"The world just kept turning, I never forgave it for that."
- Ben Breadon
~~~~
New
A year ago today, Earth informed me that he had been chosen to be a model. I was overjoyed, but when he revealed that his job would be in Paris, I became emotional and cried. Crying is something I seem to be good at.
Jokes aside, my heart was broken for a second time. I wasn't prepared for a long-distance relationship, but reminiscing about Earth reminds me that he's worth it.
Hearing his voice and seeing him smile through the screen makes all the hurt disappear in a moment. Having him hold me in his ears makes all my doubts fade away.
Eventually, I got used to this long-distance thing. Every kiss is a smile waiting to happen. Each goodbye is a reminder of how precious every minute is with him. I love him, and he's worth the distance because I know one day we will be together, and distance will be a thing of the past.
Earth bore a scar on his hip, which reminded him of his childhood encounters with swim fins. He is an excellent swimmer. On our first night together as lovers, I kissed the scar and he let out a deep sigh. He asked me how I knew exactly where he wanted to be touched, as no one had ever touched him there before.
Our romance was like a healing balm, mending every old wound with its magical powers until they were all tended to. We existed outside of time, tending to each other's injuries, sharing all our stories, and becoming fortified and ready to face the future together, hand in hand.
Earth came over today wanting to apologize to Dad for the other day, but this was a white lie so he could see me. As he stood by the window, I approached, gave him a back hug, and we ended up facing each other. Half-dressed in boxer briefs, we were not intimate but rather in that state as I had fallen asleep like that. Earth simply discarded his shirt, citing the heat.
"Earth," I whispered.
"Yes, baby?"
I lifted my pinky towards him, and he intertwined it with his. I teased, "Don't you want to know what we're promising about?"
He replied, "I'll promise you anything, darling."
"Without hesitation?"
"Without hesitation," he affirmed, grinning.
I kissed him lightly. "I have a bad feeling-"
"No, Newwiee-"
"Please listen to me. Yesterday, Aunt Ann overheard our conversation and seemed to suspect that I was keeping something from her. When I came out of the room, she made it clear that she would not allow us to be together. I sense that they may take action. Like," I paused, placing my hands on his shoulders, and he pulled me closer by my waist.
He chuckled in response. "Like... Advance the date of your wedding?"
I sighed. "Yes. Maybe." Given my father's determination, I envisioned the worst-case scenario.
His laughter faded as he realized the seriousness of my words. "That won't happen, Newwiee. But if it does..."
I asked him directly, "Would you wait for me if that happens?"
He reassured me, "Take all the time you need. I will wait."
His words stirred a profound emotion within me. "Why?" I questioned. No one had ever been willing to wait for me before. It baffled me.
"Because you are my everything. Whether it happens today, tomorrow, in a year, or decades from now, I will always be here for you."
I initiated the kiss once again and he tightened his hands on my waist. My hands instinctively tangled in his curls. The kiss was everything I needed in that moment. It was reassuring, intimate, and safe - a place to call home.
He gently kissed my neck, causing me to tilt my head back for better access. I winced at the mixed sensations of pleasure and pain as he sucked on my collarbone. He then returned to my lips, and we kissed until we ran out of breath.
As he pulled back, his fingers followed the trail of his sucking. "I left a mark on you... Now you belong to me completely," he declared with a smirk. I brushed off his playfulness, telling him to be quiet.
"Pink looks great on your skin," he said, leaning in to kiss me. I pushed him away and smacked his head.
"Ouch! Why did you do that?" He asked, rubbing his head.
"You bruised my beautiful skin!"
He looked offended. "I gave you a love bite, Newwiee. It's not bruising."
I bit my lip to stifle a laugh. Over the years, I learned that I could make Earth panic at any time. Except for his muscular build, he panicked easily. I suppressed my amusement.
"I'm so sorry, Newwiee. Did I cause you harm?" He assisted me to the bed and returned with a medical kit.
"I was joking, Earth. You did not harm me. I love the love bites. Please refrain from applying anything to it. I wish for it to remain on my skin," I stated with a shake of my head.
Earth embraced me and expressed, "I have hurt you before. I do not wish to do so again."
