Hydra's shadow

By emsromanova

1K 49 87

Natasha Romanoff managed to escape The Red Room years ago and has never looked back on that part of her past... More

Chapter 1: Rooftops
Chapter 2: Clouded Memories
Chapter 3: All Too Familiar Words
Chapter 4: Alone
Chapter 5: Shared Apologies
Chapter 6: Afraid
Chapter 7: A New Home
Chapter 8: Unlikely Comfort
Chapter 9: A Silver Star
Chapter 10: Distractions
Chapter 11: Seventeen
Chapter 13: Movie Night
Chapter 14: Truth Hurts
Chapter 15: Use Your Mind
Chapter 16: Odd Numbers
Chapter 17: That Hurt
Chapter 18: Taken
Chapter 19: Pumpkin
Chapter 20: Five

Chapter 12: Confession

50 2 9
By emsromanova

*NATASHA'S POV*

"James? Please say something."

He'd been staring at the wall next to us for the past thirty seconds, almost like he was frozen in time, in a trance-like state. I don't blame him it was a lot to take in, finding out the person you share your life with has been hiding a secret as big as this one.

"You have a daughter?"

"I do. But I haven't seen her since the day she was born, well until now maybe."

"You have a daughter." this time not a question, almost like he was grounding himself to believe everything I'd just told him, to believe it all to be true.

"You have to understand why I didn't tell you, why I didn't tell anyone. I was so young and he told me I'd never see her again. It hurt too much to think about where she was, how he was treating her, if she hated me for leaving her."

I felt tears pricking at the corner of my eyes as a lump formed in my throat, my voice slowly becoming strangled by it.

Before I could get any more words out James moved over to where I was sitting wrapping his metal arm tightly around my shoulder, bringing me into a hug, my head resting comfortably against his chest.

"You didn't leave her Nat, she was taken from you." he reassured as he ran his other hand gently through my hair, occasionally wiping away the tears as they fell over my cheeks.

"Hey at least I can stop freaking out about how similar you two look." he joked, squeezing my shoulder slightly as I managed a half-hearted laugh.

"I don't even know where to start James, I don't want her to hate me."

"How could anyone hate you?" he whispered as he tilted my chin up to face him.

"She'll understand, I know she will." he muttered, placing a small kiss on my forehead as I leant back against his chest.

We stayed like that for a while, for what seemed like hours, until a few sharp knocks on the bedroom door broke me out of my thoughts.

"Hey lovebirds, dinners on the table in 5!" Stark shouted from across the other side of the door.

I stood up pacing around the room nervously searching for Echo's necklace, she'd be looking for it if I didn't give it back soon, and I wanted to tell her in private so the chaos of her searching for it might mess up my plan of telling her away from everyone else.

"Hey Nat just be normal okay? As far as everyone else is aware nothing's changed."

"Normal? I can act normal." I spoke confidently, but the nervousness in my voice was clear as James gave me a hopeful smile tipping his head to the side in question.

"I'll be fine James."

"As long as you're sure."

I nodded in his direction before opening the door and heading straight down to the kitchen, the smell of pizza already wafting across the table as I took a seat down opposite from Echo.

"Oh Echo I forgot to mention, I found your necklace earlier when you used our bathroom, I meant to give it back to you in training but it must've slipped my mind. Here." I said, clearly nervous as my voice was more high-pitched than normal, and I was speaking at a much faster pace.

"Oh thanks." she smiled back at me, as I reached over and placed it into her outstretched palm.

"What is it?" I heard Steve mutter from the other end of the table.

"It's a star-pendant necklace, I've had it since I was young enough to remember. I think it might've belonged to my mama."

"You never met her?" I asked, trying to act normal as possible, still eager to know more about the girl sitting right in front of me. My girl.

"No. Dreykov never mentioned her unless I asked, but I asked about her all the time. He'd always say that she'd chosen to give me up, that she had asked him to take me and raise me. Because she didn't want to. This star pendant was found wrapped in the blanket she'd bundled me in when she gave me away. It's the only thing I have from her."

"I'm sorry that couldn't have been easy." I barely managed to respond, feeling more anger towards Dreykov than I ever had before.

"I've never known any different. Besides he always taught me not to focus on her, what's the point of longing for her if she never wanted me in the first place?"

