Miles Dempsey
"First-class tickets?!" Nola whisper-shouted as we were being led to our seats on the plane. She turns to look at me and I shrug. "It's all the they had left," I tell her the truth. This was the only flight left to Miami today but the only seats left were first-class. It's the only reason I bought them.
Okay, that's a lie.
I only fly first class when I'm not traveling with the team. It's a personal choice. The only time I didn't fly first class was to Stockholm because they were all taken but I didn't mind.
On my way to Miami, I hope being in first class will save me the stress of bumping into a fan or having a crying child give me even more anxiety. "I call window seat," I say as the flight attendant shows us to our seats. Before sitting down, I place mine and Nola's bags in the compartment above.
We both packed lightly because we wouldn't be here long. I can't be here long. Practices start soon and Coach will slaughter me if I'm not present. Plus, as focused as I am on talking to my birth mother, I'm still thinking about hockey 24/7. I plan on watching film on the plane ride. It's a good distraction and I need to see what we're up against.
Winnipeg is alright. They're good but not good enough to beat us. Still, they have their standout players who are going to be out for blood. Everyone wants to win. The better team will come out on top and that's going to be us.
It took us about an hour to take off and I watched film the whole time. Nola starts on this new book she told me she had been wanting to read but never found the time to. Once the plane is finally in the air, I feel a lot better. I take a long sip from the water bottle the flight attendant gave us. "You okay?" Nola asks.
Nodding, I slip my headphones back on and watch our game against Winnipeg earlier this season. We beat them but it wasn't our best game. I'm picking up on the mess-ups and key players they have. When I notice something, I'm sending a text to the team group chat. They probably think I'm insane but I don't care.
After about two hours, I decided to take a small nap. Nola ended up "resting her eyes" and falling asleep. It takes me a while to fall asleep but I fall into a slumber eventually. As if my body knows we're about to land soon, I wake myself up. Everyone's getting their things together to be the first one out once the plane lands.
It's almost three in the morning here in Miami once we land. I tend to forget they're three hours ahead here in Florida. My eyes still feel heavy but I'll be able to get more sleep once we get to the hotel. Nola and I are first off the plane and I already ordered an Uber before we landed. When we hop into the car, Nola yawns.
The fact that I'm in Miami to meet my birth mother hasn't even hit yet. For some reason, I feel completely normal. I know once I'm in the Uber to go see her tomorrow it'll be a whole different story. Bringing Nola with me was the best option. She was there for me the other day when I had a mini panic attack. It had been a while since I had one of those. She helped calm me down.
Without her, I wouldn't be able to do any of this. Just knowing that she'll be with me tomorrow makes me feel more secure. She was the perfect option to accompany me on this trip. I don't regret it one bit.
Nola lays her head down on my shoulder. Our destination is about thirty minutes away. I got us a hotel closer to where my birth mother lives. We'd only stay the rest of tonight and then be back on a plane tomorrow night so it's not the most glamorous hotel. It's not an old sack either, I wouldn't do that to the girl next to me.
I lay my head back on hers for comfort and close my eyes. "You're going to be okay," Nola whispers. The car is quiet besides the light music that plays on the driver's radio. Her words sit with me for a little bit. She's been telling me the same thing since yesterday and I'm starting to believe her more and more. Still, I have a fear of everything going terribly wrong tomorrow.
I want answers but I also don't want to meet my birth mother just to interrogate her.
I want to get to know her too.
If she wants the same, I'm not sure yet. I'm not sure about anything.
When we get to the hotel, the lobby is empty as figured since it's almost four am. The lady behind the counter stands when Nola and I come in. "Hi," she says. "Hello. I have two rooms booked under the name Micheal Dean," I tell her. "Can I have the phone number?" she asks. I give her my phone number and she types it out on her computer.
I look over to Nola and she's looking up at me. "Micheal Dean?" she months with a teasing smile. My alias. I've never liked to use my real name because of privacy reasons. I roll my eyes at her and the lady behind the counter purses her lips as she looks at her computer. "It's showing me here that you only booked one room, Mr. Dean. Yesterday at 9 pm, correct?"