"Earth." I reassured him, "But, trust me, I'm fine. No harm done." I appreciated his concern, but I didn't want to make a big deal out of it. Love bites were harmless, and I didn't mind them at all.
He looked into my eyes, trying to gauge my sincerity. Eventually, he let out a small smile and kissed my forehead. "Okay, if you're sure. But, remind me if it hurts later, alright?"
I nodded and hugged him back. Despite his occasional mishaps, I knew Earth meant well and always had my best interests at heart. I cherished our moments together, even the silly misunderstandings that brought us closer.
"I must prepare breakfast before Aunt Ann wakes up."
"Okay. I will head home now," he replied.
I smiled and gave him a quick kiss as he put on his shirt. "Would you like to stay for breakfast? I can make extra food."
His face lit up, "Yes," he said with a grin.
I chuckled at his adorableness and grabbed a sweatshirt and black joggers from my closet.
"I will be downstairs," he whispered before leaving my room. I sighed as I realized something. Earth didn't see the cut on my forehead at all, even though we were standing so close.
After changing, I went downstairs but could not find Earth. I went to the kitchen and began making breakfast. Everyone slowly gathered in the dining room, and I served the food. We ate in silence until my dad spoke up. "We will be visiting a distant cousin tomorrow morning."
P'Mook, seated next to me, shifted uncomfortably in her seat. She glanced at me, and I raised an eyebrow. She shrugged and continued eating.
"Might I inquire about the location? Could you also elaborate on the purpose of our visit? Has there been a recent tragedy?" Phuwin asked, seeking clarification.
"Will you be assisting with any funeral arrangements, Phuwin?" P'Gawin inquired. Earth chuckled briefly but fell silent after noticing Phuwin's disapproving look.
Aunt Ann interjected, "No one has passed away. However, we must pay a visit. Please comply with our instructions. Transportation will be provided for us."
Phuwin inquired once more, "How long will our stay be?"
"Just for tomorrow. We will return the following day," Aunt Ann stated before rising from her seat. Phuwin continued to question her as they walked away.
After the meal, Earth took his leave, and P'Mook joined me to help with the dishes. She seemed hesitant, opening and closing her mouth as if grappling with something she wanted to share.
Noticing her hesitation, I inquired, "Is there something on your mind, P'Mook?"
She initially dismissed it, saying, "It's nothing."
"If something is troubling you, please do not hesitate to confide in me," I urged.
After a moment of hesitation, she finally spoke up. "New, I ask for your forgiveness this once."
Concerned, I turned to face her, asking, "What happened?"
P'Mook hesitated before admitting, "We aren't visiting relatives. I suspect Dad is deceiving us. I overheard him talking to Uncle Push... I believe they are plotting something." She paused, her eyes filled with concern.
"I sensed that something was amiss. Do you think we are going to Vihokratana's house?" I inquired.
"Yes, we are," a voice interrupted. Aunt Ann was standing nearby, startling me.
"What do you mean?" P'Mook demanded, glaring at her.
Aunt Ann rolled her eyes. "We are going to their house. We fabricated the story so Phuwin wouldn't cause a commotion."
"Well... It appears he might now," Phuwin interjected as he joined us.
Aunt Ann's eyes widened. "What--"
"What is your intention?! Are you planning to arrange their marriage tomorrow?! I won't allow it!" Phuwin exclaimed.
Aunt Ann regained her composure and chuckled. "You're quite humorous, Phuwin. Do you truly believe you have a say in this?"
Phuwin scoffed. "And why not? I won't let P'New leave. What will you do about it then?!"
Aunt Ann approached me, causing my heart to race with anxiety. "Do you practice black magic, you brat? How did you manage to have all my son's attention?"
I willed myself not to cry. P'Mook swiftly intervened, "Do not interfere with my brother, Aunt. I will not tolerate it. Keep away from us!" I held tightly onto P'Mook's shoulder.
Aunt Ann quickly made her way to the main hall, shouting for Dad to come down. "Seems like your children are feeling rebellious!"
As my heart pounded and sweat dripped down my face, P'Gawin joined us in the kitchen, asking, "What's going on?"
