"Don't take what your mother said to heart, you know how she is when she's angry," Mrs. Kim said as she sat at the edge of the bed in Hayan's old room at the penthouse. Hayan lay curled up under the blanket quietly. She was shutting down again, just like she did every time she argued with her mother. She didn't want to talk to anyone at the moment but Mrs. Kim was persistent. She softly nudged Hayan when she didn't respond.
"Hayan, come on," Mrs. Kim continued. "Look, I made you fresh strawberry juice, it's still your favorite, right?" Hayan felt her place a platter on top of her and felt like a child being tempted by a toy. She didn't mind it, it was comforting, the thought of being treated like a child. She shifted under the blanket, hinting Mrs. Kim to move the plate off of her and as she did, Hayan sat up, the lilac blanket falling off of her. She looked at the glass in Mrs. Kim's hands then sent her an apologetic glance.
"Thank you." She said in a low voice as she took the glass. Mrs. Kim smiled but said nothing. Uncomfortable with the silence and unable to meet Mrs. Kim's eyes, Hayan chose to look around the room instead. It looked exactly how she'd left it when she moved into the college dorms at 19. Now that she looked at it as an adult, Hayan realized how much it looked like the room of a spoiled child. She was a spoiled child. She had never returned to it, the penthouse or her room, always making excuses about being busy with life. It was partially true and partially a lie because even if Hayan hadn't been busy, she knew she still wouldn't have wanted to come back. The truth was Hayan resented this place and the people inside even though a part of her knew that she should only feel gratitude towards them.
If it weren't for Mrs. Kim, she thought, she would have been in a completely different place, but then again, would she have preferred it? Would she rather be in a ruddy place in life than be around people she couldn't love properly even when she tried to? Hayan didn't have an answer.
She didn't love Mrs. Kim a lot, but Hayan knew that a part of her cared for her even if she didn't like admitting it. Despite her bitter feelings, Hayan believed that deep down she felt strong gratitude towards Mrs. Kim. Perhaps, that was why Hayan couldn't refuse when Mrs. Kim asked her to sleep over earlier that night. There was something about the way she spoke that even Hayan, who was always quick to say no, couldn't reject her. She had tried to make excuses, of course, she told Mrs. Kim about her plans of sleeping over at Sara's place, but Mrs. Kim insisted and Hayan was feeling way too emotional to be stubborn tonight.
"It would be fun like old times, we can have midnight snacks together, and there are some things I want to say to you." Mrs. Kim had said and she had sounded so happy about it that Hayan couldn't say anything back at all.
"I'm sorry for being so childish right now," Hayan said, her lips pursed as she gulped down the juice.
"You're not being childish, you're just upset." Mrs. Kim only smiled but Hayan wanted to break down. She had the kind of softness in her voice which a children craved in their mother's voice when they grew up in a broken family. Unconditional kindness, that's what Mrs. Kim was full of, and Hayan could never understand how she was so selflessly loving. A part of her wanted to be like Mrs. Kim and a part of her hated it, considering her foolish.
"I'll talk to your Mom so don't stress about it, okay? She might sound unreasonable right now but she'll understand," Mrs. Kim reassured Hayan, reaching out her hand to take the glass from Hayan as she finished the juice.
"I mean, does she really expect me to stay with her all my life? I'm grown up now, you know," Hayan sighed as she watched Mrs. Kim put the glass in her lap.
"I know, hun, I think your mother is having a hard time accepting that. You're her only daughter so I think she doesn't want you to be away from her. She's always been a little too overprotective,"
"Overprotective? Controlling, you mean?" Hayan said, her expression dropping.
"Hayan," Mrs. Kim began with an uncomfortable look on her face as if she already knew Hayan wasn't going to believe anything she said. "I know it might not feel like it but Milan cares about you a lot. You probably can't understand but I was there to see how broken your mother was when the doctor told her she couldn't have another baby after you were born. Even your birth was difficult and there were little chances of you surviving but somehow you did, and that was when you became her everything. She's loved you so deeply, probably a little too much. Trying to give you the best life possible, she's become obsessive,"
"Toxic love," Hayan mumbled, not loud enough for Mrs. Kim to catch the words. She didn't believe her mother loved her. Control or obsession could never be love.
