••:So It Begins:••
••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
I shove my phone back in my pocket after seeing a text from Aria, asking where I went. I shove my hands in my pockets and walk the rest of the way into town, deciding that going into a few shops and doing some shopping can't hurt. I can't steal anything that Haley would want for her birthday. Not here at least.
There aren't many shops that carry toys around here, only on figure eight.
The bell above the door dings as I push the door open. My nose being filled with the smell of cinnamon. I suppose I'd say this is my favorite shop on the cut. In the tiny small excuse of a 'town' this is but at least it's something and I'm not getting side eyes and sneers from everyone because I look what I am..a pogue.
"Welcome in!" The old lady behind the counter greets me with a warm smile, her glasses barley balancing on the tip of her nose. She's always so sweet and you can tell she does her best to keep this shop nice.
It may be used clothes but everything is always nice and folded and smells like cinnamon. She hand tags everything with a safety pin and bow. It makes me feel bad to..take things but sometimes you have to help yourself when you don't have the luxury of ever having a penny.
I give her a smile before walking around the shop, half pretending to look around and half trying to spy what will be an easy grab.
My eyes scan the front of the store as I move behind a rack that hide a stand with jewelry. Seeing the lady is helping someone up front. I waste no time grabbing up a few beaded bracelets, some with charms and some with just tumbled stones on an elastic string, real or not, there's someone on the cut who will buy it. I zip up the pocket of my hoodie. It's my favorite hoodie for that reason, the pockets zip so nothing falls out..
I slip a few rings over my fingers, shoving my hand into the butt pocket of my jeans and letting them slide off into it. Once almost all of my pockets are full without being noticeable, I move across the shop to another rack of clothes before grabbing a random shirt up. "You wouldn't happen to have this is a small would you?" I ask the lady, holding it up for her to see. A sorry expression covers her face making me feel like shit. "Everything is donated so no, I usually don't have multiples" she shakes her and I slightly pout my lip before putting it back on the rack. "That's alright" I tell her before moving towards the door. "Have a nice day" she tells me.
I almost feel nauseous by the time I'm out the door. Some people deserve to be stolen from but not an old lady like that who works so hard and probably still doesn't have much if she's still here on the cut..She just makes it so easy, and she's never paying enough attention to catch you. She's probably not even aware that people are stealing right in front of her, she's too innocently minded to think that people are bad.
"Reggie" I greet a friend as I move over to the bar, ignoring the sets of eyes pouring into me. Mostly older men who certainly don't have good intentions. I suddenly want nothing more than to leave.
"What's up Lily?" He greets me as he pours an older man a drink. "Help a girl out?" I smile at him and he rolls his eyes. "I should have known you didn't just come to say hi to me"
"Aw I did, Hi" I tell him and he shakes his head, his eyes scanning the other bar tenders before he turns back to me. "Mini fridge under the bar, be quick" he tells me before moving to pour another drink further down the bar.
I scurry around the side, ducking down before plucking a bottle of vodka out of the fridge, about a third of the way full before playfully saluting Reggie and practically running out the door.
It's dark by the time I make it back to the entrance of the woods and the route back to my neighborhood. I'm tampering with my safety tonight for sure, not only half I drank almost half of the vodka, having to throw the bottle down in a bush to stop myself from poisoning my liver and finishing it, but it's dark and these woods aren't safe during the day. Nowhere is safe on the cut. Crawling with meth heads and dealers, looking for more than people to sell to or buy from.
The trees covering the sky makes it seem even darker, the smell of wet leaves and mud fills my nose and that odd but familiar scent of the night..I don't know how to describe it, it just smells..dark. Expert during summer than it smells warm and comforting. Like it's telling you to sleep and the sun will rise in the morning and fill the sky for you to have another summer day to tuck away.
My mouth taste bitter from the alcohol, almost making my nose burn. Sometimes I forget how alcohol only drives me to want something else and that sometimes else is usually some drug I can find..something I haven't used yet.
The faint pain of a headache knocks at the back of my skull, I usually get one after drinking. My mind feels foggy but I can still thing, that warmth in the bottom of my throat is still present.
Maybe I don't forget, maybe I know and just don't care.
I care very little about myself anymore. That stopped after the accident. Ella and Tiffany would be so disappointed in how I've mistreated myself and my health, they'd be on it, watching me and making sure I took care of myself..but they aren't here.
