And it took him exactly two weeks, fourteen long days full of smiles, so-called sincere talks and simply time spent together, to ruin it. Maybe it was better than staying in such toxic surroundings.
He didn't know what kind of manipulator he would call him but he was the worst thing that ever happened to him.
Jiseok was so mad at that moment, that he wanted to squeeze his throat till he died. He wanted to watch him suffer after what he had done to him. He wanted to see him cry from pain and finally understand what Jiseok was going through. He wanted it so much.
No, he didn't... Not at all.
Still, he was extremely pissed, he thought it was all real but to his surprise, even such pretty boys can be good liars. Perfect liars. He thought it was sincere, he thought he was into him but no. It was all a beautiful lie.
It hurt him so badly but the anger boiling in his blood was worse, he wanted to shout out how much he hated him now. He felt a grip in his lungs, closing the small gap between them and it felt as if the said substance was growing in his throat.
He wanted to cough, cry, scream and punch something so much. It was devastating. That one small piece of information caused him to remember everything that used to bother him in the past. This doubled the pain, maybe even tripled it.
He couldn't understand him at all. What was that the boy felt to him? Why did he do that? Was it because of the money? No, it wasn't. Why would it be? If he wanted the money, he wouldn't have kissed him again. He would have kept on threatening him with police.
But it wasn't because of the money. Why was it for?
How much Jiseok overestimated him. He could tell himself that he was just an annoying kid who was no different from anyone else, but no—he had to want more. Like an idiot, he had to be captivated by his smile, his way of speaking and, above all, how differently the boy addressed him, unlike other people. It seemed to him that he didn't see him as a musician but as an ordinary boy whom he liked.
And he was half right.
He definitely didn't see a musician in him, but he had no idea about the second aspect. He couldn't reach it and he honestly didn't even try. He didn't want to think about it so much, let alone when his thoughts were racing and racing and his brain couldn't catch up with them.
He knew it was game over to him, maybe not for now but by the time he will have to explain what happened between him and the boy. To who? Fucking police, interviewers, television and probably even his family.
But what would he say? I didn't do that to him but— And once again game over to Jiseok because what do you mean you didn't do that but? But what?
He didn't do anything wrong.
Losing a career sounded like losing a part of his soul.
He was on his way to confront him, it was his strong emotions that led his shaky yet confident body through the halls of school. He was ready to scold him for what he had done, he was mentally ready to shout at him even though yesterday he felt like protecting him at all costs.
How idiotic of him to let someone this unsuspected shred his heart into pieces and ruin his future. It was so unforeseen to him that he felt an even bigger need to finally stand in front of him and ruin his day... but wait, he wouldn't ruin it since Jooyeon planned it from the day he had seen him.
He clearly stated that it would be funny ruining Jiseok's life, so the talk with him wouldn't bear any fruit.
But now that they had both locked their eyes it was too late to turn away. Jooyeon smiled and it was the same smile that Jiseok had received from him three days ago when they were walking around the forest close to the Uni—it made him shiver. Why was he pretending even now when Jiseok knew everything?
He was an annoying asshole. Now waving at Jiseok, he approached him and scanned his furious face. He was wearing one of Jiseok's favourite hoodies, a black one, that he decided to randomly steal from him when they went out to the grocery store. It concerned Jiseok that he was still behaving as if it were yesterday.
"Jiseok! I thought you had lectures later today," Jooyeon pulled him into a hug, wrapping his arms around his waist but Jiseok couldn't withstand that even though he loved the way he felt between his arms. He pushed him away, harshly. "What is wrong?"
"Funny," he scoffed, "you can stop pretending now." his hands moved away as if burned when the boy across from them tried to catch them.
"What do you mean?" Jooyeon tilted his head to the side and Jiseok furrowed his brows, he didn't find him amusing. "Jiseok, can you talk to me like a normal person?"
"Says you," he growled lowering his voice so that only Jooyeon would hear his next sentence. "I regret ever trusting you."
Jooyeon furrowed his eyebrows, he seemed so clueless.
"Jooyeon, you are a motherfucker," he shouted feeling his chest going up and down faster than before. His vision dimmed and Jooyeon's innocent expressions made him go insane. "I wish I had never met you."
"You are joking now, right?" the latter scanned his whole body, he wasn't in the best state. All furious and pissed off. It concerned him, so he asked again. "Jiseok, aren't you?"
