"Non fermarti per colpa mia. (Don't stop on my account.)" My voice is hoarse from the deep sleep I was in, as I stretch out underneath the covers. I keep my eyes open to watch Maya's naked back get covered by her shirt. She smirks over her shoulder when she sees me push up on my elbows, hoping she hasn't put any pants on yet. "Sorry to disappoint, my love. Hopefully the cup of coffee on your bedside table will make up for me being fully dressed." She turns around to lean against her dresser with her arms crossed over her chest.
The sleep leaves my body when I catch her staring at my exposed skin as the sheet slips off me when I sit up to grab my steaming cup. I moan in pure bliss from the first drop of coffee on my tongue and lick my lips a few times. Maya's eyes darken as she watches my every move. She tries to pull my attention back to her, but I just lift my finger up to silence her until I've had the whole cup in peace and quiet. I pout into the empty cup, quite upset that I've been denied every pleasure this morning.
Maya starts laughing at my theatrics before she walks over to me with her own cup in her hands. "I'll share mine for a proper good morning kiss." I make grabby hands at her cup, grinning from ear to ear when I see it's still more than half full. She sits down in the small space I create by moving my legs away. "I feel used. You were half naked in my bed when I came home this morning. I never even got a kiss and when I tried to say hi, you shushed me, wrapped yourself up in me and fell back asleep."
I take my time swallowing the sip I've just taken, trying my absolute best to fight my grin at her loving scowl. I honestly don't remember a thing after sneaking into her apartment late last night, but the twinkle in her eyes makes me think she didn't mind finding me in her bed when she came home. Not even a little. "Non fare il broncio. (Don't pout.) You've never had an issue with me in your bed before." I bite the rim of the mug, loving how her blush increases tenfold, as she looks me up and down. With a lustful look like that, I'm kind of happy that I opted to put on my underwear after slipping on her shirt.
To reward her for her impeccable restraint, I place my cup back on the bedside table, scooting closer to her. I rest my chin on her shoulder, loosely holding her around her waist as I stare into those well-rested baby blues. "Buongiorno, bella. I've missed you." She twists around to grab me behind my head to get that kiss she was denied earlier this morning. I lean in closer to her, throwing my one leg over her lap and bending the other behind her back without ever breaking away from her lips. She keeps the kiss soft and slow, humming into my mouth the longer it carries on.
I fight back the groan in the back of my throat when Maya refuses to deepen the kiss. These nice and tender moments were the only thing we've shared thanks to the fight we had a few nights back. Since the night my wife came knocking on my front door in the early hours of the morning, we haven't been able to spend all that many nights apart anymore. The bed we ended up crawling into depended on who's shift ended later. The end to Maya's latest 36-hour shift meant she came home in the morning, which was the only shifts we spent on our own.
I went home after my own clinic day, took a long bath, tried masturbating and then drove over to Maya's apartment to finish in her bed. That resulted in a multi-orgasmic marathon between sheets that smelled exactly like my wife, which pushed me over the edge again and again. Which is why I needed to take another shower, clean her sheets and go to sleep with her clothes on. It was supposed to be our first actual date night since our first, but due to Maya having one of her lieutenants committed, her schedule changed again, and the union added even more to her plate.
Maya's suspicions were correct, and Letham got diagnosed with Bipolar 1. Unfortunately, he only agreed to start treatment after a difficult conversation with my wife. She had to come clean with the union over her suicide attempt while on a call, which was the only way to keep Letham on the force. She now has to have mandatory psych evaluation once every three months to decide whether she's still mentally sane to stay on active duty.
The old Maya would never have jeopardized her career as a firefighter for anyone, she sure as hell would have denied any suspicion over her mental health. This new and improved version of my wife walked into the union building with her head held high, demanding that the union suspend her too if they dare to come between Letham and his promotion. After days of hearings and meetings, it was decided that the lieutenant had to be supervised on every call until he completes his treatment plan. And since Maya fought to keep him on the squad, she got saddled with the task.