My nose starts to sting, my ears filled with the crunch of sticks and leaves beneath my steps. I scrunch my nose trying not to cry but my vision starts to blur.
I don't cry anymore, not often anyways. I hate it. I cried so much for so long it was a prison. I think I cried so much I broke something. Maybe that's why I can hardly muster a tear even if I want to now. But occasionally, my nose will sting and my eyes will gloss over at memories that sting worse than a wasp bite. Buts that's it, that's as far as it goes before I stop it.
The quiet becomes less and less loud the further I walk. The sounds of cars driving and an alarm going off in the distance replaces it. At least being so in my head distracted me from worrying about being abducted on my walk home. I can see the road from here, the sorry excuses for houses that start at the neighborhood.
I don't have time to scream before my body is chucked to the side, pressure applied to my arms and then my back is slammed into something hard. "Let me go!" I shout, the words tearing through my throat painfully. "I really don't think anyone around here cares about a girl screaming in the woods" a voice speaks, a deep voice..a deep familiar voice. It all happens so fast I hadn't had time to see who is was. Looking up in the darkness, nothing but the moonlight breaking through the trees, shining on his face and reflecting off of his eyes.. Rafe
Somehow my brain tells my body to panic more now than a minute ago when I thought I was being attacked.
I can feel the sickening knot twist in my stomach as it falls, maybe disappears is a better word, it feels as if it isn't there at all, just a dark empty hole. My chest begins to beat up and down as my lungs fight for air. "Rafe.." I breathe. I always admired his eyes, aside from my hatred and fear of him.
They're beautiful. I think most people would describe blue eyes as crystal like but his always reminded me more of pools of water that the sun was reflecting off of, making it almost appear to glow. They're color runs deep, they're captivating to look at. Aside from who he is, they have a softness to them.
But tonight they're dark. Either from the night or his intent.
"Walking alone at night? That's brave of you Alilia, especially given you're current situation" he tells me, his fingers pressing deeper into my arms, pushing my back harder into the tree. "Get off of me" I tell him, trying to push myself forward with the only force I can muster but he only shoves me back, harder than he needs to. I cry out as my wrist smacks the tree as he pins it down, making tears sting my eyes. I knew this would come. I knew he'd come after me, I just didn't expect he'd know to wait here. That was stupid..He's Rafe, he knows everything before you even know it yourself. He's smart, scary smart..
"I wouldn't try that princess, you'll lose" In the dark I can see the evil grin that dances across his lips, becoming aware of how close he is to me. Close enough to feel the heat of his body. I hate him. If I could slip free I could run, I'm a fast runner, but his legs have miles on mine. His sixth four height is nothing compared to mine at five three. I might be able to lose him in the darkness of the forest though..maybe. It's run or die, but if he catches me I'm sealing my death anyways.
I've never regretted buying from him or having anything to do with him more than I do now. What was I thinking? Making a deal with Rafe Cameron? It's bound to end in fire and fear.
"I knew you'd come after me" I tell him, trying to calm myself. Relaxing my body despite the alarms going off in my brain. If I soften into his pressure maybe he'll let up, not on purpose but naturally. I can get away then.
I do my best to find my composure, maybe not seem so scared and vulnerable. "It's a bit late though don't you think? This doesn't really go along with you're you have until tonight warning you gave the other day" I tell him watching his eyes flicker between mine. "You think so?" He asks with a smirk, something about his expression sitting funny with me. Like he knows something I don't. My nose being filled with the scent of his cologne, I hate that I don't hate the way it smells. I can feel the subtle relaxation click into his hold, my heart pounding viscously behind my ribs, the sound of it assaulting my ears. Shegod if you're there..help me now..
I muster every ounce of strength I have, flicking my shoulders from his grasp as I fling my body to the side, a high pitched grunt leaving my lips my feet finding traction against the wet forest ground as I run. Pumping my legs as fast as they'll physically let me.
"Oh princess bad idea" he shouts, an amused laugh breathlessly leaving his mouth, filling the silence of the forest.
The flesh of my throat burns as an ache forms in the bottom. My cheeks ice cold with the chilling air slapping against them as I run. My sharp breathing piercing my ears mixed with the sound of crunching leaves under my feet. I can't hear him behind me but that doesn't mean he isn't right at my feet.
