I yawned, watching the makeup artist pounce the beauty blender into my skin as she applied my wedding makeup. "Tired?" The makeup artist smiled gently while still blending the foundation smoothly into my skin. "Yeah." I muttered, still looking at myself in the mirror.
"I know i said you didn't need beauty sleep, but that didn't mean stay up all night!" Vivi yelled at me from across the room. I giggled, god i fucking missed my best friends. I felt as if i had began to go so long with out them, i was starting forget them. As time passes and memory fades, i noticed the little things going first. But as soon as i saw Gemma and Vivi's faces this morning, every moment we spent together came rushing back. I had been so caught up with being in love and saving mine and Tom's lives, i hadn't realized how much my heart longed for their companionship.
Gemma made her way over to my side, wearing a matching bridesmaids robe with Vivi. "Why so tired Fran?" She raised her eyebrows and wiggled them around. I leaned back in my canvas chair, stretching my arms and trying to hide the small smile begging to adorn my face. "Just couldn't sleep." I murmured.
"Yeah, couldn't sleep cause she was..." Vivi opened her mouth and rolled her eyes in the back of her head. My jaw dropped as she screamed, "OH TOM!!" I picked up my water bottle that sat atop the makeup artists stand and threw it in her direction. She and all the other girls erupted into laughter, my cheeks turning bright red. "NO!!" I shouted. "We've never..." I shook my head, trying to keep my embarrassment at bay.
"NEVER!?" Isabella screamed. I shook my head no watching as shock over took the girls faces. "What if his dick is small?" Vivi blurted out making the makeup artist chuckle as she applied my false lashes. "VIVI!" Gemma smacked the back of her head. "Sorry." Vivi muttered under her breath and shrugged her shoulders.
"Oh, it's not." I said under my breath, watching the makeup artist apply the final touches of my soft, yet perfect bridal makeup. That's when i noticed it. A small light shone through the window, dancing on several surfaces. I looked around confused but the girls were stuck on what i had just muttered, not even noticing the small reflecting light that ran around the room.
I looked out the window of the church, noticing a blinding light emanating from mine and Tom's bell tower. "Uhh, I have to go to the bathroom." I excused myself and got up from the chair. "Uhm, no you don't missy. What did you mutter under your breath!?" Gemma's jaw was dropped as she stared at me from the couch she sat on across the room.
I ignored her and made my way down the hall and out of the wing of the church. I tried not to run, afraid i would mess up the beautiful updo and makeup i spent hours getting done this morning. My short white silk robe fluttered in my stride as i walked quickly through the alley way of the church making my way towards the abandoned bell tower i had come to fall in love with. I finally reached the door and ripped it open. I couldn't help but jog up the stairs in my white feathery slippers that matched my bridal robe.
"Took you long enough." Tom grinned at me, leaning against the arch top windows frame. I had insisted on having our wedding at the church Tom's grandmother grew up in. Despite his many... and i mean many, offers to have our wedding at the most breathtakingly magnificent chapels across the globe, I had always had my heart set on one.
It only felt right for us complete our union in the place it all began. The many sleepless nights and kisses shared under the broken roof of this old bell tower would always prevail over things his money could buy for me. This is the place our thousands of meaningful words stitched our hearts together, bonding us for many lifetimes to come.
"Apologies, my Don." I sauntered towards him, my hands tucked together behind my back. I traced over his freshly done braids that caressed over the tops of his shoulders. The aroma of his aftershave wonderfully taunting my nostrils and taking my mind to places i had never been. He hadn't yet changed into his tux, which i was grateful for. I wanted it to take in every detail i could the moment the doors opened and i walked down the aisle. His white t shirt hugged each and every muscle in a way that made my breath shutter. I bit my lip, begging my mind to make my stomach stop doing flips within my abdomen.
