"Ugh." Shirin groaned while clutching her head in her hands. "Of course this just had to happen to me."
A man with silver skin that matched his hair and a red cloak smirked towards her. "Ah, Uchiha Shirin, I don't believe we ever had the pleasure of meeting while you were alive."
And thank goodness for that. Shirin can already tell that this guy was no fun at all.
Out of the corner of her eye the Uchiha spots a whisk of blond hair. "Oh, Deidara, you're also back." She waved to the boy who snapped his head towards her.
His jaw drops. "You died?!"
Aw, he had such faith in her survival.
But then he continued. "I didn't know cockroaches could die!"
Ah, that actually makes more sense.
"Screw you blondie." She flipped him off with an bland expression. "At least I didn't die in a meaningless battle against a dude who wasn't even going to really kill you."
"No." Kabuto drawled, interrupting their bickering. "You died without a fight, letting illness kill you first. Now go, there is much to be done."
Her body tensed before doing as told. Just when things were getting good to...
...
Sometimes, just sometimes, Shirin wakes up with the overwhelming urge to commit an ungodly amount of homicide. Being revived via Edo-tensei seemed to give off the same effect.
Who would've thought?
"God, I absolutely despise that damn Snake." She declared while jumping to the next available tree branch.
"The man back there wasn't Orochimaru." Pein, or rather Nagato, whatever he's going by these days, informs her with a deadpanned expression.
Shirin shrugged. "They give off the same creepy vibe. Is it still acceptable to punch someone over their vibe?"
Actually, she really doesn't care if it is or isn't. The fact of the matter is was that she's doing it anyway.
Kabuto just had a face that screamed 'I'm a scumbag, please hit me.'
The redhead threw her an amused look. "I forget that sometimes you were more violent then Hidan when someone truly annoys you."
...that feels like an insult somehow.
Pein inclined his head towards her. "Though I've never had the chance to ask it has been eating away at me. Why did you join the Akatsuki?"
Oh? Well, she certainly hadn't expected Pein of all people to ask her that.
"Would you believe me if I said it was because I was bored?"
"No."
Damn it.
"Fine then, I'll tell you." Shirin huffed out. "Honestly, I just wanted to make sure an S-Rank organisation didn't destroy the world."
Nagato raised an elegant eyebrow towards her.
"Ok fine, that was a lie."
The Akatsuki leader shook his head with exasperation. "If you do not wish to tell me then it isn't necessary, Shirin. I am no longer your leader."
As if Shirin would tell him anything even if he was.
Before silence could befall them Pein spoke up. "Would you rather have had Kisame accompany you right now?"
What kind of question is that?
"Is the the sky blue?" She replied sarcastically.
"Not always."
Bastard.
"Fine, would you've rather had Konan here?" Shirin asked back.
Pein let out a deep breath, impressive considering he doesn't have to breath. "I'd rather see her in the afterlife than be disgraced with this half-life."
That's fair.
"The afterlife is quite fun." She agreed. "What were you doing before being brought back?"
"I cannot say, my memory is blurred." Pein confesses. "And you?"
"Catching up with my mama."
The former Akatsuki leader gave her an odd look. "I was under the impress that your mother was alive."
"She is."
Pein gave her a look that told her to expand.
Like an absolute ass she decidedly didn't.
"You sense that?" Shirin whispers, not really waiting for a reply as a grin crossed her face. "This is going to be fun."
...
Shirin whistled as Naruto landed in-front of both her and Pein. Seems like the kid got a power up.
"Introduce us Naruto, you're the only one who we all know here so it's only right that you're the one to do it." She said, pointedly look at the man who seemed to be from Kumo if his headband was any indicator.
Pein shook his head. "That's Killer B from Kumogakure. He's the eight tails Jinchuriki Shirin, you should know this, we were discussing him in one of our later debriefs."
Her eyes widen dramatically. "We were actually meant to listen to those?" She was normally playing poker with Kisame in the debriefs.
With the tired look her former leader was giving her the answer might be yes.
Killer B stood firmly by the blonds side. "Naruto, let's beat these undead fools, back into their tombs!"
Oh god, that was absolutely awful. The Uchiha grinned anyway.
"Man, who had the eight-tails as their target? This guy is an absolute riot." She states with an amused expression plastered across her face.
