed by his presence. I nearly lost my balance and stumbled onto the mattress when he firmly grasped my wrist, pulling me upright. With a strong grip on me, his touch and heavy breathing weighed heavily on me. I tried to suppress the shivers running down my spine, avoiding making eye contact with him by looking around nervously.
"I would not—" i said. Abruptly, I turned my gaze towards him. He clenched his jaw firmly. Arching his eyebrows at me, a mischievous grin spread across his face. Perplexed by his expression, I maintained eye contact, shaking my head in disbelief.
"You are the first to disagree with me, do you know this priya nihira." With his tongue flicking inside his mouth, he uttered, while crossing his arms and casting a menacing gaze at me, sending shivers down my spine.
"I am not apologizing to anyone when I'm not wrong, do you understand Ashwattama?" I shouted.
"Let us now observe the extent of your bravery in opposing my advice. However, in due course, you will be compelled to offer your apologies to him." He stated, fixing his gaze upon me.
"I'm not scared of you ashwattama."
I glanced at him, matching his energy, pretending to be as bold as he was. However, deep down, I knew I would go to any extent for him, willing to do anything in this world. If he had asked me to bring all the stars from the universe, I would have. If he had asked me to drink the water from the seven oceans, I would have. If he had asked me to collect raindrops, I would have. But this time, when he asked me to apologize for something I hadn't done wrong, I simply couldn't. My self-respect surpassed the boundaries of love.
"You wish, nihira."
As he turned around and left the tent, I remained still, contemplating my actions. I couldn't help but question myself. There was undeniably a strong connection between us, a magnetic force that drew us together, yet simultaneously pushed us apart. Today's events were truly unimaginable. Did we stop communicating solely because of my ego? Or did I do something that was essential given the circumstances? Collapsing onto the ground, I felt a sharp ache in my limbs and chest. It was a sensation of losing someone, an unfamiliar feeling that I had never encountered nor desired.
* * *
Devpriya stood just outside the tent, attentively eavesdropping on our conversation. She kept her ears perked up, capturing every single word. When Ashwattama stormed out in anger, she quickly concealed herself behind the tent. As he walked away, she trailed behind him, beckoning him from behind.
"Ashwattama—" She interrupted him, causing him to pause in the middle of his actions. He stopped and turned back, showing no interest in hearing from her.
"What—" he said harshly.
"I was thinking, i know this is not right. But—" she said hesisting.
"Speak up whatever it is, i don't have time for your nonsense." He spoke in a raised voice, causing two to three heads to turn in their direction.
"Ah, nihira was saying—" With a narrowed gaze and a faint smile adorning her countenance, she uttered her words. Her tresses danced gracefully in the breeze, swaying with the gentle waft. Ashwattama confronted him, wearing an expression that suggested he could end her life in an instant.
"What—speak up. You—" he stopped allowing her to speak.
"That she'd left the ashram, soon." Said Devpriya slowly.
"What—why?" He questioned perplexed.
"Because, she could not see any injustice against anyone, and specially from your father. I think she will inform this to pitashree, i saw her writing a letter" She added.
"She's not going anywhere. You need to shut up." He said pointing her to stay quite.
"She's nihira, you don't know her. She can go to any extent when she wants to do something." She added.
"Did I mention you to shut up— she's not going anywhere. Do your work devpriya." He said turning around and began moving.
"Let's see than what she does and what she does not." Devpriya's voice came from behind, but Ashwattama completely disregarded it as he made his way towards the lake. There was a burning sensation in his heart, an indescribable feeling that he couldn't comprehend. He longed to speak to Nihira, but for some reason, he couldn't find the words. He wished to clarify everything to her, but it seemed impossible. A mysterious force seemed to stop and push them away.
* * *
Back in the tent, Nihira found herself in a state of confusion, unsure of whether she was right or wrong. She felt disarrayed and unable to speak to Ashwattama. Nakul and Sehdev were by her side, attempting to comfort her. While some believed she was wrong and others believed she was right, what truly mattered was how she felt, not the opinions of others. Nakul advised her to simply let it be, as sometimes overthinking only leads to more confusion.
"धैर्य की अपनी एक सीमा है अगर जादा हो जाये तो कायरता कहलाती है ।।"
Said Nakul, expalaing her that she was right at what she did.
(Patience has limits, and if it exceeds than it is called cowardness)
Nihira wept uncontrollably, using her dupatta to dry her tears, which irritated her delicate baby skin, causing a rash on her cheek. She glanced at Nakul, who appeared highly anxious and torn between loyalties, as Drona was his mentor as well, and Nihira was his closest friend.
"Nakul and Sehdev I wish i just could go away and away from her, somewhere far away into the oceans, where there's only peace and tranquility, a place so pretty where the ocean meets the sky. Nobody would disturb me, I would sit on the beach and just would adore the sunset and do nothing." I expressed weeping.
"Nihira, I hope manifestations work." Let out Sehdev.
Hi, um sorry for this late update. I once again lacked energy hehe. I hope you liked this chapter. Idk how it is, tell me your honest opinion.
And thankyou so much for 8k+ views I mean— sjejkwkwjwbw you guys are insan I love you all. 😭🥰💗🫶🫧😇🙏✨️