My kneecaps burn hot, rubbing against my bone with friction, sending a splintering pain up my legs.
I take several turns around trees, dipping around a dead hanging branch as it scratches my cheek. The leaves violently whipping my skin. Only the mercy of the moonlight allowing me to see.
My hand slams over my mouth as I finally come to a halt, my shoes skidding against the soft wet dirt as I plant my feet. My shoulders rising and falling as my ribs ache, contracting to let my lungs expand painfully, my brain screaming for me to suck in the air but I can't. I can't risk making any noise.
Instead I slip my fingers open, keeping my palm over my lips; not trusting myself to drop it or I won't have the control to keep it shut. I take in short jagged breaths through my nose. My heart pounding so hard it physically hurts, tightening the arteries as my pulse assaults my throat.
My eyes jump around the openness of where I've ended up. Scanning around for any sign of him but I see nothing. I turn in several circles, not trusting that I didn't see him. The darkness of trees surrounding me. The moonlight barley peeking through the tops as it reflects off the leaves.
I excruciatingly hold my breath, trying to hear for any sound but the sputtering pound of my heart in my ears makes it hard.
The sound of a twig snapping has me gasping as I step back crashing into something hard as a sharp cry leaves my lips.
"Who are we looking for?" His voice sends a wave of panic through my system, adrenaline flooding in and bleeding through my veins, his hot breath against my ear as he speaks tauntingly low. A malevolent laugh leaving his throat. This is exhilarating to him. "Oh me?" He snickers jeeringly; amused with his own sick humor.
I scream as his arms wrap around my body, lifting me with ease despite my kicking and attempts to thrash my body around.
"You look ridiculous" he tells me, the smirk in his tone is undeniable. As he flips me around, my hands gripping his shirt as I yank and kick.
The wind being knocked from my body as he throws me to the ground. Breath being depleted from my lungs as a breathless cry leaves me lips. The softness of the wet soil being the only thing to show me mercy.
Apparently shegod has her headphones in..
"Let me go" I cough as he drops to his knees, crawling over my motionless body. I can't move, only tremble. I already fucked up by running from him, not only was that the worst thing I could have done..at least to only end up being caught but now my body is depleted of energy. I have no chance in fighting back.
"Uh no?" He says, disgust and taunt in his voice before he smirks. In the darkness of the forest I can see his eyes glimmer with something dark, something evil. "You shouldn't have done that" he grins, his perfectly straight teeth peaking through his lips, the moon reflecting off their white surfaces.
A sharp yelp leaves my mouth as he gathers my wrists into his large hand, slamming them above my head within a mere second before I can even comprehend it. Sinking into the wet dirt as I feel cold moisture soak through my shirt, bleeding onto my skin. Disgusting me but the cold helps combat my sizzling nerves.
"I don't have your money" I tell him my breath coming out in a short shaking huffs, my chest heaving up and down as my skin tightens painfully around my ribs, expanding too far to suck in oxygen.
"Oh I know" he grins and I narrow my eyes in confusion but it quickly fades. Of course he'd only be here to torture me, I knew this all along. The alcohol in my system is just making my brain slow.
"I don't have you're money Rafe" I repeat. He only wears a malice filled smirk, pulling at his full lips and showing off the smile lines kissing the corners of his mouth his grip tightens on my wrists before he reaches somewhere between us. The sounding of metal flicking open has my eyes widening and the blood draining from my face. My already tight and short coming breath coming to a halt as it catches between my tongue and throat.
Pulling his hand up as the light peaking through the trees bounces off the blade of a knife, sharp and shiny. The black blade dancing with a the glow of the moon as if it's taunting me, having me already wincing at only the look of it. my voice is frail and uneven as I try to keep my breathing steady but I can't. My fingertips shake under the way he has my wrists pinned down. My lips quiver, breathing through my nose that can't keep up with the labor of my breaths. I'm
terrified. His eyes flicker to it as he holds it tightly in his hand, watching it as if it's his most prized possession.
What a psycho
"Don't you think I know a filthy excuse of a person like you wouldn't have the capability to scrap your debt together? Even with the extension I so kindly gave you" he tells me, his eyes flickering from the blade to me, his lips pulled tightly into a smirk that makes my stomach coil into knots. His words don't hurt..maybe they do but it's nothing compared to what I've felt and the fear coursing through my veins. It simply bounces off the surface.