"But when children grow up, we have to let them go and let them live their life however they want. I think your mother doesn't want to admit that she needs to let you go,"
"And you don't expect me to be understanding of that, right?" Hayan raised an eyebrow, looking displeased.
"Of course not. You have every right to be angry with your mother. That's why I offered to talk to her."
"Please do."
"I will," Mrs. Kim stated. "It's getting late so I'll leave you to rest now. I'm getting quite sleepy myself."
"Goodnight," Hayan sent her a smile as Mrs. Kim got up from the bed and leaned over to pat Hayan's head before making her way toward the door.
"Sleep well." She turned to tell Hayan before exiting the room.
~~~
If there was anything Hayan loved about growing up in the penthouse, it was Mrs. Kim's habit of leniency, something her own mother lacked. As she looked back on her time in the penthouse, she couldn't help but remember how Mrs. Kim raised her in a very unconventional way. There were no strict rules or curfews imposed on either Taehyung or Hayan. The house was like a haven of freedom for anyone living inside it. Mrs. Kim always made sure to avoid anything that would make a child feel controlled and bound to do certain things.
Instead of resorting to traditional discipline, Mrs. Kim had this unique tactic of making Hayan listen to her by saying things like, "I know you're a smart girl, so I trust that you'll do the right thing." And, "I know you'll do your homework because you don't want to fall behind." It was as if she believed in Hayan's inherent goodness and used that trust to guide her in the most gentle way possible. At times, it felt like a magical spell that compelled Hayan to be responsible despite being a problem child sometimes. That approach had fostered a sense of independence and self-discipline within her and she believed that it would have been a truly liberating way to grow up if only Mrs. Yeon wasn't there to ruin everything Mrs. Kim built in Hayan.
Hayan didn't like to think that her mother was mean to her intentionally, but she knew that as an adult she should have known better. The personality Mrs. Kim had tried to develop in Hayan had been forcefully distorted and twisted by Mrs. Yeon's horrible parenting and brutal remarks and Hayan had grown up with nothing but resentment for her for that reason.
As a child, Hayan had wished her mother was more like Mrs. Kim, and at times, she had resented Mrs. Kim for not being her actual mother. Then that feeling of bitterness had shifted toward Taehyung and she started hating him for having better parents. In the end, she foolishly grew bitter about everything.
After crying to Sara on the phone for an hour, Hayan had finally decided to leave her room when anger had replaced her sadness, anger that was directed at Kim Taehyung. Under the cover of darkness, she navigated through the silent house with soft steps. With nothing but evil on her mind, she headed for Taehyung's bedroom. She was still so angry at him. He had caused unnecessary drama knowing how Mrs. Yeon would react and he'd shoved Hayan into a scene she wanted to avoid at all costs. She wouldn't have had to hear her mother's hurtful words or cry if only Taehyung kept his mouth shut like she had requested him to.
Feeling frustration bubble up in her stomach, she twisted the doorknob and the door opened with a creaking sound like something out of a horror movie as Hayan tiptoed into Taehyung's room, her breathing slow and quiet. Moonlight spilled into the bland but neat room through the window, casting a soft glow on the floor and furniture. She scrunched up her nose in dislike, she could never understand why he slept with the curtains open. Hayan couldn't fall asleep if there was even a sliver of light in the room. But just like his personality, everything Taehyung did was distasteful.
Hayan's eyes darted to Taehyung on the bed, making sure he was fast asleep before she carefully closed the door behind her. She wanted to take revenge on him for running his mouth, but being the boring guy he was, there weren't a lot of things that meant a lot to Taehyung so she didn't know what would piss him off the most. But after some thinking, Hayan had remembered how sensitive he'd gotten about his sketches the last time she was in his room so she decided to ruin his sketches, assuming he would be fried about his wasted efforts. Every artist loves their art, there was no way this wasn't going to affect him.