"No, how the fuck could I be?" he closed his eyes and bit his lower lip, Jooyeon was a whore, a fucking little whore that had nothing better to do with his life and decided to ruin Jiseok's just for fun.
"But I didn't... I didn't do anything." his hands were pressed to his chest, checking his own heartrate and he must have been a good liar even now because his face told Jiseok that his poor heart was beating abnormally fast.
"Don't get me wrong, it was the worst thing anyone could ever do. I trusted you," after this statement, Jiseok closed his mouth shut, he wasn't swallowing the boy's lies.
"But what the... what are you even talking about?" Jooyeon was even breathing fast, his eyes looking everywhere as if seeking help. He tried getting away from this talk once again, it was idiotic, thought Jiseok looking at him with fury in his flaming eyes. "Are you mad at me for the cake?"
"A fucking cake? Haven't you seen anything concerning online today?" he decided to go straight to the point, Jooyeon was already getting on his nerves and he wanted to end this talk quickly.
"No..." that was it. Jooyeon looked at him with those puppy eyes he loved so much and it irritated him even more. How could he behave like that now?
"Lying is fun and you are doing it even now." he looked into his eyes while searching for his phone, Jooyeon swallowed hard, was it the first sign of him breaking the character? Jiseok opened the phone with disgust on his face, he didn't want to read it. "A 21-year-old musician from the rock band Ecstasy, Kwak Jiseok was caught sleeping with a 17-year-old boy. Find out more about the newly discovered paedophile!" his voice echoed gaining single glances from passers-by. "Are you satisfied now? It's blowing up the internet, was it what you wanted to achieve?"
"What the hell— show me," he felt his heart in his throat, slowly coming up making it harder to breathe and his hands were shaking so badly, he took Jiseok's phone immediately reading the article quickly in his mind. "It's all lies, I didn't do that Jiseok, I swear."
His eyes wandered from line to line, even though it all started to blur together as he learned so many strange things. Although, strange wasn't the right word for what he was going through inside.
He and Gaon were supposed to have met only twice— in the club and then in Jiseok's house where he brutally raped him making him cry and ran out of his house terrified. Supposedly, while walking home, Gaon held him by force and he screamed. There was no information about who the boy was, only that they knew each other from school and that they had nothing in common except a few close touches. And that these close touches were initiated by the rockstar without the boy's permission.
Jiseok was now not only a paedophile but also a rapist.
Jooyeon looked up at him not even blinking, he just repeated that it wasn't him who put this information on the internet. But Jiseok? He didn't want to trust him.
"I don't care. You made it up and now I'm gonna suffer. Are you satisfied?" he took his collar with his two hands not knowing how else to release his emotions and could swear that Jooyeon had tears in his eyes.
"Jiseok, I didn't do anything, it wasn't me!" he shook his head to the sides and got away from Jiseok's grip on his t-shirt. "I fucking like you, I would never do that."
"You don't, I can't even listen to those words." Jiseok gazed at him, an unsure look in his eyes and Jiseok was wondering who he was targeting right now. Maybe Billie Joe Armstrong? Any other rockstar? Or what if some female because why not? Why would he limit himself? He still had two weeks to go until he reaches his birthday so he could ruin the life of one up to two people if only he tightened his little whore business schedule.
"But Jiseo—"
"I hate you so much." he cut him off, his thoughts overwhelming him. Why was Jooyeon even acting around him like that? For what? "Get the fuck out!"
"I didn't do it!" Why would he believe him now? Jooyeon was still the same, with tears in his eyes or not, he was still the same motherfucker and manipulator. "I swear to God, you can even kill me and I will still claim that I didn't do that." it sounded like begging to him, his voice was devastated and terrified.
"But you have once threatened me with police. Oh, not once—so after all, it wasn't a big surprise!" Jiseok laughed with a note of irony. "Now that you achieved your goal, leave me fucking alone!" and then two things happened at the same time, Jooyeon swallowed and nodded finally understanding that it was his time to stop this circus and Jiseok heard someone else's voice coming loudly to his left.
"Jiseok is that true?" it was a girl who shoved her phone with news straight to his face and after noticing his nervousness she turned to Jooyeon. "Is it you?"
"Get out!" Jiseok shouted pushing the girl away and turning to walk out of the school, he wasn't thinking rationally because the louder he argued with the girl the more attention he gained.
Onlookers watched them from a distance of a few steps, interested in the whole story and recording it on their phones. They loved drama! The girl gave up on following Jiseok, who told her to fuck off for the hundredth time, and he eventually had to run out of the school because people's questions were slowly becoming too severe.
