(a/n: last journal chapter of the book!)
5 January 2026
Hello journal! Long time no see as it's now the new year and I'm also in Riyadh, Saudi Arabia!
Y/n and I actually got here a few days ago, but I'm now writing in this because the first show of the leg finished literally 15 minutes ago! I'm doing two nights here in Riyadh, so I'm hoping a lot of fans can see me for the first time over these two shows! And one crazy thing is that this was the first show of mine to be outdoors! My shows here are at Prince Faisal Bin Fahad stadium, so I'm able to get a great amount of people seeing me!
The show tonight was fantastic and I'm glad I had that almost month off because I was completely reenergized and ready to go! The crowd was electric and I loved interacting with them. I also forgot they didn't know I went back to black hair, so the screams when I first came out were INSANE. It was really nice chatting with fans before the show and getting their lovely gifts. I got a few good recommendations for places to eat, so tomorrow y/n and I will go explore a few of those.
The weather here is perfect honestly and don't tell y/n this, but I'm happy to be out of the freezing cold. Now I will say, the cold allowed me to snuggle up to her many times with a reason, so that was a plus. But I still liked to escape the snow.
I'm currently sitting in my dressing room writing this and I'm waiting for the van to get here and also for my girlfriend to show up. She's been amazing and has been doing her job great. She told me that my lead guitarist's in-ears were messed up for a bit, so she was working away to fix those. I didn't even notice as he was still perfectly on time, so that shows his experience and professionalism.
But today before the show, y/n, my team, and I explored the city a bit. We went to the touristy spots of course, but they were still super cool. The Kingdom Tower Centre looks super neat, so I made my girlfriend take photos of me standing in front of it. She was my personal photographer for the day and she did an okay job.
We of course did some shopping around and we all got some stuff. I didn't get recognized once somehow, but I was thankful for that as it allowed me to have a calm day before the show.
Our hotel room is also really nice, so I can't wait to get some sleep in the huge bed. I swear the mattress absorbs your whole body and I love it. Also the view from the room is really pretty, so that's a plus.
Can y/n hurry up? She doesn't have like anything to do except turn shit off. How hard can that be? I've been sitting her for fucking 20 years! She likes to keep me waiting, huh.
7 January 2026
Today was a travel day annoyingly enough. I wanted to spend more time in Riyadh, but we couldn't sadly. The show last night was super fun and there were a few posters fans made from when they saw me here as Blackpink. I found that super sweet and I did go on a little tangent about how the girls are doing and blah blah blah.
But seeing those signs made me reminisce on those few days we spent here back then. It was really fun going around with the girls and I'm happy I got to do the same with my girlfriend. I did call the three of them and told them about the show and we all talked about the past as well.
I will say, this time around I did try more foods and WOW do these people know how to cook here. I tried Kabsa, which was so good that I stole some of y/n's when she ordered some during another meal. I also tried Mutabbaq when we went shopping and it was a great snack to have while walking. Oh, how could I forget! At our hotel they had a delicious shawarma on the room service menu that either y/n or I had every night we were there.
I have a feeling y/n will be looking up recipes for that specifically.
Overall, Riyadh was an amazing time and I'm so happy I was able to perform for my fans there!
But now I'm currently in Delhi, India as I have a show here! I depressingly only have one show here, but at least it's in a stadium that can fit 30,000 people, so that's basically two arena shows combined into one.
I know India is literally the most populated country, so only 30,000 people is nothing, but it's a start at least! It was a struggle to even get to play here schedule wise, so I'm content with one show. Hopefully in the future though I'll be able to focus more on the county and do more shows!
Y/n and I have been having a pleasant time here thus far and I'm excited to see what the crowd will be like tomorrow during my show. Jane told me that when we go exploring tomorrow that we'll have extra security. That doesn't surprise me as the streets are packed and who knows what kind of people are lurking around in the shadows.
Someone could be out to murder me...LIKE MY OWN GIRLFRIEND.
Y/n's probably playing the long game. She's lulling me into a sense of security and right when she has me where she wants, she'll slit my throat and kill me. But little does she know, I'm onto her plan and I'll have a counterattack, killing her instead!
And then I'll cry because I killed her, even if she was going to kill me first.
Ya know, I think that's my cue to go to bed.
8 January 2026
WHO KNEW MY FANS HERE WERE SO FUCKING SWEET????
