A/N: This chapter is gonna be a rollercoaster, enjoy!! Feel free to laugh AND cry.
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~ November 2018, Isabel's POV ~
Truth be totally told, I only come to all these parties because of Harry. As someone who's been homeschooled her whole life, I'm socially awkward. One second I'm quiet and barely peep out a word, the next I'm blabbering nonsense. It's only been 3 months of attending public school and I like to think that I'm getting the hang of social interaction, except deep down inside I know that's just a lie I tell myself to get by.
Grade-wise, I'm doing just fine with a balance of A's and occasional B's on my report cards. However, when it comes to my social life, I'd have a C if it were a class and I was being graded for it.
My first time confessing my feelings for someone and it backfires. Of course, what was I expecting when my fate up until that point was crushes on a gay guy, and my celeb crush on Harry Styles who is completely unaware of my existence and Harry Not Styles but Goldwyn who would never go for me... or at least not until now.
My crush on Ash was so short-term and I got over them real easily. Harry on the other hand, is incredibly hard to resist and it's such an on and off thing I put myself through and for what? I don't know what we are at this point. We kissed, we can't be just friends after that!
Besides my perplexing and pathetic lovelife, it also doesn't help that the cooler kids pick on me to the point where I believe it's literal bullying. Because of this, on somedays I wish I were still stuck at home and homeschooled. Surprisingly so, the most popular guy at school, James Walker, is actually nice to me and always wants to talk to me. I'll converse with him for a few minutes until Harry interrupts and 'steals' me away. In a warped, estranged, messed up way, Harry's jealousy towards James is adorable. It signals how he does want to be with me and it's so hard to fight it when he looks like that.
I've ignored Harry all day just so that he could be the one to come up to me and put the effort in starting the conversation. Isn't playing hard to get how you get the boy? I have no idea, but I really wish Taylor Swift could've written a sequel to her 1989 song 'How You Get The Girl' and called it 'How You Get The Boy'. It's a shame that 2018 is too late for there to be a re-release of the 1989 album and then there could be like unreleased songs featured. Taylor could call it 'from the vault' songs or something like that. Ha, that's crazy, as if that was to ever occur in a million years.
" So. " Harry awkwardly pretended to clear his throat. " How have you been? "
" I know we're friends, but I like you, I really do! " I nervously confessed. " Do you like me too, Harry? "
" Iz, we'll see what will happen next when the time comes to decide whether we'll be more or not. For now, let's just continue being best friends. "
" Oh come on, you can at least tell me whether you like me in that sense too, or did I just waste my first kiss on someone who doesn't deserve to be my first? " I madly crossed both of my arms, slightly pissed at Harry for lacking to make his intentions clear.
" Yes, Iz, ofcourse I like you. You're the only girl I've ever felt like this for. I like you more than I like Taylor Swift and her cats. "
I furrowed my brows at Harry's estranged remark regarding Taylor and her precious, adorable cats." You have a crush on her cats? Dude, that's kind of weird. "
" I didn't mean it like that. "
My heart dropped, and metaphorically, just like glass, it shattered. " So you don't like me then? "
" No, I do like you! And someday I'm going to love you, and we'll get married, have 10 kids and teach them how to dream. " He exclaimed.
( A/N: Wth did I write 5 months ago lmao, what is this qsdfghjklqwaersdtfguyhijokozsdxfcgvbjhnmk )
I could feel my face flush burning red at the thought of spending all my life with the boy who means the most to me. " I do! " I accidentally blurted out loud.
" Iz, I'm pretty sure it's illegal for two 13 year olds to wed and I don't think we can afford housing without a job. How would I pay for our Honeymoon and what abo- "
Without giving it much thought, I pressed my lips against his soft ones. I knew this was the only to get Harry to shut up before he got into detail about taxes or what we would name our future children. He kissed me back and ended up we making out for a while until the warning bell rang and we realized we were late for History.... Maybe we can make out again during detention?
Even then, I haven't yet received a confirmation from Harry on what we are now. There's no way I'm getting played in a situationship. Is this even fair to me?
~ later on that day ~
" Hey Isabel! " James cheerily greeted me as he passed by me in the hallway.
" Hey James. " I sluggishly greeted back.
" I can tell you're not very fond of me, but can't we at least be friends for now. " He suggested, surprisingly in a lighthearted, formal tone.
" How can we be friends when you mock Harry all the time? " I harshly pointed out.
" Well Haz and I have never really gotten along in the first place. Don't allow your boyfriend to hold us back from being friends. "
I fiercely objected right within a mere instant." He's not my boyfriend! "
" Wait, he isn't? That's good to know." James asked with the widest eyes, completely stunned by my so-called 'mind-blowing' response. Geez, does everyone at this school assume Harry and I are something more? Then again, I can't blame my peers at all, considering I could've sworn we were something more...
" So James, what do you want? " I hastily rolled my eyes, both impatient and eager to head to my next class already instead of 'willingly' standing here making small-talk with the school's grade A asshole.
" Isabel De La Cruz, I like you. "
" Oh James, that's a good one. You're hilarious, have you ever thought of being a comedian? " I walked away laughing, under the assumption that what James had confessed was actually just a joke. How come I can get James to jokingly confess his 'feelings' for me, but my own best friend needs time to think about whether he wants to be in a romantic relationship with me? Life was good, but now it sucks again. All I want is Harry's love. Is all I want too much to ask?
Despite it being 11 am on a school day in literal school, I plugged in my earphones and tuned into Spotify. I scrolled through my daily 'go to songs' playlist and begun to play my favorite Paramore song 'All I Wanted' from their album 'Brand New Eyes'. The pop-punk, heartbreak anthem was naturally the mood today; All I wanted was you indeed.
~ Harry's POV ~
It's not that I meant to be a complete jerk, but it sure started to seem like I'm playing the role of one. I just have a bad feeling about what could go down if Isabel and I become something more than just friends. It's something that won't be easily repaired and I fear it could cause a falling out in the future.
The road love walks on is a fragile pavement, frequently rocky and likely to trip over. I guess that's why people fall in love... perhaps they fall in too deep into the mantle. Too deep to the point that they're unable to move forward afterwards.
In general, I don't trust myself with handling anyone's heart- and by that, I mean the affection, emotions and hurt that comes along with it. I wouldn't want to be the blame, but I'm very much capable of being so.
That's what you get when you let your heart win, and I'm not sure whether I'd like to be a part of that.
A/N: This chapter was primarily pre-written from the OG Deja Vu, so if you were getting deja vu, that's why 😅 To be fair, so was the last chapter-
If Harry's part in this chapter felt so short, I apologize. I'm on writer's block and I feel like what needs to be said for this particular chapter is already well said. There aren't many chapters in this 2018 timeframe.... only ONE MORE. Yeah, it's crazy how the time is about to fly to 2020 by chapter 11. Now I must work on the 2020 interlude for this book. Our favorite year, right?... In an alternate universe where covid and lockdown was nonexistent 💀