Gojo and I sit across from each other in the campus café. My hands are wrapped around the hot coffee in front of me, warming them. It's finally the end of summer. The air outside is now cool and biting and this is the first day I've had to wear a jacket outside. I love the change of weather, but I feel a little bad for Gojo because he only has the sweatshirt he wore to my apartment last night. He swore he wasn't cold though.
"How's the coffee?" He asks, taking a sip of his own.
"Really good," I grin at him. "Thanks for buying it for me."
It's strange. I feel like some lovestruck newlywed after last night. Like everything is a more bright and sparkly than usual. My mood is soaring.
"No problem," he says casually, a small smile on his lips.
"So..." I draw out the word. "The specifics of our...arrangement."
He nods. "Yeah. I told Geto last week after the whole Utahime incident. He thinks we're fucking idiots."
I snort, taking another sip of coffee. "Rightfully so, probably."
"But he's obviously willing to play along," Gojo says.
"Good," I nod. "The Lit. prof was trying to ask me about you in a really roundabout way in class the other day. It was so awkward. I guess the faculty knows now too."
"Yeah, they do," he sighs. "Utahime is a PhD candidate and super present in the English literature department. She's always been a gossip so it isn't very surprising. Everyone's been asking me about you."
"I thought you took her spot for the graduate program or something by? How is she still in the department?" I ask. It's still super unclear what happened between Gojo and Utahime...and Geto too. I think about the white-haired woman's words as well. I feel close to Gojo...but I honestly don't know that much about him still.
"Oh yeah, that," he rubs a hand over his jaw. "I forgot you were eavesdropping on that entire conversation."
I roll my eyes. "Whatever. Just tell me what she was talking about."
"She was in the same major as me during undergrad so I sort of knew her from afar...We met at a party one time and she was really interested in Geto. They went out and started dating. Everything seemed normal for a long time. I began to hang out with her more in class because she was always at the apartment and I was used to seeing her around. When grad applications came around senior year, we applied to mostly the same shit, but we both really wanted to stay here and do the same program. I think that's sort of where the resentment started. She would always ask me about my family and financing and how I was paying for school. It turned...weird, like a competition or something. I don't really know anything about her family, but she was always overly interested in mine. I heard from Geto that she would ask about my applications. And not just normal, general interest. It was like...what I wrote in my personal statement and she also asked to see my CV and shit. Geto was starting to feel uncomfortable too and he ended things. After that, she just openly hated me. She definitely blamed me for the breakup."
I digest his words. "She sounds like quite the psycho."
"She actually wasn't bad at all for the longest time. I don't really understand what happened. I didn't really care about competing with her. When I got into the graduate program here on the best scholarship, she was pissed. She and Geto had broken up by then, of course, but I heard from other people in the department that she talked a lot of shit about me and my family. She started rumors back then too about how I didn't deserve it and only got in because my family is well-off. I tend to not care what people say about me though. I let it roll off my back because it takes too much effort to get mad about that sort of thing."
Yeah, this is rich boy behavior for sure.
"I heard your family is like...really wealthy," I hedge, swirling my coffee around in my cup.
"Who'd you hear that from?" Gojo laughs.
I raise an eyebrow. "Hmm...answering a question with a question...a very suspicious way to respond. It was some white-haired woman in the building your office is in. She seemed to know an awful lot about you. And she was super pretty..."
"Oh, must have been Meimei," Gojo nods. "Yeah, I've known her since undergrad too. If you're jealous of her, don't be. Let's just say...I don't agree with the way she conducts her life."
"I'm not jealous, I'm just teasing you," I correct him. "She, on the other hand, was jealous of your money."
"Sounds like her," he sighs. "My family is very wealthy, that's true. No, I didn't need the scholarship to pay for school here like Utahime might have. But the work that I did during my undergrad is what earned me that. It was because of merit, not some sort of financial aid deal. I worked hard so it's difficult for me to feel ashamed or weird about it."
"Smart and rich," I nod.
"This is why I hate talking about my family," he sighs, leveling me with an unamused stare. "It becomes my entire identity."
I struggle to empathize with this. My family is absent, except for my brother. I never knew my dad and hate my mother. I try to understand the feeling of being self-conscious due to wealth and notoriety. I can't understand it.
But that's okay.
We come from different worlds, and I think that's okay.
"What're they like?" I ask. "Your family?"
Gojo take a sip of his drink. "They're...fine. I'm not close with them and really only see them for holidays when I go home. I don't have any siblings so it's just me and my parents. I think they're still pissed at me for deciding to study literature instead of business." He laughs tightly.
"What do they do?"
"They founded a big entertainment company when I was young. My dad was already rich from generational wealth and my mom was an actress. They sort of merged their knowledge and created the company together. Its success wasn't really luck though. They wouldn't have been successful if my dad didn't have the extensive resources to fund it at the beginning and if my mom didn't have her own set of social connections. They're very smart people...they're just not very...warm to most."
I frown, wondering what Gojo's childhood was like. Probably not terribly unhappy...but maybe a bit lonely.