She walked over to his desk and started looking through the drawers. In two different ones, Hayan managed to find scissors and the brown file Taehyung kept the sketches in. She opened the file and scattered the sketches over his desk. Since the room was only dimly lit, Hayan wasn't able to see all the sketches clearly but she recognized a few of her portraits that she had confronted Taehyung about. Pausing for a moment, she sent a hesitant but resolute glance towards him. He was still sleeping peacefully, not a single worry on his mind. It pissed her off. Hayan turned back around and reached for the papers, feeling a surge of anger and hatred coursing through her.
She took a pair of scissors and roughly cut through the intricate lines of Taehyung's artwork. The sound of paper being sliced softly echoed in the room, a bittersweet symphony of childish revenge. She wasn't thinking about the aftermath of this action at the moment at all, she just wanted to hurt him in any way possible.
When cutting them with scissors didn't feel satisfying enough, Hayan dropped the tool on the desk and started ripping the pages apart with her hands. A wave of conflicting emotions washed over Hayan, regret mixed with a sense of satisfaction as she watched the shredded pieces of paper accumulate on the desk and fall to the floor.
However, the sharp sounds seemed to disturb Taehyung, and as he stirred from his sleep, he couldn't help but notice the disarray in his room. He immediately sat up, groaning, as his drowsy eyes searched the room, trying to find the source of the noise. It didn't take him long to detect the very obvious figure of Yeon Hayan, standing near his desk with something in her hands. But just as soon as he had spotted her, she also sensed that he had woken up. He watched her turn around and their eyes locked, two angry orbs glaring into two confused ones.
"What are you doing in my room at this time of the night?" Taehyung asked as his eyes shifted to the clock on the wall, his voice was raspy due to having just woken up. It was 1:36 am.
"Nothing much, just doing my job as your karma," Hayan replied, nonchalantly waving the shredded paper in her hand around. Taehyung stared at her for a few seconds while the fogginess in his head slowly depleted, being replaced by a burning clarity of both vision and thought formation. His eyes widened in disbelief as he saw his cherished sketches torn and scattered on the floor, his confusion quickly turning into anger as the realization of what had happened hit.
"That's...no way...." He stammered out. "those are not my sketches, right...?"
"What do you think, Sherlock?" Hayan rolled her eyes.
"Hayan, what the hell did you do?!" Taehyung immediately jumped out of bed, dragging the sheets that were tangled around his leg with him.
"Exactly what you can see I did," Hayan curtly said. "and this is the same thing that I'll do to you if you ever ruin my plans again,"
"Are you insane?! Do you have any idea how hard I worked on them!" Taehyung's voice trembled with a mix of shock and fury, his eyes locked on his destroyed art.
"Well, I hate to break it to you but I don't give a damn." Hayan deadpanned.
"How could you..." Taehyung trailed off, his brows furrowing. "You're so fucking immature and impulsive, Hayan!" He shouted, bending down to pick up some of the pieces from the floor with an indecipherable look in his eyes.
"Oh, yeah? Well, since you know so much about me you should have kept your fucking mouth shut! You had no right to yap away about something I specifically told you to keep a secret!"
"It wasn't even that big of a deal and you ruined my most prized possession over that?!" Taehyung looked up, disbelief evident in his eyes.
"Wasn't a big deal? Or you're just insensitive?" Hayan scoffed, internally feeling hurt by the fact that he seemed so un-bothered. She had spent hours crying in her bed and it wasn't a big deal to him?
"Are you talking about yourself?"
"You know what your problem is, Taehyung? You think you're so much better than everyone else but you're actually just a rich bastard with a brick for a brain!" Hayan yelled as her fists clenched, crinkling the paper in her hand.
"If I've got a brick for a brain, what do you have then? Because the last time I checked, you barely graduated college and I've been an honor student my whole life." Taehyung retorted, standing up and crossing his arms.
