Selfish Love

By DiamondKulture

2.3K 82 42

College life of Five students isn't all that it seems. To ordinary people they're just your regular college s... More

A/N
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chaoter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25
Chapter 26
Chapter 27
Chapter 28
Chapter 29
Chapter 30
Chapter 31
Chapter 32
Chapter 33
Chapter 34
Chapter 35
Chapter 36
Chapter 37
Chapter 38
Chapter 39
Chapter 40
Chapter 41
Chapter 42
Chapter 43
Chapter 44
Chapter 45
Chapter 46
Chapter 47
Chapter 49
Chapter 50
Chapter 51
Chapter 52
Chapter 53
Epilogue

Chapter 48

18 2 0
By DiamondKulture

Jordan

A week earlier

I never thought Judy would use her powers on Andre, I didn't even think she could.
I mean he was her boyfriend, but she did and I never intended for her to, especially not because of me.

She has something beautiful going on with him and whatever it is we have, was nothing, just something we both couldn't resist, that's all.

I have been trying to call her since she left my place that day but she isn't picking up or returning any of my texts

Truth be told, I never thought we would go this far, the first time we had sex, I wanted it to be a one time thing, I'm not gonna lie, Judy is a very attractive girl and it'll take a very strong will power to resist her.

I never should have touched her, if I knew it would go this far, if i knew I wouldn't be able to stop, I never should have started in the first place.

Whenever I'm close to her, I can't resist her, or stop myself
There's just something about Judy that I can't quite put my finger on.
With Jack it's different, but Judy makes everything so complicated and easy at the same time


She wants me to love her and care for her and treat her like Andre does but I can't, I can't do it.
It's not that I don't want to, but i can't bring myself to do it.
I'm too scared to let myself go for her.

I lied, I lied when I said I could never feel the way she feels for me for her, actually there's a huge possibility that I can fall In love with her, and that's what I'm trying to avoid.

I can't have Judy like that, not when I know how much Andre loves her, not when I can see clearly that he's the right choice for her.
I'm not

Everytime I'm with Judy, I can't seem to be bothered about any other thing.
It's like everything else doesn't matter but I can't tell her that.
I'm afraid of feeling that way for her.

If it's anything, I don't deserve her.
I'm bad for her in everyway.
I was the reason she used her powers on Andre, she erased his memories to protect me, and it doesn't make me feel any better


I keep thinking what will happen if Andre ever found out that I was having sex with Judy, or that she erased his memories because of that

I ran my hands through my face and sighed out, I heard a knock on my door and I got up and walked towards it, I wasn't expecting anyone today.
I stopped in front of the door and gently opened it.

Sam was standing on the other side and he didn't look one bit happy
"Sam" I called and the next thing I knew, his fist connects with my face.

I groaned almost falling but I'm quick to catch my balance, I looked up and he was glaring at me
"What the hell man" I voiced out cleaning the blood from my lip.

He walked inside shutting the door and he threw another punch, but thank God I was expecting this one, I grabbed his fist and twisted it, I could hear the cracking sounds of his bones.

He groaned and grimaced, his face contorting in pain, before he tried to hit me with his other hand, I dodged it but let him go in the process

"What's the meaning of this"? I asked and he just clenched his jaw, not saying anything
"I don't wanna fight you Sam, but I will" I warned

"Is it true"? He asked breathing hard as he tried to hit me again, I bent down and grabbed him from the waist trying to contain him.

"Is what true?, You have to specific Sam" I muttered panting hard, he hit my back with his elbow making me groan out in pain as my knees came in contact with ground

He pulled me up by my collar and made me face him
"You and Judy" he snapped and my eyes grew wide in realization

"How did you...."? He cut me off with a punch to my nose

"Son of a bitch" he growled as his fists kept hitting my face, I could feel my eyes gets swollen and the metallic taste in my mouth

I hit his hands with both of mine and he let go, making me stumble back.
"Sam...." He cut me off

"Shut up Jordan, I never expected this from you, I didn't think you could do something like this to Andre" he spat before his legs came flying to my face, I grabbed it and flung him to the side of the bed.

He hit hard and fell to the ground with a loud thud, he groaned and tried to get up.

"At least let me explain myself" I almost yelled, he scoffed and spit out blood

"There's nothing to explain Jordan, you know how much he loves her and yet you would do this to him" he yelled before lunging towards me with full force, I was faster than him and he knew that, so I grabbed his hands and held it behind his back, while I held his neck in a tight choking grip

He struggled to get out but I didn't let go, not until I could feel his strength leaving him

I pushed him away and he stumbled and almost hit his face on the bedframe before he balanced himself, he was panting and so was i.

I let out a long and huge breath
"I didn't mean for it to get this far" I breathe out before plopping down close to him.

My room was already a mess from the fighting.
He was sitting with his knees up and so was I, with our back on the bed frame.

My face was bruised badly and there was still taste of blood on my tongue.
I wonder how Sam got to find out about Judy and I, if he knows then Andre already knows.

