-Natalie's POV-
I sit back on my chair on the porch as Diana sits on the grass with Lilah making Daisy chains while My Mom is inside making sandwiches, I tried to convince her to let me help but she slapped my hand away and told me to find my wife.
My family is all here except Zack, of course...Jane and Beck also came over along with some man Jane is supposedly seeing, Michael or something.
I watch Diana carefully doing something with the daises before she sets a small Daisy crown on Lilahs head making Lilah smile widely.
"Perfect." Diana smiles and Lilah stands quickly.
"I have to go show my Mom and Dad." She runs over toward the stable where Carson, Anna, Ellie and Camila are.
Diana flattens out her dress as she kneels up.
She glances over to me doing a double take before she pushes herself up, walking toward me.
"Natalie." She smiles walking up the steps.
"Diana." I return the smile before she sits onto my lap.
"You having fun?" I question and she smiles nodding.
"Are you?" She asks and I reach down to the floor holding up a book.
"I am, I was reading till I got distracted." I set it back down.
"By what?"
"By you." I pull her closer, kissing her. Her hand goes to my cheek and she smiles against my lips.
"Oh, get a room." I hear Beck and Diana pulls back from me wiping her mouth quickly.
"Sorry—Where's Jane?" Diana stands as Sadie runs out of the house. I sit back crossing one leg over the other.
"Sitting at the countertop talking to Isabelle like a child, Michael keeps groping her though." Beck rolls her eyes and Diana shifts a little.
"Do you like him?" Diana questions beck.
"No. Not one bit."
"Me either. He makes her happy though." Diana peaks inside the house just as my Mom steps outside.
"Sandwiches." My Mom motions inside.
"I'm alright—"
"Natalia, get inside and eat. Call your brother and sister. I will not let the food go to waste." She says, Diana and Beck begin laughing as I stand shutting my mouth.
"That also goes for you two, get inside. I have glasses of water set out, it is too warm to not be having a water on hand." My Mom raises her voice, giving out as I walk down the steps and toward the stable.
"Nat." Camila says and I hum opening the gate, I shut it behind me as I walk toward the open stable.
"Mom is summoning us all for sandwiches and water." I tell them and Carson laughs.
"Come on before she threatens to ground me." I turn around.
"Sadie!" I whistle for her as she runs around the grass. I don't want to leave her out her on her own incase she's runs off into the forest.
I walk back up the steps and inside as I fix my red flannel which Diana bought me, I'm not the biggest fan of it but I haven't worn it yet and I know she thought I would love it.
"Jesus, Nat, how much of a nerd are you?" Caleb questions and I glance back over my shoulder as he looks inside the book room, I roll my eyes.
"I've written a few of them, did you know?" I ask stepping up beside him as I too look inside, it's a small room but the wall directly across from the double glass doors is completely a book shelf, as well as the wall to the left, the wall to the right has a window. There's two armchairs in here with one leg rest. Diana loves spending her evenings in here while I'm writing, she forces me to keep my office across from this room open...Just so every few minutes both of us will look up and meet each others eye, she of course starts laughing and looks away. She's adorable but I ignore her and go back to work.
"Haha." Caleb rolls his eyes walking past me, I smile following after him.
"Natalia." My Mom calls.
"I'm here, Mom, relax." I sigh and she glances to me, my eyes widen as I look away quickly.
"That girl will be the death of me." Mom speaks up and Diana laughs as well as Beck as they sit at the counter. Carson, Anna, Lilah, Ellie and Camilla all go to the table sitting down where my Mom of course set out more sandwiches.
"How's the wedding planning going, Nat?" Anna asks from the table and Carson glances to me, my Mom pushes a plate closer to me and I ignore it going to the fridge.
"It's going, we have all the big things done except the cake. We need to get the marriage license and our rings and we should be almost finished then." I speak while grabbing a bottle of water.
"Your dress is beautiful, Diana. It really suits you, maybe Natalie will finally show some emotion at this wedding." Camilla speaks up, Ellie laughs beside her and I roll my eyes. We both went and got our outfits for the wedding last week on Diana's birthday, she begged me to go with my Mom and Tatum then come home and relax. I wanted to take her out for dinner but settled for buying her too many flowers and her favourite snacks. She also wanted no gifts but of course me being me, I spoiled her some way.
"I haven't seen your dress, show me." My Mom says to Diana who gets her phone out, walking around the counter to my Mom quickly. I haven't been allowed see this dress but from what I've heard she looks like a Disney princess.
I walk closer as Diana shows my Mom who smiles before looking to her, Diana glances to me, moving her phone to her chest.
"Back away." Diana warns and I step away with a sigh. I hear Ellie gasping a little.
"She listened." Camilla whispers and I roll my eyes.
"My my, you are the boss of this house, aren't you?" My Mom asks Diana, I scoff as Diana smiles.
