Seonghwa:
I tried to spend as much time as possible with Hongjoong. After all, I wanted him to know that I would always be there for him. I wanted him to trust me and depend on me. But that wasn't easy to accomplish. I had to bare my teeth and put all my effort into it. I felt the need to be there for him. Not only because he had helped me in the past. But because I loved him, with my whole heart. Hongjoong deserved to be loved to regain his emotions and experience real life. It hurt me deeply when I watched him suffer.
...
Hongjoong and I decided to study at my place. At some point, we agreed to take turns at whose place we were going to study. And it was my turn to host us. It wasn't much of a progress, but it was enough. Having Hongjoong willingly spend time with me was a good sign. Small, but important steps.
At home, we studied in my bedroom. We did so because my computer was there. I sat at my desk as Hongjoong made himself comfortable on my bed. I kept glancing at him, sitting on my bed. Just the thought of it made me imagine some unholy things. But I had to keep my cool. We were there to study and maybe cuddle after. Only, if Hongjoong wanted to. Anyway, I returned my attention to the project in front of me. We had to finish our work as soon as possible. As they were the last projects for the semester. Soon, we got fully absorbed into our work.
At some point, I heard a soft breathing coming from behind me. Hongjoong had fallen asleep. It was as expected, as we'd been working for a couple hours. I couldn't blame him. I myself felt a little tired. His sleeping in my bed was better for me. I could cuddle him through the night. I decided to grab the chance and turned off my PC. Then I went to him, moved away his laptop and took my place beside him. Once in my bed, I stroked his hair, placed a kiss on his forehead and cuddled him. In a couple of minutes, I was asleep beside him. But right before I drifted away, I felt Hongjoong move closer to me, snuggling his face on my chest.
Hongjoong:
I found myself at a familiar scene. The playground. Swinging alone in the middle of the grey, cold park. I was waiting. Waiting for the faceless people to come to me. Yet, instead of them came someone else. It was Seonghwa. Just as before, he got surrounded by light and colours. I could see how, with every step closer, he spread the light around us. Every step coloured the ground under his feet. As the distance shortened, I could feel the warmth radiating from him. Now, Seonghwa was in front of me. He reached out his hand towards me. I was hesitant, yet in the end, I took it. It was warm, and I was freezing. Seonghwa then pulled me into a hug. I could feel my body warming up. It was good and soft. It had been years since I felt such warmth.
After some time, Seonghwa took my hand once again and pulled me. I followed him. We walked through the park. And Seonghwa was constantly turning my way to ensure I was following him. I did. And I watched how everything around him was taking the colours he spread. It was the first time I've seen my dreams being colourful.
...
Seonghw in my dreams didn't say even work, but I didn't need it. Just watching him made me know what he wanted to say and do. We followed the path ahead of us, leading us to the Han River. There we sat on the river bank. Seonghwa leaned his head on my shoulder. We were holding hands. He gave me some of his warmth.
Seonghwa moved from his position, his hand now on my face. His sparkling eyes were looking into mine. Then Seonghwa placed a soft kiss on my forehead. His lips were so warm, a lot warmer than his hands. I stared at his lips. They formed the words 'I love you'. That was when I woke up.
I was all alone in Seonghwa's room. The clock across the room showed me the time at 11:17 pm. It wasn't even midnight. It meant that I'd been sleeping for the past three hours. And Hwa was nowhere to be seen. Maybe he slept in the living room? So I decided to check on him. Yet, he wasn't there either. The living room was empty. I looked around and saw the slight line of light peeking under the bathroom door. I decided to wait for him. So I returned to the bedroom, and collected my things. Then sat on the bed and waited for Seonghwa.
Seonghwa took a long time before he returned to the bedroom. It was long enough to make me sleepy. His room was somehow calming and warm. I was about to fall asleep once again when he came back. Hwa wore only a towel around his waist. I could see the water dripping down his naked body. As I watched him, my body reacted on its own, and I blushed some. I had to admit Seonghwa was working out, and it showed. Once he caught my gaze, he grinned wide.
"I thought you were still sleeping," Hwa spoke.
"I woke up about twenty minutes ago," I responded, looking at my feet.