"Can we please not speak? Dad will get upset... Phuwin, please don't raise your voice--"
"Why are you acting this way, P'New? They are practically selling you for money!" Phuwin cut me off.
"They took my consent, Phu."
"Your consent, my foot!" Phuwin yelled, leaving me breathless.
P'Gawin embraced me tightly, observing my trembling form, urging Phuwin to stay silent. "Breathe, Newwiee. Just breathe."
"They're rushing the wedding because they found out about me and Earth," I sobbed.
"How did they find out?" P'Mook asked, comforting me.
"It was Aunt Ann at the door the other day. I think she told Dad," I explained.
"That's why they're pressuring us like this. Fuck! I can't believe these people!" Phuwin exclaimed.
"Watch your language, Phuwin!" Dad reprimanded us as he approached us.
The room fell silent as Dad glared, causing everyone to be tense. He moved towards me and pulled me away from P'Gawin, standing me next to him while I trembled uncontrollably.
"Father, please. New didn't say anything... It was us who argued. Please don't punish him," P'Mook pleaded.
Dad shook his head in disapproval. "You should've considered that before speaking out!"
Phuwin let out a frustrated sigh, "Why are you doing this?! How much money did they promise you in place of P'New? Why the hell--"
His accusations hung heavy in the air, prompting Dad to slap Phuwin, I gasped and ran to him. His lip was bleeding, and my vision was blurry. P'Mook was in a state of shock.
"Dad!" P'Gawin yelled.
"Phu... Stop. You don't need to fight for me..." I said softly.
"Does anyone else have a problem?" Dad asked.
P'Gawin was going to speak, but I gestured for him to stay quiet. P'Mook cried and P'Gawin went to comfort her.
Before I could understand, Dad pulled me into the small storeroom, locked the door, and left me in darkness. I pounded on the door, "Please, open it!"
The chaos outside, filled with cries and arguments, revealed the conflict within. I could hear P'Mook and Phuwin crying, P'Gawin and Dad yelling, Aunt Ann trying to intervene, and then a loud crash.
"Phuwin!" Everyone shouted as I continued to pound on the door.
"What happened to Phuwin?! P'Mook? P'Gawin? Please, someone open the door!" I cried, tears streaming down my face.
"Let me go..." I whispered. "Mom... Please, help me. I'm afraid."
Breathing became difficult, my eyes grew heavy, and my heart raced. With one final feeble attempt to knock on the door, everything faded to black.
I dreamed of my mom. Only this time, she hadn't died right away. She crawled to where I was sitting.
"You're alive!" I said.
She nodded, a gentle smile on her face.
"You're okay?" I asked haltingly, fearful.
"Yes," she said, laughing slightly.
"I want you back, Mom," I said, my eyes tearing up. "I miss you so much."
Her face was serious and it looked like the distance between us was increasing even though neither of us had moved. "I'm sorry you can't have us both, Newwiee."
Suddenly, she was gone and I was alone. I was crying, and my eyes were closed, but I could feel a presence standing over me.
I startled awake, warm tears coursing down my cheeks, the very edges of the dream fading into a must. As I lay there trying to gather my emotions, I swore I heard someone moving away, through the door behind me.
∆∆∆
A whisper woke me, and droplets of water hit my face. I smiled as I saw his face. I was lying on his lap with my upper body, his arms wrapped around me. "What's going on?" I whispered.
He had a bandage on his forehead, his expression pained as he started to cry. I sat up beside him, despite the pain. I embraced him as he wept on my shoulder, trying to comfort him with gentle back rubs.
"Phuwin? What happened?" I asked softly.
"I thought something had happened to you. You wouldn't wake up... I tried," he sobbed.
Wiping my tears, I reassured him, "I'm fine. Nothing happened to me."
He clung to me, crying again. "I'm sorry... I couldn't protect you. I tried but..." He broke down.
"Phu, it's okay. I'm safe. But what happened to you?" I inquired, concerned, noticing the bandage on his forehead.
He hesitated, "I accidentally hit the kitchen counter."
"Really?"
"Dad pushed me when I tried to take the key from his hand."