My brows furrow. "What? No, I booked two. Try checking again." I knew Nola was coming with me so I booked us both a room. She hums. "I only see one room reserved under your name. A suite with a king-size bed and couch," she says again. I smack my lips and shake my head. "There's no way. I'm not an idiot, I know I reserved two rooms," I blurt out.
The young girl looks at me and smiles weakly. "I'm not saying you're an idiot, sir. I just see one roo-" I cut her off. "No, well there should be two. I know I booked tw-"
"OKAY! That's fine, the one room is perfect. Can we just have the key card?" Nola cuts me off, grabbing my arm to pull me behind her. The girl nods quickly and grabs a key card for us, activating it. My chest rises and falls quickly.
I booked two rooms.
I know I did.
The young girl hands Nola the key card. "Room 346, enjoy your stay. Checkout is at 11 am," she tells us. "I'm sorry about that. Thank you," Nola says, pulling my arm in the direction of the elevators. She takes my sunglasses off my face and glares at me. "I booked two rooms," I say tightly. "It's fine, Miles. You terrified that girl," she tells me. I look back toward the front desk and the girl is no longer there.
"Whatever."
Nola turns her head to the side like she's challenging me. The elevator opens up and I walk straight in, ignoring her. "Miles," she says but I don't look at her. We reach the third floor where our room is and I still don't pay her any attention when she tries talking to me. She takes off running and I furrow my brows. What the. I start running after her when I realize what she's doing.
She opens the door and closes it shut right when I get there. I let out a breath through my nostrils. "Scott, open the door. Now," I demand. "No. You're a dick," she retorts. I roll my eyes and hit my fist against the door once. "Yeah, what else is new? Open the door," I reply, getting impatient now. I don't have time to deal with her antics at four in the fucking morning.
"Apologize then," she speaks.
"What?"
"You heard me."
I roll my eyes. "Stop being dramatic and open the door." She stays quiet and I realize she's not going to open the door unless I apologize to her. I lean my forehead against the wooden door and sigh loudly. "I'm sorry, alright? Just please open the door." I take a step back and she opens the door a couple of seconds later.
"You have to apologize to the girl tomorrow. You were really rude," Nola tells me like I don't know. I wasn't trying to be but emotions are running high and I got two fucking rooms not one. "She should do her job better. Now look at us, we have to share a goddamn room," I mumble, annoyed. "Oh, I'm sorry. I'm taking the couch anyway so you can have your king-sized bed," she replies, her tone petty.
I smack my lips. "Don't be ridiculous." Stealing one of the many pillows from the bed, I throw it on the couch. Yes, I'm an asshole but I'm not going to have the girl sleep on the couch while I take the bed. "You wanted your own room so bad you practically fought with a seventeen-year-old girl about it. Take your bed," Nola retorts.
There's an extra blanket in the closet so I take it to cover myself on the couch. When I turn around, Nola is getting comfortable on the white couch. Why is she being so annoying at this time of night? "Scott, get up and get on that bed," I tell her calmly. She doesn't make an effort to move, laying her head down on the pillow now. "Scott. I'm not playing with you. Now."
I give her a couple of seconds and when she still doesn't move, I bend over a bit and pick her up, throwing her over my shoulder easily. "Miles! Let go of me!" she shouts, kicking and slapping my back. "Nope. You didn't want to move so I'll move your ass," I reply, holding onto her legs tightly. "You asshole!" I throw her onto the bed and she gasps at the impact.
She looks up at me and I look down at her. "Next time, listen," I tell her before walking over to the couch. I pull the string on the lamp that illuminates the room making everything go dark. Nola doesn't say anything else and we both lay in silence. About twenty minutes in, I'm sure she's asleep. Sometimes it's hard to shut the girl up so she must be asleep if she hasn't said anything yet.
That is until I hear a sigh. "Miles, this is ridiculous," she says. I lift my head to try and look at her but the room is basically pitch black. "What is?" I reply. "I'm on one side of the bed. The other half is completely free so just come sleep on here. I felt how uncomfortable that couch was," she speaks.
It is a bit uncomfortable but that's not why I can't sleep. My mind is running with thoughts of everything that's about to come in the next couple of hours. "I'm fine," I answer, turning my body to the side. Nola sighs and I hear shuffling around in the bed. "Miles. I'm serious. We're only going to be asleep for a couple of more hours."