"Her attitude doesn't work on me." Diana says, very proudly. She's not wrong either.
"It worked on Olivia." Ellie chimes in and I rub my hand over my face. Of course, the mention of the ex wife.
"God...Oh, Diana, I forgot to send you those photos I found at Moms place of Natalie when she was a baby. I messaged you about them." Camilla says as Diana puts her phone away, my Mom again, moves the plate closer to me. I sigh picking up a sandwich.
"Why are you two messaging?" I question before taking a small bite of the sandwich.
"They're planning to sleep together on your wedding, obviously?" Ellie speaks up and I put the sandwich down as I look at Ellie.
"Do you want a smack on the back of that big head of yours?" I question and I'm the one who receives it instead, I move my hand quickly to the back of my head.
"Do not hurt your sister, you are older you should know better." My Mom says and Camilla, Ellie and Carson begin laughing. Lilah does too and I bite my tongue.
"Gilipollas." I mumble as my Mom walks to the sink and they laugh again, I smile a little and Diana looks confused.
"What the hell is a gilipollas?" Diana tilts her head at me, my Mom looks to me quickly.
"Natalia."
"It was Ellie." I laugh running back outside quickly as I hear my Mom giving out to her.
✺
-Diana's POV-
"What if there's crabs!" I jump back as Lili pulls my arm.
"Stop being a baby, come on—"
"There's sharks, Lil—I'm gonna call Natalie—she will side with me." I say and Lili glances back up the beach to where Natalie, Victoria, Tatum and Maria are. Victoria and Natalie are surprisingly getting along and Tatum is surprisingly not being a dick. She went to rehab, she got out last week. She looks...better, more put together than usual.
"Natalie is stuck in a conversation with Victoria—they look really good." She says and I glance back, Natalie's laying back on the blanket, she's wearing a bikini just like me but I got her into a blue one instead of her usual black...Her boobs look amazing...she's also got a tan over the last two months, her stomach has become very toned especially since she's been forcing me on long walks.
She has her sunglasses on and her hair back in a low bun, her chain around her neck. I took mine off since I'm planning on going in the water at some point and I didn't want to lose it or anything to happen to it.
Victoria is in a black one piece, it has v neckline which goes down quite a bit and exposes a lot...she's wearing sun glasses too but her hair is down.
Victoria glances to us before Natalie.
"Fuck." Lili hits my arm before we both run into the freezing water—we both got caught staring now we're running like idiots into freezing water.
I squeal as I keep running despite how cold it is, I dive beneath the water—I splash the water as my body gets shocked by the cold. I stand again quickly, moving my hair back as Lili begins laughing. I keep moving on the spot as I shiver.
"Oh my god! It's freezing!" I say and Lili drops beneath the water, splashing me. I jump back, I move my wet hair back as Lili quickly rises from the water.
"That is cold!" She shivers and my teeth chatter as I hug myself as I waddle like a penguin.
"Let's go deeper, we will warm up once we get used to it." She shivers and I walk slowly through the water, there's other people in here too who seem to be just fine.
I begin to feel warmer and stop hugging myself.
"Okay—okay, it's fine, I'm fine." I say and Lili splashed me, I gasp splashing her back.
"Idiot!" I give out and she cackles falling back before standing up again, the water just below my breasts.
"Watch out!" I hear a shout and I glance toward the shore to see a beach ball coming towards me. I jump out of the wall, hitting into Lili quickly as the ball lands in the water.
"Jesus Christ, Man." Lili says, I step away from her picking up the ball as the guy who shouted walks in the water.
"Sorry, that was my fault." He says and I hand him the ball before looking back to Lili but her eyes stay on where he was standing...meaning he's still there.
I move my hand in the water, glancing back to him.
"It's okay..." I shrug, looking away again.
"I'm Aaron." He holds out his hand and I look at Lili, why does he need to introduce himself...I said it was fine?
"Okay, it's fine, Aaron—"
"I can buy you a drink—"
"I'll buy her one." Lili wraps her arm around my shoulder pulling me closer and I press my lips together.
"No, please, I nearly hit you in the face—it's the least I could do." He says and I huff.
"Thank you, really, but it's okay." I tell him, I grab Lilis hand walking us closer to the shore.
"I would have taken a drink." She says and I stop, elbowing her and she jumps back.
"Ow!"
"Shut up." I huff, walking along the hot sand, closer to Natalie as her head is now in a book. Victoria notices me walking closer and looks back to Lili.
I stop at the end of the blanket by Natalie's feet, I'm blocking the sun so she lowers the book.
"Hi, pretty girl." I smile, moving to lay down beside her, she grabs her bookmark before closing her book.
I put my hand on her stomach before pulling back after feeling how hot her skin is.
"You are roasting—"
"You are all wet, get the hell away from me!" Victoria shouts at Lili who laughs.