I only lie frozen, pinned beneath him; watching his eyes watch me as he smirks and grins like this is amusing to him..It is. It's exhilarating, so much so that I can practically feel it illuminating off of his skin.
I'm not sure what to say; if I could even speak clearly or at all right now. All of my energy is being utilized to keep me breathing or maybe my brain is packing any I have left away it case I need to fight back..although I know I wouldn't stand a chance against him. I was given one chance by the universe to get away and I blew it. I certainly have no chance no, pinned between his huge sculpted body that would crush me if he set his weight down.
His arms are the size of my legs squished up against each other. He isn't just tall, he's fit. He has muscle for miles. I wouldn't have to wonder if he works out, no one would. You can simply tell with one look. It's hard to see past the hatred for him but even with it I can't deny his body is..gorgeous. He's enticing to say the least. But he's cruel, he's mean, he's plain evil he finds hurting me amusing and whoever else wrongs him, even those who don't.
"So what's your plan then?" I ask, my words shaky and broken, my throat fighting to allow me to speak, so tight it's painful to breathe. Trying to tune out the knife taunting me in his grasp. Glittering with moon light as he twirls it around, so confident he won't slip and cut himself or maybe he doesn't care.
Without thinking twice I kick my legs, thrashing my back off the ground in hopes it may throw him off at the suddenness and maybe I can roll out from under him.
"Stop having a seizure" He says with a roll of his eyes, before flicking the knife back into his grasp, leaning forward as his grasp crushes my wrists.
The sharp cold metal tickling the sensitive skin of my throat. As my breath hitches and my body falls paralyzed. My eyes widening in horror as I watch him; pressing the blade deeper into my throat as I wince at the pressure, until I have no choice but to halt my breathing in fear one little soft movement will let the blade slip and cut me.
"You're just going to hurt me then? Will that fill the void of the money you've lost on me?"
He only stays expressionless for a moment before he yet again..grins. I'm not sure anything fazes him. He knows he's powerful so why would anything faze him?
"As amusing as it would be to watch you hurt.." he trails off, dragging the blade up under my chin as the point digs into my skin, not cutting the skin but it'll certainly leave a pin prick bruise, forcing my eyes back to his. "Your of other use to me" he tells me. It takes me a moment of repeating what's he's said in my head to understand what he means but still I'm lost. "What?"
This time he laughs at my confusion, his fingertips fluctuating around my pinned wrists making me suddenly aware of how hard he's squeezing and how bad the one hurts from hitting it on the tree earlier. The vibration of his malice filled laughter etches the point of the knife around my skin. That'll leave a bruise if it hasn't already.
"Surprised huh?, finding any use in you at all almost seems impossible doesn't it?" He asks.
"Would you care to explain without the insulting commentary? It might make it a little less confusing" I tell him, feeling oddly calmer that he's said he isn't going to hurt me..Despite the knife he's quite literally holding to my throat. I'm not even sure why I believe a word he says. Again he laughs, the moon light bounces off his teeth. Such perfect teeth, I wish I had the money for ones like that. Mine are fine..but not porcelain like, like his.
"What would be better than getting my money out of you? Then I'd just have to leave you alone wouldn't I?" He tells me and I listen in confusion, trying to find where he's going with this but I can't. Feeling dizzy from the lack of oxygen I'm receiving, still keeping my breathing fragile to avoid the sharp slicing of the blade. I turn my face to the side to relieve the pressure.
"Still not getting it? Using you" He leans forward, pressing the side of the knife flat against my jaw, forcing my face back.
What? Maybe I'm drunker than I thought, I have no idea what he means. Maybe I'm just in shock that he hasn't tried to kill me yet. "It's quite a hassle finding someone to fuck when I want, I never know where they've been. It would be so much easier just having a..designated fuck" his voice is lower with the last words as he leans in closer and I try to move my head away but I can't. I'm trapped between him and the knife.
I feel my stomach fall and the blood drain from my face as it clicks. Clicks into place like a puzzle being put together. Suddenly the blade etched into my throat is the least of my concerns. I think I might vomit..
"You want me to sleep with you?" My question makes him snicker adding to my nausea. How can harassing someone bring someone so much amusement?