"No."
"Just come here."
"I said I'm fine, Scott."
"Miles."
"No, I'm fine. The couch isn't even that-"
"Just come here!" she shouts, making me flinch. Sighing, I get up slowly and walk over to the bed. It's so huge that once I get in, we're not even close to touching. She's on the other side of the bed completely so I make myself comfortable. "Thanks," I whisper. This bed is definitely more comfortable than that shitty couch.
My back is turned to Nola who is laid down facing me. I close my eyes and I feel myself get tired quickly. "Sorry for being annoying. I just wanted you to be comfortable," she says. My eyes open again at the sound of her voice. "You weren't being annoying," I tell her even though I might be lying a little bit. No matter how she acts, I don't regret bringing her with me.
Even with the state I'm in, her presence brings me serenity.
"Are you a little more comfortable?" she asks. As tired as I am, I turn around the face her. Her eyes are wide open and I'm starting to question if she's even tired anymore. "Yeah. We should get some sleep though since we have to wake up in a couple of hours," I remind her. She nods her head. "I just wanted to make sure you were okay." Nola lifts her body and sits up on her elbow.
I can see her a lot clearer now since we're closer. Her hair is still in a slick-backed ponytail. I like when she wears her hair like this because I can see every single part of her face. I'd be lying if I said she wasn't beautiful.
Being in the limelight that I'm in, I've seen many pretty girls. But every time I look at the girl in front of me, I don't think none of those other women compare. Nola has a unique beauty to her. Maybe it's just the way I see her. She may look like any regular blonde haired, blue eyed girl to other people. To me, she's ethereal. Just the sight of her makes my chest hurt.
There's no describing the feeling honestly. All I know is that I've never looked at a woman the way I look at her. And I'm okay with that.
"I'm fine right now. I don't know how I'll be tomorrow though," I admit. I've never been more nervous to meet anyone in my life. It takes a lot to make me nervous and the thought of meeting my birth mother tomorrow has my palms clammy. "Tomorrow will be fine too, alright? I'll stick by you," Nola promises.
She uses her free hand to move the piece of hair that hangs over my forehead slightly. A soft giggle escapes her lips when it falls back into place. The sound makes me smile lightly. "Thanks again for coming. Means a lot to me that you're here, honestly," I admit. "Yeah, of course. I'm glad you asked me to come." Nola lays back down on the pillow but scoots closer to me on the bed.
There are still a good few inches between us but it feels like we're worlds apart. Being away from her for a long time is one of the worst feelings. Even now as we lay in the same bed, only a couple of inches apart, it isn't close enough. "You've been okay? Tell me everything," I say, as I scoot closer to her. Our knees touch and it makes her flinch slightly but she stays put.
"Some days are still harder than others but I'm okay. I know I'll be okay. Worlds sucked but it's not the end of the world. I have plenty of opportunity now," she tells me. "We'll see when I start taking advantage of them." She has plenty of time. Nola is young and I know she has a lot of will and talent left in her. She'll do amazing things one day with figure skating or without.
"Good girl. I'm proud of you, Scott. No matter what," I assure her. A smile spreads across her face. Her dark blues are wide open while mine are begging to close. The only reason I haven't closed my eyes yet is because I want to make sure she's asleep before I am. "Stop making me smile at four a.m. I'm supposed to be asleep," she groans.
That pulls a tired laugh out of me. I shake my head and she's still smiling. Her pretty teeth are visible and my heart just races faster. "I like your smile. I always want to see you smile, Scott." My voice comes out a bit lower than before. Her smile disappears a bit but I can still see her eyes shining. "It's one of the only things keeping me together at the moment."
She looks at me for a long time without saying anything. The silence isn't awkward, it never is anymore. "Don't hate me," she whispers, reaching her hand out and placing it on my cheek. Her warm touch lights a fire in me. Thousands of emotions pass through my body at her touch but also her words. "I could never hate you. Why do you say that?"
