"How old are you, Miss Olsen?" our massively overpriced fertility nurse asked.
"29," Liz answered, her hand firmly in mine as we sat opposite the desk with her leg jumping up and down quickly.
"I'm going to be very honest with you," she smiled softly, closing her notebook that sat on her huge mahogany desk, "as soon as you hit thirty, it's going to become significantly harder to fall pregnant naturally."
"We know," I nodded, "that's why we're here," I spoke, looking over at Lizzie who nodded in agreement.
"We want to get the ball rolling," she finished.
"Okay," the nurse smiled, "Elizabeth, if I give you a quick swab test, we can check your fertility levels and then see what options you have before you leave this evening."
"O-okay, yeah, that's perfect," Lizzie smiled with slight relief.
"We were also wondering if I can be tested too ... just in case," I added, "I've had a few medical issues so we're not confident about anything but thought we'd check."
"That's no problem," she smiled back, "each testing kit is around $600 and then the results will be an extra $200."
"Each?" Lizzie checked, "$800 ... each?"
"$700 each," she corrected with the same smile, "the results are only $100 per person."
"Only," I exhaled, my eyes widening.
"Is that an issue? We have many payment options if that's the case," she assured us like $1400 isn't a lot of money.
"I've got it covered, it's okay," Lizzie told me, squeezing my hand, "I'll cover it."
"Are you sure? We can get my test done another day or next month-"
"Y/N/N, I've got it, it's okay," she assured me with a. small smile, "it's worth it if it means we get a family at the end."
"Okay," I exhaled shakily, "all right, let's do this."
"Okay," she repeated as she looked back toward the nurse, "I'll write up a check and we can do the tests now?"
"Perfect," the nurse smiled, "Y/N, would you like to go first?"
I nodded and took off my coat, "how does this work?"
"If you lay down for me, it's just a few simple vaginal swaps and a blood test, are you okay with that?" she checked, washing her hands as Lizzie wrote up a check.
"All good with me Doctor," I agreed.
"Lovely," she smiled, "call me Rachel by the way, hopefully I'll be with you through your whole journey."
I smiled softly and laid down on the bed as she very quickly shoved a swab inside me, making me giggle in shock.
"Woahhh there Rachel, take me on a date first," I laughed.
"Sorry," she smiled, putting another inside me as I let out another laugh.
"Y/N/N, stop being so childish," Lizzie giggled, "sorry about her, she's like a teenage boy."
"Shut up," I smirked, looking over at my girlfriend.
"Okay, just the blood test now," Rachel beamed, "are you going to laugh as I put this in your arm?"
"I can't make any promises that I won't," I smirked, the needle injecting into my vein, "ouch."
"You'd think she'd never been to a doctor's office before," Liz told the nurse with a smile.
"It's okay, I've heard much worse," Rachel laughed, "Elizabeth, you ready to go next?"
"Yup," Liz smiled, switching places with me and not even flinching as Rachel performed the swabs and then the blood test.
"Took it like a champ," I laughed.
"I am a champ," she smiled proudly, redressing.
"The test results should only take an hour if you want to wait outside this office, I'll get you when they're ready," Rachel told us gently.
We both nodded and took our previous seats in the waiting room. Lizzie exhaled shakily and leaned her head on my shoulder, my hand gravitating back to hers.
"You never need to worry about money," she told me.
I furrowed my brows, and she picked her head up to look into my eyes with a sad smile.
"For better or for worse, I'll cover you for anything like this," she confirmed with a soft smile, "I saw how you froze up in there and again when we were getting the house."
"It's just automatic, I guess," I nodded in agreement, "I've never had a lot of money s-so hearing sums like that ... it just takes me a moment to process that I do have the ability to afford it."
"I've been lucky my whole life, my family is comfortable, that's not a big secret, and if we ever needed anything, mom would help us out, but we won't need that ... I told you how much I make," she smiled, squeezing my hand, "you'll never have to worry about money again, all right?"
I nodded slowly and this time leaned my head on her shoulder, "it's going to take a while for me to get used to that I think."
"Take your time, I'm not going anywhere, and neither is my bank account," she joked slightly, resting her head on mine.
"I know," I laughed out my nose.
"Are you worried about the results?" she asked.
"A little bit," I admitted, "we'll be okay either way though."
"I really want this Y/N/N," she mumbled.
"We're gonna have a baby," I replied, my thumb tracing the back of her hand gently.
She nodded slowly, a shaky exhale coming from her nose.
"I love you," I whispered, kissing the back of her hand.