♡.﹀﹀﹀🎸﹀﹀﹀.♡
When he reached the apartment he was panting hard because of the quick walk he took. His mind was in chaos and he was finally next to the person with whom he learned about the whole situation.
"He was acting dumb," he shouted as he opened the door and threw his almost smoked cigarette somewhere on the ground. He entered the living room revealing Gunil who walked around the room like a psycho. He was just as concerned as Jiseok was.
"Oh my fucking God, isn't it too much?" he frowned studying the way Jiseok angrily walked up to him and threw himself on the coach. He buried his face in his black hair trying to wake up from this nightmare.
"I missed about 20 calls from him, it's idiotic!"
"I don't like this so much," he sat next to Jiseok. "We need to do something about it."
"But what? It's already a lost cause, he won with me just as he wanted. I needn't have gotten into it, you were right, Gunil." Jiseok shivered as the new call appeared on his lock screen. Why was he contacting him now? Maybe he was trying to say sorry? After all, he stood crying slightly when Jiseok ran away from school, he looked too pure not to feel any pity right now.
Would it be okay if he picked it up? Just to make sure Jooyeon was that manipulator, not to hear him once again. Just to—
"You aren't answering him," Gunil stated firmly as if reading his mind, and took his phone away from his hands. "This won't work."
"Then what do we do?" he cracked his knuckles and looked at Gunil who crossed his arms on his chest causing Jiseok to notice a hole in his black t-shirt just below his ribs. "I can't let my career end like this."
"I know, Jiseok," he smiled at him sympathetically. "We will figure it out."
"When? How?" he groaned. "We know damn well that's not true, I didn't fucking rape him, you know that. You were the one that brought him home, so it's all fake." his voice was thin and high, the panic was eating him up from inside.
Gunil nodded and lay down on the couch, looking at the ceiling with Jiseok and breathing slowly to calm himself. They both needed to think clearly and not through a fog that filled every space of their minds.
"What if it wasn't him?" Jiseok whispered as their breaths became almost inaudible as if they weren't even in the room. Gunil passed him a cigarette as if indicating that it must have been him. Jiseok breathed in the smoke hoping it would make all his worries vanish away but no, not this time. "You know, there are these so-called psycho fans, what if it was one of them?"
"I doubt it, I think that Jooyeon is the only one who could have done that."
"But what if it wasn't him?" Jiseok sighed, his eyes were closed and all he could see were the tiny tears that formed in Jooyeon's dark eyes. He didn't look like he was joking. "His reactions seemed too authentic to be fake."
"Who else do you think was that?" Gunil asked monitoring Jiseok's face, the cig was almost burned out and his rosy cheeks were becoming redder with every other second.
"I know..." he chuckled. "I know it must have been him but I still can't get over him, he was too perfect."
And Gunil saw the broken smile crossing Jiseok's mouth. Wasn't it sick, the way a simple boy made him lose his mind and have wild emotional swings? Once Jiseok wanted to forget about him and once he wanted to hold his hand knowing damn well that he would ruin his life even more.
"I hope it was some psycho fan," Jiseok muttered breathing unevenly, his eyes looking up desperately wanting to somehow get rid of the watery pearls hidden between his eyelashes.
"If so, then we will easily prove the truth," Gunil stated. "We will do it at any cost, okay?"
"I don't know, first I want people to forget about it. I will avoid contact with others until this all calms down and then maybe we can do something."
"How are you going to do that? With Uni and stuff, it's gonna be impossible." Gunil could see one of those shiny pearls escape Jiseok's eyes and sadly run down his cheek. "And we are having the concert soon, how the fuck do you want it to calm down? This motherfucker chose the best moment."
"I know right, it's not gonna be easy." he bit his lower lip and imagined how the concert would look; him on the stage and lots of people thinking that he had really done all these nasty things. "I am scared of touring now, what if they are gonna call me names here? What if I will be forced to leave?"
"You won't Jiseokie, we will figure it out." Gunil's hand was placed on his shoulder to show him support and Jiseok gazed at the boy with a puzzled look painted on his face. He was lost in his thoughts or in other words: in his feeble attempts to save his good name.
"I don't wanna say goodbye to music."
Fuck music, fuck fame. Fuck everything. It didn't hurt him as much as the fact that someone he considered a lover had betrayed him.