"No" I say, trying to wriggle away once again but I'm slammed back down with a cough. "Rafe stop" I plead as he flips the knife around, pressing the razor shape edge into my through and, stinging a line into my skin but somehow not piercing it.
"I'm sorry did I not make myself clear? It's not an option Alilia" he tells me and I feel my adrenaline painfully pump through my veins.
"Why? Why out of everything would you want me to have sex with you? What happened to thinking I'm filthy?"
"It isn't about sex Alilia, it's about getting to watch you have to do what I say, what I want, when I want it without a choice" He leans in, supporting his weight by pushing into his grasp crushing my wrists, holding himself above me, his knees encaging my body. I can feel the warmth of his breath against my lips; smell is hot musky scent, like leather and pine and a hint of smoke.
"You're sick" I breathe, feeling as if I may pass out. Almost wishing I will. I don't know what he'd do with me if I did but right now I don't care I just want away from him.
"Do you think I care what you say?"
"I'm not doing that" I say, whipping my head to the side when he grabs my jaw, holding the knife in the same palm as the cold metal handle digs into my skin, getting in my face and forcing me to look at him, so close I can feel his breath against my lips.
"Refuse and you'll regret it..you have sisters don't you? Maybe I'll pay them a visit" he tells me and my heart drops. Anger bubbling under my skin and I want to scream. I hate him, I hate him so much. So fucking much I hate him. Tears well up in my eyes as I grit my teeth behind my lips pressing them into a tight line. A malice filled smirk tugs at the corner of his mouth, his lips dancing with an evil grin as he gets his way.
"That's what I thought" he smirks, speaking in a tauntingly low tone, releasing my jaw and then my wrists and I suck in the air, now free of the blade. I expect to want to jump up and run but I don't, I just lie frozen not even pulling away when he pulls my phone from the front pocket of my jeans. Sitting back on his heals, still caging me in with his dark denim covered knees. "I guess you'll need my number" he tells me, tossing my phone on the wet ground, beside my head a moment later and I flinch.
A cry climbing up my throat when he aggressively grips my jaw and jerks my head back to look at him.
He icy blue eyes filled with a dark and malice filled gaze; glowing with a pain inducing intent.
"If I call, you come do you understand me?" He asks and I nod after a moment feeling like I'm in a dystopian novel or something. He stands; towering over my limp body as he smirks down at me.
"You're my property now, I own you" he tells me, stepping over my head as he walks away. Leaves crunching and twigs snapping under his feet.
I don't know how much times passes before I muster the energy to sit up, the backside of my clothes soaking wet and dirty. Reaching up and feeling all over my throat and chin; searching for pain but find none.. He didn't cut me.
I pull myself up, standing in the dark woods frozen, trying to process it all but I can barley think or breathe.
I grab my phone up off the ground before walking as quickly back to my house as I can. Using the side door to my bedroom to avoid Aria or my mother hearing me come inside. One or both of them will come into my room later and see I'm here. They won't need to worry all night once they do.
My body is filled with overwhelming amount of pressure, boiling from anger. Anger that he gets to do this and I can't do anything about it. There's no one to tell that could help. I can't tell JJ or the pogues or even Sarah and involve them? Not that that would stop him.
Making a deal with him in the first place is what started this whole mess and now hear I am again in another deal with Rafe Cameron.
I pace around my room, feeling nausea build. I want to scream but I can't. I stretch my hands out, clenching and balling my fists as my eyes start to sting, tears welling up and falling down my face as I start to sob.
So much for not being a crier anymore. I drop to my knees behind my bed, falling to my butt as I sob and rock back and forth trying to relieve the pressure although I can't pinpoint where it is, it's just all over and it's painful.
Something red catches my eyes, from the surface of my dresser and I snatch it up.
Tears streaming down my face as I turn the syringe over in my hand, my eyes glue to the red strip wrapped around it. Staring at it in my hand in confusion as the tears keep coming and coming, wondering what the red means. Still having no idea where it came from.
Hey guys!! This chapter was so hard to write! I'm not sure exactly what but trying to write it the way I pictured and the interaction between Alilia and Rafe in this chapter was difficult to write the way I wanted but I hope you it turned out okay! Let me know what you think! Thanks for reading!!💗