I breathed a sigh of relief early Sunday morning when I saw the familiar shape of Xav lying on the dirt path, waiting for me with his eyes closed.
His ears twitched when he heard me coming towards him, but he didn't move another muscle or looked at me while I made my way towards him. He didn't even flick his tail in greeting, and I couldn't help but wonder if he was mad at me or if he was only dozing, enjoying the cool ground underneath his fur.
"Xav?" I asked, my voice barely above a whisper while I stopped a few feet away from him, my heart pounding harder in my chest. "Are you ok? Are you mad at me?"
Xav didn't say a word. He took a deep breath before he let it out and opened his eyes and slowly blinked, lifting his head.
I rubbed my hands together nervously and bit the inside of my lips before I shifted on my feet and cleared my throat. "Well, are you?" I asked, and he snorted and closed his eyes while he laid his head on his paws.
He wasn't mad, but he was tired.
I furrowed my brows and frowned, not liking the fact that he was tired. "Why are you tired, Xav? What happened? Did you not get enough sleep?"
Xav didn't respond but beckoned me closer to him, and I instantly went to his side. He wagged his tail in greeting finally before I breathed a sigh of relief.
I sat down and buried myself against his side, leaning my head on his back. "Where is BryBry?" I asked, and Xav groaned in annoyance, and I couldn't help but grin amused.
He said that he was at home, and Xav wanted to be alone with me.
I bit back a small chuckle before I nodded and then grew serious. "Did you stay here a lot yesterday?" I asked, concerned.
He shrugged and said that he didn't; he knew that I wasn't going to be home at all that day, and I couldn't help but raise an eyebrow in question.
"How did you know that I wasn't going to be here at all?" I asked, and Xav stilled slightly before he opened his eyes and looked at me.
He looked guilty before he whined and closed his eyes. He didn't say a word, but I could tell that he didn't want me to question him further.
I pursed my lips in annoyance but sighed and ceded while I slowly nodded. "Fine," I grumbled. "I won't push you, but I hope you know that I don't like it."
Xav chuckled softly and nuzzled my shoulder, and I smiled a little and closed my eyes.
"I was with my group for most of the day," I said randomly. "However, my mother wanted to go shopping beforehand." I wrinkled my nose and pursed my lips in annoyance. "I didn't like it."
He chuckled again and flicked his tail while he waited for me to continue.
"I met Bryson's dad yesterday, though," I said, and my cheeks turned slightly red while my heart skipped a beat. "He was handsome."
Xav opened his eyes and looked at me. He wondered what I thought about Bryson's dad and if I liked him.
I sighed and moved a hand through his fur, the sparks appearing at the base of my fingertips. "I liked him," I admitted, "and I think my mom does too. She kept trying to push me on him."
Xav snorted and closed his eyes again.
"I don't know why, but that is what she was trying to do." I sighed and moved a hand across my face before I shook my head. "He's closed off though, and for some reason I don't like it."
I paused and shook my head again while I sighed again. "I think he is scared of me finding something and doesn't want me to be afraid of him."
Xav whined and asked if I would be afraid of him, and I wrinkled my nose and shook my head.
"Oh, no," I said. "I won't be afraid of him whenever I find something out. I do want him to tell me what's going on and everything and be open, but I have a feeling that's going to take him a long while."
Xav snorted and stayed silent, letting me talk. He wagged his tell slightly, and I could tell that he was relieved.
I closed my eyes before I sighed and shook my head. "He kept looking at me," I said randomly and my cheeks turned red before my heart skipped a beat, "while we were eating together with Bryson and my mom. I think my mom wants me to be with him for some reason. She kept pushing me on him." I wrinkled my nose and pursed my lips in disgust. "Even though he could be my father because of his age."
He snorted again.
I sighed and moved a hand through my hair before I shook my head and cleared my throat. "I don't know," I said. "I think there is something between us, and I don't know what it is."
A memory tried to take over but was blocked for some reason, and I couldn't help but grimace and groan while I rubbed my forehead, almost toppling over.
Xav whined and moved just a bit so that he was able to look at me. He whined again and nudged my side, and I pushed him away slightly.
"Don't, Xav," I said, my voice barely above a whisper. "I'm fine. It's fine."
I lied; it wasn't fine. I had no idea what this was and why I was feeling like this, but I knew that Xav wouldn't be able to help me, not yet at least.
Xav whined again, and I could tell that he didn't believe me. He pushed his nose against my forehead, and I couldn't help but lean against him. He wanted to know what was wrong, but I didn't want to tell him with the people gathered.
"It's fine, Xav," I said and rubbed my head. "Gimme a minute. It'll subside."
He asked if it had happened before while he pulled away, and I couldn't help but chuckle and slowly nod.
"It has," I confirmed before I cleared my throat and licked my lips. "That's why I know it'll pass soon."
Xav whined again before he slowly nodded and backed off just a bit. He watched me with wide eyes, and I could feel his fear and worry as if he thought something bad was happening to me but didn't know what.
"Xav," I groaned. "Stop worrying. I'll be fine."
The pain slowly ebbed away, and I could finally breathe and relax.
Thank, Goddess, I thought and closed my eyes.
Xav whined before he nuzzled me again. He asked if I was ok now and if I was still in pain, and I shook my head no.
"It stopped," I said with a sigh of relief before I looked at him. "It happens sometimes, so I am used to it." I chuckled coldly before I shook my head and grimaced. "I wish I could talk to my doctor about it, but he is out of state."