Now her schedule is busier than it was when we were at our worst, and my nerves are in ruins. I took it upon myself to check in on her at least once a day, in person, to make sure she's not spiraling back into her clouds. Diane had the same concern and promised to keep me updated should she see signs of self-harm in Maya, ovviamente con il permesso di mia moglie (with my wife's permission of course). She didn't mind it at first, but after our fight she begged me to give her some space. And now I have to trust her when she tells me that she'll let me know if she starts feeling suffocated.
That was harder than anticipated, seeing how we never even would've had the fight if it were up to Maya. No, that came thanks to the firefighters bragging about my wife's heroic acts the night she had to commit her coworker. I went over to their station to pick her up and some disturbing facts came to light when I chatted with the desk jockey while waiting for their return. As it turns out, Maya forgot to disclose how close she came to getting burnt to a crisp herself when she ran into the building to retrieve two firefighters.
"Maya, ma stai scherzando (are you kidding me)!? This is not how you become better for me!" I slam my hands against the steering wheel. My anger has been festering since she climbed into my car and the way she keeps pretending that everything is peachy, is dialing up my temper more and more. By the time I park my car next to Maya's in her garage, I've reached my boiling point. Maya is just about to climb out of the car when I blow up on her. "Eri coperto di fuliggine! (You were covered in soot!) I mean, I should've known you-"
She slips back into her seat to face me in bewilderment. "What? Car-" I wave my hand between us, not in the mood for a single excuse. "You went into that building. You knew the risk and you-" Understanding flickers in her eyes and she grabs my hand to stop it from flailing in the air. "Baby, what...? I just went in to retrieve them. I wasn't in any danger." I shoot her a murderous scowl to warn her not to patronize me. She gulps down her fear, but no sound comes out of her mouth, which she keeps opening and closing.
"You. Were. Covered. In. Soot." I keep my voice threatening low, hissing each word while staring out of the windscreen. We've been together long enough for me to know what that meant. Soot behind her ears meant her helmet was taken off while she was in the building. Soot on her neck indicated that her mask was removed too. I may not be a firefighter, but I don't live underneath a rock either. "According to your adoring fans, no one cleared the scene before you ran back in there. There was another explosion, and you told them to stand down when they tried to get to you."
Maya rubs her hand over her mouth, panic clear in her eyes when they meet mine. "They were my responsibility, Carina. I had to." I shake my head at her, swatting away her hands when she tries to cup my face. She balls her hands into fists over the center console, begging me with her eyes to not walk away from us. "Sam just came back from maternity leave. She has a two-month-old baby waiting for her at home. Riddler's a probie. His mom still packs him lunch every day." She leans over the armrest to get as close as I'll allow her.
"I didn't have a choice, Carina! If there was a chance of bringing them home, I had to take it. I had to-" The audacity of this fucking woman. I grab the steering wheel again, twisting the leather between my hands, while Maya tries to defend her actions to me. It baffles me that she can't find the irony in her own words. "What about bringing yourself home? To me! Like you promised!" I turn my head so quickly at her silence that I feel my neck crack. "What about me, bambina?" She sucks in a breath, the whole situation finally making sense to her.
"Oh, my love." The whisper escapes her just before she tucks a strand of hair behind me ear, keeping her hand on my cheek. "I wasn't thinking, Carina. Baby. Please." I hold her hands against my face which have turned down into a stricken expression. "Maya. Do you even realize how that makes me feel? Everyone's loved ones ran through your mind except yours. I thought we were past this." She leans forward, kissing me once before meeting my eyes again. "I'm sorry. I never want you to think that you don't matter. I'm so sorry."
My eyes flicker between hers, trying to read the truth in them. The irony was that I started to believe that I'm the most important thing in her life, and then she has to go and do things like that. "What do I have to do to make you see that your life is just as valuable as any of the people you want to save?" Tears pool in her eyes as she presses her forehead against mine. "I'm trying, my love. I swear I am. I'll be better." I slip my hands behind her neck, pulling her in closer. She licks her lips, but her gaze shoots out over my shoulder where she can hide her shame.
