Narrator
"Umm, I'll be okay," Haerin lied to Y/n for the second time that week.
First, she lied about Grandma being okay. Second, she lied about her having bad grades.
"Well, I'll be home this weekend. So, I'll help you catch up!" Y/n tried to be optimistic.
- Y/N POV -
"Heyyy!!!" I tightly hugged Haerin as I walked into the house.
"We're matching!" Haerin squealed out.
I had sent her something from The University store, just like I had promised, and even bought a matching one for myself.
"Mhm, the hoodies are so comfy, huh?" I asked Haerin in return.
Haerin probably had over 12 of My University hoodies by now, but she always wore them all. There wasn't a single hoodie that she didn't wear or that she didn't let go of.
*COUGH*
*COUGH, COUGH, COUGH*
*COUGH, GOUGH*
I heard painful coughing coming from the bathroom and quickly rushed over to check on Grandma.
"Oh my god!!" I started to panick when I saw blood all over the sink.
I knew Granma was sick, but I didn't know she was this sick.
"Okay, let's go! We're going to the hospital right now!" I sternly ordered Grandma.
She was a stubborn old lady. Always refusing to go to the doctors. Always saying she had better things to do than to be told she was dying.
"I'm old. I'm dying. It's what old people do!" She tried to shush me away.
"She's been throwing up blood, soiling herself, and fainting throughout the week," Haerin suddenly spoke.
I looked at her a bit shocked.
I knew Haerin had been lying to me throughout the week, but I couldn't believe she had kept such things from me.
"WHAT?! And you can't say this shit over the phone?!!!?" I started to get a little aggravated.
I talked to Haerin on the phone everyday, yet she failed to inform me of the blood and the fainting spells.
"Y/n, she's just a kid!" Granma yelled.
I bit the inside of my cheek and exhaled deeply. All I wanted to do was yell at Haerin, but Grandma reminded me that Haerin just didn't know any better.
Haerin grew up lost and easily susceptible to deception. It wasn't her fault that Grandma would lie to her and it wasn't her fault that she grew up to trust what her elders said, regardless on if they were wrong or right.
This was how I ended up with my Grandma.
It was one thing to be an adult capable of standing up for yourself, but it was another thing to be child who had to trust that the adults around you were doing what was best for you.
"Fine, let's go to the hospital," I huffed out to my Grandma.
"I'm sorry I didn't tell you," Haerin shyly coward into a corner of the bathroom.
I just ignored her and tried to help my grandmother into my car.
"Where are you going?!" Haerin started to cry as she saw us getting in the car.
"Haerin, just shut up and get in the car!" I ordered, a bit frustrated with her.
I knew that Haerin sometimes had the mentality of a lost 5 year old or that she regressed really bad when she was triggered, but it was tiring in times like this.
"Okay," Haerin lowered her head and walked into the car.
- Haerin POV -
"I'm sorry. We did everything we could," The Doctor coldly told Y/n.
Y/n and I had been in the hospital for almost 24 hours now.
It seemed like Granny was actually a lot sicker than she made it seem.
"Y/n, where are you going?!" I started to cry when I saw Y/n just walk out of the hospital.
"I know it's hard, but she's in a better place now. Just know we did our best," The doctor tried to tell me.... But I didn't care.
I cared more about Y/n just walking out of the hospital.
"WHERE ARE YOU GOING?!" I started to get even more panicked as I saw Y/n start to walk towards their car.
Y/n didn't respond and I ran after them.
Just before Y/n could get in their car, I finally managed to wrap my arms around them.
"Don't leave me!" I cried out.
Y/n didn't say anything and I began to cry even louder.
"PLEASE!!!!" I screeched out in pain.
I could feel Y/n's whole body expand and retract.
"PLEEEEEASSEEEE!!!" I screamed.
"SHUT UP!!!!" Y/n suddenly pushed me off.
- Y/N POV -
I felt really bad for yelling at Haerin, but I felt angrier that I could've done something if she hadn't lie.
I could've helped her.
I could've have dropped everything to run to her aid. I would have dropped everything to help my grandma. I would've done anything to show her that I love her and she meant so much to me.
In my world, Grandma was always there for me.
Grandma was the one to be there when I couldn't remember where my parents had gone. When I couldn't understand why my mom left me for someone else.
"Okay," Haerin whimpered under her breath.
