Tw: panic attacks
Tommy's POV:
The day before the new years was eventful atleast. Wilbur and Techno streamed toghter while I hang around Tubbo and Ranboo, and Rue picked up Caitti on the airport with Bill— so in in my books thats an evenful day that i did not even notice the once sunny sky was now being replaced over by a dark starry sky.
The night started calm, people gathered around Phils house as it was the largest place we could think of, friends from other countries luaghing with eachother as they talked about thier day. It was a peaceful scenario for me to watch yet my thoughts lingered back to my brain, the voice i wish i could have not hear at that time— the voices we're back—my body felt numb, my thoughts clouded my brain, as I sat thier on Phil's living room couch starring over a blank wall.
I did know how long i was motionless, but i can hear Freddie's voice calling my name. Yet the voices in brain blocked his calls, all i can hear is thier words, shouting at me
End it.
End it.
End it.
Again and again. Where my friends voices we're unheard, their shouts were nothing but pure silence, it's just like wispers that are hard to hear, but one voice woke me up, it was an unexpected voice—it was kristen— her motherly tone cleared my brain, as I also stop fidgeting my sleeves, that i unkowingly was doing, the anxiety that was about to build-up calmed down
"Tom" she started "sweety are you alright?" She asked while wipping the tears i did not know i have
"Yeah, just overwhelemed that all" I lied giving her a small smile and a nod
She looked at me, worry filling up her eyes "Are you sure? You have been starring at that wall for the last ten minutes" she spoke, her poise motherly voice making my body calm while she still kneelt down infront of me
"Yeah" I answered, the only answer i came up with, which is shit by the way. The way Aimsey and Freddie eyed me with concern, shows how terrible the lie was.
3rd person's POV:
The noises of the fireworks boomed across the backyard of Phil's house, people gathered around a fire pit while they enjoyed the new years.
Techno watched Tommy the whole entire night, his eyes never left the young blond. Shouts and luaghter sorrouded the place, as Tommy sat on the couch that was laid outside while he watches everyone, his eyes scanned the room, the look of happiness and content filled his blue eyes.
For first time in months, a true smile appeared on his face—a smile that make him feel at peace.
The loud sounds of the fireworks and people shouting blared amongst the background as the new years eve. Phil stands right beside Kristin while they wait for new year to come when he notices a blond sitting on the couch that seems like his been disconnected from the reality
He walked up to him and kneeled down to look at him in eye level. "Toms, are alright mate?" He asked, concern and worry plastred across his face, Tommy looked at Phil and gave him a nod as he mumbled something under his breath
As the crowd starts to count, Techno pulled Tommy up from the couch that Tommy was comfortly sitting in as he hugged him tightly as if when he let go, Tommy would dissapear. The pink haired mans action made both blond's shocked.
Techno wasn't really someone to give someone hug without any reasons, everybody knew that about the pink haired man. When Techno let yo of the hug, Tommy looked at him puzzled, the youngers brows frown as his face we're filled with confusion.
Techno smiled at him "Im always here ok, Theseus" he spoke as he ruffled Tommys hair, he then beggins talking too Phil about something that he can't hear, well mainly becuase he can only hear this voices that clouded his head.
"He cares about you"
"Don't be a fool Thomas, his lying to you"
"His not lying he truly cares Tom"
"Your pathetic if you think he really cares"
The voices, they we're fighting. Does Techno really care about him or are the voices right, everyones lying. Tommy's thoughts filled his mind, he did not even notice the countdown that his friends we're shouting
The night ended, as the new year arrived. Everyone agreed on staying both of the Watson couples house for the night. Techno carried Wilbur's "sleeping" state to one of the guess rooms that Kristin prepared while Nikki had gone to go to another one of the prepared guess rooms leaving Techno with no choice but to share a room with Wilbur. Tommy and rest of the younger group stayed at the living room with sleeping bags set around.
The rest was asleep yet Tommy can't even get himself to one, the room was quiet, the sounds of birds howling at night filled the blond's ears. After a long debate, Tommy finally decided to just go outside to get some fresh air
Upon arrive to the patio of the backyard, he notice a tall with a long haired figure, "Ranboo?" He spoke quietly "can't sleep?" Ranboo asked as they watch the stars that sorrounded the dark sky "yeah, i did not even saw you gone out" Tommy asked, sitting next to the american "you we're zone out Tom, I tried calling you yet you did not even move" Ranboo once again while Tommy just nodded, is he really that zone out.
"Are you ok?" The american asked, concern filled his voice, "are you ok" a question the lingered to the back if his head, is he ok?, he asked himself, a stupid question to ask oneself
"Yeah" that all he asnwered as his head fell over the older's shoulder, his eyes closing from tardiness. Ranboo notice Tommy's head on his shoulder, he let hismelf relax and get confortable as he let the blond sleep on his shoulder, the younger looks like like he haven't slept in days. While Ranboo watched the stars he slowly feels his eyes getting heavy
The two we're alone, at a back porch couch as they both drift to sleep, not even caring about their sorroundings.
Author's not
-im sorry if this chapter seems a little longer that usual
▪︎mello