Phuwin, who wasn't even blood-related, always went to extremes to save me. The moment I saw him walk through the front door, he felt familiar to me. Tears I tried to hold back now flowed freely.
Phuwin said, "Don't cry, P'New. I'm sorry it took me so long to reach you."
I shook my head, lost for words. "How did you get the key?" I asked.
"I'll tell you later. Let's get out of this small storeroom," he said with a grin as he helped me to my feet. We swiftly made our way to the right wing of the house. "Where are we going?" I asked, puzzled.
A clock on the wall showed midnight. Phuwin motioned for silence and led the way. He stopped at a door that seemed too familiar - the door that had been locked for years. I recalled always finding myself asleep here after wandering around the house.
As I gazed at the door, memories of my mother flooded my mind. This room held her essence, a place where she found solace in writing poetry. Despite the passage of time, the pain of her absence lingered, a truth I had slowly come to accept.
I recalled the days when I would eagerly rush home from school to join her here, surrounded by her cherished books. After her passing, my father sealed this room, intending to preserve her memory. However, for me, this space held a sense of comfort, a sanctuary where my mother and I shared precious moments. In times of distress, she would lead me here, the scent of books and ink calming my troubled mind.
"Shall we enter, P'New?" Phuwin's soft voice interrupted my reverie.
"How can we? The door is locked," I replied.
"I have the keys... Are you ready?" Phuwin hesitated.
"Yes, please unlock it. I have yearned to step inside for nearly a decade," I responded, a smile playing on my lips.
With a nod and a smile, Phuwin retrieved a set of keys and attempted each one until the door finally yielded.
Nostalgia washed over me with waves of happiness as I slowly pushed the door open. Stepping inside, I took a deep breath to calm myself, feeling the ice-cold hardwood beneath my feet. Warm tears streamed down my cheeks as I struggled with the pain and longing of not being able to visit this place before. In the company of Phuwin, I finally had the opportunity to enter this room, and I couldn't let it slip away. As we stood there, a sudden thump startled us, causing a photo to fall to the floor. I froze, listening intently to the silence that enveloped the rest of the house.
Gathering my composure, I approached the fallen photo, recognizing it as a picture of Mom, P'Mook, and myself taken just days before the accident. With a heavy heart, I softly placed the photo back in its rightful spot on the wall. Turning back to Phuwin, who stood nearby, I shared a smile, "That's my mom, Bella." Phuwin acknowledged with a smile and a nod.
It struck me that nobody else had a picture of Mom, a realization that brought both sadness and comfort. I have a picture of her hidden under my bed - I never want to forget how she looked.
"Should we call P'Mook?" I asked, suddenly feeling guilty.
Phuwin shook his head and said, "I'll duplicate this key before Dad finds out I stole it. I'll show her some other day. I'm sorry I didn't do this before."
I hugged him tightly, saying, "You have no idea what you have done. I'm thankful to have you in my life, Phu. You mean a lot to me. I'm so happy."
He chuckled and said, "I love you so much P'New, but I don't want to die due to suffocation!"
I chuckled and released him, saying, "I love you, my little Phu."
He rolled his eyes, saying, "I'm not little!"
I chuckled as I walked to the wooden table near the window, where my mom used to sit and write, surrounded by piles of papers. Everything was just as she had left it, scattered and covered in dust. The books on her bookshelf were untouched; I picked out Charlotte's Web by E. B. White & Garth Williams, a book she used to read to me every night. Below that were my books - Wind in the Willows, The Little Prince, and The Velveteen Rabbit.
Phuwin, smiling, pointed to the books. "You used to read these?"
"Yes," I said, laughing, and gestured to a corner of the shelf. "That's P'Mook's section. It's all romance novels; mom used to scold her for having mature content..."
Phuwin smiled and asked, "Would you like to take something with you?"
I nodded, handing him Charlotte's Web and To Kill a Mockingbird, my mom's favorite. I then returned to the table, recalling. "Mom had a necklace for me... She had wanted me to have it but then..."
Phuwin nodded and assisted me in searching for it until he eventually found a box. Upon opening it, I discovered a sun pendant necklace. Engraved behind the pendant was 'Tay-New'. "Te-New?"
