TW: Talks about mental health issues
I stood there gripping the edge of the sink, my knuckles turning white. The voice in my head seemed to reverbrate as it picked up volume until I couldn't hear anything around me. "You're so weak, just grow a backbone. God you're so pathetic, just stop being a little bitch. I expected better of you, but you're a disappointment like the rest of your siblings." The voice, of course, was my father's. Even if I had escaped his house, I couldn't escape what he left me with. I clapped my hands over my ears and knelt to the ground, the yelling starting to pierce my skull. Then I felt a pair of hands over mine and the voice just stopped. I opened my eyes to see Loki kneeling beside me, concern evident on his features. I slowly removed my hands and he returned his hands to his lap. "Are you hearing him again?" I nodded my head slowly. He sighed and said, "There is only so much I can do, y/n. You need to tell Bucky, he can help you so much more, and he's your boyfriend for Odin's sake." I twisted the edge of my shirt as I heard him out. When he was done, I plastered a small smile on my face and said, "Let me think on it." Loki studied me for a moment before he gave me a sad smile and a brief hug. He stood and left the room, leaving me alone on the bathroom floor.
I got up and went straight to my bed, huddling under the blankets. Bucky wouldn't be with me tonight, he was on a mission, but he would be back tomorrow. I couldn't tell him my problem. He would think I was weak for being troubled by such a small thing. He went through so much more and needed someone to be there to help. Nobody would ever get better if we both had problems that needed fixing. I laid in my bed, my thoughts eating at me until I realized that the sky outside was starting to lighten. I groaned slightly and practically threw myself out of the bed. I tugged on one of Bucky's sweatshirts that hung like a dress on me and trudged towards the roof-access door.
I opened the door, but stopped when I saw someone else was here. It was Bucky. His back was to me so I could see his broad shoulders and well-built figure. Both of his hands gripped the railing as a slight breeze ruffled his dark hair. And then the fucking door slammed shut behind me. He turned at the noise and smiled when he saw me. I walked towards him and was immediately engulfed in a hug. When he pulled away, he took one look at my face and his smile disappeared. "Did you sleep at all last night?" He raised his hand and I couldn't help but flinch slightly. He noticed. His hand froze and he looked both hurt and shocked. I mentally face-palmed myself and moved to lean over the railing. The breeze had picked up slightly and was brushing against my face. I felt Bucky hesitantly rest his hand on my waist and turned me slightly to look at me.
"Are you okay?" With those three simple words, I just broke. I began crying and Bucky pulled me into his chest. I buried my face as loud gasps and sobs escaped from my mouth. Bucky rubbed my back, his head nestled in my hair as he made soothing noises. When I felt like I had enough control over what was coming out of my mouth, I pulled away slightly to look Bucky in the eyes, still very much within his grasp. I told him everything between shaky breaths: about my dad, my thoughts, and why I didn't want to tell him. When I was done, Bucky didn't say anything, he just pulled me back into him. "I'm so sorry that happened to you and that you have to deal with this. I hate that anyone made my girl feel like this." He whispers, his grip on me tightening slightly. "But, I also don't like how you didn't come to me sooner. I'm an expert at these kinds of things." I sighed as I said, "I'm sorry.""No, doll, you shouldn't be sorry. What matters to me is that you told me now and I can help you."
I looked up at him and asked, "Really?""Of course, what kind of boyfriend (much less person) would I be if I didn't help you and make you feel better?" I smiled at him, feeling lucky to have him. "How are you supposed to get better if you're focusing on helping me get better?" He shook his head at my question as he said, "We'll help each other, that's what we do. I've got you and you've got me. We'll grow together." At his words, I kissed him. I felt him cradle the back of my head to deepen the kiss. I pulled away for air and I whispered, "Thank you, Bucky." He leaned his forehead against mine and whispered back, "Anything for my girl."