"Gunil, I have some good news," Jiseok hit him with a pillow as he entered the living room with a phone in his hand. The older boy scanned his proud posture and nodded, letting him know that he was listening to him. "I would say that we are closer to helping me out of this shit."
"It's been about four days and you've already found something?" Gunil furrowed his brows authentically amazed. Jiseok came closer and now sat next to him showing him a call he had made an hour ago. "Why did you call Joshua?"
"Maybe because he is my manager, dummy," Jiseok explained as if it was the most obvious thing in the world and then quickly jumped into the topic of fixing what had happened. "So, I talked with him and told him what happened and mostly what didn't, and I told him what to do, and as you can see he did a great job finding some information about that journalist," his words were messy, but all Gunil had to know was that there still was hope.
"Oh, and what did he find?" he got interested, closing the space on the couch between them. Jiseok laughed quietly. He was already in a good mood, and seeing that Gunil was also showing some willingness to help made him even happier.
"He contacted the author to tell him some more things about me, I told him not to do this that way, I thought it would be better if we told the truth, but Joshua said he preferred to approach him like that." Jiseok rolled his eyes, "So, we will visit him in a week, Seattle, Cherry Street, house number 36."
"He even got his address?" Gunil furrowed his brows in amazement. He didn't know Joshua could do such things. "Or their address. Do you even know any other info?"
"It's a man, Joshua didn't tell me anything more because as he said he couldn't remember it, but the voice definitely belonged to a man."
"So, do we have to do anything before we go there?" he asked those questions the moment after he nodded. Jiseok just shrugged his shoulders and responded.
"Don't worry about it, Gunil, if anything, I will prepare it, you don't need to do anything," he assured him by patting his arm with his hand.
"Alright."
♡.﹀﹀﹀🎸﹀﹀﹀.♡
When the time came and they met with the alleged author of the disgusting article on Jiseok, the said one felt incredibly uncomfortable. They entered his 'office'— a small room, too small to be a good working place, with old and ugly walls. The scent of burning candles, coffee and cigarettes floated in the air causing Jiseok to feel nausea.
He was a few steps from confronting the man who let such an idiotic lie blow up the internet. Was it okay to feel this weird at that moment? Absolutely yes.
"Oh, you didn't even knock?" a rather tall boy furrowed his brows and got up from his seat, showing them how surprised he was. Well, they should have knocked on the door but Jiseok didn't want to. Where was the point of showing respect to such a person?
"Indeed, we didn't," he breathed these words out placing both of his hands on the dirty brown table. There were sheets of paper, pens, spilled ink and, above all, small circles left by coffee mugs. "How the fuck dare you—"
"Jiseok, not in that tone." Gunil's voice echoed from behind his body. The boy standing still on the other side of the table peeked at Jiseok who was staring at him from a bent position. He looked evil and the journalist could clearly say that he was angry.
"Alright, I'll speak calmly," he smiled at the black-haired boy who wasn't even in working clothes. He simply wore whatever got under his fingers because black trousers and a plain white T-shirt didn't look like a journalist's outfit.
"There is no need to be this irritated, I will listen to whatever you want me to write." the man sat on his chair; a really damaged one. The artificial leather came off in patches and the interior was falling off on the left side. It didn't look appealing to Jiseok and made him even more mad. Also, the fact that the man didn't even know what was the real purpose of the meeting. "Anyone wants to sit?" he asked, quite embarrassed. There was almost no place to sit and his chairs were in the same condition as the one he was sitting in right now.
Oh, right. He was probably incredibly poor, Jiseok conducted, maybe it was the reason why he didn't even check whether the rumours were true. He just wanted money. Disgusting bitch.
"So," Joshua spoke sitting down next to Jiseok. Gunil remained in the door frame looking at three people inside. He wasn't feeling the best, just like Jiseok but for a different reason. "What brought us here wasn't necessarily any new information for you but some issue."
"Excuse me?"
"As if you didn't recognize me." Jiseok chuckled crossing his arms over his chest. The man frowned reaching for his glasses and putting them on his nose examining the rockstar's face.
"Ehm... I'm sorry to disappoint you, sir," he said nonchalantly, he didn't feel any sorry nor did he feel like he had done anything wrong.
"I'm the Gaon you wrote an article about, the pedo," he laughed bitterly and the journalist opened his mouth wide.
"No fucking way."
"Fucking way." he looked at the man's confused face, he was studying Jiseok's body as if eating a dessert. He was definitely not prepared for a face-to-face encounter with that disgusting gay rapist.