The fans I got to meet beforehand were so unbelievably kind it made my heart melt a million times over. I got such heartfelt gifts and letters and had so many good hugs! They all spoke so highly of me and also my relationship with y/n. A few told me that they got the confidence to come out because of me and that made me a bit emotional because knowing I helped people out with that was amazing.
I hope all of those people are loved so much! Well, I know they're loved so much because I love them!
So after meeting them I did indeed cry in my dressing room as I read over the letters and whatnot. My makeup artist wasn't too happy, but I didn't care because I'm paying her anyway to do my makeup.
Also just walking around the city before the show was nice! Fans came up and were super respectful towards me and all my security. I of course signed some stuff and took a few pictures with them. They've just been so welcoming to me and I can't wait to come back here on another future tour of mine.
Don't even get me started on the show itself. Somehow a huge fan account of mine here set up a whole event for me during the show and thousands of flower petals were thrown my way from the crowd during 'Living Beyond Tomorrow'. I'll never forget that moment as it just felt so surreal.
I gave a really long ending speech to them and expressed my gratitude for them because they all were truly special. They have made my time here a blast and I'm so lucky to have such amazing people support me.
India, I love you <3
11 January 2026
I don't want to say I've had a favorite show on any tour I've been apart of because I don't want to diminish all the other shows...but yesterday's show here in Bangkok, Thailand was CRAZY.
Was it because Lisa was able to join me on stage during the encore and perform with me?
100%
Did we both cry at the end?
100%
Sharing the stage with her again was just so much fun and so emotional–in a good way! Dancing around with her stupidly and just singing together made the show so special to me. The fans obviously lost their shit when Lisa rose up from the stage, so I'll never forget the deafening screams from all of them.
But Lisa is gonna join me on stage again tonight as I'm writing this journal in the hotel room before I leave for the venue.
Y/n and I got here on the 9th and spent time with Lisa and her family. I introduced y/n to them and they welcomed her, which was really sweet. We all explored Bangkok and it was just such a nice time, I wouldn't trade it for the world.
Lisa also drove y/n and I to the house she was able to get here just outside of Bangkok for her and her family. She just closed on it last week, so there's nothing inside, but we went in and saw it with our own eyes. Lisa was asking what we would decorate it like and whatnot, just wanting to hear our opinions. There were a bunch of large windows, so she's going to spend a pretty penny on curtains.
I bet she doesn't know how expensive they can get and she will be extremely shocked when that time comes.
Oh yeah, y/n also met all of Lisa's animals as they're currently all here as well! She moved them all here last month because she wanted them to get used to the climate differences and whatnot. It was really adorable watching y/n play with Lisa's pets.
Y/n was running around with Love in the backyard of the house they're all still at right now. I was petting Leo as he was happily laying on my lap. Lego also came by and wanted to get some pets, so both my hands were occupied as I watched my girlfriend mess around with the dog outside.
It has been such a nice time here in Thailand and I'm sad that we'll be leaving tomorrow :(
But new adventures, shows, and fans await!
Okay my girl is ready to go to the venue, so I'll wrap up this entry now!
14 January 2026
Singapore is quite the place, I must admit.
I had a few places in mind that I wanted to visit before the show yesterday and y/n and I were able to do quite a lot thankfully.
The first thing we went to see was the Cloud Forest because hello...it just looks so cool. I've seen pictures of it randomly on Pinterest and I wanted to see it with my own eyes. And it did not disappoint, thank god. We went to Marina Bay with that one building that's actually three buildings with a thing that reminds me of like a really flat cruise ship. I forget the name and I'm too lazy to look it up, but we actually went there after the show to see all the lights on and whatnot.
The food here? Delectable. When y/n and I were exploring, I may have been making us stop pretty often because I would see something I wanted to eat for a snack.
Um what else did we do before the concert? Obviously we had sex in the hotel, that's a given, duh. Damn, we really didn't do much else because the dates of these Asian shows are so close to one another that we don't get much time to explore.
I don't care though because I'm able to perform for a lot of fans this way.
Speaking of fans, the show was awesome! The fans were singing along to every single lyric and didn't stop for one second. They were so quiet when I would do my little speeches and I found that really adorable. It was such a nice atmosphere and I'm so happy I have such wonderful people supporting me throughout my music journey.