He reached out, tracing alongside my face with his thumb, the light cascading into the tower glistening off the silver watch adorning his wrist. I felt the burning of his stare as he pushed up my jaw, examining my face. "My beautiful Dona. You have no idea the life i have planned for you." He muttered. His words did nothing to ease my nerves, but instead set a fire of passion burning deep within me. My bottom lip fell open slightly letting him push against it with his thumb, my gaze finally deepening into his.
Since i was a little girl books and words were all i had ever known. They were a way i could finally understand the things i felt and the things that i craved from life. But with Tom I felt as if words would never be enough to show him how vastly i loved him with all my heart, with all my soul, and with all my being. Instead of letting my mind fumble over words that would never amount to enough, i stepped forwards and hurriedly pushed my lips onto his.
His mouth embraced me perfectly, his lips caressing me in a way i had always dreamed of being held. He began to nibble at my bottom lip while my hands found themselves around his neck, pulling me further into his hypnotizing touch. Between breaks in our kisses he murmured, "I think it's bad luck to kiss you before the wedding."
Breathlessly, I shook my head. I gripped my fingers around his chin, guiding his lips back to mine to meet once again. I deepened the kiss, letting my mind wander places it usually didn't dare to go. "Fuck luck." I whispered, quoting him from the night before. I could feel him smile into my mouth, pulling me deeper into his embrace by a hand that snaked around my throat.
***
I closed my eyes hearing the faint notes of the piano echo through the massive room on the other side of these oak double doors i now face. I breathed out slowly, attempting to slow my heart that hammered around my chest as i twisted my fingers through the light blue ribbon that wrapped around the bouquet of flowers i held.
Something old, something new, and something blue. Something old was Tom's grandmothers ring that still sat snuggly around my ring finger, awaiting him to take it off and replace it with a ring i had not yet seen. Tom had spent months designing me a perfect ring for our perfect day, actually taking two trips to Paris to pick the perfect diamond. Something new was the five sterling silver bracelets that adorned my right wrist. Each bracelet signified the people i kept closest to my heart and was designed to remind me specifically of each chosen loved one.
And lastly, something blue was the ribbon that was tied in a pristine and almost too perfect to be real bow around my bouquet. When our belongings were moved into the master suite i helped move some things into storage in the attic. While left alone on that warm summer evening, i found a box with the twins name on it. Beneath the plastic lid i found Tom's christening gown from his baptism when he was just a baby.
The solid white gown, turning a soft yellow from its years in a box had a blue ribbon tied around the waist. I felt a tug in my heart, a deepening connection with this seemingly insignificant piece of fabric that i didn't quite understand. It wasn't until my dream a few nights ago that i began to understand. In my dream, the light was almost blinding as it streaked through the windows of a fabric shop. I squinted and rubbed my eyes to settle my vision and that's when i saw her. I saw the twin's mother, picking white fabric and light blue silk ribbon. She had hand made their christening gowns. I knew from that moment my late mother in law was sending me my something blue.
I stood alone behind these doors, not a person by my side to walk me down the aisle. Though Bill had gladly offered and i almost accepted, i decided to do this all on my own. My father was dead and Leo was... well in honesty i wasn't really sure where Leonardo was but... i didn't care. They didn't deserve to walk by me in a moment like this. They didn't deserve to know me as Francesca Kaulitz the Dona of New York. The little girl inside of me hurt for the thought of not having my father to give me away, but the woman inside of me was elated at the thought of my father, where ever he may be after his life ended, would be furious that i was marrying Tom.
I tried to press my shoulders down, forcing myself to relax and release the tension i hadn't realize crawled its way up my spine. I wondered what Tom thought of the makeup painted on my face. I wondered what he thought of the tighter than usual curls in my long dark hair. When he envisioned me walking down the aisle, was this the dress he imagined? Would every detail that i planned live up to everything he had always hoped for?
When did it get so hot in here?
The double doors swished open, the cool air rushing past my delicate skin and sending a river of chills down my body. My eyes slowly traveled up the aisle through the sheen veil that covered my face and i begged myself to look up from the floor as i began my walk. The bottom of my pearl white gown swished across the tips of my toes that lie covered by my pale nude Louboutins.