"Look at me. Please, bambina. Eyes only on me." I massage the back of her neck until she gets her emotions under control enough to meet my gaze. "I don't want you to be better, Maya. I want you to matter. To me, to your friends, to the people you'll save tomorrow. That's all I need from you, bambina. To understand that there are people who depend on you staying alive." The unexpected surprise in her eyes registers just before her mouth crashes against mine. She pulls me closer by bunching up my shirt until it hurts, trying her best to crawl underneath my skin.
"I love you, Maya!" She drags me over the center console, so I'd straddle her legs, never breaking our kiss. "I love you. I love you. I love you." Her hands slip underneath my shirt, clawing at my skin in a way that is definitely going to leave marks. I wrench my head away from her, just long enough for me to get my point across. "You didn't want to keep living after you thought you lost me, sì?" She leans back into the seat, with utter confusion mirroring her eyes. I lift her chin with my two thumbs tucked underneath it, sitting up against her so she has nowhere to hide. "I can't live without you either. Understood?"
We spent most of that night inside my car. The adrenaline of the fight quickly morphed into something more primal, and we only came up to the apartment when we barely stopped short of ripping each other's clothes off. Back in bed, we spent the rest of the evening talking between soft nervous pecks until we drifted off to sleep. Since then, we ceased the cold war between us, refusing to go to bed angry. Ever. Now we're back to walking on eggshells around each other, not emotionally, but physically.
"Earth to Carina?" Maya kisses my forehead to pull my attention back to whatever we were doing before my mind went back to the most vivacious connection we had in days. "You just had two cups of coffee, babe. How are you still dreaming?" I bite her shoulder, bunching my hands into her shirt so I can bounce myself closer to her. She runs her nose up and down my cheek, purring into my ear before I have to ask her to speak up. "...we both have the day off..." I lift my brow in question, resting my chin back on her shoulder to gaze into the windows of her soul.
"I think I'm ready..." I smile at her deep crimson blush as she stares longingly at my lips and then down my shirt. "You can spend the rest of the morning convincing me how much I matter to you. In bed. Together, maybe?" For once, my wife has me speechless because of all the things I thought she was about to say, her telling me she's ready to have sex was not in my bingo cards. She runs her fingers up and down my arm, tucking on the flimsy material of her worn-out shirt every time she reaches it. "Uhm, Maya." I stop her hands from their ascend up my waist, and put them down on her lap.
I play with her fingers, lifting them up and letting them drop while I try to find the best way to let her down. "Bambina, mi dispiace (I'm sorry). I'm not ready yet." I'm fully expecting to see disappointment on her face, but her soft gaze doesn't falter once. "I love that you feel comfortable enough in your own mental health to become intimate, but I can't..." Maya tucks my hair behind my ears, holding my face close to her. I look into her eyes with regret and worry.
"Being in this house again is harder than I thought it was going to be. I love being with you, bambina. I've never slept as well as I do when I'm in your arms. But I can't get those memories out of my head of what it felt like to be completely rejected by the person I love most. I want to move on, Maya. But I'm so scared of you running away from me again. That if I let myself open up to you in every way, the clouds will take you away from me again." My wife wipes each tear that falls from my eyes, but never tries to sway me otherwise. When I drop my head against her shoulder, she kisses the crown of my head.
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry for making you feel alone. For making you feel unloved and unwanted. I swear that couldn't be further from the truth. You are my life, Carina Deluca-Bishop. And if I need to spend the next hundred years convincing you of that, then I'll wait a hundred more for you." I smile into her shirt, wiping my tears on the material before sitting back up. Maya is grinning at me in the most attractive way, and I can't help testing how serious her promise is. I crawl onto her lap before pushing her back against the covers.
She quickly swaps our positions, slipping between my legs as she pushes her hands underneath my shirt to claw at my ribcage. I start laughing in surprise at her brave audacity, squirming when her thumbs graze the underside of my naked breasts. "Oh, baby. I can do so much to you without ever crossing a line." She emphasizes it by swiping over my left breast, completely bypassing my nipple. The cocky smirk she's sporting paired with her expert pressure on my pulsing need forces a guttural moan from my throat.