Pein shakes his head, ignoring her completely and giving Naruto his undivided attention. "You've grown quickly, Naruto."
The Uzumaki grimaces. "This is awful, desecrating the dead like this." He murmurs before falling into a fighting stance.
Wow, Shirin didn't know Naruto could use big words like that.
Her eyes scan the two she must fight as Pein continues talking to Naruto. And then she sees it.
"Is that Samehada?" She tilts her head to the side. "Well, I did tell Kisame that I'd give it to a random stranger so I won't begrudge you for having it."
Killer B grasped the sword in his hand before pointing it to her. "Your fish friend was cooked and B won't let you off the hook!"
If he starts rapping again Shirin may actually cry. And Shirin hasn't cried since...
..Ever.
She eyes the Jinchuriki wearily. "You know what? I don't think I like you anymore."
The man grins before charging at her, swinging Samehada towards her with expert precision. Narrowly avoiding the swing by stepping back Shirin finds herself having to dodge again as Samehada crashes down onto her.
The log next to her was an easy substitution.
Feeling her mangekyo spin wildly in her eyes Shirin had a thought.
If she paused time then maybe she could just...
As the world slowed a pressure released from her. So it seems as though a command can only exist at the same time the caster lives but the Edo tensei can still go on. Since Kabuto's heart doesn't beat he's...dead.
Shirin feels the grin on her lips threatening to split her face wide open. This gives her just enough time to place the seal.
Killer B blinks upon realising his target is no longer in front of him. Pein feels confused before getting very annoyed when he realised what had happened.
Naruto was just plain confused but that didn't stop him from laughing so hard tears appeared in his eyes.
"Uchiha Shirin," Pein starts as closes his eyes, "why am I tied to a tree?"
The rope tying him to it was easily torn to shreds in mere seconds as he charges at Naruto who was still laughing but managed to dodge just in time.
She chuckled before facing B. "I don't need to fight you anymore." Shirin stated while waving her right hand in the air as if testifying to her free will.
"Great! We were once foes but now we're bros--" a fist connected with his face as the Jinchuriki flies into a tree, breaking it in half.
"That doesn't mean I'm not going to fight you." She deadpanned, feeling her eye twitch violently.
From the other side of the field the two Uzumaki continued their battle.
"Ah, this reminds me of the early days of the Akatsuki." Pein reminisces. "To your left, Naruto." He warned before going back to what he was talking about. "Everyone else was out on mission and -watch out from below- Juzo was injured so I had to accompany Shirin on a mission."
Naruto panted, a smile on his face. "That sounds like the beginning of one of Aunt Mikoto's bad jokes."
"Oh, if only." The elder would shake his head in amusement if it were possible. "Shirin hated the client on principle since they were -almighty pull!- a Jashinist, so the mission was doomed from the start."
"I feel like like Shika and Shirin would get along." He comments dryly. "Similar names, heirs who don't want responsibility and both of them hate Jashinists."
A friendship of the ages if it were ever allowed to happen.
The younger Uzumaki shivers. Maybe it's a good thing they've never met, the world (Jashin) couldn't handle that type of alliance.
Nagato felt his stiff lips twitch. "At the end of the journey, when the client thought they were safe and we got paid she said something I'd never forget." His hands finally grab onto Naruto as he begins pulling the boys soul out. "She said, 'No matter how immortal you are a good seal will always stop you'."
"And..." Naruto choked out, "did it?"
This time Nagato did smile upon seeing a giant light green structure charge straight for him. "Oh Naruto, it certainly did."
Chains from the susano latched onto him as his chakra sealed itself. His undead body fell limp as Naruto's eyes harden.
"Farewell, Naruto." And with that Uzumaki Nagatos' soul had left the world once more.
...
Sitting on top of a tree branch Shirin yawns while her youngest brother runs past her before immediately turning on his heel and facing her.
His eyes looked slightly mad as he breathed in heavily. "Shirin." He said breathlessly.
Outstretching her arms the elder yawns for dramatic effect. "How've you been baby brother?"
Sasuke squeezed his eyes shut before opening them, an eternal mangekyo spinning wildly in his eyes.
"What do you think big sister?" He spat out.
Aw, he's mad. Shirin can never take him seriously when he's mad.
The younger squints at her. "This genjutsu is strong."
Oh.
No way, he can't possibly--
Shirin feels lightheaded as a bout of laughter escapes her lips. Man, that felt so good to do without coughing her lungs out.