"Come into the water with me—"
"Do you know how dirty that water is, have you lost your mind?" Victoria questions and I laugh, slowly resting my head down against Natalie's chest.
"God, you're such a pussy, no fun." Lili kicks some sand onto victorias legs, she springs up glaring at Lili.
"You alright? Who was that man you were talking to?" Natalie whispers to me and I glance up at her.
"Your head was in that book, how did you know I was talking to someone?" I ask quietly as Victoria and Lili go back and forth.
"I know everything." She smiles at me and I press my lips to hers for a small kiss before pulling back.
"He nearly hit me in the face with a ball, he offered me a drink but I declined." I tell her and she hums.
"We can't even come to a beach without someone trying to take you from me." She sighs and I laugh a little.
"Not even the tide is strong enough to take me from you." I whisper, fidgeting with her chain.
"You're cute." She kisses my head as Victoria gets up chasing Lili away. I laugh a little.
"We should get married sometime." I tell Natalie and she kisses my head.
"How's December sound?"
"Fantastic, it's like it's already happening." I say and she laughs.
✺
I grab the bag and box from my car shutting the door with my foot before balancing everything so I can lock my car.
I shove my keys into my pocket as I begin walking through the car park, only a few cars parked outside the gates.
My heart races, I'm ready. I've been doing good lately—really good, this is something good—it's not bad. I'm trying to think as positively as I can right now—like how Natalie's book is getting released next week.
Still, I stop at the gates suddenly not being able to move.
I take a breath as some people walk towards me, leaving, I quickly step aside for them. A woman offers me a small smile and I return it.
I take another breath, inhaling slowly before exhaling.
I cried three times last week which I think is good, I've thought about him almost every second of everyday but I've handled it well. I'm proud of myself for not giving up. I think he would be too.
I step inside the gates quickly. Not feeling anything different—it's okay.
I begin moving one foot in front of the other, I know where he was laid to rest, Cindy told me.
I walk along the concrete as my heart begins racing, I'm fine. I'm ready, I finally have the courage to bring myself here and it's okay, I'm a little nervous but I'm okay. Everything is okay.
I walk along the grass, slowing as I see his name carved into a headstone. Seeing it, his name, his birthdate and his death date carved into the stone shatters me a little.
I already feel the tears begin to form and I smile wiping them away.
"Already making me cry, you asshole." I roll my eyes to myself as I bend down, setting the bag and box down before I sit down on the grass looking at the flowers and decorations on his grave.
I don't know if he can hear me—maybe somehow he can, but I need to speak with him as if he can hear hear me. I won't get a response but maybe something inside me will thank myself later on.
"This is awkward—I don't know what to do, there's people around and if they see me they will probably think I'm crazy." I kneel up, fixing a little wind spinner as it spins despite there not being much wind. I sniffle slightly as a tear falls—I'm not sad—that's a lie but I'm not crying because of that—It just took a lot to come here and being here and seeing it is much different than I thought it would be.
"I'm sorry I didn't come sooner, it's hard, you know...leaving me here all alone while you are probably in heaven, hopefully happy. Life has been crazy in the last eight months. I don't know if you know about it because I can't really understand what happens after death." I straighten out some other things, a son statue with a little poem on it and other nephew things and angel statues.
"Okay well, after you left, Josephine came to stay with me and Natalie. You're my best friend and I can't see you anymore so I thought I could at least have a friend in Josephine—it wasn't the case though...She kissed me, I bet you're gasping if you don't know this." I laugh before it goes quiet, I take a deep breath, not being able to hear the gasp or see his reactions which I know would make me laugh.
"Um...Yeah—then she left and I got a job—I met Lili. You would really like her, Charlie. She reminds me of you." I say before I stop, embarrassment heating my cheeks as I begin sobbing.
I'm not ready.
"Diana?" I hear my name being called and I look behind me quickly to see Kai, holding a white box in his hand.
"Kai—oh my god—I'm sorry." I wipe my eyes quickly and he shakes his head, walking closer.
He sits down beside me on the grass and I don't stand, I look at him instead while tears fall.
He comes here?
"Don't apologise—I'm surprised to see you here, we haven't bumped into each other yet—I come everyday." He sets the box down on his lap and I begin sobbing more.
"You come here everyday?" I sniffle, my breath hitching.
"Yep...Sucks when it's raining and muddy."
"It's my first time—I haven't been able to bring myself here—clearly I'm not ready." I try take a deep breath—but my breath hitches again.
"You will never be ready. You just have to come here and let the emotions overwhelm you for a second because they always seem to anyway." He says, rubbing my back gently, I look at him sniffling.
"I miss him so much, Kai, I really just want a hug from him." I whisper and Kai meets my eye, a tear falls from his.
"Me too."