"You are a horrible person, Gaon," he said sternly as if he was about to lecture him. Joshua and Gunil on the other hand just stared at them in silence knowing that it was best if just the two of them talked right now. "I despise you, and what right do you have to come to me at all?"
"Funny how you have no idea what really happened, you listened to all these lies without even a note of doubt." Jiseok shook his head from side to side not even trying to hide how angry he was at that moment. "You didn't even know what I look like and wrote such things about me? Thank you so much."
"What do you mean I have no idea what happened? My source told me everything and I strongly believe it was all true. After all, that's what those rockstars like to do." the man shrugged his shoulders feeling himself getting hot and his heart beating faster and faster. Jiseok's scolding gaze hit him like a speeding train.
"Oh, so you assume that all rockstars are rapists?" he laughed even louder, it concerned the journalist how he managed to twist his every word.
"No—"
"I don't care. Actually, that was not the point. How would you feel if someone told such a thing about you and no one wanted to hear your side of the story?" Jiseok stared at him saying those words as firmly as possible but everyone could hear how shaky his voice became.
"I would feel horrible but are you now telling me that it wasn't true? You want me to trust you so easily?"
"It's not about trusting now. This is to straighten out stupid rumours," he said scanning the face of the journalist with a little disgust written in his eyes. "And what is even your name?"
"Kim Jungsu." he introduced himself smiling slightly, he was ready to hear everything Jiseok was to say blaspheming his name and surname.
"So, dear Kim Jungsu, don't fucking believe everyone who tells you some shit about a person just because you want money." it was supposed to sound like advice, Jiseok took a look around the whole room. It was messy, small, old and ugly. Paper everywhere—it even served as wallpaper on the wall—torn on one side and dirty with some substances on the other. It wasn't the most pleasant place anyone had ever been to.
"Excuse me? How dare you?"
"Just look around, I know you needed some money desperately and I am not glad to have helped you." he was now staring at Jungsu, judging the way his lips were curved, the way his messy hair was arranged and even the way his tone of voice sounded. "You literally ruined my life."
"I am sorry but I still believe that the person who gave me the information was right." he placed his hands on the table in front of him accidentally touching a still wet ink stain. Jiseok noticed it but didn't comment on it, he was too bothered by the fact that Jungsu didn't even try to help them at all.
In his opinion, he should be the first person to give him a hand now because, after all, he was the one who spread the misinformation on the Internet.
"Uhm, then why don't you show us who that was?" Joshua asked reluctantly, he was also lost and desperately tried to ignite a note of hope that everything would be alright in Jiseok's heart.
Jungsu sighed and scanned everyone's faces. He could see how concerned they all were; Jiseok was keeping eye contact with him for the longest time, an anger visible as his iris dilated, Joshua had an uneasy look on his face and Gunil just stared at him and swallowed hard.
"I have no rights," he said. Jiseok searched with his hand for his phone looking for something with a dolorous look in his eyes.
"Was it him?" he spoke up turning the phone to Jungsu, his heart was racing as never before, scared of what would happen in a second and at the same time experiencing a strange wave of melancholy.
He had just shown him a photo of him and Jooyeon when they were standing somewhere under the tree and Jiseok's face was all in a cotton candy and the younger's hands held the said sweetness.
It was the only photo of them they had ever made and that's why he felt even more puzzled when Jungsu kept staring at the picture for an extremely long time
"What kind of question is that?" he snorted, his eyes eating up the photo. Two boys, definitely too close to each other to be just friends, their faces were smiling and in Jungsu's opinion, the story behind the photo had to be cute and funny at the same time. "I can't tell you."
"He is the one that I supposedly raped," Jiseok chuckled feeling as if he was about to throw up in a second. Saying those words made him feel dizzy, let alone thinking about it.
"So it was true." Jungsu let out a little sigh and hid his mouth with a hand.
"What was true?"
"That you did that with him." Jiseok closed his phone as he heard those words, slamming it against the table with a little noise. Jungsu shivered.
"Don't be disgusting, Jungsu," Jiseok was more furious now, he didn't know how long he was going to bear with the irritating journalist and the way he treated him as if he was the worst person in the entire world. "Nasty accusations coming from you."
"I was just being curious," he explained gazing at Gunil again, the boy in a door frame just smiled awkwardly not knowing whether he should say anything now.
"Is it your job to be this curious about other's lives? I don't think so." Jiseok shouted a little louder than he expected but did he care? Not really. He hated Jungsu so much already. Sticking his nose into Gaon's affairs and accusing him so brazenly was very irritating. "So, fucking behave."