I hook my finger into her mouth, dragging her down to me so I can bite that fucking grin off her face. "Sei malvagio, amore mio. (You are evil, my love.) But. So. Fucking. Sexy!" I lunch at her, kissing that sinful mouth until my need for her subsides. Which never happens because she starts asking what she's allowed to do to me. She squeezes my tits around the sides, raising her eyebrow in defiance. "Second base?" I throw my head back after I shake my head, and groan from how good her hands feel on my skin. I can't give her the upper hand on this, or I will crumble. She squeezes harder when I close my eyes in disobedience.
"I vividly remember you scratching and pinching my boobs against your bedroom door, getting yourself so wet that you squirted just from hearing my voice." I mewl from the memory of our first date, grinding myself up against her to relieve some of the pressure her touch evokes. "Please, bambina. You're killing me." She kisses me from the most sensitive spot below my ear, down my chin before nibbling on my pulse point on my neck. "Yes or no, my love?" I dig my nails into the back of her shoulders, grasping for anything solid to hold onto.
"Fuck yes! Grab me. Pinch me. Suck me! Cazzo. Qualunque cosa, tutto. Per favore! (Anything, everything. Please!)" I yelp in surprise when she pushes herself up while ripping the shirt in half, all in one move. Maya presses my breasts together before burying her face between them, motorboating me on a lustful moan. "God, I've missed touching you like this." She mumbles it into my flesh, moving her head left and right between her two best friends, kneading them like a cat. I reach down her waist until I can pull her shirt over her head, locking my legs behind her knees.
"Dovremmo fermarci (We should stop), bella. Fuck, I want you so bad it hurts." She finally wipes her thumb over my nipple while simultaneously biting down on the other one. My hands instinctively move to the waist of her pants, trying to get my hands in there. Her mouth pops as she releases my breast, grabbing my hands to trap my wrists with one of her hands above my head. "No, no, no, gorgeous. We're abstaining, remember? My belt is the one line you're not allowed to cross." I try fighting the grip she has on my wrists but give up when her fingers tighten around me.
She pushes herself up and look down between our bodies, basically drooling when her eyes lock on my exposed breasts. She runs the back of her fingers down the path between my breasts, over my stomach, tucking on my panties with a wicked smile. "I don't want you at all. My need for you is perfectly tucked away." Her grin turns more sinful the longer she plays with the waistband of my panties and when she meets my eyes, I groan in frustration. "Is third base too far?" I try bucking her off me, and she grins at me when I tell her enough.
Her eyes are beyond clear when she wraps her hand around my breast again, licking her lips as she watches herself pinch the sensitive nub. Cazzo! My wife has totally beaten me at my own game. It was my intention to push her to her limits, and she turned the tables on me and pushed me to a place where I'm barely able to hang onto my sanity. "You see, the one thing in my past I'll never part with is the ability to push through my pain. Because I can drive myself completely insane from touching you like this and walk away. Without. Catching. My. Breath."
She kisses me harshly on the mouth, biting and nibbling until I start seeing stars. I almost cheer when she releases my wrists, but I cry out when she pushes herself off my body. I flop back onto the bed to get my breathing under control, wiping her saliva from my erect nipples. Her laughing at the foot of the bed, makes me roll my eyes before she throws a shirt in my face. "I think a cold shower is in the cards for you, my love. I actually have a Sunday off, which means lunch with the Becketts. We're leaving in an hour."
I stand up on wobbly legs, grinning at her authoritative stance next to the bathroom door. "Am I finally meeting the family? This sounds a lot like a monogamous relationship, bella." I see her pupils dilate, the only evidence of her arousal, while I throw the shirt back on the bed. She gulps loudly when I confidently walk towards her in all my naked glory, grabbing her by her collar for a wet kiss. I admit defeat when her smirk never leaves her lips. "It's almost like we're married, babe." She gently pushes me into the bathroom, slapping my ass on a chuckle. "I'll be in the kitchen so you can scream my name in peace." She winks at me when I gasp before slamming the door shut.