That hurt. But Hayan would never let Taehyung see that.
"Well, too bad grades don't define intelligence because you've got none. On top of that, you've got no personality, you're worth nothing without those damn numbers!"
Taehyung's lips formed a straight line as he pressed them together as if he were suppressing himself.
"Why am I even arguing with a loser like you," he muttered in a lower voice, letting out a sigh. "Move. Give me those." He said as he took a step forward. Hayan hadn't gotten the time to trash all of his sketches so some of them were still on the desk, unharmed.
"No." Hayan moved in front of them stubbornly.
"I didn't ask you," Taehyung tried to reach out his hand to grab them but Hayan slapped it away.
"I. Said. No." She glared at him.
"I. Don't. Care. What. You. Said." He returned the energy, reaching out his hand once again but Hayan continued to be in his way. She could see he was growing frustrated with the situation.
Taehyung felt a growl come up in the back of his throat. They'd done this before. He made a quick jab at the sketches and managed to grab hold of two of them but Hayan gripped his hand and pulled it back, ripping the pages apart due to the force being applied in opposite directions.
"Hayan, quit it!" Taehyung shouted, panicking as another one of his pieces was destroyed before him.
As the tension between them escalated, Taehyung and Hayan were soon in the process of pushing and snatching at the sketches, their bodies colliding with each other in the chaos.
"Let go of it!" Hayan screeched like a feral animal as she pulled at the pages.
"Fine. You keep them then." Taehyung suddenly let go, resulting in Hayan to stumble backward. A soft gasp escaped her lips as her back hit the desk behind her and the scissors that were lying dangerously close to the edge fell over and dropped on Hayan's left foot. She yelped in pain, the sketches slipping from her hands and falling to the floor as she immediately bent down, grabbing her foot.
"Oh shit, are you alright?!" Taehyung also dropped down to the floor instantly, both of them forgetting about the sketches as Hayan rubbed her throbbing toe. "Did you get hurt?" Taehyung panicked, placing his hand on top of hers to move it away from her foot. He felt relieved to see that there was no injury. Surely, he had suddenly let go of the sketches on purpose to catch her off guard, but he didn't want her to actually get hurt. He just hadn't noticed the scissors on the desk. His expression softened, his earlier frustration dissipating, as he gently massaged her foot with his thumb.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to—" He began apologizing but before he could even finish his sentence, Hayan grabbed the last few sketches and ripped them in one swift motion. Taehyung's mouth hung open, frozen midway through a sentence. Before him sat the most unbelievable and unserious woman he had ever seen in his life and he hated that he was genuinely about to apologize to her.
"You're seriously not worth my sympathy," Taehyung said after a few seconds of silence. "That's it, get out of my room." He added as he retreated his hand and stood up. Years of his artwork were gone, ruined, and he couldn't do anything about it now. The best he could do was tape the pages back together, but considering how tiny Hayan had shredded the pieces in, it was not going to be an easy job.
She was evil, he was definitely going to cry about this later.
"Don't act like I wanted to be in your room in the first place, it's your fault I'm here," Hayan snapped, standing up. The pain in her toe was already fading away.
"I've heard enough," Taehyung said wearily as he grabbed Hayan by the arm and started walking towards the door, dragging her along with him.
"Hey, let go of me! You can't just drag a person like that—" Hayan whined but being physically inferior, she was kicked out easily. Taehyung made sure to slam the door in her face and lock it.
"I hate you!" She screamed at him, kicking the door.
"The feeling is mutual!" Taehyung's voice resounded from the other side of the door followed by the rustling of sheets, indicating that he was getting back in his bed, leaving to pick up the mess on his floor for tomorrow.
Hayan didn't feel much better but at least she had gotten her revenge. Taehyung was going to sulk about this forever and that was all Hayan needed. She walked away, thinking that she could finally go to sleep now.
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A/N: It's a boring chapter :(