The lump in my throat was back again, now making me feel physically sick looking at the slices of pizza on the plate sat in front of me. More lighthearted conversation had made its way around the table, the buzzing of the team's voices ringing in my ears, though my thoughts were clouded only by one thing. I couldn't stand the fact that Echo thought I'd abandoned her, that I didn't want her. Because it was the complete opposite, I wanted more than anything to be her mother, I still do. I couldn't help but wonder how she'd react when I tell her, I just hope she would understand. It wasn't my choice to make no matter how hard I tried to get her back, it was and had always been his. And I'd never forgive him from taking my baby away from me. Never.

"Hey Nat, did you hear me?"

"What?"

"I asked you a question. Do you wanna watch Home Alone or Deck the Halls? For the Christmas movie night."

"I honestly don't mind Clint." I responded, snapped out of my daze.

"Home Alone it is then!" Clint concluded as I managed a smile in his direction.

"Nat, you okay?" James asked as he nudged me gently, both still sat at the table while the others began to clear away the dishes.

"Yeah I just can't stop thinking about it. I need to tell her tonight. I can't wait any longer."

"Already?"

"I've been waiting over thirteen years for this to happen, for the day I finally meet her again. I don't want to wait any longer James, I can't."

"Okay." he smiled as I stood up from the table, clearing our plates and cutlery, placing them in the sink where Steve had already started to wash up.

"Hey Natalia, would you mind if I use your shower again. It's just I haven't washed since before the training session this afternoon."

"Yeah of course you can."

"Great thanks, I'll just go grab a change of clothes."

I watched as she turned towards the stairs, stepping one by one until she made it to the hallway of the second floor above. I saw this as my chance, taking the same flight of stairs until I found myself standing right outside her door. I knocked twice, about to knock again when I heard Echo's voice from the other side of the door.

"Come in!"

I gently pushed open the door, smiling awkwardly as she turned round to face me.

"Oh Natalia hi."

"Echo, can we talk?"

"Umm.. sure, is everything okay?"

"I'm not sure yet."

I motioned for her to sit down on the bed, creaking under both of our weights. I should really find her a better room if she was going to be staying here permanently, only if she chose to of course.

"There's something really important I have to tell you. And I want you to listen carefully to every word I say, please just hear me out before you judge me."

"I wouldn't judge you Natalia."

There was a short pause as I thought of the best way to start, eventually deciding on starting at the very beginning. I didn't want to leave any details out, she deserved the truth, the whole truth.

"When I turned seventeen, I was supposed to have my graduation ceremony. But Dreykov had other plans in mind for me, he'd delayed my ceremony, putting in place something I never could have ever imagined. I was his favourite, his most skilled widow, most skilled killer. He told me he couldn't just let that talent go to waste, so he impregnated me against my will, forcing me to train whilst I was pregnant with my baby. Except she wasn't my baby, she was his. He'd already planned everything, as soon as she was born he took her away from me, I had no choice but to leave her, he gave me no choice. But there was one thing he never knew I'd done for her. I'd taken my necklace he'd given me once and given it to her the day she was born, scratching a message into the back of the pendant reading-"

"'мояy милая девочка'" she interrupted, finishing my sentence for me.

"my sweet baby girl" I repeated back to her.

I watched Echo's face as she realised what I was saying, a combined look of shock and realisation painting an expression across her face, too hard for me to get a read on. I expected the worst, for her to hate me, for her to never want to speak to me or see me ever again. But nothing like this came, instead as I hung my head low in shame I felt her arms snake around my neck burrowing her head just beside mine resting on my shoulder.

"You wanted me, you really wanted me." she spoke, as she began to cry against me, now turning into choked sobs but I knew them to be happy tears.

I tightly hugged her back, grasping my hands across her back never wanting to let go. I placed one hand against the back of her head, holding her just like that for what seemed like forever. We both stayed crying into each other's arms until she gently pulled away.

"I can't believe I have a mama." she laughed through happy tears rolling down her cheeks.

"I can't believe I have a daughter." I laughed back, reaching out to wipe the tears away from her face.

"What're we going to tell the others?" she asked suddenly snapping back into reality, remembering that there were a whole group of people in the living room who had no idea what was going on.

"I think we should tell them together."

"I think so too mama."

I couldn't contain my excitement as that name came out of her mouth, smiling from ear to ear in awe.

"You called me mama."

"Sorry, was that too soon?"

"No, not at all. I love it." I smiled back at her, pulling her in again for another hug, never wanting this moment together to end. After all these years, I had her back in my arms. My baby girl was mine for the first time ever, and I never wanted to let her go again.

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