There really isn't much more to say, so onto the next city! Man, these entries are getting a lot shorter, but then again there's less to write about because of the time restrictions. Oh well, this journal is just for me anyway.
16 January 2026
Today is Jennie's birthday! I facetimed her earlier when I woke up this morning and I spoke with her for about an hour. Me talking on the phone made my girlfriend wake up, so she also joined in on wishing Jennie a happy birthday. She said she isn't doing anything too crazy to celebrate as she just wants to stay home and have a few of her closest friends over. I told her I wish I could be there to celebrate with her, but she told me not to worry at all. I also told her that the gift I had mailed to her should be arriving at some point today, so she needs to be on the lookout for that.
But after my facetime with Jennie, y/n and I decided to roam around more of Jakarta, Indonesia because she's never been here before. I've been here a few times as Blackpink, so I took her to a few of my favorite places. I got recognized pretty often since there are a lot of kpop fans here, so I was stopped pretty frequently. I didn't mind though and y/n would politely step aside to let the fans speak to me.
I did some shopping and y/n had somehow managed to find a damn LEGO store, so she bought a set. I didn't even know she snuck out of the store I was in until I saw the yellow LEGO bag in her hands. After that, I did keep my hand holding hers so she wouldn't run off again.
The concert I just finished an hour ago was super fun, as always. A bunch of fans had signs with photos of them from a show they were at when Blackpink came here which was cute. I shared a few stories from back then with them all because I want them to still remember Blackpink and give them new bits of information and funny moments that happened behind closed doors.
There were many years when we were Blackpink where we really had to put on a fabricated personality, which I hated. We had media training drilled into us and we couldn't be ourselves until we truly made a name for ourselves. So from the early years of Blackpink, a lot of my favorite memories are from when we weren't in front of a crowd because that's when we were actually ourselves.
Like doing music video shoots (when the behind the scenes cameras weren't on) and just being in the studio or dorm were so fun.
I miss the girls and the fun we would have in the studio for hours. The times we would make fun of each other because someone's voice cracked or they pronounced something wrong were always hilarious. Especially when we were all running on like no sleep, so we were loopy and we thought everything was so funny.
I miss those times.
18 January 2026
Hanoi, Vietnam here I am! I say that even though I just did my show...so I guess here I was? I don't know.
It has been great being back here as I always have a really pleasant time here. Honestly that's how it is for a lot of the Asian stops because the girls and I hit them often as Blackpink. I mean, that was the main target audience until we became globally known.
Also my girlfriend is broken.
Was I the one to break her?
Maybe.
BUT it wasn't on purpose.
All I did was accidentally swing open a door and hit her in the face with it...I think I cried more about it than her honestly. She got a bloody nose from the impact, but nothing was broken, just badly bruised. So now she's wearing a mask whenever we go outside so people don't need to see her bruised nose.
But I now have an excuse to baby the shit out of her, which is quite fun. I sometimes go over the top just to annoy her, but she doesn't like to yell at me, so she'll just put up with me.
I love her and she loves me.
Honestly other than me almost breaking my girlfriend's nose, nothing too eventful happened here other than the show. The show was tremendous and a blast. There was a cute fan event and a bunch of fans held up banners that said 'our lovely flower' on them, which was so cute. I did in fact steal one, so that will be stuffed into my suitcase.
I'm currently in the van with y/n beside me actually as I'm writing this. She's listening to music and scrolling through Instagram. And I know she won't look to see what I'm writing because she's told me that she gets car sick when she reads.
Loser.
I love reading and writing in a car. I know when I was younger, on road trips I would always be reading whenever I wasn't singing, which was actually often because I would get banned from singing for more than an hour at a time.
My family loves me.
20 January 2026
I swear if I get another text or call from Lisa where she's asking me for my opinion on something for her house, I'm going to set that damn house on fire. The past three hours have been practically nonstop dinging from texts or just me talking on the phone with her.
And it's past midnight!
So I am angrily writing this right now because I'm wide awake and have nothing else to do. I don't want to look at a screen, so here we are. I'm glad y/n was able to tune me out after a while because she did keep tossing and turning in bed. I think it was when I started to gently rub her back she finally fell asleep.
So this has been my start to our small stay here in Hong Kong.
I wanted to get a lot of sleep tonight because that just sounded amazing, but NO, some bang haired bitch can never trust her own opinion. I love Lisa, I really do, but she is one of the most indecisive people on the planet and it drives me crazy.
