AYAN
Of all the things that happened during my high school senior year, one of the few good things I got is my now best friend, Thua, who had refused to be pushed out of my life after the Suppalo scandal that almost ruined our lives. Perhaps out of guilt at first for being the catalyst to the breakdown of my relationship with Akk, having revealed said secret relationship to the public.
Eventually, when I had learned to forgive and understood that the relationship was always bound to fail anyway, Thua became the sibling I never had. Although he had stayed in Bangkok, studying Business Management in Bangkok University, he had flown out to visit me a couple of times during my five year stay in Boston studying Music Business/Management in Berklee.
After graduating mere months apart, I was poised to take on my masters while Thua had been hired to work at a famous corporation, all thanks to his stellar academic records. Then my mother passed away suddenly. Coming home after so many years had left mixed feelings in my heart.
Always having known that I was going to take over my mother's company, I knew the career I really wanted was not an option. Thua, ever the most loyal friend had given in to my request to be my executive assistant and thus combining both our knowledge in music and business to run the Eclipse Records. The premature appointment as CEO at only 24 had left me reeling from the intimidating responsibility of running a big company with hundreds of people. My mother too would not have known that she would pass away at only fifty-six and she hadn't even trained me for the position which she also took over after my father dies when I merely 5 years old. Still the daunting tasks, I faced head on and with Thua by my side. I finally felt settled enough after three months to think about doing a little something that is just personal, away from the life that had been forced upon me.
It was while I met Wat and Khan yesterday to finally have dinner after three months of being here. The hesitance was long and torturing but I had my trepidations. Surprisingly though, Khan and Wat with Thua had been nothing but fun and Akk was never mentioned the whole time. When they took me out to post dinner drinks, that's when I saw the sign posted in YOLO. I thought this was my chance and I took it.
Tonight was liberating. I finally got a chance to sing on stage again. I had steadily worked part time as a singer in a small Thai bar in Boston all these years. Frankly, I loved it except, when I recall those lively doe eyes made of molten lava and fire on a dangerously rugged handsome face and those legs for days, I begin to doubt my decision.
Having gotten used to separating my real life from the few hours I was a singer, I had consistently used Ray as my stage name. Only very few people are aware that I had a different real name and a different real life. Thua being one of them had been supportive. Offering to drive me whilst I was still waiting for my car to arrive from Boston.
My mother's car, I had given to her personal driver who had been with her for more than twenty years as part of his severance pay and compensation. I didn't want anyone driving me around. I also packed up all the household staff, not wanting to share the house with anyone, opting to hire outside services to do the cleaning and laundry weekly. I was used to my independence and I know how to do the chores, so I preferred this arrangement. Thankful to be left to myself to grieve on my own after my mother's passing.
Thanking Thua as he reminds me he'll pick me up at 8:30 am so we can go to work together, I gazed at the large two story house that had always been home since I was a kid. It's far too large for a single man but I felt bad thinking of letting it go. Despite the dark, I walked in relying on muscle memory to guide me to the light switch that I've known where since I was five.
Now sitting in my bed after a shower, taking out my IPad to get rid of some emails that needed responses. Feeling restless and unable to concentrate, I went to my social media and smiled looking at a photo of the four of us uploaded by Wat in his instagram. Laughing at Khan's obnoxious comment and Thua's stern tell off. Then there's Namo, who had commented that next time he should also be invited, tagging me saying he was glad to finally see my face even in just a picture after five years. Briefly wondering if Akk had an account and if he was friends with any if them. Well, certainly not Thua, but maybe the rest of them.
Would he be mad that I was hanging out with his friends now? Not to be mean but it was a relief to know he's all the way to Phuket because I didn't have to face him anytime soon.
Reposting the picture and replying to Namo, telling him to come join next time. Wat had dm'd me asking me if I had started my "secret job" as he referred to it. Told him I did and he promised to come by Friday, to watch and hang out. Telling him that would be nice since Thua and Khan were going back home to Chon Buri for the weekend.