"I love you too darling," she sighed.
...
"Olsen?" our nurse called out when Lizzie was playing candy crush on my phone, "I've got your results back."
"Let's do this," I told her in one exhale, "you ready?"
"No," she smiled sadly, "are you?"
"Nope," I laughed slightly, leading her into the consultation room with my hand tightly in hers.
As we both took our previous seats, Lizzie shuffled her chair closer to mine and gave a small nod to say 'we'll be okay' before our nurse opened a file on her desk.
"Y/N," she started.
I hummed and nodded at her, tearing my eyes away from Lizzie's lap where our shaky hands were sitting.
"You're not infertile," she told me.
"But?" I asked.
"With the medication you're on, it wouldn't be safe to carry a baby," she explained, "obviously if you weren't on the meds, it would be different, but I don't want to go against your hospital notes that say you need to be taking these pills regularly."
"Okay," I nodded quickly, "that's okay ... thank you for checking anyway..."
She smiled and nodded back at me, closing that folder and looking over at Lizzie as she opened the next folder.
"Well?" Liz asked quietly.
The nurse just smiled sadly.
"Please," Lizzie whispered.
"Have you ever heard of ovarian reserve?" she asked us.
We both shook our heads.
"In simple terms, the walls of your ovaries are going to severely struggle to hold onto an embryo," she explained slowly.
"But it's not impossible," I butt in, "they might struggle but-"
"No, it's not impossible," Rachel smiled at us, "there are still many options you can try-"
"So, what does that mean for us and- and our family?" Lizzie asked sadly, her chin quivering.
"There are many opti-"
"Options, you said," Liz frowned, "but if my body doesn't want to accept those embryos, we're not having a baby."
"Technology is changing every day," Rachel smiled back sadly.
"We're not going to be able to conceive, are we?" Lizzie sighed, her tears now falling down her cheeks as she didn't even bother to wipe them away.
"If we did," I interrupted, holding Lizzie's hand tightly, "if we tried to conceive, what are the chances it will work?"
"Through IVF, about 20%," she started, "if you want to use IUI, there a 35% chance and if those don't seem viable for you guys, there is a simple surgery where we will attach the embryo ourselves."
"H-how simple is this surgery?" Lizzie cried softly.
I changed our hand position so I could press on each of her finger pads to ground her breathing as she practically sobbed next to me.
"It'll only take an hour to complete but the recovery time is about 5 weeks, so you won't be able to do much while you heal," Rachel explained, a sad furrow on her eyebrows.
"And the success rate of that option?" I asked.
"For women with your condition, about 50%," she sighed.
"50%?" I checked, my own eyes glossing over, "okay ... I like those odds a little bit better but ... babe, it's your body."
"I'll take 50%," she cried softly, biting her cheek, "can we try a round of the IUI first?"
"Of course, you can," Rachel smiled sadly, "I'm really sorry to have had to tell you guys this news."
"No ... we appreciate it, thank you," I smiled back, even sadder.
"I'll make a note that you want to try the IUI, and we can come back to the surgery option if worse comes to worst," she said.
Lizzie nodded quickly, "thank you ... so much, I- um- sorry- I- I need to step outside."
"I'll finish here, go to the car," I smiled softly at her, giving her the car keys as she quickly walked out.
"I'm sorry," Rachel sighed, "I'll make an appointment next week for you to pick up the kit. It can be kept in the fridge for up to two years, but I would stress that Elizabeth's fertility will decrease over time so if you're both set on having kids, I would have some serious conversations and find a donor."
"That's fine, thank you for everything you've done today," I nodded, "we'll see you next week."
"See you next week Miss Y/L/N."
I hummed and nodded, walking out of the building as I felt my own tears falling down my cheeks. Quickly trying to wipe my wet face, I caught Lizzie sobbing in the passenger seat of her car, her head leaning back against the headrest. Pulling open the door, she looked over at me and shook her head.
"I knew it," she sobbed.
"It's going to be okay," I cried softly, taking her into a tight hug, "It's all going to work out, we'll be okay."
She nodded quickly and hugged me back tightly, sobbing hard into the crook of my neck as my own tears puddled down onto her jumper.
"What have I done to deserve this?" she cried, "I don't know what I've done."
"It's not you," I sighed, "it's not you Lizard, not at all."
She sobbed even harder and all I could do was cry with her and run my hand up and down her spine.
"I've got you," I whispered, "you're so so loved ... we'll figure this out together darling."
___
A/N - the next lot of chapters are ... well I'll let you find out ;)