I need to get my mind off her or I'll be writing too hard that the ink will bleed through the page.
So I'll talk about my girlfriend instead!
Y/n's nose is healing nicely as she said it doesn't really hurt anymore, but it's at that really ugly healing bruise faze. So she's self conscious about her appearance which breaks my heart because I still find her hot. I mean I did say she's at the ugly bruise stage, but she isn't ugly, she'll never be ugly in my eyes.
But y/n did some work today when we got here at the hotel. I was bored because she was being productive, so I clung to her side and watched her work. She is such a fast typer and she'll continue typing flawlessly without even looking at the keyboard or screen! Like whenever I spoke, she would look down at me and her fingers would still be clicking away. It's like complete muscle memory for her.
That's her true calling in life: typing extremely well.
I mean, I probably have something to do with that, right?
Though when I was watching her screen and watching her work, I saw her boss send her an email about an artist that will be going on tour come July and they would really like it if she was their in-ear person. Y/n clicked out of the email really fast once she read it and didn't say anything about it, basically pretending like she didn't just read it.
I didn't mention it or anything, but that got me thinking about the future for us because I don't want to stop y/n from going on tours with other artists if she wants to go, but she'd be away from me for months and months, which I'd hate. This will definitely have to be a topic we discuss because it is a big thing with her career and what our relationship will be like.
25 January 2026
Manila!!!!!!
They always welcome me with such open arms here and I love it. And I love them, so it's balanced.
I had two shows here and I'm super happy I was able to do that for them. Yesterday's show was super hype and everyone was having the time of their lives! Obviously me seeing my fans going all out only makes me want to do more, so I was exhausted after that show. But I am not complaining about that because it was a concert to remember.
I took it a little easier for tonight's show and I wasn't panting like a dog afterwards with sweat dripping from my body.
Oh my god, when I was playing my guitar tonight, a fucking string broke! So I stood there like an idiot for a few seconds before giggling and apologizing, running off to get a new guitar. It took some time to get it hooked up and everything, but the whole ordeal only lasted probably 3 minutes at most.
And the whole time y/n was talking through my in-ears, making me smile like an absolute lovesick moron. It got to a point where I covered my blushing face and took my in-ears out, and of course the crowd went crazy once they put two and two together.
Overall though the show went great and my team fixed my guitar's string, so it'll be good to go for Tokyo.
The food here is obviously great as I had thoroughly stuffed my face the whole time we have been here. And I know I'm going to have a great breakfast before our flight as well and I can't wait to eat more!!!
28 January 2026
How the hell did I just play two sold out shows in the Tokyo Dome to just people who wanted to see me and only me?
That's crazy.
Everyone who came to see me are also crazy.
I got to show my awfully rusty Japanese skills to the crowd. Holy fuck, that first night was god awful, but the second night was WAY better.
My girlfriend did compliment me on my Japanese as she said I sounded rather sexy. Though only sexy with my lower tone and not the tone I used while speaking to the crowd. I still have that mindset that I need to speak in a 'cuter' voice for my fans.
Damn kpop and aegyo rotting my brain.
I need to break free from those chains immediately.
But our time here in Tokyo has been really lovely. Y/n and I explored around and y/n eagerly wanted to go to one of the Pokémon stores here. She was able to get her favorite starter as a plushie and she got me Skwovet since it's a squirrel. My girlfriend honestly doesn't say I look like a squirrel or chipmunk like at all, but I know she was a fan of Blackpink before I met her, so she probably knows it from that.
It is a cute plushie though.
I did let y/n have her time in the store as she did facetime Jisoo and show her all the plushies. Jisoo demanded she buy one for her and gift it to her once we go to Seoul, which we're actually going to be leaving for tomorrow morning.
My girlfriend and I obviously had some delicious ramen from a small hole-in-the-wall kind of place, so that was utterly amazing. I swear the smallest and most random spots you can get food are like always the best...I wonder why that is.
Uh, I don't know if there's much more to say. All I know is that I'm super excited that y/n will see my apartment in Seoul for the first time tomorrow! I can't wait to show her around to all my favorite places too!
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i would say i'm sorry for the long wait, but i'm not sorry lol. life has been lifing, what can i say. uh, idk what else to say honestly, so i will just see u all in the next chapter, I LOVE YOU <3