"And you met Geto during undergrad?"
He nods. "Yeah, he was my roommate."
"Your roommate!" I exclaim, loving this scrap of information.
"Yeah," he laughs. "Inseparable ever since. I've been living with him for six years. Sometimes I go to his house over breaks instead of going home. It's...nice there."
I smile. His expressions is always so soft when he talks about Geto and I'm obsessed with it. Men usually aren't like that.
I think Geto might make up for his distant family. I think Geto is probably his real family.
"He seems like a really amazing guy," I say.
"He is," Gojo agrees. "He's always been better than me."
Interesting.
"In what ways?" I cock my head slightly to the side.
Gojo shifts, crossing his arms loosely. "He's just...kind. Like genuinely kind. In a way that seems like he doesn't even have to try. I'm not like that."
"Gojo, you're nice too. What are you saying?" I laugh.
"I can be nice, sure," he shrugs, "but it's not always my first instinct like it is for him. I have to remind myself to be patient a lot of the time."
"I see," I nod. "I'm like that too. I didn't really appreciate those naturally nice people until I met Elaine. Now I sort of just feel like a bitch all the time. Like I'm just colder than her in a way that's really obvious to me all of a sudden."
Gojo laughs. "Yeah, I've had years to come to terms with that feeling. It's okay though. We're friends with them for a reason and they're friends with us for a reason too."
"It's so odd," I swirl my coffee. "Friendships and stuff...Compatibility works in strange ways."
"I know," he says.
We look at each other for a moment as something in the air changes. I fight a blush off my cheeks.
I clear my throat. "So, anyways, how long are we going to be engaged for?"
He snorts a laugh, rubbing a hand over his face. "Never did I think this a conversation that I'd be having."
"Sorry, my improvisation skills have led us straight here," I say apologetically, but it's a little sarcastic, like none of this is really that serious.
"Yeah, thank you, Y/n," he rolls his eyes. "But I think maybe...the end of the semester we break it off?"
My eyes bug out. "The end of the semester? That's in like ten weeks, Gojo!"
I did not expect to drag it on that long. I stare at him with my mouth open in shock.
"Oh," he says sheepishly. "Sorry, I guess I didn't really think about it that much..."
"I mean, we can," I say, trying to read the expression on his face. I can't tell what he's feeling. Did I offend him?
"No, that's fine. What are you comfortable with?" His eyes are unreadable.
I purse my lips. It truly does not matter to me how long we keep this up for, I just didn't expect him to say that. I'm just an undergrad student trying to get through her last year. That's it. I just want to graduate and get out of here. I don't have a complex social network like him and can't quite grasp the pressures placed on him because of my improvised solution. Hell, if he needs until the end of the semester to convince everyone that we're truly in love and that we're truly getting married...that's fine with me.
I also have a crush on Gojo Satoru.
This fake engagement will force our proximity beautifully.
I think about how he used to emphasize the fact that there didn't need to be any sort of commitment between us and now...he's my fake fiancé until the winter under his own suggestion.
"Let's do the end of the semester," I smile at him. "I don't mind."
He raises an eyebrow. "Really?"
I nod. "Yep. It's fine."
He waits for me to say something else, reading the room correctly.
"But you have to tell me three reasons why you want to drag this out that long," I put my elbows on the table, leaning forward a little bit.
He leans back with a sigh, shaking his head slightly. "Of course I do."
I nod expectantly.
"Okay," he takes a breath, a small smile playing on his lips. "The first one is that I don't want people thinking that I'm going to mess up your grades on purpose if we breakup during the semester. Utahime would probably try to start some drama about shit like that."
I nod. That is actually smart and something I did not consider.
"Second, I want free bubble tea until the end of the semester."
I scoff, shaking my head. "Shut up. You're not getting free anything."
"And third..." He looks at me. "I think it'd be fun. Because it's with you. It'd be fun to see you more and fun to rub it in everyone's faces for that long. It'd be fun to go on a date with you and drag you to my stupid faculty parties to show you off. I think it'd be fun to play this role with you because, let's be honest, we work really well together."
I open my mouth. Then close it.
This plan makes no damn sense. We don't need to do this or drag anything on or act like we're really engaged for such petty reasons, but my heart is pounding like he just told me he loved me or something. There's something going on here, something real, but neither of us wants to say it like it is. He won't and I sure as hell won't either. This silly fake engagement is just an excuse to be around each other.
It's a dangerous game we're playing.
But I stare at his pretty face and I can't bring myself to feel worried or scared that this is a big mistake or will end in disaster.
"Okay, Gojo, at the end of the semester, let's call it off," I grin. "You've got ten weeks before I break your heart."
"Deal," he smirks at me.
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***Hey guys! Hope you enjoy the chapter. I actually just got my wisdom teeth out today so I'm in pain and on painkillers <3 I think everything makes sense in this chapter regardless of that, but if you find that my writing sounds all fucked up or something, just lmk and I'll fix it after I've recovered HAHAHA.
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR CONTINUED SUPPORT!!!