I took a heavy breath and let it out to calm down.
"Let's go back inside. They probably need paperwork and stuff," I sniffled out.
I didn't want Haerin to know that I was crying or that things hurt. She had enough trauma as it was....
She didn't need to see me cry.
"Come on," I grabbed her hand to drag her into the hospital with me.
It took a few hours, but the painful process of declaring my Grandma dead and doing paperwork for her hospital bill was finally over.
"Just go home and we'll take care of it!" The nurse at the hospital told us.
I looked at her a bit reluctant, before hesitantly walking Haerin out of the hospital.
Haerin didn't seem too comfortable with my actions all night, but what did I care. She was just something extra I had to worry about during this stressful time. She was just a dazed thought in the back of my head at the moment.
"Just go in your room for now," I told Haerin.
Haerin looked at me a bit confused, but nodded in response. She walked over to her room and left the door ajar.
"You're not going to leave right?" She whispered from behind her bedroom door.
I sighed out in frustration and shook my head in response. "Just close the door, I'll be right here. I just need some time for myself, okay?" I tried to reason with her.
I knew Haerin felt scared that I might just run out and leave her once she closed her bedroom door...., but as much I wanted to do that..... I knew I couldn't.
"You'll come get me if you're going somewhere, right?" Haerin peeked her head through the door.
"Mhm," I hummed out in response.
- Haerin POV -
The last 24 hours had been very sad.
Y/n had been doing their best not to cry and I could see that. It was really heartbreaking.
I was doing my best not to cry myself, but I couldn't help it. I was worried about what would happen to me now that Granny was gone. I had no one left but Y/n.....
And Y/n had to return to school soon.
"DAMMIT!!" I could hear Y/n throwing things around the house.
"Stupid old lady! Did you not care for me enough to not want to live longer?!" Y/n was huffing and puffing all around the house.
I wanted to do something to comfort them, but Y/n wanted me in my room for a reason.
I always felt like a burden when it came to Y/n.
Y/n did all these things for me. They made me feel loved, protected me, and did everything to make me smile....
But I knew I couldn't do the same.
Sometimes, it felt like Y/n knew that I didn't understand what was going on in life. That I was just doing my best to make everyone around me feel like I didn't need anything. It felt like Y/n knew that I was just as lost as I was as a kid....
And that scared me.
I didn't want Y/n to think that I had no idea what I was doing in my life or that I wasn't capable of moving on from hardship.
"FUCKING DAMMMITT!!!" I heard Y/n yell, before it sounded like something shattered against my bedroom door.
I started to get really worried and quickly opened my bedroom door to check on Y/n.
"No, no, no. Don't come out. You're gonna get hurt!" Y/n suddenly rushed at me.
I was so thrown off by Y/n's actions that I backed up into my room in a panic.
"Are you okay?" I asked once I noticed Y/n red puffy eyes.
"Yeah," Y/n sighed out.
I knew Y/n had been crying. I could hear it through the door. But, the way Y/n looked was much worse than I had imagined.
We had only been home for less than an hour and Y/n had been crying, cursing, and throwing things the entire time.
"Are you okay?" Y/n tried to force a smile, checking my hands and feet for any injuries.
I didn't give them a response. All I could focus on was the mess outside my room. There were bottles, papers, pans, and even spices all over the floor. There were broken things everywhere on the floor... even Y/n's school laptop...
"Haerin-ei, are you okay?" Y/n asked.
Y/n only called me that when they felt really bad for me.
"Are you okay?" I asked again.
Y/n just smiled at me and shook their head, but there was a tear running down their cheek. So, I knew I had to step up and comfort Y/n....
Just like they had always done for me.
I took one step forward and wrapped my arms around Y/n's neck, pulling them into a hug.
"It's okay. It's okay to cry," I whispered in Y/n's ear, rubbing their back gently.
"Haerin," Y/n tried to pull away from me.
"Shush, it's okay. I got you," I held Y/n a little tighter.
"She's in a better place," I was trying to use those words to comfort myself too.
"But, I don't want her to be!" Y/n suddenly became heavy in my arms and their voice got shaky.
"I don't want her to be in a better place!" Y/n cried out.
"She left and now- now-" Y/n kept on crying in pain.
"I- I'm lost," Y/n cried out silently.
"It's okay, we can be lost together," I whispered out.
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