All of a sudden, sadness passes through her features. She traces my eyebrow, the one with a scar on it. Nola doesn't make direct eye contact with me but I keep my eyes on her impatiently. Why would she say that? "Just.. please don't," she announces, finding the strength to look at me again. I reach up and grab her wrist with my hand. Her fingertips dig into my skin a bit when I touch her.
All-consuming. That's what this woman is to me.
It scares the fuck out of me.
"Scott," I whisper, my heart stammering against my chest. As much as my heart is speaking to me, my head is too.
And my head is screaming stop.
But my heart is my head's enemy and it's trying to fight back.
I shake my head slowly and she caresses my cheek with her thumb. "I can't," I struggle to say. Her eyes plead with something and I don't want to admit what it is. We can't. "I know," her voice cracks and that's all it takes. My heart takes over and pushes me forward, making a decision I know can't be reversed.
My lips crash onto hers and she gasps into my mouth. I almost pull away when I don't feel her return the kiss. Maybe I fucking misread the signs. But she only takes a couple of beats and our lips are in sync. She ignites something in me that makes me feel like I'm going insane. All the feelings that overcome me in this very moment block out all the bad in the world.
With her, I'm safe.
With her, everything else doesn't matter.
It's been a long time that I've been trying to convince myself that it was a 'just friends' thing with her. I was so adamant about not catching feelings for the girl that I convinced myself the feelings that were growing weren't serious. Despite the fact that I had never felt this way about anyone before. Her effect on me became apparent quickly. The way my heart raced around her, the way my mood could be shifted, the way just seeing her upset burned a terrible fire inside of me.
Deep down, I knew.
I knew I was fucked from the moment we reconciled.
Every time I wanted to give in to my feelings, I held myself back. Nola was only nineteen. This isn't the first time I've heard this. People seem to constantly remind me, her dad is the most recent person. This was the first time I had ever looked in the direction of a woman her age. The age difference wasn't bad but I knew I'd get shit for it.
Starting something with Nola would also potentially put her in the limelight. There's only so long you can keep a relationship private. One of the main reasons I don't do girlfriends is because of the media. My partner getting backlash for simply being my partner is something I want to prevent. I'm not hiding them from anything other than hateful people.
It would crush my soul if I ever read even one nasty comment towards Nola. She doesn't deserve that. I also don't think I deserve her. Nola Scott is angelic. The more I get to know her, the more I think she's too great for this cruel world. Her gorgeous face isn't what drew me in. The way she carries herself, her aspirations, how she's so empathetic, and that little giggle when I say something only she would find funny.
That beautiful, fucking giggle that can make anyone's day.
It's not hard to want her.
It's hard to stay away from her.
Which is why I really don't want to anymore.
Our mouths clash with each other as if they've done it a thousand times over. Her hand on my cheek lowers to my chest and she grabs onto my t-shirt. I take it as she wants me to come closer, so I do.
I grab her waist with my hand and press her flush against me. My heart was beating so fast that I worry she could feel it against her chest. There was no chance I was pulling away. I was scared of what would happen if I did.
Her fingers found their way to my hair and she tangled them into it, tugging lightly. My chest rises and falls faster. This is a moment I've been waiting for. Since the first time we almost kissed. Sometimes, I still regret not kissing her then. I'm definitely regretting it now. She traces her tongue on my bottom lip and I open my mouth a bit wider to allow entrance.
Once she slips her tongue in my mouth and it touches my own, I release a throaty groan. Fucking hell, I'm addicted. Her response is a deeper, slower kiss. I dig my fingertips into her back and I feel myself begin to get hot. With one last fleeting kiss, I finally pull away. Both of us catch our breaths, our faces still mere inches away from one another. Nola pulls her face back slightly and her dark blue eyes burn into mine.
As much as I want to kiss her again and not stop, I hold back. A piece of her hair slips out of her ponytail and I push it back lightly. There's so much to say but I can't even begin to form words. Nola smiles at me weakly. "Get some rest," she whispers. Before I can respond, she's moving over to where she previously laid, her back now turned to me. The urge to pull her back to be me is strong but I turn my back toward her too.
My eyes close and even though my heart beats quickly, my chest falls heavily, and I still taste her on my lips; a deep slumber overtakes me and I become dead to the world.