"Eun," Jungkook hummed, and his little munchkin looked up from his hand. They did this thing every week, where she filled colour in Jungkook's arm full of tattoos with either markers, paint or glittery sparkly pens. It reminded him so much of Hyunjae during the early stages of their college, but he was trying not to think about it. "Do you want to go see the bunnies today?"
It was their forte. Jungkook and his daughter shared the same bunny smile, and he found it heart-warmingly adorable. Once every month, they used to visit the local pet store and look at the animals there. They would laugh at the guinea pigs, pet the kittens, play with the puppies and feed carrots and celery to the bunnies.
Jungkook's heart warmed to no bounds seeing his daughter's love for animals just like his. He was teaching her to be compassionate and love all beings on the planet, and this was one of the ways to do so. She was always so gentle and so caring with even a bug on the side of the road, it reminded him so much of the little anecdotes of his childhood his Eomma would tell lovingly to quite literally everyone she could get her hands on.
"Bunnies?" Haeun's ears perked up and she gave him a mischievous-looking smile and Jungkook knew the answer right away. "Let me clean you up before we go, okay baby?"
***
Getting a whole puppy back from the pet store was not on Jungkook's agenda that day. Or any other day this year, for that matter. Sure, he did not have any time in the world to look after a whole ass dog at this point in his life, although he loved them. It always reminded him of their family dog back in Busan, Gureum.
But when his daughter gave him the most convincing pleading eyes, and said in the most adorable voice, "Appa, he looks just like you. Big eyes just like you. Please Appa, pleaseeee," he could not just say no.
They bought a puppy home and named him Bam.
Bam was a red and tan Doberman with silky fur. He had round eyes that rivalled Jungkook's and was so playful. Haeun giggled whenever he licked her lovingly and wiggled his tail.
Jungkook was aware that owning a pet would come with a lot of challenges. Having lived alone in his apartment for over five years, he knew that he would need to make several adjustments to pet-proof his home and cater to Bam's needs, including buying a leash and food. He realized that he was not fully prepared for this new chapter in his life and anticipated that it would be a bit of a struggle. Despite the complexities, watching his daughter play and laugh with Bam made it all worth it. He would do it ten times over just for her.
Later that day, Hyunjae texted Jungkook to ask if he was coming over for dinner since he had to drop Haeun off at her apartment.
Jungkook cursed as he looked at his sleeping daughter on the couch, with Bam also lying down on the wooden floor near his feet, one of Jungkook's hands stroking the top of his head lovingly. He had totally forgotten about dropping off Haeun.
He quickly texted her back, asking if she was free to pick Eun up, as he was busy and wouldn't be able to drive. He didn't want to risk leaving Bam alone in the apartment just the day he got him home. He might get separation anxiety, and Jungkook would die of guilt.
Hyunjae replied almost instantly, telling him she was out meeting a friend in his part of the town and could drop by to pick their daughter up after she was done.
Jungkook felt his throat tighten as he realized that it was time to part with his daughter again. This weekly routine was always difficult for him. He loved his daughter deeply and it pained him to only see her for two days each week. Saying goodbye to her was the hardest thing he had to do every week.
Maybe he was being super dramatic with it all, but Haeun was a big part of his life. She was a part of him. It saddened him to no bounds that she did not see both her parents together, and all the other family things kids her age experienced. She was too young to comprehend any difference from it all, yet Jungkook always had this feeling of guilt every time it was time for her to go back to her home, with her mother.
He frequently found himself pondering the what-ifs. What if things had gone differently? What if he had been able to save his marriage? What if he and Hyunjae had not gotten divorced? What if they had put in more effort to provide Eun with the kind of childhood that every other child her age deserved?
What if, what if, what if.
Jungkook needed to calm down.
Maybe he was looking too much into it. Maybe he needed some sleep urgently, and maybe he should stop overthinking about it. Maybe he was going through a well-felt mid-life crisis. Maybe he should seriously think about taking up therapy as Taehyung had suggested.
Or maybe, you should stop reading Hyunjae's diary from your teenage years, a pesky little voice in his head whispered almost maliciously.
Jungkook badly wanted to deny it, but the sad reality was that he couldn't. It was true. The voice was true.
It was an indirect invasion of privacy. Don't get him wrong, it was very very intriguing to read, and as each entry went by, he got more sucked into it all, but it was also creating unnecessary thoughts in his head. And... Jungkook and Thoughts were not the best buddies.
He had to remind himself that the divorce was a mutual decision made five years ago. Hyunjae was no longer as emotional as she used to be, he was not as reckless as he was in his twenties, and Haeun was no longer a toddler.
They had grown, personally and as a functional family unit. They had made their peace with it.
He would return it to her. The diary.
He had to.
For the sake of his little family, and most importantly, for the sake of his peace of mind.
