Author's POV
The dorm was quiet, bathed in the soft glow of dimmed lights as the members of NCT settled into their respective rooms. Taeyong, however, lingered in the living area, a sense of apprehension gnawing at him. He glanced around nervously, making sure no one was watching him before he carefully opened a hidden compartment in the bookshelf.
From the concealed space, he retrieved a small, worn teddy bear and a faded blanket. The items were relics from his past, remnants of a time when he sought solace in the innocence of childhood. Taeyong's heart fluttered with a mix of nostalgia and anxiety as he cradled the teddy bear in his hands, feeling a connection to a part of himself he kept hidden from the world.
He took a quick glance at the clock – it was late, and the others were likely deep in slumber. This was his moment, a stolen fragment of time where he could let go of the burdensome responsibilities that came with leading NCT. As the leader, he was expected to be strong and composed, guiding the group with unwavering determination. But behind the composed exterior was a vulnerable secret that he guarded fiercely.
Taeyong made his way to his room, shutting the door with a quiet click. He drew the curtains closed, creating a cocoon of darkness that shielded his clandestine activities. With a deep breath, he allowed himself to regress into his littlespace, a realm of innocence and simplicity that he had kept hidden for so long.
He slipped into a pair of comfortable pajamas, the fabric soft against his skin. As he sat on the edge of his bed, he clutched the teddy bear tightly, feeling a surge of comfort wash over him. The weight of adulthood lifted as he embraced the childlike joy that came with his littlespace age.
In the safety of his room, Taeyong allowed himself to indulge in the simplicity of his secret world. He giggled softly, the sound echoing in the silence as he spoke to his teddy bear as if it were a confidant. The room transformed from a space of adulthood to a haven of innocence, where the weight of leadership melted away.
As he reveled in his littlespace, a knock on the door startled him. Panic gripped Taeyong as he hastily hid the teddy bear and blanket under his pillow. "Taeyong, you okay in there?" came a muffled voice from the other side – it was Doyoung, one of the members known for his caring nature.
"Yeah, I'm fine," Taeyong replied, forcing a casual tone. "Just getting ready for bed."
The door creaked open, revealing Doyoung's concerned expression. "You seem a bit off lately. Is everything okay?"
Taeyong nodded, offering a reassuring smile. "Just dealing with some stress. There's nothing to worry about."
Doyoung studied him for a moment before sighing. "If you ever need to talk, you know we're here for you, right?"
Taeyong nodded again, appreciating the sincerity in Doyoung's words. Once the door closed, he let out a breath he didn't realize he was holding. The close call served as a stark reminder that his secret was a delicate balance, a fragile facade that could crumble at any moment.
As the night wore on, Taeyong lay in bed, contemplating the intricacies of his double life. The dichotomy between the charismatic leader of NCT and the vulnerable, childlike side he hid away weighed heavily on him. It was a secret he guarded fiercely, fearing the judgment and misunderstanding that might arise if his members were to discover his littlespace.
Yet, in the quiet moments of the night, surrounded by the remnants of his hidden world, Taeyong couldn't shake the yearning for acceptance. The desire to be seen not just as a leader but as a multifaceted individual with vulnerabilities and quirks tugged at his heart. However, the fear of exposing his true self kept him locked in a cycle of secrecy.
As sleep finally claimed him, Taeyong drifted into dreams where his littlespace and adult responsibilities coexisted harmoniously – a utopia that remained elusive in the waking world.