After the fall out of the scandal, Thua and Khan had also separated for more than a year only to get back together realizing that they really did love each other. Wat had briefly dated teacher Sani in college but the age gap eventually caused them to collapse under pressure two years later. Staying single since, Wat had spent all his energy studying film and working on indie movies. He is getting recognition now as a respected young indie film director. Khan apparently had been less predictable, because who would have thought he'd actually want to be a doctor. Currently in his third year Medicine Proper, he looks like such a clown sometimes but under that exterior is a very hard working man who, Thua says, barely gets four hour rest everyday to study.
Finally refocusing on social media, I logged into my other account as Ray. Notifications from the post from YOLO had flooded my phone, as hundreds of likes and comments are already under the picture and short video of me singing. P'Yo had officially introduced me as part of the YOLO Family, listing my MWF schedule below. Thankful that it seems quite a number liked my performance, while most of the comments had been about my looks and if anyone knew my contact information. Feeling tickled because most of them are women and being a full pledged gay since I was thirteen, I've never even kissed a girl before.
My eyes landed on the post for YOLO's main attraction. Sand and his Band. Apparently those have garnered at least a thousand likes. Does the bar even fit that many people or they just see a hot, leather jacket clad rocker and like it? Beyond the physical similarities, Sand is obviously leaner and thus his doe eyes seem larger in his smaller face compared to Akk's. He is also extremely photogenic. Some people are just blessed like that. Unreasonably tall, handsome and talented. What's wrong with this guy? Well, maybe, if his songs are a mirror of real life, the way he sings about not wanting commitments is the one problem. He's commitment phobic. He's probably aware of his good looks and don't want to be tied down. Oh these poor girls.
Ineffectively dismissing my curiosity about Sand, I sighed and closed the app. Laying down to sleep. I think large doe eyes are my curse. Remembering how cold it was in Boston and how hard I endured the first few months I got there just to run away from my cursed first love, I finally went to sleep convinced more than ever to stay away from Sand.
SAND
Embarrassing to admit as it is but I knew the exact moment Ray had picked up his guitar and left. I was in the middle of our 6th song and despite the crowd, Ray looked crystal clear as he moved cat-like out of the door.
After that, my energy seemed to wane dramatically, I had to force myself to maintain a somewhat decent performance. What's up with this totally unhinged crush on that snobby rich boy?
That night, as I lit a joint and drank cold beer on my balcony, I started writing a song.
In you walked cat like in your HiSo outfit,
Smelling like expensive perfume,
That could pay for my 6 month rent.
Always hated them rich boys like you,
annoyingly flaunting your rich ass,
Like you're mocking poor boys like me.
Still your sexy pout I can't unsee,
Like your crescent eyes as they fall on me.
You're so countless sex all night coded,
Like you're created just to please a man,
Baby, why don't I show you today,
My finger's great not only on my guitars.
Throwing my pen down when I realized, while I was writing it down, it was Ray on my mind. God damn it, I'm losing my mind! Berating myself for letting that boy affect me this much.
"What got your panties in a knot rockstar?" I looked up to find my roommate teasing me with a grin.
"Nick, when you met Boston what was it like?" Nick's brow rose at this very unexpected question.
"I mean, didn't you tell me you knew right away the first time you saw him that he was something special," I elaborated.
"Uhuh!Man I couldn't take my eyes off of him the first time I laid my eyes on him. There's just no explanation for it, I just liked what I saw and I found myself only looking at him since," Nick shared. "Wait... what is this kind of question? Sand! Did you meet someone?"
I shrugged. Nick was right on the money about being unable to take my eyes off him though. But I was still half convinced. It's just a crush. He's good looking after all, with a sexy voice.
"SAND! This is something! Since Boeing you've never given anyone the time of your day! Who's he or she?" Nick asked curiously.
"Doesn't matter Nick. He hates me," I said.
"Hates you? Nobody hates you Sand! Everyone loves you! Do you know how many times I'm stuck as the ugly bestie and I'm not even ugly!" Nick exclaims.
"Well, he does. He hates me for some reason. I don't know," Putting down the guitar and stretching my leg.
