growth:
"you are terrifying and strange and beautiful. something not everyone knows how to love."
_ _ _
Tayla smiled while resting her hands on her belly as the sun beamed off of her. The sound of the waves crashing behind her brought peace to her. The wind wasn't strong or cold, it was comfortable and blowing the palm trees in the right way.
Chris had a focused expression on his face. He was determined to get these pictures of his wife. The camera in hand captured her beautifully allowing him to take multiple shots.
"Aight, turn ya' head towards me."
"You such a fake photographer." Tayla laughed to herself causing Chris to suck his teeth and roll his eyes. He finger pressed the button allowing the camera to capture the shots off his wife. Taking a few more, he lowered the camera while making his way over to her, flipping through the photos.
"My little model and shit."
"You wish,"
"These turned out good. I should become a photographer in my spare time," He chuckled to himself as he took a seat behind her. Her back against his chest and he bought the camera in front of her so she could see the pictures. "I might get these printed when we move into our new house. Whenever that is,"
"We need to do something about that and fast. We don't have much time before the baby arrive."
"I know. I'm trying." He kissed her cheek and she sighed. Chris set the camera next to them and rested his hands on her stomach. Tayla's stomach was growing by the second, they was positive everyday she got bigger. This just convinced him that they was having a boy. "I got a few open houses lined up once we get back in the states and you already know you welcome to join."
"Definitely. I need to make sure everything is right and feels like home," Tayla sighed, "I'ma definitely miss that house though."
"I mean we can always move back in there and just...renovate it." He tried to be optimistic only for Tayla to scrunch her face up.
"Hell no." She answered quickly.
"Worth a try." He chuckled.
"Sorry but...no. Maybe if you didn't tell me that you fucked her in there, maybe."
"Don't remind me about that," He spoke lowly. Still regretting it. He was going to do to so for the rest of his life.
"But in the meantime, I miss my baby. We should've brought her," Tayla pouted and she could feel herself getting emotional. Chris couldn't do anything but laugh. He knew her hormones were at an all time high lately.
"You said you didn't want her to miss school. Plus she probably having the time of her life with my moms," He spoke and he could hear Tayla sniffle making him chuckle. They've been in Costa Rica for two days now and for the past two days all she's been saying was how badly she missed her child.
"I'mma call her-" Tayla started only for Chris to snatch her phone from her making her face scrunch up. "Hello?"
"Don't go bothering my child, man." He chuckled and setting her phone down aside. "She not even thinking about us so let's not bother her. We'll see her when we get back,"
"Chris-"
"Tay, on everything I love, please leave her be and just enjoy this time together because soon we not going to be able to get this time back for a minute with a newborn for a while and while juggling Ayla in between." He explained and she sighed knowing he was right. They were still going through the motions of welcoming a child and getting their marriage back on track.
This peace and serenity wasn't going to last long.
To be truthful, Tayla was a bit worried having to balance two children at the same time. Growing up an only child, she didn't know how it felt having to share a spotlight with another kid so she definitely didn't want their first born to feel any type of way when they have to tend to a baby instead.
But she knew she could balance a million things at once and was just overthinking.
"You still want five kids?" Tayla asked him and he snickered before nodding.
"Mhm...but we can't all get what we want, huh? I know we got lucky this time around and who knows about another so I'm not even counting on it but I'm with whatever the man upstairs bless us with." He told her as his thumbs rubbed in circles on her belly, soothing her a bit.
"You think she'll feel a way when we have to show the new baby more attention?"
"...Nah," He answered. "You know our baby if anything gonna make sure we know she there. She probably gone want to help us too,"
"Remember when my cousin had her baby and pooped up her back while Ayla was holding her?" They both laughed remembering the memory from Ayla's third birthday party. The traumatic look on her face flashing in both of their minds, "I don't think she'll ever want to hold a baby again."
"She gone get over it." Chris laughed.
The sun was currently setting creating this orange and pink color in the sky giving them a relaxing feeling over their bodies. Chris sat up smiling before standing up holding his out for Tayla to grab onto in which she was grateful for because this stomach she was carrying around was too much for her.
"Come on, let's get ready."
"For?" She asked him and all he did was kiss her cheek and smile as they made their way back to the villa they were renting. "For?! Don't make me ask again."
"That's crazy because I'm still not telling."
-
Tayla's maternity dress fit her like a glove but breathable. She hated maternity clothes to be honest. The first time around she didn't wear them since her stomach wasn't too big and she hated them like stated before but since she couldn't even squeeze into a single piece of her clothing that wasn't sweatpants. She had to do some shopping.
Looking at her reflection, her hands rested on her six months belly feeling the roundness of it as a smile spread on her face.
If you asked if they would be here in January of this year, she would've thought you was crazy.
But nonetheless grateful.