***
Jungkook couldn't bring himself to return that darned diary. He just could not. Curiosity got the best of him, and now that he had started reading it, he might as well finish it before handing it over.
Hyunjae had arrived at his place not ten minutes ago, and for some unknown reason, his heart warmed at the sight of her patting Bam lovingly. After recovering from the initial shock that Jungkook had impulsively adopted a pup, she sat cross-legged on the floor with the pup, smiling at his tactics.
The voice in his mind reminded him that he had read in the diary not long ago, that she always wanted a big dog after she grew up.
Eun was still asleep, and Jungkook had offered to order some fried chicken for them, which she had gladly accepted, expressing that she was famished. She told him she would leave for her place after Eun had woken up from her slumber.
"How are you planning to get back? I assume you have your car with you." Jungkook and Hyunjae lived quite literally on the opposite side of the town. He had a high-rise apartment near his office, which was located in the heart of the city. This was their first and only place after the wedding.
Hyunjae's place was an hour's worth of drive from his place, located in the more calmer part of the town. Although her workplace was not situated nearby, she cherished several memories from the area. Particularly, when she and Jungkook moved from Busan for college, they lived in that locality and created beautiful memories while building their careers.
"Oh no, Eun-woo dropped me. I'll just take a cab home," she replied while giving Bam head scratches, not paying attention to him.
"Eun-woo?" Jungkook's eyebrows raised, and he had an unsettling feeling in the pit of his stomach.
"Oh yeah, Cha Eun-woo. We went to high school with him, remember? He recently moved here, so I grabbed coffee with him today. Did you hear, he's working as..."
Hyunjae's words fell on deaf ears. Suddenly, the unsettling feeling in his stomach twisted into a knot that was tightening by the second. He felt his ears go red, and the back of his neck suddenly felt hot.
She was hanging out with Cha Eunwoo. Jungkook's ex-best friend from high school.
She was hanging out with Cha Eunwoo. Her ex-flame from high school.
She was hanging out with Cha Eunwoo. The same boy she had left, to be with Jungkook.
She was hanging out with Cha Eunwoo?!
Jungkook was going to have a migraine.
Like a saviour, the doorbell rang, and Hyunjae got up to get the chicken. Jungkook made her sit, plated it for them, woke Eun up for dinner and ate in silence, too awkward to say anything.
He took his time, and thought through things, before opening his mouth, keeping his tone extremely neutral, "So, how is he? Eunwoo, I mean?"
Hyunjae curtly replied, "He's doing well," and continued eating the chicken, too busy making sure Eun was eating.
"I assume he has a family now."
Hyunjae shook her head no, and Jungkook's blood seemed to boil more, "His girlfriend dumped him before he went to the military three years ago, and after that, he's just been focused on his career as a cop. It's a bit sad, he always wanted a wife."
Oh, she pitied him now? He always wanted a family? Jungkook was gonna lose his mind.
"Have you been in contact with him?" he nodded as he passed over some chicken to their daughter.
"Not until very recently," she looked at him, and something sparkled in her eyes. Was it hope? Happiness? Joy? Was she dreaming of dating him and helping him build a family he always wanted to have? "Why do you ask though? Have you not heard from him?" She continued when he shook his head no, "Do you want me to set you up a meeting with him? It'll be lovely for you both to reconnect."
"I don't think there's any need for that, Hyunjae," Jungkook's voice had an edge to it. "I'm glad you're having fun."
He flashed her a tight-lipped smile, before saying, "I would offer to drive you and Eun home, but I can't leave Bam alone, nor do I have a car seat for him."
"It's fine, I can just take a cab."
Jungkook nodded as he started clearing up the table, while Eun got settled on the sofa beside Bam again, touching his head and making funny faces at him.
Hyunjae's phone pinged loudly as he returned to collect more dishes, and she smiled. It rubbed Jungkook the wrong way.
"Eunwoo is in this part of the down, and can drop us home, so you don't need to worry. He'll be here in ten minutes."
Jungkook clenched his teeth and took a deep breath from his nose. "Won't it be a bit of a hassle for him?" he asked as his last resort.
"I'm sure it's fine. He lives two blocks away from me."
But was Jungkook okay with it?
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author's note:
hello guys, how have y'all been? how are you doing lately?
thoughts on the chapter?????? we may or may not have a eunwoo appearance. or a yoongi or hobi appearance in the next chap. can't say more, my lips are sealed~
i cannot apologise enough for my disappearance. i've had a tough year, and i've had been struggling mentally too much to find time to write.
buuuuuuuuuuuut it's safe to say that i'm back. updates would still be slow, as i'm a full time student first, and i don't usually pre-write my chapters. i like to write them and post, and continue so that i also get feedback as well as inspiration from you all.
december is a tough month for all of us. let us stay together and keep supporting them.
i will see you soon.
stay safe, stay warm, and happy holidays,
all my love, x