The next day I spent it at The Eclipse Records, I was scheduled to take promotional photos. My new manager Beth has been nothing but nice, although she is currently handling two other artists aside from me. Sitting through make up, I heard several make-up artists gossiping. I was keeping my eyes closed though.
"Ria have you seen our new CEO? My God it's the first time I saw him today in person. We took the same elevator. Ria he is a gorgeous, gorgeous man! Ohhhh those eyes," Makeup artist whose name I didn't quite get giggles, obviously taken with our new Boss.
Personally I have not met him. From what I know ,we joined the company at about the same time, he took over after our previous CEO, his mother, passed away. He will officially be introduced next week during The Eclipse Records, 2024 Yearly Ball, where all the new artists like me will also be introduced, as well as new records that are going to be released next year.
"Yes Khun Ayan is a really handsome man. He's cold and scary though," the one speaking is Ria I presumed.
"If you're rich as fuck and a CEO at 24, you'd not care about other peoples feelings too Ria. I don't care how cold he is, if he bats an eyelash at me, I'd melt," Nameless make up artist seems to have a huge crush on Khun Ayan.
Curious and looking forward to meeting this apparently gorgeous CEO. I've been here at least three times each week because I was working on my album but I had not had the pleasure of meeting our mysterious Boss. Personally, I understand why our Boss was not too keen on socializing. After all, he was grieving his mother and now found himself responsible for such a big company. I'm also 24 and I just wanna write songs and sing. I think Khun Ayan deserves admiration. From what I heard, the company is thriving better than ever, with the fresh new ideas and approach taken by the young CEO.
"Do you think he has a girlfriend?" Nameless #2 asked.
"He just came back from the US. If he does, she must be in the US," Ria points out.
Almost shaking my head at the amount of information gossips can actually acquire. Speaking of someone who just came back from the US, my mind once again drifts to YOLO's new singer. Opening the social media account of YOLO, I was surprised and pleased to find out that Ray is already getting popular. The comments alone had been full of praise for his voice and his beautiful face. Knowing full well that I was also one of those who banked on his looks to get noticed, I think having an attractive face really is an advantage. Ray's pretty face is going to make him popular in no time. I won't be surprised if he'll get scouted soon too.
Mentally chastising myself because I had been constantly thinking of the shorter man since yesterday. I was pulled out of my reverie by a tap on my shoulder and nameless #2 saying that I was done and the shoot is ready for me. Shaking off my thoughts of Ray, I smiled and thanked her. Now Sand, you just have to look handsome for the photos. We need to be famous so we can play in the music festivals. Plus, it's actually not so bad being a contract artist, I no longer have to work at my other part time. In fact, I'm only continuing my stint in YOLO because I like it and I liked P'Yo.
The next time I saw Ray in person - because he basically lived in my head rent free 24/7 since we met- was on Friday. I sat once again in the bar, chatting briefly with Plug who was surprised that I wasn't here for food but to listen to the acoustic singer. The now familiar sexy smirk present as he reads song requests and messages from his new fans.
"Thank you for listening to me tonight. Before I end my set, I'd like to sing this song to someone who loves this song so much when we were in high school that he had this on loop in his spotify. Wat, If this was a movie... " Smiling sweetly at a handsome man who raised his glass to Ray, smiling happily. I could feel my blood boil and my grip on the beer on my hand tightened. Does he have a boyfriend? Did he say high school? How long had they been dating?
After his set, he stepped off stage and went straight to the table in the middle, as the tall man, even taller than I am, stood up to hug him. Feeling like my oxygen got cut off suddenly, I walked out of the bar. Sitting on my motorbike I lit a cigarette. Great, first one I was interested in after three years and he is apparently taken. Mentally composing myself since my own set was about to start, I crushed the cigarette butt with the sole of my dirty converse, imagining a certain tall man's face.
Author's Note:
The build up of this story is slower than I expected.
Hope you're still enjoying it though. ☺️🧡
Be patient babies, Sand and Ray will get to their story soon.