Chris adjusted the button on his shirt as he walked in slowing his tracks seeing her standing there.
"Admiring yourself?" He questioned.
"Something like that." She said now taking both of their reflections in the mirror. He smiled at her and grabbed his cartier bracelet she gifted him from two years ago and placed it on his wrist. "Can't tell if this is luck or not."
"Just appreciate the life we have. It might not go the way we always planned for it to but we still here, still breathing, and still blessed creating lives and shit." He smiled at her reassuring her before placing a kiss on Tayla's lips.
"I still want to do marriage counseling." Tayla said and Chris nodded his head not even going to protest against it. Whatever she wanted to do, he was okay with doing. "I just want us to be 100 percent again and I know right now we're at a good 85 percent."
"I get it. I'm just happy we get the chance to do this. I don't know where the hell I'd be without you in my life anymore." He spoke truthfully and this little conversation reminded Tayla of how they used to be.
Chris used to always blurt out and say he was happy to be married to her.
"Don't talk to me like that, I got a man and a kid." She teased making him chuckle.
"Well, tell his ass to put a ring on it." He played along.
"You tell him." She smiled and waddled out the bathroom making him laugh at her pregnancy walk. "Stop laughing at me." She yelled out only making him laugh more.
"I'm not," Chris snickered while grabbing something that was in his bag and stuff it in his pocket before joining her by the door of their suite. "You got that waddle going on."
Tayla sucked her teeth and rolled her eyes, opening their door and walking out without him. He couldn't help but to laugh quietly at how dramatic she was. Making sure he had the room key, he jogged by next to her seeming she was walking fast and seeing the look on her face let him know she was upset.
"Don't be mad at me."
"Leave me alone," Tayla muttered under her breath as they walked to the dinner they had planned.
"Aw, baby. You mad because I joked about your waddle. It's cute, mama-" He tried to grab her hand only for her to smack his hand away making him laugh and wince at the same time. "Tay,"
"Leave me alone, Christopher."
"You for real mad? What can I do to make it up to you, baby?" He smiled grabbing her hand quickly before she could protest.
"Not a damn thing."
"Word?" He questioned and before she got the chance to argue back they arrived back at the beach where roses was scattered in the shape of a heart.
And they were all her favorite ones as well.
White, Pink, and Cream Roses blended in perfectly together as they lined up surrounding a dinner table in the center along with some candles.
To say Tayla was at a lost of words couldn't even describe it completely.
Chris watched as her face expression changed from annoyed to soft, watching the way her eyes glistened from the tears filling them up and the reflection of the moon shining back down at them.
"You like it?" He asked her wiping a tear that fell as she still couldn't talk. He chuckled to himself and held her hand making sure to be careful considering she was indeed pregnant, as they made their way to the table walking in the sand. Chris pulled a chair out for her and she sat down sniffling away. He smiled and bent down once Tayla took her seat by her side and grabbed a napkin from the table, dabbing her eyes and being careful of her makeup. "Baby, why you crying?"
"This is so," Still at a lost of words, her eyes looked around before landing on him feeling her heart swell and grow warm. "No way you did this."
"I had this planned since we arrived." He spoke still dabbing her face gently from the tears. Her crying finally stopped and Chris took it upon himself to finally take his seat across from her.
The waiter he hired for the night, came over with two mocktails for the both of them followed by an appetizer.
"You're insane." She finally spoke making him laugh. "This is so beautiful, I'm so grateful."
"I'm happy, baby. I just wanted to put a smile on your face. Bring back what we used to have to you,"
"And I appreciate it." She smiled still sniffling. "This reminds me of something though I just can't put my finger on it yet." She spoke taking a sip of her drink.
"I'm sure you'll figure it out but in the meantime," Chris cleared his throat. "I seen the show in Milan from Instagram. It went well so you was stressing for nothing,"
"I know but this was my first one without being there and despite whatever bullshit Symphani and I got going on, I'm happy she was able to do it without me. She's the only person I actually trust to make sure the ship is still afloat without me,"
"You gonna sit down with her again?" Chris questioned and she shrugged.
"I'd like to... maybe we can have an actual civil conversation that doesn't involve her bashing you," That made herself laugh not believing how long her friend held some type of animosity towards the father of her kid(s) over a lie.
She wished Symphani would've told her how she was feeling years ago before Tayla walked down the aisle towards him, not that that would've changed the situation they was in now anyways.
And she felt that her problem with her friend could also be a big part in helping them with going to marriage counseling as well still.
"I want you and her to get back to that place, it's only right. Especially since she the godmother of our kid."
"I know," Tayla sighed. "But enough about that, I think I want another vacation home."
Chris chuckled and used his fork to pick up some food from their appetizer, "The Miami home not enough for you?"
"No, it is." She pleaded. "But...I like mountain homes too,"
"Oh?" He laughed seeing her expression which only made her giggle. "Since when?"