We were both breathing our panting coming to a stop, Sam didn't look any better than I did, only his face wasn't bruised up like mine

"Judy and I...." I sighed out pausing for a while ".... didn't start out like this, I didn't intend for it to go this far, trust me Sam I never meant to hurt anyone" I explained looking ahead.
"I hated Judy, infact for a long time I disliked and hated her guts, and then one night, one night all that changed, a change I didn't expect" I paused remembering how it all started
"One night we had sex and that was the beginning of this rollercoaster, and before you asked it started way before she started dating Andre" I muttered "I tried Sam" I said lowly swallowing the lump in throat "I tried so hard to stop but I couldn't, even after I realized Andre was in love with her, I wanted to stop but I couldn't" I whispered feeling my voice break, I quickly cleared my throat.
"You can hate me all you want Sam but I'm sorry, and I know Andre probably hates me right now, hell I would hate me" I muttered chuckling at the end.

"Do you love her"? He asked his voice coming out hard but soft than when he just came, I froze at the question.

Do I love Judy?
Am I attracted to her? Yes.
Does she make me do crazy things? Yes
Do I wanna love her? Definitely no
Do I love her???

"I don't know man, I mean I can't even answer that, I'm not the one for her, I don't deserve her, I can't give her the happy life she deserves, there's only one person who can do that, and it's Andre, not me" I whispered looking in between my legs

Sam suddenly got up and dusted off his body, he looked a lot more composed than when he just came.

"You should put some ice on that" he muttered pointing to my face and I just sighed and nodded
"Sorry about the mess" he muttered gesturing to the state of the room and I just shrugged.

I watched him walk towards the door and my voice stopped him
"How is he"? I asked and without looking back he answered

"Broken" he muttered before walking right through the closed door.
I sighed out and relaxed my head on the bed frame.


Present Day

It has been approximately one week since I had that fight/conversation with Sam.
I have tried to reach out to Judy but she isn't picking up, not returning my text

I wanted to speak to Andre but I wanted to talk to Judy first, she deserved my apology more than anything else and I also need to clear the air about a few things.

I was standing in the dark part of the house as I watched her trying to talk to Andre, the whole place was bubbling with music and people screaming and cheering, so I couldn't even hear what they were saying even if I tried

It was one if those stupid house parties, I didn't think I'd find her here, but Sam specifically told me she'd be here.

I haven't spoken to Adrianna since they all found out about Judy and I.
Sam was the only one I still talked to

I didn't need a soothsayer to tell me that the conversation wasn't going any better than it should.
Andre had a hard glare on and I could see the sadness in her eyes.

I clenched my jaw just watching them
After a while of watching them, Andre tried to walk away from her but she pulled his arm back, but he pulled away harshly and walked away from her.

I watched her until she left and went upstairs then I followed her, I followed her until she went into a room, I followed behind her and entered into the room

The moment I closed the door, she flinched and turned around to look at me, she didn't look surprised at all but she looked pissed.

I had missed her so much
My palms got sweaty upon seeing those fiery brown eyes.

I cleared my throat and walked towards her
"Judy...." I whispered and she cut me off

"What are you doing here"? She asked but quickly added "you know what don't answer that, Everytime you do, it doesn't end well for either of us, me especially" she spat out before trying to walk away from me but I pulled her back

"I just wanna talk to you that's all" I whispered

"I don't wanna talk, please Jordan just leave me alone, I don't wanna do this now" she muttered, frustration lacing her voice

"I'm sorry" I whispered and she looked at me with shock

"Why? You didn't do anything" she muttered out

"I did a lot, and I'm sorry Judy, you didn't deserve what I put you through and shit that I made you do, I manipulated you and I had no right to" I muttered and she chuckled dryly

"You didn't do anything, my feelings did all that, you were just a vessel that it used"

"And I took those feelings for granted Judy and for that I'm sorry" I whispered, she didn't say anything and I took that as a cue to keep talking.
"There's something I wanna tell you that I should have said a long time ago, but I was too much of a coward to" I mutttered

"Jordan don't" she whispered swallowing hard

"I love you Judy" I muttered, I could feel my heart race, I had never said this words to anyone, not even Jack
But it was true, I was in love with get already and I tried for a long time to pretend and like to myself that I didn't feel that way for her, but it wasn't helping, I was only hurting her and myself

"Don't" she gritted out

"It's true Judy, I am in love with you, and I think I have been from the very first time I kissed you, but I was too afraid to let myself feel that way for you and because of that I pushed you away and hurt you countless times" I whispered.

Her eyes grew dark in anger and she took a step close to me
"You're not gonna ruin this one for me, not this time" she gritted out before trying to walk out on me but I pulled her back, I didn't realize she wasn't putting on her gloves until I felt her hands wrap around my forearm.

It felt warm, unusually warm.
"Stay here and don't even think about following me" she mutttered before pulling away and walking out of the room.

I wanted to follow her but I couldn't, it was like my legs and body had a kind of their own.
I wanted to move but I couldn't move a muscle I just stood there and watched her walk away.

She used her powers on me, and I don't blame her.
I think I deserved it, for all the shit I put her through.


😗😗😗

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