Seonghwa nodded before moving to his dresser. He put on his underwear and removed his towel. I watched away as he wiped his body dry. And then, he put on some pyjamas. Seonghwa got on the bed, lying next to me. He looked the same way he did in my dreams.
"I'm going home," I blurted out, ready to leave.
"Why don't you stay over?" Hwa asked me. "It's late."
Seonghwa got a point. It was late, and I was getting sleepy. But I had no idea what could happen if I stayed over. I had to choose between driving home in that condition or staying and having him by my side. I decided to stay instead of returning to my cold apartment. Seonghwa then gave me one of his pyjamas. I tried to protest, but he insisted on me wearing it. It was a little big, yet, comfy.
Seonghwa:
I couldn't sleep much, so, I went for a nice cold shower. The idea of Hongjoong sleeping by my side was tempting me. I would never do anything bad to him. But I wanted to lock him up and keep him by my side. The best for both of us was to take a shower and calm down. By the time I had returned, Hongjoong was awake. He waited for me, half asleep on my bed. When he saw me, Joong took a good look at my body, blushing to the side of it. That made me happy, and I couldn't hide it. I grinned. Now, I wanted him to stay even stronger.
We spoke for a bit after I got dressed up. Joong told me that, he wanted to leave, but I quickly convinced him to stay. It was to my advantage the late hour and that he was sleepy. Hongjoong listened to me and stayed over for the night. I gave him clothes, despite his protest to sleep only in his underwear. But if he stayed almost naked, that would be too dangerous for me. As he changed his clothes, I got a better look, at his body and tattoos. The more I looked at them, the more I noticed slight scaring underneath the dark ink. I couldn't hold back and traced my fingers over one of his tattoos. I could feel the scar texture under my fingers. The scar had been placed on the lower part of his neck. It was a fine line, hard to see. It was thanks to the tattoo ink. But I managed to notice it. To my touch, Hongjoong shivered. He pulled from me, looking me in the eyes. He was scared. Like a wild animal. I had to calm him down.
"I'm sorry, Joong. I shouldn't have," I said in a calm voice.
"It's alright," he responded.
"Will you tell me bout those?" I asked further.
Hongjoong then looked at me with hesitation. But he took my hand and led it to another scar on his body. It was under another tattoo. This time, the scar was a lot longer than the previous one. His hand was slightly shaking as he led me. I could see the worries written on his face.
"I tried to take my life," Joong told me quietly.
"Why?"
"Because of my classmates," he answered shortly.
"Do you have more scars like that?"
Hongjoong nodded to my question. He held my hand even stronger, leading it to another tattoo. Joong showed me a lot of scars that way. There were a lot of them. Some were in places I couldn't see. Joong explained that his parents paid for some laser treatments, but the scars never went away completely, so he covered them with ink. The way Hongjoong remained calm while explaining. It made me sad. I was ready to cry. What kind of monster could push him to do that? How could they do that to another living being?
All of that made me wonder how Hongjoong managed to survive that. I only could guess how hard it was for him. And how strong was Hongjoong to stay alive despite everything? Being all alone, against the evil injustice of this world. But it wasn't for free. It took a toll on him because he had lost his emotions.
I felt the tears filling my eyes. I needed to hug him, and I did. I hugged him tight. I wanted to show him that he was no longer alone. I would be there for him no matter what happened in the future. My hot tears fell on his skin. But Joong never pulled away from me. He remained still in my hug.
"Hwa, I can't breathe," Hongjoong mumbled at some point. He helped me realize how strong I was clenching onto him.
"Sorry," I apologized.
Once I released Hongjoong, he gently wiped my tears. We then lay down, and he opened his arms for me. I couldn't believe that he was offering me a hug. In the end, Joong was the one comforting me. But I took the chance and hugged him, laying my head on his chest. Even if Joong refused to act as my boyfriend, he was kind enough to do it anyway. And in return, I was there to love him. Even if he couldn't return my emotions, it didn't matter.
"Can you tell me more about your past?" I asked him.
"Another time, or else you won't be able to sleep," Hongjoong responded, placing a kiss, on top of my head. "Let's sleep."