"What?" Phuwin inquired.
"It says Te-New..." I expressed, puzzled.
Phuwin took the necklace from me, inspected it, and suggested, "TayNew? Could it be related to Tay Tawan?"
I shook my head. "I don't recall ever hearing about them. I mean, the Vihokratana family."
"Do you think..." Phuwin paused. "They're connected to Aunty Jooy?"
I held my breath, "Jooy Viho-"
"Oops! Fucking shit!" Phuwin exclaimed, bursting into laughter, and I joined in.
∆∆∆
Upon arriving at the black mansion for the first time to discuss a company merger, I was mesmerized by its beauty. As I exited the car with my father, Aunt Ann, and Phuwin, I was once again in awe of the grandeur before us.
Phuwin exclaimed, "What the fuck! Are you certain this is their house?"
Dad reprimanded him, "Please watch your language, Phuwin. Let's not cause embarrassment in front of others."
As we proceeded along the grand pathway toward the entrance, Mr. Vihokratana awaited us, directing workers to assist with our luggage. After greeting Dad and Aunt Ann, he turned to me, offering a warm smile as he embraced me. "Welcome home, son," he said.
I responded with a hesitant, "Thank you," still adjusting to being called his son and addressing him as Dad. I returned his smile genuinely. Mr. Vihokratana also embraced Phuwin, remarking on how much the latter had grown since their last meeting.
"We have everything ready. The maids will show you to the guestrooms. And Pong, they will take the kids upstairs. I've already arranged their rooms," Mr. Vihokratana informed.
Dad acknowledged, "Mook and Gawin will arrive soon. What time does the event begin?"
"No need to worry. It's scheduled for the evening. I thought you could all use some rest beforehand," assured Mr. Vihokratana. He accompanied Dad as the maids guided them to their rooms.
"Behave, New and Phuwin," cautioned Aunt Ann following behind Dad and Mr. Vihokratana.
"It's going to be fun!" Phuwin whispered, winking at me.
I chuckled at his playful nature. "I won't be pulling any pranks," I stated.
"You will be! And it will be enjoyable," he insisted, grabbing my arm once more.
Two maids approached us, and I recognized one of them, "P'Som," I greeted.
"It's Thitipoom. It's nice to see you again," she warmly responded.
"This is my brother, Phuwin," I introduced.
She smiled and nodded at Phuwin. "I'll lead you to your rooms," P'Som announced as we followed quietly behind her.
"I can't believe we're in Aunt Jooy's house," whispered Phuwin. I glared at him and gestured for him to be quiet.
We arrived at my room first and I was taken aback by its size. As we stepped in, a strong scent of incense wafted through the air. Above the massive bed, a beautiful display of brown shades adorned the cobalt-tinted wall. Compared to this, my room seemed quite small.
"Is this the guest room?" I asked P'Som, to which she simply nodded.
My small black duffle bag had already been placed on the left side of the room, right beside a large Mahogany table. Phuwin and the other maid had already left for their assigned rooms.
After a long silence, P'Som spoke up, "You may relax for a bit. I'll call you when breakfast is ready. You can lock the door."
I nodded in agreement and replied, "Okay. Thank you."
She smiled and left me alone in the room. I quickly locked the door and checked the bathroom. It was almost as big as my bedroom, and I held my breath in awe. I doubted I could ever get used to such luxury. However, something caught my eye, a second door in the bathroom. I tried to open it, but it wouldn't budge. Perhaps it's just a room for storing bathroom supplies, but who knows?
I returned from the bathroom and crawled back into bed. Suddenly, there was a knock on the door. I got up and opened it to find Phuwin holding a black duvet.
"The room is too fancy, I can't sleep alone," he said.
I chuckled and welcomed him in, saying, "I know... It's too fancy for me too."
He jumped onto the bed and I followed suit. Sleep gradually overtook me and I closed my eyes. Phuwin was already fast asleep, and he wrapped his arms and legs around me.
The only thing that calmed me down was the fact that this was Aunt Jooy's house. Mom... I'm marrying your best friend's son.