"Since yesterday, Colorado is very pretty in the winter with all the snow and the mountains I seen in this one video. Imagine how happy our babies would be celebrating Christmas there every year especially since it doesn't snow in California."
"Baby, we could just go to Big Bear or Lake Tahoe-"
"I said Colorado." Tayla spoke sternly making him smirk and raise his hands defensively.
"Heard you. Happy wife, happy life."
"Yeah but I'm not your wife." She smiled taking another sip staring at him. He smiled at her, only shaking his head in return. "Happy....mother of your children, Happy life."
"You got jokes," He snickered.
"I've heard."
The waiter came back over with their actual meals that Chris preordered for them. He placed the meal down in front of Tayla and her eyebrows immediately furrowed as Chris watched wondering if she was going to connect the dots or not.
"Chris," Was the only thing that left her lips as she stared at her food, the drink, the appetizer, and the setting they were in. Her mouth opened and closed as her eyes watered again and the only thing she could do was place her head in her hands.
Reaching across the table, his hand grabbed hers trying to stop her from crying.
"This look familiar to you?" He questioned wiping her tears again and she just continued making him laugh breathlessly. "The food, the roses, the beach?"
"You actually recreated our engagement night?" She asked him and he nodded smiling.
The two got engaged in Costa Rica in this exact setting with this exact food on the table. It was their anniversary and Chris felt it was finally time for the two of them to become one in which he proposed.
"I was waiting for you to peep it." He smiled and she wiped her eyes, shaking her head. "What?"
"I thought you would've gave up after the divorce." She sighed making him frown a bit. "I thought you would've agreed to weekends only or the 3 days to four with Ayla schedule, live your life as a single man in LA, enjoy being rich and all that but no. Instead, you did the complete opposite of what I thought. You literally chased after me for months, proving to me that you were still capable of being my husband, best friend, shoulder to cry on, and father of my kids."
"I already told you I wouldn't know where the hell I would've been without you in my life. We been in this too long for me to just agree and just let you go like that. I acknowledged my wrongs and my behavior and wanted to make up for it. I didn't say those vows for nothing that day, sure I unfortunately went against them but they still in my heart and I still believed in them." Chris started as Tayla continued to wiped her tears, he reached out to grab her left hand in his right one. "All I wanna do is get back to that couple we were just a year ago and I understand we got a few ways to go to there but I still know all I want is continue to wake up and go to sleep next to you every day, to take turns picking up our kids and dropping them off at school, going on family vacations still to Colorado now." He said causing her to chuckle as he smiled.
"Tayla, it's been you since we were in college, since we got separated during college and after college, it's been you now. It's killing me everyday since we signed them papers that you weren't my wife anymore and I wasn't your husband and I want to get back to that if you let me take us there however we need to do it." Chris pulled the ring out his pocket as her tears immediately started to fall. He opened the jewelry box for her to see as the ring that was slightly bigger than her original engagement ring but also resembled it shined back at her. "Will you marry me, again?"
Nodding her head and not being able to get a word, she continued to cry happy tears as he let out a breath of relief and slid the ring on her left hand.
"I thought you was going to say no." He chuckled to himself while standing up from his seat and giving her a long kiss exchanging the love between them.
"Why the hell would I do that?"
"Because who would actually take someone like me back?" He quesioned, knowing if he was in her position, he would've probably buried him alive but grateful she didn't.
"Me. You're so beautiful and so good of a man that only I know you can be which is why I still had faith a bit."
"I'm happy you did." Chris gave her another kiss. "I was finna die without you,"
"Dramatic."
"I'm being deadass." He spoke truthfully before sitting back down in his seat as she laughed and waved him off.
"Our baby is gonna be shocked when we get back." Tayla spoke looking at her new ring on her finger.
"She already knows." He answered her and Tayla's eyes widened. "She was with me when I got it."
"You managed a five year old like her to keep a secret?" He chuckled and nodded proudly. "She must get that from you because that's insane."
"Oh, see now you got jokes for real." He said with a straight face only making her laugh now.
"No but seriously. Cheers to you for pulling this off without me knowing again, I would've expected her to tell me."
"You know she's gonna be ecstatic to actually be in the wedding the many times she's watched our wedding video already." Chris smiled thinking about having not just one but soon two of their creations be able to witness the love they shared with one another.
Tayla hummed and finally started to eat her food satisfying not only hers but the growing being in her stomach cravings as well. "Wish I wasn't pregnant, I would've pounced on you by now." She blurted out making him smile.
"I mean...I won't stop you if you try. We recreating our engagement night after all, right?" He smirked as she just stared at him reminiscing on everything they did that night, of course, her not being able to do everything she did that night but he was also giving her an invitation.
"Yeah... let's hurry up and finish this food,"