"Jiseok, you should calm down." Joshua placed his right hand on Jiseok's black hoodie and tried to catch his attention, the latter glanced at him briefly
"Why? He's making me a—"
"I'm not. I want to trust you but I need proof." Jungsu explained trying to keep his voice as quiet as possible. He knew how people's minds worked (more or less) and knew that keeping his attitude peaceful would prompt Jiseok to try being somehow nicer.
"You want me to bring that guy to you and tell the truth or what?" the rockstar shook his head to the side telling him that it wasn't possible.
"We could always try that but I would also like to contract with the information giver first, alright?" Jungsu stated looking once at Jiseok and once at Gunil.
"Great, I hope this motherfucker gets their karma," Jiseok furrowed his brows, his hands hitting the table causing some papers on it to move. "I wanna see them."
"I don't think that I should—"
"But they ruined my life. I, Gunil and the rest of our band are having a tour soon. Imagine how hard it is for me now."
"I understand you well," Jungsu responded quietly, his eyes looking down at his own hands; on one hand, trying to think about a resolution and on the other hand not being able to look into Jiseok's furious eyes.
"I just want to know if it was him who lied to you..." the rockstar spoke up after a few moments of hard breaths exchanged in the room and this time, to Jungsu (and others) he didn't sound as firm as before. There was something soft and broken in his voice, not only soft - there was something bitter as well, making him sound as if sobbing. One of the males who didn't introduce himself to Jungsu caught the same impression and gazed right at Jiseok scared of what he was about to see.
"Oh," Jungsu started, his thoughts getting lost the longer he studied the face of Jiseok. "I would love to help but—"
"Tell him," Joshua said sternly. His eyes drilling two holes in Jungsu and the journalist noticed that his hand was placed on Jiseok's tight trying to comfort him. Jungsu could easily tell that the boy was rarely in this state.
"It wasn't him." these words rolled off his tongue with an uncertain note, he shouldn't be telling anything about who his source was but this time he made an exception. Well, he didn't reveal anything about the informant, he only admitted that it wasn't the suspected boy.
He watched Jiseok as he smiled slightly at the sentence, not for long, but still. He just nodded, his eyes peeking left at his manager showing how shocked he was, he had no idea that it would turn out this way.
"Gunil, I'm a horrible person," now he turned to the said boy, his voice shaky and muffled by the sleeve of his sweatshirt. He got up and walked up to him, Jungsu could swear that the more he stared at the situation the more uneasy he felt about it. "I didn't believe him at all and shouted at him and told him I hate him and regret ever meeting him and—"
"Shh, you didn't do anything wrong. You didn't know it wasn't him," Gunil embraced him letting the younger do whatever he needed to and Jiseok just stood as if petrified.
"But he hates me now and I ruined it." he groaned, getting away from Gunil's arms so that he was facing him now. Gunil shook his head left and right but before he could say anything, Jungsu cleared his throat.
"Ehm... I'm sorry to interrupt you guys," his voice was milky but it made Jiseok shiver. "I just wanted to let you know that..." Jungsu wasn't sure how to put it into words, he felt as if saying it was out of place now. "You'll have to pay me for this... I mean—"
"I don't care, I will pay you," Jiseok scoffed, the delicate tears were hiding between his eyelashes, he was desperately trying to camouflage them by smiling nonchalantly but Jungsu could see how mixed the boy's feelings were and he understood him—learning that your lover didn't do the thing you accused them of doing didn't sound pleasant. Imagine fixing the relationship now. It wasn't the easiest task ever. "I know, services and stuff." he continued pulling out his wallet as if he was prepared for this situation.
"Jiseok, I can pay," the voice belonged to Joshua who felt bad for him. Obviously. He treated Jiseok like his younger brother so seeing him in such a state made his heart crush into a billion pieces. "After all, I initiated the meeting ."
"No, I don't mind paying. How much?" Jiseok looked at Joshua for a bit longer than planned, he had to make sure he wouldn't oppose him anymore. He wanted to just go away and breathe clean air. So Jungsu said as he wished and Jiseok handed him in a few banknotes and his manager's phone number, hoping to hear from Jungsu soon.
When they were heading to the exit Gunil finally spoke up after a very long time of observing them all from a distance as if he were a ghost.
"Guys, what if I talk to him now?" Jiseok glanced at him briefly, he didn't know Gunil would get interested in someone in such a short time considering that he hadn't exchanged a lot of words with him during the whole visit. Joshua just nodded, not knowing what else to say and he pulled Jiseok with him by a sleeve. "Wait for me in front of the building okay?" said Gunil with both an awkward and shy smile.