The satin dress latched onto my petite frame perfectly as if it were glued to my body. Every curve and dip in my figure, enhanced and shaped to perfection by the thick white material. White long sleeves fitted down my arms, two thin pieces of fabric looping around my middle fingers, pasting the fabric to my skin.
No lace, no jewels, no frills but somehow from the moment i laid eyes on it, i knew it belonged to me. My sisters and friends cried 'it's too plain' but their pleas went in one ear and out the other. It was timeless, it was elegant, and best of all... it was me.
My steps almost faltered, bringing me back to the present moment. I tightened my jaw, feeling my teeth chatter together with nerves. 'Slow down!' Gemma would yell at me in my rehearsals, but i couldn't i felt like i needed to walk faster, i needed to get down this aisle as fast as i possibly- thats when i saw him.
My Don.
Time slowed. My heart that thumped around my chest like a bird in a cage finally calmed, resting against its perch. My stride evened and believe it or not, the room finally stopped spinning.
One at the end of the aisle i handed my bouquet to Bella, my maid of honor who stood right beside my place at the alter. Vivienne and Gemma both passed sweet smiles towards me as i turned to face my groom. I could see Bill's teary eyes watching me from behind Tom, his adams apple bobbing up and down as he suppressed a cry. Georg patted him on the back with a barely audible chuckle while Gustav stood there with the cutest grin i had ever seen.
As soon as i faced my future husband, the rest of the room seemed to fade. For all i cared, it was just him and i, forever. His lips pushed back a smile that i could tell wished to be set free and untamed. A dimple in the side of his right cheek was contoured by light emanating from the stained window above the alter.
But his eyes... they weren't deep enough for me to dive into as they normally were. No, this was much different than what i had ever seen from him. His eyes, they twinkled and glimmered with tears that brimmed his lower lids. "i love you." i mouthed silently, watching his smile blossom from within.
His fingers traced the bottom edge of my veil, next to my navel and began to lift the thin tulle to expose my radiant beauty.
Ding.
Ding.
Ding.
A deep sounding bell rung three times from right outside the building.
I gasped ever so slightly, startled by hearing what i thought i never would. He studied expression, biting his lower lip as his eyes wandered with delight. "You fixed the bell?" i whispered as the officiator began his introduction to our friends, family, and mafia brothers and sisters sitting amongst the pews of the church. "Anything for my Dona." His whispered back, tucking the rest of my veil behind my head. When i had met him in the tower just a few hours earlier, i had failed to notice the new bell that sat in the old ones place.
It was never the big moments with Tom that made me fall for him. It wasn't the hundred thousand dollars that he threw at NYPD for my sake. It wasn't the armies of men he had patrolling me at all times for my safety. And it wasn't even the city he managed to claim his own just for chance to marry me and make me Dona. Don't get me wrong they were all key moments in the story of us, but it was always the little things that made me fall madly and intensely in love with Tom Kaulitz.
It was the stolen glances that if caught would surely have lead to either of our demises, but he couldn't pass them up. It was the way he left when i asked him to, even though his heart wished to be near mine. It was the way he caught me when i fell for him and never made me second guess his everlasting love for me. It was the way he designed me a heart of gold with his initials because he knew my love for him would always be pure. It was the way he fixed the bell, ringing it in this exact moment, just to see the expression on my face.
"Tom if it's in your heart, please repeat after me." The officiator turned to him with a small smile tugging from the corner of his mouth.
"In the name of God,
I, Tom, take you, Francesca,
to be my wife and Dona,
to have and to hold from this day forward,
for better for worse,
for richer for poorer,
in sickness and in health,
to love and to cherish,
until we are parted by death.
This is my solemn vow."
Tom repeated after him, his wording dripping slowly off of his lips like drizzles of honey. His eyes teetered between mine and my lips that i bit together, doing anything i could to keep myself from bawling. He made sure to enunciate each and every syllable, making sure every word was sincere.