He whined and nuzzled my shoulder, glad that I was better but praying that it wouldn't happen again.
If only it were that easy, I thought while I pursed my lips and bit back a small sigh.
"So why is BryBry at home and not here?" I asked, changing the subject, praying that he wouldn't keep pushing me. "I thought he would be following you again. I miss him."
Xav scowled and narrowed his eyes. "Hrmph," he said, and I bit back a small smirk, amused because he was jealous of his son.
"Come on, Xav," I teased while I leaned against him. "He is my friend. I like BryBry, not as much as I like you, but I like BryBry."
Xav snorted and rolled his eyes while he scowled. He huffed but didn't say a word.
I bit back a small chuckle before I moved a hand through his fur. "Why are you so jealous of him?" I asked and raised an eyebrow. "He's your son."
Xav grumbled before he moved his head closer to me. He admitted that he didn't want BryBry to be on my mind while he was with me, and I bit back a small smirk.
"Hmph," I said while I shifted closer to him. "Well, you are going to have to learn to share," I teased, and Xav groaned, annoyed. I closed my eyes and sighed. "But you will be the one that I turn to if I have problems or something."
Xav wagged his tail and felt pleased, and I bit back a snort but rolled my eyes.
"Very funny, Xav," I teased. "There is no need to act so pleased because I would turn to you faster than to your son."
Maybe more so when you are human...
I buried myself closer to him and sighed, closing my eyes and slowly started to relax. "I will be starting cross country races here soon," I said, changing the subject. "Do you think you can watch me compete in them?"
Xav whined apologetically and nuzzled my arm. He couldn't, but he would be rooting for me every step of the way.
My heart ached, and I couldn't help but press my lips into a thin line while my heart broke slightly. "Oh," I said before I cleared my throat and shifted a little. "Ok."
Xav whined and nuzzled me again. He didn't like it that I was upset and apologized for making me sad.
I smiled a little before I shook my head. "It's fine," I said. "I know how stupid it was to ask, especially since you are a big ass wolf, and they're not "normal" perse. There would be a lot of questions, especially coming from my parents."
Xav chuckled softly and didn't say another word. He closed his eyes and sighed, enjoying the peace that I gave him.
"It'd be cool for you to have technology that would allow you to be there and not be seen," I said randomly. "No one would have to ever know that you were nearby, watching us and cheering us on."
"Hmph."
"I'd know though; I'd always know if you were there or not."
Xav opened an eye and looked at me. He wondered how I would know, and I smiled and shook my head while I zipped my lips, silently indicating that I wouldn't tell him.
It would allow the tree people to know too...
And, I didn't want them hiding from me if they ever found out that I knew they were there, protecting my back like always.
Xav huffed and closed his eyes again. He was annoyed but not surprised that I wouldn't tell him, and I grinned, amused.
"If it makes you feel any better, Charlie doesn't know either, and he knows a lot about me." I pursed my lips in annoyance and dipped my head closer to my chest. "He knows more than I'd like to admit."
Xav chuckled and asked if Charlie knew my deepest and darkest secrets that I never told anyone.
I looked away from him, and my cheeks turned red. "I am afraid to ask," I admitted before I cleared my throat and shifted on my butt. "There is a very good chance that he does."
Xav cocked his head and asked what were my secrets, and I again smiled and shook my head.
"Not tellin' you, Xav," I said, and he scoffed and rolled his eyes while he scowled. "Just know that I am sure Charlie knows. I am not sure how he knows them, but I know that he knows them."
"Hmph." Xav was displeased that I wouldn't tell him but didn't try to push, much to my relief.
I sighed and took my phone out of my pocket to look at the time. "I am going to have to go..." I said, solemnly, "even though I don't want to."
Xav whined and asked where I would be going.
"To the warehouse to train," I replied, "and explore and hang out with everyone." I shrugged and grimaced. "I want to see if I can't get into some trouble today and force someone else to get into trouble with me too."
Xav chuckled and asked who I would ask to get into trouble with me.
"Possibly Sergio," I said and shrugged. "Then there is this newbie named Thames, so I might ask him, but I don't think Commander would like it if I scared him off just yet."
Xav chuckled again and nuzzled my shoulder. He asked when I was going to leave, and I sighed, my heart aching slightly.
"Now," I said with a small groan, "even though I don't want to." I rubbed his side, and he whined before he asked me not to. "But I have to," I said and shook my head. "I'll see you again tomorrow morning."
He whined and asked me why I wouldn't see him again this afternoon.
"Because I will be staying there for almost the whole day. It's why I didn't visit you last night."
Xav groaned a little before he nodded. He asked if there would be a chance that I could spend the weekend with him, and my cheeks turned red while I looked away from him.
"I'll see," I promised and nodded. "It might have to be a day thing though because I still want to train with my group in the evening."
Xav breathed a sigh of relief and slowly nodded. He nuzzled my shoulder and shifted, indicating that it was time for me to stand, and I couldn't help but groan.
"Fine," I said while I pouted and stood, and he stood up too. "I'll see you tomorrow morning?" I asked.
Xav nodded and nuzzled my cheek as if to give me a kiss. He promised that he would see me tomorrow morning, and I smiled and closed my eyes while I patted his cheek.
"I'll see you later, Xav," I said, my voice barely above a whisper.
And with that, I walked away without a single glance back, leaving my heart behind.