"My sweet, air-headed, foolish," and unfashionable, "little brother. Of course this is real life, have you not seen the undead shinobi littered across the battlefield?" She waves a hand around. "Why wouldn't I be back as well?"
Probably for the same reason Itachi didn't think his friends were dead for so long. Denial.
Sasuke's body shook from either wanting to cry or sheer rage and Shirin can't decide which it is.
Placing both hands on his shoulders Shirin applied some pressure to them as Sasuke continued to stare at her.
"I never got to do this, huh?" She grinned before poking his forehead. "It was the one thing I wanted to do before passing so in a way I'm thankful for this." Her smile drops. "That doesn't mean Kabuto is just going to get away with this."
At the mention of the silver haired man Sasuke scowls. "Tch, figures that bastard is the one behind this."
"You should get Shisui." Shirin suggests. "His mangekyo would counter the Edo tensei quite well."
He nods. "I see."
A terse silence befalls the two before Shirin embraced Sasuke.
"For what it's worth," she mumbled into his ear, "I've always wanted to do more. There was so much I wanted to do but I couldn't bare the thought of it."
Like stopping the kyuubi, or maybe stopping Rin's death.
Sasuke furrowed his brows. "Of what?" He whispered back, confused.
Her nails dug into his sides. "Of having hope for something better, of finally being able to move on."
And most of all, finally being able to forgive herself, letting her think she deserved peace for once in her life.
...
"Taro, Sumei." She greets while watching the fight from a distance. "How've you guys been?"
Judging by the long scar that ran along Sumei's face not good. Taro still looked fairly happy though, which is good because it wouldn't do if Shirin had to be the happy one in this trio.
The Hyuga sat down next to her while her head placed on the others shoulder. "I have fought off five assassinations this month alone." There was a pause before she cracked a smile. "So better than normal."
A snort threatened to escape her but she just about managed to smiled back.
Taro wrapped his arms around the two of them and Shirin could just feel the massive grin radiating across his face. "How's the afterlife been treating you Shirin?"
Pretty good all things considered.
"Awful." Shirin blurts out instead. "Don't bother coming down anytime soon, they don't have any mochi."
Don't die.
"I'm just glad we don't have to fight." Sumei slowly activated her byakugan. "When we saw you both me and Taro dreaded a battle but now that we know you're in control we..." she trails off but Shirin hears what she means anyway.
We're thankful.
"Sappy little shits." Shirin chokes out. "The only reason I'm not bashing your brains in is because of a seal I made like..." ten years ago "ages ago that lets Edo tensei's move about."
From behind her she can feel Taro freeze. "Don't tell me," he whispered in disbelief, "your eyes saw this as well?"
Not this time actually.
"Sure, not much though, otherwise things might've been different." Shirin lies like the lying lier she is. "But even so, when Shisui releases the Edo tensei I'll-" her hands begin to turn to dust.
Speak of the devil and all that.
A bemused look crossed Sumei's face. "You go back to hell." She finishes off confidently.
Shirin laughs. "Yeah sure, I'm in hell." Her laughter abruptly stops. "There's letters, they're basically my will. You can find them in the Uchiha stronghold, the one that-"
"You died in." A voice she hasn't heard in a long while rings in her ears.
"Mother." She greets, her arms completely gone as her legs go next. "And dear old father too." Shirin turns her head to see them.
Her mother looked as beautiful as always, Shirin obviously got her looks from Mikoto. Fugaku looked as though he hadn't slept in days, which knowing him was probably true.
"My baby." Mikoto rushes over as both Taro and Sumei gives them space. She wraps her arms around her torso as Fugaku follows suit not a second later.
Fugaku kissed her forehead, trying his best not to cry as Mikoto holds no such regards and sobs into her hair.
"For whatever comfort it'll find you," Shirin chokes out, "I'm sorry you had to lose a child before your own deaths." No parent deserves that.
Her body was almost gone now, that probably meant last words were in order. Shirin hadn't really practiced last words. Maybe she should've, there had been plenty of time.
A smile plastered itself across her face as her eyes bore into the mountain in the distance.
"This world is awful, but I'm glad you guys were my parents."
And with that, Uchiha Shirin had left the world once again, this time completely satisfied.
___________________________________
An: hope you enjoyed.