"Francesca if it's in your heart, please repeat after me."
"In the name of God,
I, Francesca, take you, Tom,
to be my husband and Don,
to have and to hold from this day forward,
for better for worse,
for richer for poorer,
in sickness and in health,
to love and to cherish,
until we are parted by death.
This is my solemn vow."
Though i could feel my knees trembling underneath my dress, my voice was as smooth as velvet. I had practiced these words many, and by that i mean hundreds of times in our bathroom mirror. But when i said them to my reflection staring back at me, they meant nothing. They were empty promises to the wrong person, but that all changed when the words were said to the right man.
'to love and cherish, until we are parted by death. This is my solemn vow.' Meant everything to promise as a Dona. I would live by him, i would die by him. And not one single ounce of me regretted that promise.
Tom took my hands in his, dragging his rough and calloused thumb over the back of my hand.
"Francesca,
I choose you.
I chose you the first moment i met you.
I will choose you today, i will choose you tomorrow, hell, i'll choose you in my next lifetime.
My entire life has been shrouded in unsureness. I have been and always will be unsure of what the next second will bring as i reign as Don.
But i have never been unsure about loving you. So if you will allow me, I'd like to spend the rest of my days, caring for you, loving you, and worshiping you as the mother of my children and my Dona.
And by the words of Darcy 'In vain I have struggled. It will not do. My feelings will no longer be repressed. You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you.'"
By the time he recited the words i had read dozens of times when Darcy finally confesses his love to Elizabeth, i was bawling. Tears flowed like rivers down my cheeks, but i no longer cared about the makeup. All i cared about was the burning passion his love set alight within my soul.
"Tom,
From the first moment i locked eyes with you, i knew my life had changed forever.
I cursed Jane Austen for giving me these ideas about love that i thought i would never be able to have. But every waking moment of every day, you make me feel like no Darcy ever could. Every day i wakeup and find a million new ways to fall in love with you all over again.
We both fought relentlessly for our time to be together forever, and now it's finally here. So heres to forever and always with you."
Tom's bottom lip turned white as his teeth dug into his skin. His eyes enormous and round as that of a puppy dogs as tears welled up in his bottom lids.
"Tom, place the ring on Francescas's finger and repeat after me,
Francesca, I give you this ring as a symbol of my love with the pledge: to love you today, tomorrow, always, and forever."
Tom stepped closer towards me, removing the ring from his inner suit pocket. The massive diamond caught the ray of light and glimmered against my eyes. My mouth dropped in astonishment as i spotted the canary yellow diamond surrounded by pristine white round diamonds beside it. Now i truly understood why he personally collected the ring from Paris and escorted it back to the states. This ring could make the crown jewels jealous. The sheer weight of the piece practically dragged my little ring finger to the ground. I knew it was about my turn to speak, but i couldn't pull my eyes from the magnificent beauty in front of me.
"And now...Francesca, place the ring on Tom's finger and repeat after me:
Tom, I give you this ring as a symbol of my love with the pledge: to love you today, tomorrow, always, and forever."
Isabella tapped me on my shoulder and handed me his thin silver band, which i hurriedly took and spun back around to face him. I repeated the words slowly, looking into his eyes so he knew i meant every single word. I slipped the ring onto his hand, my breath shuttering at how stunning he looked as my husband.
"And by the power invested in me by the state of New York, i now pronounce you husband and wife, you may now kiss the bride." The officiator said as he stepped away from us.
Tom's expression became more serious as his bottom lip tugged into his mouth, his tongue wetting his lip before popping it back out. His hands hurriedly reached forward, like he couldn't get his hands on me quick enough. His left hand lacing behind my neck, the cool touch sending shivers down my back exposed by my form fitted dress. While his right hand tugged at my hip, i noticed his eyes clouded with hunger as his mouth rushed towards my lips. I breathed in shakily, more than ready for his lips to be pressed snugly against mine.
And at last our lips crashed together, colliding our worlds as one.