"I'm sorry, Kai. I really am, I shouldn't have let him—"
"Don't. Please. He would hate it. You blaming yourself when nobody else does. This was nobody's fault." He speaks so sweetly to me and I get a steady breath, hoping to get another.
"Why does nobody blame me? I hate how that sounds but it was my fault."
"It wasn't your fault."
"It was though. I let him drive, do you not understand that?"
"And if you didn't, you would be in the drivers seat, you would be the one gone and still—it would not be your fault." Kai says and I sniffle.
"I heard you're getting married, that wouldn't happen, it would be your friends and family grieving. Your soon to be wife grieving you, be grateful you get to live because some people are taken too soon, for reasons unexplained." He tells me.
"I'm sorry."
"For living? Or not wanting to?" He questions.
"I don't know." I look back to the head stone.
I take a long moment to take a deep breath and reach her the bag, pulling out the small butterfly statue I bought. I gently set it down at an empty spot, running my finger along the details in the wings.
"That's beautiful."
"I know, he's my butterfly—I think he's yours too." I sniffle, sitting back and admiring it.
"That's a nice way of thinking about it." Kai says quietly and I glance to him before her lifts the top of the box on his lap.
"I brought it so I could sit here and cry while eating it, I always bring spares." He hands me a fork, I laugh a little picking up my own box lifting the top.
"Great minds think alike." He looks at the birthday cake in my box and he laughs.
"If he was here, he would eat these both to himself." I say and he nods laughing again.
"Definitely and he would not apologise for giving either of us none, it's his day after all." Kai speaks and I nod smiling.
I reach back to the bag pulling out the candles and lighter.
"I forgot candles." He says and I open the packaging handing him the number two candle and the lighter I brought.
"I'll light the one." I say opening my candle, sticking the number one candle into the cake, he would legally be able to drink today—he would definitely complain about drinking no longer being fun. I was going to bring a big bottle of something but Natalie convinced me not to because I'm driving and it wouldn't be good for me obviously.
I watch him light his candle before handing me the lighter, I light my candle looking down at the cake as it glows.
"Happy birthday, Charlie." Kai says before blowing out the candle, I watch the smoke from it before looking to Kai. I watch as he stares at the cake, more tears falling.
I blow out my candle in silence, I dig the fork into the cake, taking some before eating it.
I hear Kai begin to sob and I scrunch my nose, my heart aching because of it. I wish they had some more time together, I wish Charlie could back for a day and be with Kai, not even me. He was going to ask him to be his boyfriend, I can still see that happy look in his eyes. He found his soulmate and he got taken before having the chance to admit his love to him.
I told Kai at the funeral, but Charlie never got the chance to. He never got the chance to do a lot of things—the things he didn't believe he could do which he could. His time was cut short and it's something I will spend forever remembering, as well as the time I had with him. I will forever be grateful I knew Charlie because he was and always will be my best friend. No matter what.
"He definitely hates us for this, bringing cake and sobbing." I whisper and Kai nods shutting his eyes.
"Christ—I know. He would slap me if he could and tell me it's okay and stop being an idiot. But Jesus Christ it's hard to pretend like everything is okay constantly. I don't know how long I can be brave anymore." Kai says looking up at the sky.
I reach over taking his hand, I thread my fingers with his and squeeze.
"Nothings okay about this. It never will be. But, we can be strong together. He would and definitely does want us to be there for each other and I'm afraid—I've been afraid to reach out. I've distracted myself every single day, I don't think I can do it anymore but I will. He's our butterfly, a very beautiful one who's probably flying around somewhere more beautiful than we can imagine." I sniffle and Kai let's go of my hand, pulling me into an awkward positioned hug. I move the cake off my lap as I begin crying, he does too.
We both sob about the man we loved most.
A/n
This is Pearl impulsively publishing a chapter which is definitely a mess with mistakes and everything but it's fine.
I actually just wanted to post this chapter to talk about evermore for just a minute. (Completely optional to read obviously.)
So...I will finish evermore, I'm not going to disappear I promise. But there's not a lot of chapters left before the ending either. I can't promise the best and most detailed chapters to come because of a shit ton of reasons.
I'm also just asking you guys to be a little more patient with me, I know it's like "Pearl hurry the fuck up we want chapters!!" but unfortunately Pearl is not doing too great. I will be okay, so you will still get chapters just maybe not as fast as I promised. Maybe one chapter a week which is really annoying, I know and I will try my best to get a second if I can I'm just aiming to close this story off by Easter despite how much I wish I was in the spot to write more chapters about these two. 🥹🫶
I do have the chapters mostly written so it's just editing and stuff, I will go over this chapter in my free time and edit it better.
As well as the chapters I'm going to post after this one, I will make them better when I get back on my feet with a steady balance to me.
I hope you're all doing amazing, my loves!!
<333