So now it was just the two of them in the room. Jungsu rushed to the door and closed it with a loud bang.
"What the hell did you do?" he exclaimed feeling his heart climb up his throat. His eyes were fixed on Gunil's hands which were clenched into fists. "Was it real what Gaon said?"
"Yeah, it was," he stumbled, his eyes closed.
Jungsu started wandering around the room over and over again, tripping over boxes, bundles of paper, or whatever else was lying on the ground. He was nervous as fuck and above all, he was confused.
"Oh my god." he blurted out after about a minute of speedwalking and cursing under his breath. "He might not seem to be a kind guy but how the fuck dare you do such a thing to him?"
"I...I don't know. You won't understand." Gunil shook his head as he leaned his body against the wall, his thoughts seemed to be overwhelming his mind and nothing could cool them down.
"I thought that what you told me before was real and now I feel more than just bad." Jungsu moved to his laptop opening the article he had written about Jiseok and the boy he had seen in that photo a few minutes ago. He sighed loudly at the title: A 21-year-old musician from the rock band Ecstasy, Kwak Jiseok was caught sleeping with a 17-year-old boy. Find out more about the newly discovered paedophile! It was too much for him. He looked up at Gunil, the one who told him those things about Gaon. "What an idiot you are, Gunil."
"You can call me the worst person in the world and that's why I came here today again," he explained getting closer. He took a sit that Jiseok was sitting in a good few minutes ago and he wasn't facing Jungsu or even staring at anything belonging to the black-haired man. He focused on his own hands and how fast they trembled.
"Right, that concerned me a lot. Why the fuck did you show up here with them talking about this fucking false accusations and you were the one who made me write this article?" Jungsu shook his head to the side, he couldn't understand Gunil and what his motive was. It was intriguing and worrying at the same time. "I could have betrayed you and told them the truth."
"I know that and I'm thankful you didn't do so."
"It's a big shame, Gunil. He is your friend and your bandmate." Jungsu continued dwelling on this topic as if he were about to open a book and write some story on it. Gunil swallowed after the journalist moved his hand along the table in order to clean the dust from it. "What made you do that?" he asked.
"Nothing special." a short response after which they fell silent. Jungsu's firm stare didn't leave Gunil for any seconds, he was trying his best to make him continue his thought no matter how long it would take. "That whole day was shitty. Jealousy and irritability at the same time." Jungsu titled his head to the left, how come this made him want to ruin Jiseok's life?
"Oh, but you still had no right to do that."
"I fucking know that but at that moment nothing could stop me." Gunil bit his lower lip, he knew that what he had done was a big mistake but what could he do? He has always been impulsive and acted on strong emotions, making the most irrational decisions. He wasn't proud of it and didn't even want to use it as an argument because obviously, it wasn't going to help him.
"It was bad of you," Jungsu concluded, his eyes studying Gunil's face as if looking for signs of guilt. All he could see was a puzzled look on his face and a self-conscious, uncertain body.
"Have you ever been heartbroken?"
"What do you mean by heartbroken?" he didn't understand Gunil the longer they were talking and his interlocutor didn't understand himself as well. His stiff body remained chaotic no matter what. Jungsu didn't get it, it was as if he was telling him more with the way his jersey was curved than with his words.
"I met my ex that day, he has a boyfriend now and then Jiseok and Jooyeon met. I was so fucking jealous."
"Who? Is Jiseok your ex?" he questioned.
"No, it was Seungmin, someone else." Gunil looked into his eyes as if checking whether he kept up with the information. Jungsu nodded and after a second the more muscular man blurted out. "But that's not important."
"You like Jiseok, right?" Jungsu said before Gunil could add anything else to his utterance, it caught him off guard the way the journalist was so straightforward and alluring at the same time. He wanted to tell him everything no matter what he had done.
"No, not much, I thought about him and me once but I prefer him and that boy to be together if you know what I mean. But at that moment when Jiseok started spending more time with Jooyeon and not me I felt even worse. Terribly jealous."
"So you like him," and Gunil could no longer hide it, it was dumb of him.
"Maybe, but you won't understand me. He is really adorable," and confessing his confusing feelings towards Jungsu went in pair with stupidly attempting to explain himself. "But now I don't want to think about him at all. I don't deserve him. Look at what I have done!"
"You have done a horrible thing." Jungsu didn't even try to defend him, he knew damn well that what Gunil had done was shameless and heartless.
"I know." he sighed, his hands gripping the material of his blue trousers. Jungsu got up, closed the laptop and faced Gunil as he stumbled over his next words. "When I think about it I don't know if I have ever considered him a friend in my life."
"If not a friend then what?" It sounded more inquisitive than inquiring. It burrowed under Gunil's skin like some kind of insect and after a second, Jungsu's hands appeared in places where he would have preferred if someone had cut his skin open.
"I don't know," he took a deep breath, Jungsu was leaning against the leg of this dirty table making it almost impossible for him to think intensively. His hands were on his arms, squeezing them as if he was afraid of Gunil running away but he wasn't planning on doing it. He just stayed there wondering what he was talking about just now. He was too mesmerized.
He could feel it coming, he didn't even act surprised when Jungsu straddled his lap. Gunil even used his hands to adjust his body placing them on his hips and moving the boy closer to him. His lips looked pretty, he couldn't help but study them from this angle where Jungsu's lips were just above his own. They seemed to be soft and sharp at the same time, he didn't know what to think. The best way was to try them.
"Hey," Jungsu snapped his fingers waking him from the trance, Gunil could hear his cute giggle, see how his lips curved into a sly smile and then registered a few words. "Look up, into my eyes." And he just felt himself getting warm.
"I'm looking."
"No, you were looking at my lips." Jungsu laughed nonchalantly and as Gunil noticed put on an even more charming look on his face. The older's hands found their place on Jungsu's back slowly caressing it with monotonous movements.
"Don't blame me, they are just so pretty," he whispered almost into the lips he was talking about, they were right in front of his face and were literally asking Gunil to be taken care of.
He couldn't resist any longer and crashed his lips against Jungsu's, slowly pulling at his lower lip as if he was tasting them as he'd fantasised about minutes before. They were sweet and tasted of vanilla, one of Gunil's favourite flavours. Every quick movement they made made him shiver, he loved the way the younger one kissed. It was so neat and organised, yet wild and chaotic. Their movements were slow, yet aggressive and feverish.
Even though they didn't kiss for long, it was something Gunil had never experienced before, no other kiss could replace the one they shared in this dirty and disgusting room. Everything about it was so perfect and different that he kept wanting more.
"Even now?" Jungsu broke the kiss but their faces were still very close, he looked deep into Gunil's eyes where he could see how the pupils of his eyes dilated, it made him smile widely.
"What?" the older furrowed his brows, his hand went down to Jungsu's thigh resting there as if being in other places all the time was too tiring for it.
"You don't think about him as a friend." Jungsu corrected his words and combed his hand through the hair of the boy in front of him. He liked how fluffy they were but it wasn't what mattered at that moment.
He focused more on Gunil's reaction to his words; he was stunned, and he couldn't respond to the statement for obvious reasons. Jungsu got off his legs sighing quietly and the older gave him the most uncertain look ever.
"Why would you ever do that to a friend?" Jungsu changed the topic so suddenly for he was absolutely sure that nothing would entrain Gunil to confide in him what the answer to the question was.
"I don't know and I have no fucking idea what to do now." he stood up feeling nasty after the way things turned out. He wasn't sure how to feel about the kiss. He liked it, obviously but he wasn't sure what the meaning behind it was.
"I want you to tell him the truth," Jungsu said very firmly causing Gunil to stop moving around the room mindlessly. He turned around to look at him as if checking if he was just joking around. By the time he had finished studying his figure—the way his body wasn't tense at all, the way his hips rested peacefully on the edge of the desk, and how his crossed arms spoke about his self-confidence, he was certain that it wasn't a bad joke.
"How? We will probably never be friends or talk again because of this. And what about our band?" he panicked, his voice was tight and his hands were sweaty. "I can't do it now."
"Isn't morality more important?" he tilted his head to the side and looked into his big eyes again searching for something broken that could persuade him to listen to his words but Gunil wasn't willing to cooperate that day.
"I don't know what to think now. I need to figure it out." he looked around the room at everything but Jungsu, he knew he had done a bad thing and helplessly thought that not facing him would make him feel safer and less guilty.
"I can help you." the black-haired boy suggested, he straightened his body which gained Gunil's attention, for God's sake, he was staring at him again!
"What about we meet in one of the restaurants this week?"
"Sounds good to me." the journalist laughed and Gunil smiled at him quite embarrassed. He put his hand on the door handle and pressed it ready to leave. "See you soon. You will get my number from that tall guy, alright?"
♡.﹀﹀﹀🎸﹀﹀﹀.♡
gunsu :333